In case you ever wondered just who gets stuck cleaning the catacombs of Paris… (Photograph taken by Michael Reeve)
Very sorry for the hasty letter today (the sound file and "word of the day" will return–along with the regular edition–on Wednesday).
I'm in a hurry as I need to be in Paris by 9 a.m. for three days of community service. The local authorities contacted us last month after a disgruntled sheep farmer filed a complaint. Turns out we are being prosecuted for empoisonnement! (Remember the cool "punk rock shepherd"? Well he wasn't so cool after all as he is claiming his herd suffered from gastro-entérite–or le gastro–after grazing on our "contaminated" pasture.)
That the sheep all but trespassed onto OUR private property–to enjoy a free meal–doesn't seem to faze the police, who informed us that when we made the verbal agreement allowing the berger's sheep to feed on our land, we were unwittingly taking responsibility for their santé.
I am trying to see the good in this even if I am reluctant head out, now, for some punitive community service. The 8-hour chore I have been assigned is surreal: the cleaning of the catacombs, i.e. Paris's underground cemetery. It took me a moment to understand the punishment, because of the confusing French words and legalease, which were misleading and which read: le nettoyage de l'ossuaire municipal. ("Ossuaire" threw me, but I recognized the words municipale and nettoyage and so assumed I was assigned to clean the floor of Town Hall–and not a wall of skulls!)
The good news is the State is paying for my train ticket. All I am to do is to provide a personal scrub brush. (The municipal order that I received in the mail contained a small packing list: I am to bring my brosse à dents and a small flask of olive oil. A further note–an instruction, actually–states "une goutte par tête" or "one drop per skull"). I guess they'll fill me in on the rest (is the olive oil both a detergent and a polish?) once I get there.
Off now to catch the train in Marseilles. See you Wednesday…
Amicalement,
Kristin
P.S. If they think I'm bringing my own toothbrush–get out! I'm taking an extra of Jean-Marc's. He won't even know the difference–he's not back from the States yet (or else HE would have volunteered to take the punishment).
P.P.S. Even more surreal (humiliating, actually) is the uniform I have been assigned to wear. See it here along with a note, in the comments box, and I would love to know your opinion on this one!
Note: The good news is the sheep will survive the stomach attack or le gastro; because they are no longer fit to slaughter they will live out their days in a petting zoo, outside Toulon).
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In theme with my punishement, I'm pairing this edition with photos I've taken over the years… of locks or cadenas. This one, in St Paul Trois Chateau.
Locked up somewhere in Italy….
Locked up somewhere in Provence…
Locked up somewhere in Croatia…
Locked up somewhere in Paris… that would be me. On my way now, to the Catacombes de Paris. Don't forget to see what the uniform I've been assigned looks like, here.
Smokey Locksmith says: If you're ever feeling locked up I've got a key for you! To comment on any of the photos, or something in this edition, click here.
Forward this edition to an April Fool. xoxo, Kristi
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Oh! Kristin, je suis tombée dans le panneau comme bcp d’autres !!! Et j’étais si fâchée contre ces hommes de loi!!! Je trouvais la situation ridicule mais, tout est possible. You explain it so well that you got me.
JOYEUX POISSON D’AVRIL À TOI AUSSI !
Very amusing…
Oh! Kristin, je suis tombée dans le panneau comme bcp d’autres !!! Et j’étais si fâchée contre ces hommes de loi!!! Je trouvais la situation ridicule mais, tout est possible. You explain it so well that you got me.
JOYEUX POISSON D’AVRIL À TOI AUSSI !
Very amusing…
You got me pretty good. I was a little suspicious about the sheep living happily ever after….but still fell. I was thinking, boy is Jean-Marc going to owe you for this one.
You got me pretty good. I was a little suspicious about the sheep living happily ever after….but still fell. I was thinking, boy is Jean-Marc going to owe you for this one.
You got me!
You got me!
Naughty! Naughty! Had a big laugh. Happy April Fools’Day!
Naughty! Naughty! Had a big laugh. Happy April Fools’Day!
That was Baaaaaaaaaaaaaad Kristin Espinasse, Ewe should be ashamed of yourself! 🙂 Aloha!
That was Baaaaaaaaaaaaaad Kristin Espinasse, Ewe should be ashamed of yourself! 🙂 Aloha!
Brilliant – Happy April Fools Day!!!!
Brilliant – Happy April Fools Day!!!!
Okay, just when I was about to rethink my idea of ever moving to France on account of the crazy laws that would allow such a thing to be happening to you, YOU GOT ME! That was great. I really believed it knowing how upside down our own laws here in the states have become. Keep the stories coming and hopefully I will get to see you on my next visit.
Okay, just when I was about to rethink my idea of ever moving to France on account of the crazy laws that would allow such a thing to be happening to you, YOU GOT ME! That was great. I really believed it knowing how upside down our own laws here in the states have become. Keep the stories coming and hopefully I will get to see you on my next visit.
Our dear Kristi,
THIS IS PRICELESS!!!
Between the dress, and scrubbing skulls with a toothbrush and olive oil….
WOW!!!
(the only thing I really wish was true was the part about the animals being spared)(and this,alas, is from a woman who served lamb on Easter!)
There is NO better way to start the week than with a HUGE laugh, and thanks to you, we (once again!) have!
Happy April Fools!
Love, Natalia XO
Our dear Kristi,
THIS IS PRICELESS!!!
Between the dress, and scrubbing skulls with a toothbrush and olive oil….
WOW!!!
(the only thing I really wish was true was the part about the animals being spared)(and this,alas, is from a woman who served lamb on Easter!)
There is NO better way to start the week than with a HUGE laugh, and thanks to you, we (once again!) have!
Happy April Fools!
Love, Natalia XO
Poisson d’avril right?! Otherwise it’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that most of us could only dream about! And what a story for the grandchildren – you’d be a legend! 🙂
Poisson d’avril right?! Otherwise it’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that most of us could only dream about! And what a story for the grandchildren – you’d be a legend! 🙂
Oh my goodness!!! I was quite horrified and rethinking how much I love France!!!! Boom. You got me!!!! 🙂
Oh my goodness!!! I was quite horrified and rethinking how much I love France!!!! Boom. You got me!!!! 🙂
Oh, you got both of us! In our defense (a weak one at that), this year 1st April was overshadowed by Easter Monday. At least Maxine discovered the truth before I suggested that you roll up hundreds of little paper slips with “Cleaned and Inspected by K.E.” to pop into the eye sockets as you went along the rows of permanent residents… Thanks for a great laugh. -Steve & Maxine in Lincoln, UK
Oh, you got both of us! In our defense (a weak one at that), this year 1st April was overshadowed by Easter Monday. At least Maxine discovered the truth before I suggested that you roll up hundreds of little paper slips with “Cleaned and Inspected by K.E.” to pop into the eye sockets as you went along the rows of permanent residents… Thanks for a great laugh. -Steve & Maxine in Lincoln, UK
What would you have done if this was a real life situation, Kristi??? Just curious.
You have a very imaginative mind. Great story! Your Mom hit the nail on the head, you little brat!
Luv ewe!!!
What would you have done if this was a real life situation, Kristi??? Just curious.
You have a very imaginative mind. Great story! Your Mom hit the nail on the head, you little brat!
Luv ewe!!!
What an “I gotcha”! Sure got me….still…the image of you scrubbing skulls is a great one…bien joue (please insert accent aigu)
What an “I gotcha”! Sure got me….still…the image of you scrubbing skulls is a great one…bien joue (please insert accent aigu)
Marika, good question… and wonderful story prompt! I should try to flesh that one out 🙂
Really enjoying everyones comments. Thank you so much! I had planned to post of rerun today and am glad to have followed a creative nudge instead.
Marika, good question… and wonderful story prompt! I should try to flesh that one out 🙂
Really enjoying everyones comments. Thank you so much! I had planned to post of rerun today and am glad to have followed a creative nudge instead.
I used to raise sheep and one of the surest ways to cause the gastro was to put them to pasture too early in the spring or for too long a stretch. Gotta introduce them slowly to new grass. The fault was probably his.
I used to raise sheep and one of the surest ways to cause the gastro was to put them to pasture too early in the spring or for too long a stretch. Gotta introduce them slowly to new grass. The fault was probably his.
Bonne histoire, Kristine, presque credible! Je viens de peindre la porte de St Paul Trois Chateau sur le couvercle d’une boite a cigare. Elle est tres reussie. Je vous l’envoie par email. Ce n’est pas un poisson d’avril!
Bonne histoire, Kristine, presque credible! Je viens de peindre la porte de St Paul Trois Chateau sur le couvercle d’une boite a cigare. Elle est tres reussie. Je vous l’envoie par email. Ce n’est pas un poisson d’avril!
You had me believing the possibility about being blamed (even convicted) for the sick sheep but a free train ticket to Paris caused me to become doubtful 🙂
You had me believing the possibility about being blamed (even convicted) for the sick sheep but a free train ticket to Paris caused me to become doubtful 🙂
OK, you got me! I just thought that is one more thing that shows a cultural difference between countries! I was really trying to figure out how cleaning catacombs would help your community so far from Paris, but…
Good one! Hey, how I say that in French? Bon chose? Bon un?
OK, you got me! I just thought that is one more thing that shows a cultural difference between countries! I was really trying to figure out how cleaning catacombs would help your community so far from Paris, but…
Good one! Hey, how I say that in French? Bon chose? Bon un?
i had a good laugh on this one and said, that is why Paris is so clean and shining — all small crimes go to Paris!!! you got me!!!
i had a good laugh on this one and said, that is why Paris is so clean and shining — all small crimes go to Paris!!! you got me!!!
You had me on this one. I was SHOCKED yet, looked forward to the photo of your outfit!
You had me on this one. I was SHOCKED yet, looked forward to the photo of your outfit!
Poisson d’Avril!!! You are so bad! I fell too.
Poisson d’Avril!!! You are so bad! I fell too.
O how I gobbled up your story and predicament feeling my heat rise….. only to suddenly escape into April foolishness! Great writing Kristin.
🙂
O how I gobbled up your story and predicament feeling my heat rise….. only to suddenly escape into April foolishness! Great writing Kristin.
🙂
Poisson d’avril! You got me good! It was just SO believable :-))) Bisous from sunny Spain!
Poisson d’avril! You got me good! It was just SO believable :-))) Bisous from sunny Spain!
Have you ever read Thomas Hardy’s novel “Far From the Madding Crowd”? When the sheep fall ill from gastro problems, just as you describe here, Gabriel Oak punctures their stomachs to expel the gas and thus saves the flock. I was wondering why the cool shepherd didn’t do the same!(I’m sure there’s an updated treatment for the condition now!) Thanks for the laugh.
Have you ever read Thomas Hardy’s novel “Far From the Madding Crowd”? When the sheep fall ill from gastro problems, just as you describe here, Gabriel Oak punctures their stomachs to expel the gas and thus saves the flock. I was wondering why the cool shepherd didn’t do the same!(I’m sure there’s an updated treatment for the condition now!) Thanks for the laugh.
Fabulous! I adore April Fool pranks/stories and yours was one of the best I have ever heard. Using J-M’s old toothbrush and one drop of oil per skull was priceless. Mille mercis!!
Fabulous! I adore April Fool pranks/stories and yours was one of the best I have ever heard. Using J-M’s old toothbrush and one drop of oil per skull was priceless. Mille mercis!!