In case you ever wondered just who gets stuck cleaning the catacombs of Paris… (Photograph taken by Michael Reeve)
Very sorry for the hasty letter today (the sound file and "word of the day" will return–along with the regular edition–on Wednesday).
I'm in a hurry as I need to be in Paris by 9 a.m. for three days of community service. The local authorities contacted us last month after a disgruntled sheep farmer filed a complaint. Turns out we are being prosecuted for empoisonnement! (Remember the cool "punk rock shepherd"? Well he wasn't so cool after all as he is claiming his herd suffered from gastro-entérite–or le gastro–after grazing on our "contaminated" pasture.)
That the sheep all but trespassed onto OUR private property–to enjoy a free meal–doesn't seem to faze the police, who informed us that when we made the verbal agreement allowing the berger's sheep to feed on our land, we were unwittingly taking responsibility for their santé.
I am trying to see the good in this even if I am reluctant head out, now, for some punitive community service. The 8-hour chore I have been assigned is surreal: the cleaning of the catacombs, i.e. Paris's underground cemetery. It took me a moment to understand the punishment, because of the confusing French words and legalease, which were misleading and which read: le nettoyage de l'ossuaire municipal. ("Ossuaire" threw me, but I recognized the words municipale and nettoyage and so assumed I was assigned to clean the floor of Town Hall–and not a wall of skulls!)
The good news is the State is paying for my train ticket. All I am to do is to provide a personal scrub brush. (The municipal order that I received in the mail contained a small packing list: I am to bring my brosse à dents and a small flask of olive oil. A further note–an instruction, actually–states "une goutte par tête" or "one drop per skull"). I guess they'll fill me in on the rest (is the olive oil both a detergent and a polish?) once I get there.
Off now to catch the train in Marseilles. See you Wednesday…
Amicalement,
Kristin
P.S. If they think I'm bringing my own toothbrush–get out! I'm taking an extra of Jean-Marc's. He won't even know the difference–he's not back from the States yet (or else HE would have volunteered to take the punishment).
P.P.S. Even more surreal (humiliating, actually) is the uniform I have been assigned to wear. See it here along with a note, in the comments box, and I would love to know your opinion on this one!
Note: The good news is the sheep will survive the stomach attack or le gastro; because they are no longer fit to slaughter they will live out their days in a petting zoo, outside Toulon).
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In theme with my punishement, I'm pairing this edition with photos I've taken over the years… of locks or cadenas. This one, in St Paul Trois Chateau.
Locked up somewhere in Italy….
Locked up somewhere in Provence…
Locked up somewhere in Croatia…
Locked up somewhere in Paris… that would be me. On my way now, to the Catacombes de Paris. Don't forget to see what the uniform I've been assigned looks like, here.
Smokey Locksmith says: If you're ever feeling locked up I've got a key for you! To comment on any of the photos, or something in this edition, click here.
Forward this edition to an April Fool. xoxo, Kristi
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Oh good one! here I was excited for you to go clean the skulls, I’d do it!
Oh good one! here I was excited for you to go clean the skulls, I’d do it!
Was hoping those sheep were for shearing!
Was hoping those sheep were for shearing!
Got me! Happy April.
Mary
Got me! Happy April.
Mary
Good one–I bit! But it reminded me of the old adage, “no good deed goes unpunished.” In French…?
Good one–I bit! But it reminded me of the old adage, “no good deed goes unpunished.” In French…?
Oh, Kristin, you really snookered us in on this one. Never saw it coming, since you wove some truth into it (the shepherd). Plus, my husband, who never reads French Word-A-Day was intrigued by the subject line–catacombs, so he fell in headfirst as well. I sure hope you had as much devious fun creating the tale as we did reading it. How can you ever top this one next year???
Oh, Kristin, you really snookered us in on this one. Never saw it coming, since you wove some truth into it (the shepherd). Plus, my husband, who never reads French Word-A-Day was intrigued by the subject line–catacombs, so he fell in headfirst as well. I sure hope you had as much devious fun creating the tale as we did reading it. How can you ever top this one next year???
Good one! I didn’t realize until I started reading the comments that this was a “poisson d’Avril. I had really gotten a load of steam worked up about that ungrateful shepherd. Having watched Rick Steves wandering in places where there are many decorated (and clean) skulls, it seemed believable. Congrats on one of the best April Fool cons ever.
Good one! I didn’t realize until I started reading the comments that this was a “poisson d’Avril. I had really gotten a load of steam worked up about that ungrateful shepherd. Having watched Rick Steves wandering in places where there are many decorated (and clean) skulls, it seemed believable. Congrats on one of the best April Fool cons ever.
Great Kristi – what a hoot!
The ending was so convincing ewe got me good and proper!
THANKs for the fun which brightened up a very cold day here!
Great Kristi – what a hoot!
The ending was so convincing ewe got me good and proper!
THANKs for the fun which brightened up a very cold day here!
That is the best April Fool’s trick that has ever completely fooled me. I have to admit I enjoyed reading it while feeling badly for you.
That is the best April Fool’s trick that has ever completely fooled me. I have to admit I enjoyed reading it while feeling badly for you.
you got me! I was going to comment that it was so bizarre it was unbelievable except that you were experiencing it! even so, it never occurred to me that it was an April fool’s joke! Cheers!
you got me! I was going to comment that it was so bizarre it was unbelievable except that you were experiencing it! even so, it never occurred to me that it was an April fool’s joke! Cheers!
Wow, I know the French but didn’t think the government would be that weird…then realized it was April 1st. Good one.
Wow, I know the French but didn’t think the government would be that weird…then realized it was April 1st. Good one.
Dear Kristin,
Could you also please tell us how to say “You got me!” and “You had me completely convinced!” and “You pulled the wool over my eyes!”
Also, “You are extremely naughty, you know that, don’t you?”
Best wishes — I love your blog.
Dear Kristin,
Could you also please tell us how to say “You got me!” and “You had me completely convinced!” and “You pulled the wool over my eyes!”
Also, “You are extremely naughty, you know that, don’t you?”
Best wishes — I love your blog.
Better late than never – I just need to confess I forgot the date and was in a state of righteous indignation on your behalf. ‘How COULD they do this and ‘If her husband was home when they tried this…’ etc.
You are so very funny…
Better late than never – I just need to confess I forgot the date and was in a state of righteous indignation on your behalf. ‘How COULD they do this and ‘If her husband was home when they tried this…’ etc.
You are so very funny…
So funny! I was completely taken in by your story. I wonder what that says about my impression of the French justice system?? Glad Jean-Marc’s toothbrush is safe!
So funny! I was completely taken in by your story. I wonder what that says about my impression of the French justice system?? Glad Jean-Marc’s toothbrush is safe!
I could not find a picture of the uniform no matter where I clicked. . .
I could not find a picture of the uniform no matter where I clicked. . .
Good one Kristi ….I needed a laugh today …
Good one Kristi ….I needed a laugh today …
Skullduggery! You! Goooood one!
Skullduggery! You! Goooood one!