In case you ever wondered just who gets stuck cleaning the catacombs of Paris… (Photograph taken by Michael Reeve)
Very sorry for the hasty letter today (the sound file and "word of the day" will return–along with the regular edition–on Wednesday).
I'm in a hurry as I need to be in Paris by 9 a.m. for three days of community service. The local authorities contacted us last month after a disgruntled sheep farmer filed a complaint. Turns out we are being prosecuted for empoisonnement! (Remember the cool "punk rock shepherd"? Well he wasn't so cool after all as he is claiming his herd suffered from gastro-entérite–or le gastro–after grazing on our "contaminated" pasture.)
That the sheep all but trespassed onto OUR private property–to enjoy a free meal–doesn't seem to faze the police, who informed us that when we made the verbal agreement allowing the berger's sheep to feed on our land, we were unwittingly taking responsibility for their santé.
I am trying to see the good in this even if I am reluctant head out, now, for some punitive community service. The 8-hour chore I have been assigned is surreal: the cleaning of the catacombs, i.e. Paris's underground cemetery. It took me a moment to understand the punishment, because of the confusing French words and legalease, which were misleading and which read: le nettoyage de l'ossuaire municipal. ("Ossuaire" threw me, but I recognized the words municipale and nettoyage and so assumed I was assigned to clean the floor of Town Hall–and not a wall of skulls!)
The good news is the State is paying for my train ticket. All I am to do is to provide a personal scrub brush. (The municipal order that I received in the mail contained a small packing list: I am to bring my brosse à dents and a small flask of olive oil. A further note–an instruction, actually–states "une goutte par tête" or "one drop per skull"). I guess they'll fill me in on the rest (is the olive oil both a detergent and a polish?) once I get there.
Off now to catch the train in Marseilles. See you Wednesday…
Amicalement,
Kristin
P.S. If they think I'm bringing my own toothbrush–get out! I'm taking an extra of Jean-Marc's. He won't even know the difference–he's not back from the States yet (or else HE would have volunteered to take the punishment).
P.P.S. Even more surreal (humiliating, actually) is the uniform I have been assigned to wear. See it here along with a note, in the comments box, and I would love to know your opinion on this one!
Note: The good news is the sheep will survive the stomach attack or le gastro; because they are no longer fit to slaughter they will live out their days in a petting zoo, outside Toulon).
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In theme with my punishement, I'm pairing this edition with photos I've taken over the years… of locks or cadenas. This one, in St Paul Trois Chateau.
Locked up somewhere in Italy….
Locked up somewhere in Provence…
Locked up somewhere in Croatia…
Locked up somewhere in Paris… that would be me. On my way now, to the Catacombes de Paris. Don't forget to see what the uniform I've been assigned looks like, here.
Smokey Locksmith says: If you're ever feeling locked up I've got a key for you! To comment on any of the photos, or something in this edition, click here.
Forward this edition to an April Fool. xoxo, Kristi
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You had me going there, lol. Very good one! Sheep do tend to easily have gas problems, endangering their lives very quickly. Just in case you ever need to know! 😉
You had me going there, lol. Very good one! Sheep do tend to easily have gas problems, endangering their lives very quickly. Just in case you ever need to know! 😉
Thanks for a wonderful start to April. I’m so sorry that I missed Chief Grape in D.C. Best to you and your family
Thanks for a wonderful start to April. I’m so sorry that I missed Chief Grape in D.C. Best to you and your family
LOL, you certainly got me! I was ready to send this to my French friends.
Happy April Fool’s Day a tous!
LOL, you certainly got me! I was ready to send this to my French friends.
Happy April Fool’s Day a tous!
Best April Fool’s EVER!!!!
Best April Fool’s EVER!!!!
Kristin, I posted a long comment about rescinding the agreement to allow the sheep on your land or to modify it to include a hold harmless clause (in writing). Sorry but I’m an attorney. The comment appeared above as posted and then disappeared into cuberspace when I checked back later. I’m not sure if it’s awaiting your approval or if it’s lost. Let me know and I’ll re-create it.
Kristin, I posted a long comment about rescinding the agreement to allow the sheep on your land or to modify it to include a hold harmless clause (in writing). Sorry but I’m an attorney. The comment appeared above as posted and then disappeared into cuberspace when I checked back later. I’m not sure if it’s awaiting your approval or if it’s lost. Let me know and I’ll re-create it.
Good one! Bon Poisson d’Avril!
Good one! Bon Poisson d’Avril!
You totally had me! Great poisson d’Avril!
You totally had me! Great poisson d’Avril!
Wow, you really believed you! I was like OMG? How dis this happen to you? Good one Kristin!
Wow, you really believed you! I was like OMG? How dis this happen to you? Good one Kristin!
Really fell for it. Loved it.
Really fell for it. Loved it.
As I was reading I kept thinking “This had better be an April Fool’s joke.” One of the first things out of my husband’s mouth this morning was “Beware! Watch your reaction to things today.” So you didn’t quite get me, but good story & nice try.
As I was reading I kept thinking “This had better be an April Fool’s joke.” One of the first things out of my husband’s mouth this morning was “Beware! Watch your reaction to things today.” So you didn’t quite get me, but good story & nice try.
Hey – I was going to say COOLEST punishment EVER!! But then you dropped the masque. Very imaginative of you; was any part of your story true? Is the punkrock shepherd really mauvais? Congrats on such a successful ruse.
Hey – I was going to say COOLEST punishment EVER!! But then you dropped the masque. Very imaginative of you; was any part of your story true? Is the punkrock shepherd really mauvais? Congrats on such a successful ruse.
Just coming up for air–and I need to rinse my toothbrush in the Paris gutter before heading back to the wall of sculls. A lady on the street loaned me her iPhone and I am quickly typing this in time to say THANK YOU for reading my stories! Even if I have never ventured down to Pariss underground, your readership allows me to dream a little. P.S. Linda, no the punk rock shepherd is not bad at all. Just a victim April Fools, like some of you!
Just coming up for air–and I need to rinse my toothbrush in the Paris gutter before heading back to the wall of sculls. A lady on the street loaned me her iPhone and I am quickly typing this in time to say THANK YOU for reading my stories! Even if I have never ventured down to Pariss underground, your readership allows me to dream a little. P.S. Linda, no the punk rock shepherd is not bad at all. Just a victim April Fools, like some of you!
I suggest you rescind the agreement since, by volunteering to allow the sheep on your land, the law apparently places the obligation to maintain and keep the land safe for the sheep on you. It appears that simply by agreeing, you have assumed the extra liability. There can’t be an obligation that you continue to allow this in perpetuity. Either rescind or modify it in writing whereby the sheepherder agrees to hold you harmless. You may need a notaire or a lawyer to do this. In the States, agreements pertaining to land are usually required to be in writing. Not sure what France has but since a casual, friendly, oral agreement has produced a claim against you, I suggest it is worth the price of a notaire or lawyer. Sometime, to paraphrase Robert Frost, fences DO make good neighbors. Your neighbor had no problem causing you all these problems; I would in your place have no problem putting an end to your kind, oral arrangement. Bonne chance
I suggest you rescind the agreement since, by volunteering to allow the sheep on your land, the law apparently places the obligation to maintain and keep the land safe for the sheep on you. It appears that simply by agreeing, you have assumed the extra liability. There can’t be an obligation that you continue to allow this in perpetuity. Either rescind or modify it in writing whereby the sheepherder agrees to hold you harmless. You may need a notaire or a lawyer to do this. In the States, agreements pertaining to land are usually required to be in writing. Not sure what France has but since a casual, friendly, oral agreement has produced a claim against you, I suggest it is worth the price of a notaire or lawyer. Sometime, to paraphrase Robert Frost, fences DO make good neighbors. Your neighbor had no problem causing you all these problems; I would in your place have no problem putting an end to your kind, oral arrangement. Bonne chance
Ok, so I was wondering how you were able to get a pic of your “uniform”, catch the train, get to your community service, AND still post all this. Good one! Happy April Fools Day!
Ok, so I was wondering how you were able to get a pic of your “uniform”, catch the train, get to your community service, AND still post all this. Good one! Happy April Fools Day!
And I was thinking wow! I’m glad I don’t live in France>
And I was thinking wow! I’m glad I don’t live in France>
Darn! Here I am in Paris for one more day– I was going to insist that we go to the catacombs and try to catch a glimpse of you, scrubbing away! Once I knew what uniform you were going to wear …! Well, we will just have to celebrate our last day of vacation above ground!!
Darn! Here I am in Paris for one more day– I was going to insist that we go to the catacombs and try to catch a glimpse of you, scrubbing away! Once I knew what uniform you were going to wear …! Well, we will just have to celebrate our last day of vacation above ground!!
got me too!!! good story!
got me too!!! good story!
AS AN OLD SAILOR, I MUST ADMIT THAT THE USE OF MANY FOUR LETTER WORDS WERE UTTERED, WHILE READING OF YOUR PLIGHT. SOME WERE FOR THE SHEEPHERDER AND MANY FOR THE OFFICIALS THAT WOULD DARE TO ATTACK OUR KRISTIN. LAUGHING OUT LOUD WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND IS STARTLING . I THINK YOU GOT US ALL !
AS AN OLD SAILOR, I MUST ADMIT THAT THE USE OF MANY FOUR LETTER WORDS WERE UTTERED, WHILE READING OF YOUR PLIGHT. SOME WERE FOR THE SHEEPHERDER AND MANY FOR THE OFFICIALS THAT WOULD DARE TO ATTACK OUR KRISTIN. LAUGHING OUT LOUD WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND IS STARTLING . I THINK YOU GOT US ALL !
Okay, Kristi…you got me.
This is after my daughter called early this morning to tell me that she had been awakened last night by a racket in the backyard. Turns out it was a pair of coyotes…shouldn’t surprise you being from Arizona…and I fell for that, too.
I did wonder about the French government paying for your train ticket, and the advisability of olive oil, but I still took it hook, line and sinker.
Good on ya!
Amicalement,
Skip & Karen
Okay, Kristi…you got me.
This is after my daughter called early this morning to tell me that she had been awakened last night by a racket in the backyard. Turns out it was a pair of coyotes…shouldn’t surprise you being from Arizona…and I fell for that, too.
I did wonder about the French government paying for your train ticket, and the advisability of olive oil, but I still took it hook, line and sinker.
Good on ya!
Amicalement,
Skip & Karen
You got me too! That was superb! What an adventure that would have been, if it had been true. The kids are still in bed, they have a school holiday for Cesar Chavez day and you’ve inspired me to conjure up an April Fool’s gag…
You got me too! That was superb! What an adventure that would have been, if it had been true. The kids are still in bed, they have a school holiday for Cesar Chavez day and you’ve inspired me to conjure up an April Fool’s gag…
Well, the wall is real. The skulls are easy to see, but the less visible objects stacked in rows upon rows are the lower ends of human thigh bones. Imagine the number of skeletons involved…
David
Well, the wall is real. The skulls are easy to see, but the less visible objects stacked in rows upon rows are the lower ends of human thigh bones. Imagine the number of skeletons involved…
David
What a hoot!!! Here I was feeling incensed at the injustice!! So who does clean the catacombs?
What a hoot!!! Here I was feeling incensed at the injustice!! So who does clean the catacombs?
Haha, you totally had me fooled! Thanks so much! April 1:st just isn’t complete without being fooled at least once. Now to see if I can inflict the same hilarity on my friends; I’ll forward the RSS around.
Cheers from a new subsriber!
Haha, you totally had me fooled! Thanks so much! April 1:st just isn’t complete without being fooled at least once. Now to see if I can inflict the same hilarity on my friends; I’ll forward the RSS around.
Cheers from a new subsriber!
Good one Kristin! First chuckle of the day. Merci!
Good one Kristin! First chuckle of the day. Merci!
Too funny Kristin! I loved it!
Merci beaucoup!
Just a passing comment — why is there a Cesar Chavez day in CA but we group all the presidents together on Presidents day? Don’t Jefferson, Washington & Lincoln deserve their own day? Nothing political —- just an observation.
Too funny Kristin! I loved it!
Merci beaucoup!
Just a passing comment — why is there a Cesar Chavez day in CA but we group all the presidents together on Presidents day? Don’t Jefferson, Washington & Lincoln deserve their own day? Nothing political —- just an observation.