In case you ever wondered just who gets stuck cleaning the catacombs of Paris… (Photograph taken by Michael Reeve)
Very sorry for the hasty letter today (the sound file and "word of the day" will return–along with the regular edition–on Wednesday).
I'm in a hurry as I need to be in Paris by 9 a.m. for three days of community service. The local authorities contacted us last month after a disgruntled sheep farmer filed a complaint. Turns out we are being prosecuted for empoisonnement! (Remember the cool "punk rock shepherd"? Well he wasn't so cool after all as he is claiming his herd suffered from gastro-entérite–or le gastro–after grazing on our "contaminated" pasture.)
That the sheep all but trespassed onto OUR private property–to enjoy a free meal–doesn't seem to faze the police, who informed us that when we made the verbal agreement allowing the berger's sheep to feed on our land, we were unwittingly taking responsibility for their santé.
I am trying to see the good in this even if I am reluctant head out, now, for some punitive community service. The 8-hour chore I have been assigned is surreal: the cleaning of the catacombs, i.e. Paris's underground cemetery. It took me a moment to understand the punishment, because of the confusing French words and legalease, which were misleading and which read: le nettoyage de l'ossuaire municipal. ("Ossuaire" threw me, but I recognized the words municipale and nettoyage and so assumed I was assigned to clean the floor of Town Hall–and not a wall of skulls!)
The good news is the State is paying for my train ticket. All I am to do is to provide a personal scrub brush. (The municipal order that I received in the mail contained a small packing list: I am to bring my brosse à dents and a small flask of olive oil. A further note–an instruction, actually–states "une goutte par tête" or "one drop per skull"). I guess they'll fill me in on the rest (is the olive oil both a detergent and a polish?) once I get there.
Off now to catch the train in Marseilles. See you Wednesday…
Amicalement,
Kristin
P.S. If they think I'm bringing my own toothbrush–get out! I'm taking an extra of Jean-Marc's. He won't even know the difference–he's not back from the States yet (or else HE would have volunteered to take the punishment).
P.P.S. Even more surreal (humiliating, actually) is the uniform I have been assigned to wear. See it here along with a note, in the comments box, and I would love to know your opinion on this one!
Note: The good news is the sheep will survive the stomach attack or le gastro; because they are no longer fit to slaughter they will live out their days in a petting zoo, outside Toulon).
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In theme with my punishement, I'm pairing this edition with photos I've taken over the years… of locks or cadenas. This one, in St Paul Trois Chateau.
Locked up somewhere in Italy….
Locked up somewhere in Provence…
Locked up somewhere in Croatia…
Locked up somewhere in Paris… that would be me. On my way now, to the Catacombes de Paris. Don't forget to see what the uniform I've been assigned looks like, here.
Smokey Locksmith says: If you're ever feeling locked up I've got a key for you! To comment on any of the photos, or something in this edition, click here.
Forward this edition to an April Fool. xoxo, Kristi
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So there is some truth to the old maxim: “No good deed goes unpunished”!
So there is some truth to the old maxim: “No good deed goes unpunished”!
No wonder my husband said “Thats ridiculous”when I told him this story!
No wonder my husband said “Thats ridiculous”when I told him this story!
I was believing all the way through and also wanted to see what a French “criminal worksuit” looked like! LOL. Now if you had been telling us this histoire in person, I’m sure your twinking eyes and sweet smile would have given you away!! Hey, another excellent reason to be a Writer of Stories!! You do that so very well, as noted by all of us, even more so with your “Poisson d’avril” today – good name for this -you had us all “reeled in” like fish in a barrel (ok, a bit of mixed metaphors!). Happy fun day to all!
I was believing all the way through and also wanted to see what a French “criminal worksuit” looked like! LOL. Now if you had been telling us this histoire in person, I’m sure your twinking eyes and sweet smile would have given you away!! Hey, another excellent reason to be a Writer of Stories!! You do that so very well, as noted by all of us, even more so with your “Poisson d’avril” today – good name for this -you had us all “reeled in” like fish in a barrel (ok, a bit of mixed metaphors!). Happy fun day to all!
April Fools we are!!!! I believed you until you mentioned what the punishment was and then I was thinking, oh this must be an April Fool’s joke! What a funny story! So glad you didn’t do a rerun. Thanks for, once again, making my day Kristi!
Jules -loved your comment about the “brat” 🙂
Bill Facker- loved your comment about how “baaaaad” Kristi is. 🙂
Hope everyone is having a great day and I can’t wait to hear what JM thought of this one!
Hope the kiddos don’t come up with a doozy for you tonight Kristi!
Carolyn
April Fools we are!!!! I believed you until you mentioned what the punishment was and then I was thinking, oh this must be an April Fool’s joke! What a funny story! So glad you didn’t do a rerun. Thanks for, once again, making my day Kristi!
Jules -loved your comment about the “brat” 🙂
Bill Facker- loved your comment about how “baaaaad” Kristi is. 🙂
Hope everyone is having a great day and I can’t wait to hear what JM thought of this one!
Hope the kiddos don’t come up with a doozy for you tonight Kristi!
Carolyn
Good one.
Good one.
Oh you had me right down to looking for the photo of you in your uniform. If nothing interesting happens one day, you can just make it up and we will all believe it.
Oh you had me right down to looking for the photo of you in your uniform. If nothing interesting happens one day, you can just make it up and we will all believe it.
I totally fell for this one!!! Whew…glad it isn’t true as I printed out the beautiful
photo Jean Marc took of those sheep and have it framed, hanging on the wall. I am so glad the sheep are really okay…
I totally fell for this one!!! Whew…glad it isn’t true as I printed out the beautiful
photo Jean Marc took of those sheep and have it framed, hanging on the wall. I am so glad the sheep are really okay…
Bon Poisson d’Avril!
Bon Poisson d’Avril!
And it sounded like so much fun – and what interesting stories you could have shared!
Fooled in Massachusetts
And it sounded like so much fun – and what interesting stories you could have shared!
Fooled in Massachusetts
Love your sense of humor!!!
Love your sense of humor!!!
After living in France for 8 years I know the story is probably true.This kind of crazy stuff happens all the time. We lost $8,000.00 in the days we believed French judicial justice was kind of the same as the States (NC at that! Oh, sacrilage) I just think you didn’t like your costume shot so fooled us there.
PS And my kids say I’m the worlds most gullible. Go figure.
Ellen ( a New Yorker, Southerner, Burgundian, in that order)
After living in France for 8 years I know the story is probably true.This kind of crazy stuff happens all the time. We lost $8,000.00 in the days we believed French judicial justice was kind of the same as the States (NC at that! Oh, sacrilage) I just think you didn’t like your costume shot so fooled us there.
PS And my kids say I’m the worlds most gullible. Go figure.
Ellen ( a New Yorker, Southerner, Burgundian, in that order)
Wow! You are so great. I really enjoy your stories.
Wow! You are so great. I really enjoy your stories.
Très bien joué! Un vrai poisson d’avril impeccable! Je suis d’accord avec les autres–une bonne histoire à publir dans un prochain livre…
Très bien joué! Un vrai poisson d’avril impeccable! Je suis d’accord avec les autres–une bonne histoire à publir dans un prochain livre…
I totally fell for it. Congratulations!
I totally fell for it. Congratulations!
C’est un bon poisson d’avril. C’est le 2me avril ici en Australie. Bonnes Paques!
C’est un bon poisson d’avril. C’est le 2me avril ici en Australie. Bonnes Paques!
HAHAHAHA…you had me fooled Kristin! I totally forgot today was April Fool’s Day. I was waiting to see you in an orange prison jumpsuit!
HAHAHAHA…you had me fooled Kristin! I totally forgot today was April Fool’s Day. I was waiting to see you in an orange prison jumpsuit!
Shocked, but gullible apparently, because I figured with all of the exhaustive & often bewildering French bureaucracy, though this was an odd one, that it was true!
Damn good one, Kristin.
Shocked, but gullible apparently, because I figured with all of the exhaustive & often bewildering French bureaucracy, though this was an odd one, that it was true!
Damn good one, Kristin.
At 2000h tonight, I realized, somewhat sadly, that no one had played an April Fool’s Day prank on me today. At 2001h, I started reading your April 1 post. I believed every word of it until I obeyed your invitation to look at your uniform. Add me to the long list of those who were completely taken in by your story…Well Done, Kristin!!! As my most recent birthday card advised, “Cherish Nonsense!” XOXO
At 2000h tonight, I realized, somewhat sadly, that no one had played an April Fool’s Day prank on me today. At 2001h, I started reading your April 1 post. I believed every word of it until I obeyed your invitation to look at your uniform. Add me to the long list of those who were completely taken in by your story…Well Done, Kristin!!! As my most recent birthday card advised, “Cherish Nonsense!” XOXO
Ha, ha, ha . . . (or is that, baaa, baaa, baaa?) Good one! I started having my doubts when the state was paying for the ticket, started really wondering when you had to bring your own toothbrush and olive oil, but I did have to confirm by clicking to see your prison attire! 🙂
Ha, ha, ha . . . (or is that, baaa, baaa, baaa?) Good one! I started having my doubts when the state was paying for the ticket, started really wondering when you had to bring your own toothbrush and olive oil, but I did have to confirm by clicking to see your prison attire! 🙂
Guilty as gullible! The only thing that made me wonder was your TWO nudgings to look at your uniform. Meanwhile I just earnestly thought you REALLY should see this as a chance to get some great stories to write about. It bewildered me that you didn’t see that!
Happy April 1st!
You showed us all our own natures, brilliantly!
Guilty as gullible! The only thing that made me wonder was your TWO nudgings to look at your uniform. Meanwhile I just earnestly thought you REALLY should see this as a chance to get some great stories to write about. It bewildered me that you didn’t see that!
Happy April 1st!
You showed us all our own natures, brilliantly!
You must have giggled yourself off the chair with this one…just before pushing the “send” button!!!!!!! 🙂
You must have giggled yourself off the chair with this one…just before pushing the “send” button!!!!!!! 🙂
🙂 Kristin Espinasse with une brosse à dents in Paris catacombs could be a perfect séquelles to the absolutely hilarious Pierre Richard/Gérard Depardieu duet in La Chèvre.
🙂 I mean, c’mon, you’ve gotta be thAt unlucky!! :-).. A very good April’s 1st joke! Thank you, Kristin!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Ch%C3%A8vre
🙂 Kristin Espinasse with une brosse à dents in Paris catacombs could be a perfect séquelles to the absolutely hilarious Pierre Richard/Gérard Depardieu duet in La Chèvre.
🙂 I mean, c’mon, you’ve gotta be thAt unlucky!! :-).. A very good April’s 1st joke! Thank you, Kristin!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Ch%C3%A8vre
VERY cool – and such attention to detail – excellent
(but I wish it were actually true, if the punishment were only for an hour or two!!) xoxoxo
VERY cool – and such attention to detail – excellent
(but I wish it were actually true, if the punishment were only for an hour or two!!) xoxoxo
I am still mad and believe every word of the story. I dropped the F bomb on the berger and the loi and am still smarting and fache as h.//. If I had the time and monnaie yea I know that is wrong but I like it if IF I did I would fly over and serve the sentence with you. Poor old skeletons of the long forgotten. Sad sad mouton. Funny funny KE. I wanted very much to meet Jean Marc esp since I work in half the cities he attended. Howsome ever I was in Portland when he was in God knows where and in ManyApples when he waa in Iowa City one of my several alma mothers and so forth and so fifth. oh oh How did they get the flesh off the bones. That is worrying me. Love to you both and please live and write forever, treasure that you are.
I am still mad and believe every word of the story. I dropped the F bomb on the berger and the loi and am still smarting and fache as h.//. If I had the time and monnaie yea I know that is wrong but I like it if IF I did I would fly over and serve the sentence with you. Poor old skeletons of the long forgotten. Sad sad mouton. Funny funny KE. I wanted very much to meet Jean Marc esp since I work in half the cities he attended. Howsome ever I was in Portland when he was in God knows where and in ManyApples when he waa in Iowa City one of my several alma mothers and so forth and so fifth. oh oh How did they get the flesh off the bones. That is worrying me. Love to you both and please live and write forever, treasure that you are.
Forget the generic “oil”.
Olive oil. That’s the ticket. An ingredient in the Mediterranean diet, ensuring health (post facto);
Better yet, Bryl Cream (“a little dab will do ya”); but those souls are “done”, permanently . . .
Or use an unguent containing the drug, minoxidil so the skulls would sprout a full head of hair.
Whatever. Any of these would leave those crania as shiny as the scales of a fish. I really like the suggestion that you leave a note in the eye-sockets.
Mme. Espinasse. You have a diabolical mind. We love it!
Forget the generic “oil”.
Olive oil. That’s the ticket. An ingredient in the Mediterranean diet, ensuring health (post facto);
Better yet, Bryl Cream (“a little dab will do ya”); but those souls are “done”, permanently . . .
Or use an unguent containing the drug, minoxidil so the skulls would sprout a full head of hair.
Whatever. Any of these would leave those crania as shiny as the scales of a fish. I really like the suggestion that you leave a note in the eye-sockets.
Mme. Espinasse. You have a diabolical mind. We love it!