In case you ever wondered just who gets stuck cleaning the catacombs of Paris… (Photograph taken by Michael Reeve)
Very sorry for the hasty letter today (the sound file and "word of the day" will return–along with the regular edition–on Wednesday).
I'm in a hurry as I need to be in Paris by 9 a.m. for three days of community service. The local authorities contacted us last month after a disgruntled sheep farmer filed a complaint. Turns out we are being prosecuted for empoisonnement! (Remember the cool "punk rock shepherd"? Well he wasn't so cool after all as he is claiming his herd suffered from gastro-entérite–or le gastro–after grazing on our "contaminated" pasture.)
That the sheep all but trespassed onto OUR private property–to enjoy a free meal–doesn't seem to faze the police, who informed us that when we made the verbal agreement allowing the berger's sheep to feed on our land, we were unwittingly taking responsibility for their santé.
I am trying to see the good in this even if I am reluctant head out, now, for some punitive community service. The 8-hour chore I have been assigned is surreal: the cleaning of the catacombs, i.e. Paris's underground cemetery. It took me a moment to understand the punishment, because of the confusing French words and legalease, which were misleading and which read: le nettoyage de l'ossuaire municipal. ("Ossuaire" threw me, but I recognized the words municipale and nettoyage and so assumed I was assigned to clean the floor of Town Hall–and not a wall of skulls!)
The good news is the State is paying for my train ticket. All I am to do is to provide a personal scrub brush. (The municipal order that I received in the mail contained a small packing list: I am to bring my brosse à dents and a small flask of olive oil. A further note–an instruction, actually–states "une goutte par tête" or "one drop per skull"). I guess they'll fill me in on the rest (is the olive oil both a detergent and a polish?) once I get there.
Off now to catch the train in Marseilles. See you Wednesday…
Amicalement,
Kristin
P.S. If they think I'm bringing my own toothbrush–get out! I'm taking an extra of Jean-Marc's. He won't even know the difference–he's not back from the States yet (or else HE would have volunteered to take the punishment).
P.P.S. Even more surreal (humiliating, actually) is the uniform I have been assigned to wear. See it here along with a note, in the comments box, and I would love to know your opinion on this one!
Note: The good news is the sheep will survive the stomach attack or le gastro; because they are no longer fit to slaughter they will live out their days in a petting zoo, outside Toulon).
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In theme with my punishement, I'm pairing this edition with photos I've taken over the years… of locks or cadenas. This one, in St Paul Trois Chateau.
Locked up somewhere in Italy….
Locked up somewhere in Provence…
Locked up somewhere in Croatia…
Locked up somewhere in Paris… that would be me. On my way now, to the Catacombes de Paris. Don't forget to see what the uniform I've been assigned looks like, here.
Smokey Locksmith says: If you're ever feeling locked up I've got a key for you! To comment on any of the photos, or something in this edition, click here.
Forward this edition to an April Fool. xoxo, Kristi
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You got me for sure! This story was just bizarre enough to be true. ‘Reminded me of the strange and bureaucratic hoops we had to jump through just for a long-stay visa.
Masterful joke from a very creative writer.
You got me for sure! This story was just bizarre enough to be true. ‘Reminded me of the strange and bureaucratic hoops we had to jump through just for a long-stay visa.
Masterful joke from a very creative writer.
I completely believed it and sent it to everyone I knew before I figured out it was an April Fools Joke! Now I get to get all my friends with it too 🙂
I completely believed it and sent it to everyone I knew before I figured out it was an April Fools Joke! Now I get to get all my friends with it too 🙂
This was hilarious and really well done. We also have a property in France and have seen and heard many strange stories, so this all seemed plausible to me until I clicked to see the uniform. Great job!
This was hilarious and really well done. We also have a property in France and have seen and heard many strange stories, so this all seemed plausible to me until I clicked to see the uniform. Great job!
I believed you too! I was ready to tell my whole family this crazy story until I clicked on the uniform photo.
I believed you too! I was ready to tell my whole family this crazy story until I clicked on the uniform photo.
I, too, fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Ha, ha… well done!
I, too, fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Ha, ha… well done!
…. OMG!!! You really fooled me as well…. it seemed perfect plausible ! Brilliant! Have a super wonderful week and be careful what you believe! Best wishes, and a belated Joyeuses Paques! Judi Dunn, Tallahassee, Fl.
…. OMG!!! You really fooled me as well…. it seemed perfect plausible ! Brilliant! Have a super wonderful week and be careful what you believe! Best wishes, and a belated Joyeuses Paques! Judi Dunn, Tallahassee, Fl.
French bureaucracy being what it is, this was truly believable. You got us all this time. Great job!
French bureaucracy being what it is, this was truly believable. You got us all this time. Great job!
Oh that was good! I fell for it. Gullible is my middle name. 😀
Oh that was good! I fell for it. Gullible is my middle name. 😀
I thought, “How lucky she is to be able to run off to Paris” even though for such a terrible task.
You got me! And thank you – so few people honor April’s Fool Day anymore. I love it!
I thought, “How lucky she is to be able to run off to Paris” even though for such a terrible task.
You got me! And thank you – so few people honor April’s Fool Day anymore. I love it!
I’d rather be an April in Paris than an April in Fool!
I’d rather be an April in Paris than an April in Fool!
Kristin
Will stop laughing long enough at your story of potentially back-breaking skullery to say:
Je suis une victime sans méfiance d’un poisson d’avril.
Forgive my French, but that was the best “gotcha” in a very long time.
In uproarious laughter and mille mercis
Beinvenue à avril,
Ronni
Kristin
Will stop laughing long enough at your story of potentially back-breaking skullery to say:
Je suis une victime sans méfiance d’un poisson d’avril.
Forgive my French, but that was the best “gotcha” in a very long time.
In uproarious laughter and mille mercis
Beinvenue à avril,
Ronni
You got me, too.
I was about to write back and comment on ‘Liberté, Egalité & Fraternité’ but then I realised that you might have joined the sheep and eaten (or smoked) some of the same grass or herbs yourself! 😉
You got me, too.
I was about to write back and comment on ‘Liberté, Egalité & Fraternité’ but then I realised that you might have joined the sheep and eaten (or smoked) some of the same grass or herbs yourself! 😉
I fell for it, too! I thought, how crazy of the French system to actually BUY you a ticket so that they can punish you in Paris. This was surely your most creative episode yet! Kudos on having “gotten” us all.
I fell for it, too! I thought, how crazy of the French system to actually BUY you a ticket so that they can punish you in Paris. This was surely your most creative episode yet! Kudos on having “gotten” us all.
Got me! Happy April Fool’s Day to all of you too!
Got me! Happy April Fool’s Day to all of you too!
Oh, my stars! Good on you!
Oh course I fell for it and thought what a great experience she will have at the cost of the French government. However, I thought the sheperd was a rat! Oh well, thanks for the morning laugh.
Anne
Oh, my stars! Good on you!
Oh course I fell for it and thought what a great experience she will have at the cost of the French government. However, I thought the sheperd was a rat! Oh well, thanks for the morning laugh.
Anne
You got me! Happy April Fools! The Washington Post fooled me as well today! http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/going-underground-to-see-a-remnant-of-dcs-history/2013/03/31/eff96dc8-9318-11e2-a31e-14700e2724e4_story.html
You got me! Happy April Fools! The Washington Post fooled me as well today! http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/going-underground-to-see-a-remnant-of-dcs-history/2013/03/31/eff96dc8-9318-11e2-a31e-14700e2724e4_story.html
Oh…..I got sucked right in! lol
Just wanted to say that I have recently discovered this blog and am currently reading your Words in a French Life and loving it! 🙂
Most wondrous April Fool……and there I was, feeling terribly jealous that you got to go to Paris and the catacombs! 🙂
Have a wonderful day…..I look forward to following you!
Mimi
The Goat Borrower
Oh…..I got sucked right in! lol
Just wanted to say that I have recently discovered this blog and am currently reading your Words in a French Life and loving it! 🙂
Most wondrous April Fool……and there I was, feeling terribly jealous that you got to go to Paris and the catacombs! 🙂
Have a wonderful day…..I look forward to following you!
Mimi
The Goat Borrower
Oh my. You got me, too. I was worried for the sheep and shuddering for you down in the catacombs with a toothbrush. What an imagination! Loved your Mom’s comment.
Oh my. You got me, too. I was worried for the sheep and shuddering for you down in the catacombs with a toothbrush. What an imagination! Loved your Mom’s comment.
Kristin:
C’est une drole histoire!
It sounded strange enough to be true.
Happy April Fool’s Day indeed!
Edie from Savannah
Kristin:
C’est une drole histoire!
It sounded strange enough to be true.
Happy April Fool’s Day indeed!
Edie from Savannah
C’etait un grand poisson!
C’etait un grand poisson!
..and you should have said..’and they were putting me up at Le Meurice for a place to stay.
hahaha how typically french! happy april 1st to you and to our red-caped lady in mexico.
and since you made me laugh so hard I am sening you dinner from Taco Bell.
..and you should have said..’and they were putting me up at Le Meurice for a place to stay.
hahaha how typically french! happy april 1st to you and to our red-caped lady in mexico.
and since you made me laugh so hard I am sening you dinner from Taco Bell.
Forgetting the date today, I was so shocked and indignant at such a punishment for you! No inkling of a trick in my mind!
You are BAD!!
Thanks for the fun!!!
Forgetting the date today, I was so shocked and indignant at such a punishment for you! No inkling of a trick in my mind!
You are BAD!!
Thanks for the fun!!!
EXCELLENT “gotcha” LOL
EXCELLENT “gotcha” LOL
I was just about to shout out to my husband in the next room, “You won’t believe what happened to Kristi,” when I suddenly remembered today’s date! You are good! We just started reading your second book.
I was just about to shout out to my husband in the next room, “You won’t believe what happened to Kristi,” when I suddenly remembered today’s date! You are good! We just started reading your second book.
Haha! And I was so outraged on your behalf too! (Now, readers, how are we going to get even with this trickster next year?)
Haha! And I was so outraged on your behalf too! (Now, readers, how are we going to get even with this trickster next year?)