Best tips for speaking in public–share them (or see them) here in the comments box and help those who plan to give a speech in the coming year!
Photo, above: A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to talk at Shakespeare and Company bookshop in Paris, in 2010. See the right-hand corner of the screen, where the video camera captured a part of the speaker. The video follows, after today's story column.
Today's word: parler en public
: to speak in public
Audio file: listen to Jean-Marc read the French words, below Download MP3 or Wav file
La bouche sèche, les mains moites, des sueurs froides, et la voix coincée ou les balbutiements–le trou de mémoire–adieu, maintenant, la peur de parler en public! Dry mouth, clammy hands, cold sweats, the voice that's stuck or stammering–the mind that draws a blank–good riddance, now, to the fear of public speaking!
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE… by Kristin Espinasse
Reader Debbie Ambrous wrote with good news: after publishing her first book A French Opportunity (available in paperback or Kindle), she will present it to a live audience! Only, like 99 percent of the population, Debbie is uncertain about her upcoming presentation. In her email, she asks if I have any tips for her presentation?
As someone who has passed out (twice) before a live audience I'm not sure I'm the one to answer Debbie's question. So I am asking readers, now, to please share helpful public speaking tips–and pointers on how to organize and prepare for an upcoming talk–here. Meantime, I will tell you about a very positive public speaking experience with you. The following story was written three years ago….
* * *
Désaxé refers to a "mentally disoriented" person. It also means off-centered. I might have been both on Monday night, while speaking before an audience in Paris. Instead, I did not feel the familiar disorientation, at least not mentally. There was calm, peace, and deliverance on the day of my discours.
Oh to be delivered from the chains that bind us! Troubled and tortured no more! Free to enjoy daily life without the nagging nerves that keep us from the present moment, detached from those oft-crossed connections that cry feed me, fill me, comfort the out-of-control me.
By grace I have been set free in other areas of my life and so recognized the miracle on Monday night. And it didn't even matter that my body trailed behind, still smarting from injuries of times past. As my skin sweat, as my nose ran, as my hands searched for a place to rest behind the mic and the brightly lit stand… my mind juggled, with ease, enough inner conversations to amuse even Docteur Freud et Cie.
There, in a second story arrière boutique packed with books and book lovers, I stood. My back to Notre Dame, which lit the rippling River Seine below, I looked out over the hushed room, far as my blurry eyes could see. That is when that proverbial pin dropped, giving volume and clarity to the clatter of voices within me.
Untroubled yet astonished by the mind's ability to juggle, I listened to the handful of conversations in my head… and marveled at how words marched out of my mouth, by memory.
As my speech continued to deliver itself I tuned in, now and then, to the other speakers within. One of them was saying: You need to wipe your nose. In about thirty seconds it will drip, you have another twenty seconds to talk, but, I'm warning you, get ready to pull out that Kleenex in your pocket.
Another voice, busy taking account of the number of frozen faces in the room, went like this: they look so serious. They may be bored. Yes, the audience looks bored! Get ready to bifurcate at the next paragraph… Lighten up, speed up, or perhaps a joke? No, don't take the risk. Steady goes…
Meantime, the first voice reminded, Okay, time now to search for that Kleenex. Perhaps you can turn your head, toward Notre Dame? No, that would be even more conspicuous. Why not use your scarf? Just act as if you are drying your sweaty brow.
A third voice suggested: Indeed, you are going to look very bad wiping your nose. This voice was dismissed by another, which argued, You'll be horrified if it drips! It is okay to wipe your nose.Blow it if you have to!
While one voice monitored my vital signs and another, my speech—getting all my memorized points across to the audience, a fourth voice monitored the obstacle course beneath me: Careful not to trip over the mic cord, it said. Keep your lips close to the mic, but don't burn your chin on the light bulb, just beneath.
If the look on my face was one of amusement and delight, the video camera (there on a bookshelf to my right) was sure to be capturing it all. I would later learn that the captured image was completely désaxé (with the sweaty speaker all the way to the right of the screen. Looking at her, I watch her wipe her brow, her nose. I watch as she runs her hand through her hair. I watch as she takes in a deep breath before stepping up to the mic, at which point she nearly steps off screen. It doesn't matter that her body has not yet caught up with her mind. Off-centered or désaxé, she is doing, after all, just fine.
***
(The following clip begins with an explanation on how I managed to book a talk at the famous Parisian bookstore…. If you cannot see the video, below, click over to the blog to view it. )
Related stories:
"Ange" – about George Whitman's passing, and meeting this beloved character for the first time.
Jean-Marc and I are hosting the AMA Waterways Paris to Normandy cruise on this ship, the Amalegro. More information on this November getaway, here in this brochure.
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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Toastmasters International! It is by far the best way to work on public speaking skills. Plus you get to meet great people who are willing to share & help you. It is amazing the difference in made in my life. I recommend it to everyone.
Toastmasters International! It is by far the best way to work on public speaking skills. Plus you get to meet great people who are willing to share & help you. It is amazing the difference in made in my life. I recommend it to everyone.
After spending forty years in college classroom teaching, I would say that the first and perhaps most important suggestion for public speaking is organization and preparation as well as knowledge of your subject. Preparation and knowledge produce confidence. Then practice, practice, practice.
After spending forty years in college classroom teaching, I would say that the first and perhaps most important suggestion for public speaking is organization and preparation as well as knowledge of your subject. Preparation and knowledge produce confidence. Then practice, practice, practice.
Prepare, prepare, prepare.
Practice, time it, get feedback from others, or use a tape recorder (or equivalent) to check yourself. Have a good opening line.
My last step was always to get a nice outfit, so I was free to focus on the talk.
Prepare, prepare, prepare.
Practice, time it, get feedback from others, or use a tape recorder (or equivalent) to check yourself. Have a good opening line.
My last step was always to get a nice outfit, so I was free to focus on the talk.
Thirty years in the classroom and speaking on various subjects to large numbers of both students and, from time to time, their parents, provided me with enriching experiences, both in preparation and delivery. Always at the back of my mind was the thought that each person in the audience believes that you are only speaking to them, so it is like speaking one-to-one and therefore less daunting!
Thirty years in the classroom and speaking on various subjects to large numbers of both students and, from time to time, their parents, provided me with enriching experiences, both in preparation and delivery. Always at the back of my mind was the thought that each person in the audience believes that you are only speaking to them, so it is like speaking one-to-one and therefore less daunting!
Bonjour Kristi,
I was there at your presentation at Shakespeare & Co!! Has it really been 3 years? I had arrived early and was up front. That was good because it was a packed house. You were engaging, entertaining and your words came from your heart. It didn’t matter to me if you messed with your hair or used a kleenex – your words had all of my attention!
Keep the video’s coming please!
Amicalement,
Tish from Powhatan VA
Bonjour Kristi,
I was there at your presentation at Shakespeare & Co!! Has it really been 3 years? I had arrived early and was up front. That was good because it was a packed house. You were engaging, entertaining and your words came from your heart. It didn’t matter to me if you messed with your hair or used a kleenex – your words had all of my attention!
Keep the video’s coming please!
Amicalement,
Tish from Powhatan VA
Remember that no-one in the audience wants you to fail they are all on your side. Look around the room at individuals. Remember to smile – and breath!
Remember that no-one in the audience wants you to fail they are all on your side. Look around the room at individuals. Remember to smile – and breath!
Thank you for getting these tips up and getting the conversation going! Tish, I remember your warm greeting, which was reassuring and so appreciated. Thank you for your words about the talk… Hard to believe three years have passed.
Thank you for getting these tips up and getting the conversation going! Tish, I remember your warm greeting, which was reassuring and so appreciated. Thank you for your words about the talk… Hard to believe three years have passed.
Preparation is key. I also like to think that a recipe for a great talk combines the 3 ‘E’s – one is eager, has earned the right to be there, and enthusiastic.
Preparation is key. I also like to think that a recipe for a great talk combines the 3 ‘E’s – one is eager, has earned the right to be there, and enthusiastic.
brava, Kristi — loved your talk. You were delightful.
brava, Kristi — loved your talk. You were delightful.
I like to wear my reading glasses, not my bifocals. That way when I look out at the audience, all I see is a sea of face-shaped blurs. It helps me a lot! Also I try to go slowly since I know I tend to speed up when I’m nervous.
I like to wear my reading glasses, not my bifocals. That way when I look out at the audience, all I see is a sea of face-shaped blurs. It helps me a lot! Also I try to go slowly since I know I tend to speed up when I’m nervous.
I’m taking these suggestions to heart and appreciate everyone of them. Thanks to Sarah I even have a good excuse to buy a new outfit! Kristin, you are wonderful for helping me like this! I agree with the others that I would be extremely happy to hear you speak. I will remember to bring tissues. Thank you, Kristin!!!!
Debbie Ambrous
http://www.AFrenchOpportunity.com
I’m taking these suggestions to heart and appreciate everyone of them. Thanks to Sarah I even have a good excuse to buy a new outfit! Kristin, you are wonderful for helping me like this! I agree with the others that I would be extremely happy to hear you speak. I will remember to bring tissues. Thank you, Kristin!!!!
Debbie Ambrous
http://www.AFrenchOpportunity.com
Remember, no one else in the room knows exactly what you plan to say or how you plan to say it. So just take a deep breath and know you are not a slave to your script. Your words will sound fresher, you will appear relaxed, and your audience will feel more interested and engaged too.
Remember, no one else in the room knows exactly what you plan to say or how you plan to say it. So just take a deep breath and know you are not a slave to your script. Your words will sound fresher, you will appear relaxed, and your audience will feel more interested and engaged too.
I always try to get into the space before I have to speak just to get a feel for the room if possible. Make eye contact with the audience. I also like to move about the stage a bit as it feels appropriate.
Timothy
I always try to get into the space before I have to speak just to get a feel for the room if possible. Make eye contact with the audience. I also like to move about the stage a bit as it feels appropriate.
Timothy
Chere Kristi, I remember that talk and you never, ever would have guessed you were nervous. So not only are you a great speaker, you are also a superb actress. What I remember so fondly, though, was you and Jean-Marc staying with me at our Paris apartment and the two of us going around Paris together to your various appointments. Most of all I miss seing and beith with the two of you and our Paris apartment (which we’ve since sold) terribly. I miss the memories but at least I have those. Love you, xx R
Chere Kristi, I remember that talk and you never, ever would have guessed you were nervous. So not only are you a great speaker, you are also a superb actress. What I remember so fondly, though, was you and Jean-Marc staying with me at our Paris apartment and the two of us going around Paris together to your various appointments. Most of all I miss seing and beith with the two of you and our Paris apartment (which we’ve since sold) terribly. I miss the memories but at least I have those. Love you, xx R
Speaking in public is like getting to Carnegie Hall: Practice! Do it over and over, with an “audience” of someone you trust, until you no longer feel silly or embarrassed or afraid. This DOES feel silly, guaranteed, but it works.
Speaking in public is like getting to Carnegie Hall: Practice! Do it over and over, with an “audience” of someone you trust, until you no longer feel silly or embarrassed or afraid. This DOES feel silly, guaranteed, but it works.
Way back in the 60’s I knew I wanted to be a middle school/high school classroom teacher … but it took me until my third year in college (and then only in summer school when I wouldn’t really know anyone … and they wouldn’t know me!) until I could get up enough nerve to take the required class in public speaking – talk about shy! The class totally changed my attitude – something about it. I think it was simply that everyone was encouraging each other … and the topics were something that related to us personally.
Being prepared is key; knowing that everyone is rooting for you to do well – generally if you’re speaking to a group of people, they are there because they have like-minded passions and are genuinely interested. Be yourself, know that people enjoy humor and human interest stories mixed in with the data presented. When I am writing out a speech, I make sure that I read it aloud as I go along to ascertain it is my ‘voice’.
Okay I go on way too long … my husband had a “Six Ps Philosophy” – Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance (sorry about the vocabulary, but it gets the point across). That’s basically it in a nutshell.
Way back in the 60’s I knew I wanted to be a middle school/high school classroom teacher … but it took me until my third year in college (and then only in summer school when I wouldn’t really know anyone … and they wouldn’t know me!) until I could get up enough nerve to take the required class in public speaking – talk about shy! The class totally changed my attitude – something about it. I think it was simply that everyone was encouraging each other … and the topics were something that related to us personally.
Being prepared is key; knowing that everyone is rooting for you to do well – generally if you’re speaking to a group of people, they are there because they have like-minded passions and are genuinely interested. Be yourself, know that people enjoy humor and human interest stories mixed in with the data presented. When I am writing out a speech, I make sure that I read it aloud as I go along to ascertain it is my ‘voice’.
Okay I go on way too long … my husband had a “Six Ps Philosophy” – Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance (sorry about the vocabulary, but it gets the point across). That’s basically it in a nutshell.
Bonjour Kristi and others,
Monster.com just had an article on public speaking today (see link below).
In addition to their advice, I also believe that my presentation begins the moment people start entering the room; so, even if I’m still setting up, I stop what I’m doing and greet each person (if possible). That way I establish a relationship with the audience members so that when I begin my formal presentation, I am speaking to people I have already met! Definitely helps with nervousness!! This applies even if things are falling apart (A/V not working, materials not ready, etc.) I just try to act as if everything is fine. The rest generally takes care of itself.
Here is the link to the Monster article.
http://career-advice.monster.com/career-development/education-training/8-ways-to-improve-public-speaking/article.aspx?wt.mc_n=CRMUS001648
Bonjour Kristi and others,
Monster.com just had an article on public speaking today (see link below).
In addition to their advice, I also believe that my presentation begins the moment people start entering the room; so, even if I’m still setting up, I stop what I’m doing and greet each person (if possible). That way I establish a relationship with the audience members so that when I begin my formal presentation, I am speaking to people I have already met! Definitely helps with nervousness!! This applies even if things are falling apart (A/V not working, materials not ready, etc.) I just try to act as if everything is fine. The rest generally takes care of itself.
Here is the link to the Monster article.
http://career-advice.monster.com/career-development/education-training/8-ways-to-improve-public-speaking/article.aspx?wt.mc_n=CRMUS001648
As an attorney who has been engaged in public speaking for well over a decade, I still get butterflies sometimes and I’m my own worst critic. It must have been an amazing opportunity to speak at this famed bookstore where Hemingway, Stein, and Fitzgerald congregated. Thanks for another amazing post.
Marilyn
Orlando
As an attorney who has been engaged in public speaking for well over a decade, I still get butterflies sometimes and I’m my own worst critic. It must have been an amazing opportunity to speak at this famed bookstore where Hemingway, Stein, and Fitzgerald congregated. Thanks for another amazing post.
Marilyn
Orlando
Imagine you are speaking with a group of friends who only think the best of you and only want the best for you. Don’t be afraid to be human, everyone listening to you is also human; evidence of that commonality is not only forgiven, it’s welcomed – if you make a mistake, or bumble a bit, so what? Simply carry on with good humor. The smallest bit of wine beforehand, no more than half a (small) glass, to calm your nerves.
Imagine you are speaking with a group of friends who only think the best of you and only want the best for you. Don’t be afraid to be human, everyone listening to you is also human; evidence of that commonality is not only forgiven, it’s welcomed – if you make a mistake, or bumble a bit, so what? Simply carry on with good humor. The smallest bit of wine beforehand, no more than half a (small) glass, to calm your nerves.
Kristin,
I, too, was there that evening and I agree with Robin that none of us knew how nervous you were! I’m sure that all of us were excited to see/hear someone we felt we knew speak in that wonderful upstairs room! It was a priviledge for us as well. It was an evening I will never forget. And a bonus was meeting Ann Mah who sat knee to knee with me!
Kristin,
I, too, was there that evening and I agree with Robin that none of us knew how nervous you were! I’m sure that all of us were excited to see/hear someone we felt we knew speak in that wonderful upstairs room! It was a priviledge for us as well. It was an evening I will never forget. And a bonus was meeting Ann Mah who sat knee to knee with me!
Hi Kristi: I’ve also taught for many years, often in front of classes of 100 or more, and endorse the comments above which suggest preparation. Don’t necessarily rely on being glib and spontaneous. Even if you are ordinarily so, it may fail you. I’ve also learned to ignore the “frowners.” There always seems to be at least one person in a large audience who appears to be unhappy with you. I disregard their expressions, figuring they have an intestinal disorder or some personal problem they’re contemplating. You appear very poised and spontaneous. Nice talk.
Hi Kristi: I’ve also taught for many years, often in front of classes of 100 or more, and endorse the comments above which suggest preparation. Don’t necessarily rely on being glib and spontaneous. Even if you are ordinarily so, it may fail you. I’ve also learned to ignore the “frowners.” There always seems to be at least one person in a large audience who appears to be unhappy with you. I disregard their expressions, figuring they have an intestinal disorder or some personal problem they’re contemplating. You appear very poised and spontaneous. Nice talk.
Kristi,
Your speaking to a group is a loving gift of giving of your talent from your heart.
I have been a professional lecturer and teacher. My nerves were settled by thinking of the audience as ‘one body’. This body is receiving your care and generosity and returns your love with love. Suddenly, there is no reason for fear or nerves. Peace is the result.
Marsha in Palm Springs.
Kristi,
Your speaking to a group is a loving gift of giving of your talent from your heart.
I have been a professional lecturer and teacher. My nerves were settled by thinking of the audience as ‘one body’. This body is receiving your care and generosity and returns your love with love. Suddenly, there is no reason for fear or nerves. Peace is the result.
Marsha in Palm Springs.
Relax. When you speak about something that you are knowledgeable and passionate about, it is easy and fun! Relax. Your audience is not judging you, they are there to hear what you have to say and to learn from you. Relax and enjoy the process. (This is from a woman who flunked English 1A the first time around because she refused to get up in front of the class. Now she speaks to auditoriums full of people.) Relax.
Relax. When you speak about something that you are knowledgeable and passionate about, it is easy and fun! Relax. Your audience is not judging you, they are there to hear what you have to say and to learn from you. Relax and enjoy the process. (This is from a woman who flunked English 1A the first time around because she refused to get up in front of the class. Now she speaks to auditoriums full of people.) Relax.
As a recently retired teacher I can only suggest what I would tell my students. That is, take a minute to make eye contact with your audience (wait time), not a prolonged stare, but an acknowledgement that they have assembled to listen to you. Breathe, relax if possible and speak slowly, as anytime we speak slowly what we have to say seems more profound. Imagine you are standing there 3 inches taller wearing the outfit of your dreams (2 sizes smaller) and say what you have come to say. Smile often, look confident because you have practiced this ad nauseum, right? Best of luck to you. Public speaking is easy once you have conquered the fear!
As a recently retired teacher I can only suggest what I would tell my students. That is, take a minute to make eye contact with your audience (wait time), not a prolonged stare, but an acknowledgement that they have assembled to listen to you. Breathe, relax if possible and speak slowly, as anytime we speak slowly what we have to say seems more profound. Imagine you are standing there 3 inches taller wearing the outfit of your dreams (2 sizes smaller) and say what you have come to say. Smile often, look confident because you have practiced this ad nauseum, right? Best of luck to you. Public speaking is easy once you have conquered the fear!
Cheryl and Robin, loved reading your memories of this talk. Thank you for mentionning Ann — it is thanks to Ann (Annmah.net), who found my blog and sent a note to Simon and Schuster…
After reading all these tips… how many are itching to get a speaking gig? I know I am!! It has been a while since I have spoken to an audience. The next time will be in November, on the river cruise I am hosting! The doubts are already creeping in… but I know better, now, than to listen to them!
Cheryl and Robin, loved reading your memories of this talk. Thank you for mentionning Ann — it is thanks to Ann (Annmah.net), who found my blog and sent a note to Simon and Schuster…
After reading all these tips… how many are itching to get a speaking gig? I know I am!! It has been a while since I have spoken to an audience. The next time will be in November, on the river cruise I am hosting! The doubts are already creeping in… but I know better, now, than to listen to them!