Best tips for speaking in public–share them (or see them) here in the comments box and help those who plan to give a speech in the coming year!
Photo, above: A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to talk at Shakespeare and Company bookshop in Paris, in 2010. See the right-hand corner of the screen, where the video camera captured a part of the speaker. The video follows, after today's story column.
Today's word: parler en public
: to speak in public
Audio file: listen to Jean-Marc read the French words, below Download MP3 or Wav file
La bouche sèche, les mains moites, des sueurs froides, et la voix coincée ou les balbutiements–le trou de mémoire–adieu, maintenant, la peur de parler en public! Dry mouth, clammy hands, cold sweats, the voice that's stuck or stammering–the mind that draws a blank–good riddance, now, to the fear of public speaking!
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE… by Kristin Espinasse
Reader Debbie Ambrous wrote with good news: after publishing her first book A French Opportunity (available in paperback or Kindle), she will present it to a live audience! Only, like 99 percent of the population, Debbie is uncertain about her upcoming presentation. In her email, she asks if I have any tips for her presentation?
As someone who has passed out (twice) before a live audience I'm not sure I'm the one to answer Debbie's question. So I am asking readers, now, to please share helpful public speaking tips–and pointers on how to organize and prepare for an upcoming talk–here. Meantime, I will tell you about a very positive public speaking experience with you. The following story was written three years ago….
* * *
Désaxé refers to a "mentally disoriented" person. It also means off-centered. I might have been both on Monday night, while speaking before an audience in Paris. Instead, I did not feel the familiar disorientation, at least not mentally. There was calm, peace, and deliverance on the day of my discours.
Oh to be delivered from the chains that bind us! Troubled and tortured no more! Free to enjoy daily life without the nagging nerves that keep us from the present moment, detached from those oft-crossed connections that cry feed me, fill me, comfort the out-of-control me.
By grace I have been set free in other areas of my life and so recognized the miracle on Monday night. And it didn't even matter that my body trailed behind, still smarting from injuries of times past. As my skin sweat, as my nose ran, as my hands searched for a place to rest behind the mic and the brightly lit stand… my mind juggled, with ease, enough inner conversations to amuse even Docteur Freud et Cie.
There, in a second story arrière boutique packed with books and book lovers, I stood. My back to Notre Dame, which lit the rippling River Seine below, I looked out over the hushed room, far as my blurry eyes could see. That is when that proverbial pin dropped, giving volume and clarity to the clatter of voices within me.
Untroubled yet astonished by the mind's ability to juggle, I listened to the handful of conversations in my head… and marveled at how words marched out of my mouth, by memory.
As my speech continued to deliver itself I tuned in, now and then, to the other speakers within. One of them was saying: You need to wipe your nose. In about thirty seconds it will drip, you have another twenty seconds to talk, but, I'm warning you, get ready to pull out that Kleenex in your pocket.
Another voice, busy taking account of the number of frozen faces in the room, went like this: they look so serious. They may be bored. Yes, the audience looks bored! Get ready to bifurcate at the next paragraph… Lighten up, speed up, or perhaps a joke? No, don't take the risk. Steady goes…
Meantime, the first voice reminded, Okay, time now to search for that Kleenex. Perhaps you can turn your head, toward Notre Dame? No, that would be even more conspicuous. Why not use your scarf? Just act as if you are drying your sweaty brow.
A third voice suggested: Indeed, you are going to look very bad wiping your nose. This voice was dismissed by another, which argued, You'll be horrified if it drips! It is okay to wipe your nose.Blow it if you have to!
While one voice monitored my vital signs and another, my speech—getting all my memorized points across to the audience, a fourth voice monitored the obstacle course beneath me: Careful not to trip over the mic cord, it said. Keep your lips close to the mic, but don't burn your chin on the light bulb, just beneath.
If the look on my face was one of amusement and delight, the video camera (there on a bookshelf to my right) was sure to be capturing it all. I would later learn that the captured image was completely désaxé (with the sweaty speaker all the way to the right of the screen. Looking at her, I watch her wipe her brow, her nose. I watch as she runs her hand through her hair. I watch as she takes in a deep breath before stepping up to the mic, at which point she nearly steps off screen. It doesn't matter that her body has not yet caught up with her mind. Off-centered or désaxé, she is doing, after all, just fine.
***
(The following clip begins with an explanation on how I managed to book a talk at the famous Parisian bookstore…. If you cannot see the video, below, click over to the blog to view it. )
Related stories:
"Ange" – about George Whitman's passing, and meeting this beloved character for the first time.
Jean-Marc and I are hosting the AMA Waterways Paris to Normandy cruise on this ship, the Amalegro. More information on this November getaway, here in this brochure.
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Get into a comfortable position and take a deep breath before you start to talk. Tuck your chin down a bit if you tend to get squeaky–somehow your voice has to be normal in this position. And then slow down. What you think is a long pause doesn’t seem like much to the audience.
Best of all, think of the energy you feel as excitement, not nerves.
Get into a comfortable position and take a deep breath before you start to talk. Tuck your chin down a bit if you tend to get squeaky–somehow your voice has to be normal in this position. And then slow down. What you think is a long pause doesn’t seem like much to the audience.
Best of all, think of the energy you feel as excitement, not nerves.
Kristin, You really are a natural once you get warmed up…You have a wonderful sense of humor which is endearing and helps to relax your audience. This is not toastmasters, but a small intimate group of like minded people, who are interested in your content and suggestions, and are less apt to hear what you may consider errors in your speaking abilities! I loved you piece and think as you have further opportunities, you will become more confident!
Kristin, You really are a natural once you get warmed up…You have a wonderful sense of humor which is endearing and helps to relax your audience. This is not toastmasters, but a small intimate group of like minded people, who are interested in your content and suggestions, and are less apt to hear what you may consider errors in your speaking abilities! I loved you piece and think as you have further opportunities, you will become more confident!
I trust you’ve spoken already. But, for next time. I will share a bit from one of my favorite professors. First, the audience doesn’t know what you’ve forgotten; they know only what your remember. Whatever you speak about, always speak with great passion, sincerity and from the heart. It’s about them and not about you. Find a face and speak to that one. Even if their ‘visage’ blurs as you talk, smile and speak to that one. As you gain confidence shift to another ‘one’. And, so on. Most of all, never be afraid to stand before the audience in silence to collect your thoughts and your nerves. YOu are a star!
I trust you’ve spoken already. But, for next time. I will share a bit from one of my favorite professors. First, the audience doesn’t know what you’ve forgotten; they know only what your remember. Whatever you speak about, always speak with great passion, sincerity and from the heart. It’s about them and not about you. Find a face and speak to that one. Even if their ‘visage’ blurs as you talk, smile and speak to that one. As you gain confidence shift to another ‘one’. And, so on. Most of all, never be afraid to stand before the audience in silence to collect your thoughts and your nerves. YOu are a star!
As a wine and spirits educator, I have spent many years speaking to groups of all sizes. Do I still get nervous? You bet! It helps that I am passionate about my subject, well-informed, and I try to get my audience involved at several points in the talk.
My best tips:
1) Take lots of deep breaths and do some neck rolls (in private) before getting on stage.
2) Prepare well, then go with the flow. I’m often inspired to go off on a tangent based on the interests of the audience, and as long as I don’t stray too far from the key points of my talk, I think the spontaneity keeps the audience engaged.
3) Never beat yourself up for forgetting something. No one but you knows what you intended to say.
4) Connect with people to your right, left, and center, in the front and in the back of the audience. But don’t look like you’re watching a tennis match!
5) Try to wear comfortable clothes and shoes. If your feet hurt, you may end up shifting constantly from foot to foot, which looks rather odd!
As a wine and spirits educator, I have spent many years speaking to groups of all sizes. Do I still get nervous? You bet! It helps that I am passionate about my subject, well-informed, and I try to get my audience involved at several points in the talk.
My best tips:
1) Take lots of deep breaths and do some neck rolls (in private) before getting on stage.
2) Prepare well, then go with the flow. I’m often inspired to go off on a tangent based on the interests of the audience, and as long as I don’t stray too far from the key points of my talk, I think the spontaneity keeps the audience engaged.
3) Never beat yourself up for forgetting something. No one but you knows what you intended to say.
4) Connect with people to your right, left, and center, in the front and in the back of the audience. But don’t look like you’re watching a tennis match!
5) Try to wear comfortable clothes and shoes. If your feet hurt, you may end up shifting constantly from foot to foot, which looks rather odd!
Great tips, Sharona! Ill add another suggestion — have someone film your talk. Even if you cannot (do not wish to) view the footage right away, it may be useful or helpful in the future. I am just now going over the footage from this talk, though it happened three years ago! We become less critical of ourselves as time passes.
Great tips, Sharona! Ill add another suggestion — have someone film your talk. Even if you cannot (do not wish to) view the footage right away, it may be useful or helpful in the future. I am just now going over the footage from this talk, though it happened three years ago! We become less critical of ourselves as time passes.
I suppose that I know most of these tips. Now it is a matter of putting them into practice, getting down to work and putting aside worries of my inadequacy compared to the other speakers. The other lineup of speakers are Kobe steak, and I am sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping. It’s time for me to find the right ingredients to make my presentation tasty and enjoyable. Hopefully, someone will want my recipe in the future. Kristin, thank you from the bottom of my Alabama heart for this wonderful surprise! A special thanks to the generous people who have given encouragement to me and shared their recipe of success. Thanks to those who bought my book and subscribed at my website. Ya’ll are such lovely people!
Debbie Ambrous
http://www.AFrenchOpportunity.com
I suppose that I know most of these tips. Now it is a matter of putting them into practice, getting down to work and putting aside worries of my inadequacy compared to the other speakers. The other lineup of speakers are Kobe steak, and I am sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping. It’s time for me to find the right ingredients to make my presentation tasty and enjoyable. Hopefully, someone will want my recipe in the future. Kristin, thank you from the bottom of my Alabama heart for this wonderful surprise! A special thanks to the generous people who have given encouragement to me and shared their recipe of success. Thanks to those who bought my book and subscribed at my website. Ya’ll are such lovely people!
Debbie Ambrous
http://www.AFrenchOpportunity.com
Kristi,
What happened to the “Recent Posts” in the right side of the page? It was so convenient to go there when desired to repeat or refresh any previous words, expressions or topics? How and where can we reach it now? Thanks.
Kristi,
What happened to the “Recent Posts” in the right side of the page? It was so convenient to go there when desired to repeat or refresh any previous words, expressions or topics? How and where can we reach it now? Thanks.
Sorry, I know I am always late to this post, but I want to pass along this advice. I taught 7th through 9th graders speech for several years in addition to English, and many of my students who stayed in touch over the years told me that this helped them most. Pick three people in different parts of the room to look in the eye as you are giving your speech. If one of them seems bored/inattentive look for someone else. People who are not listening will only distract you from your thoughts. People who are listening will give you feed back with their eyes. Good luck.
Sorry, I know I am always late to this post, but I want to pass along this advice. I taught 7th through 9th graders speech for several years in addition to English, and many of my students who stayed in touch over the years told me that this helped them most. Pick three people in different parts of the room to look in the eye as you are giving your speech. If one of them seems bored/inattentive look for someone else. People who are not listening will only distract you from your thoughts. People who are listening will give you feed back with their eyes. Good luck.
Becky, That is so true: focus on the comfort of the audience! I remember giving myself a pep talk about this very topic, realizing how important it is that the audience not feel stressed for the speaker, on top of things! (The thing is to not get stressed about not wanting to stress the audience… 🙂 Seriously, though, this is a valuable and key tool. Glad you brought it up!
Becky, That is so true: focus on the comfort of the audience! I remember giving myself a pep talk about this very topic, realizing how important it is that the audience not feel stressed for the speaker, on top of things! (The thing is to not get stressed about not wanting to stress the audience… 🙂 Seriously, though, this is a valuable and key tool. Glad you brought it up!
For speeches with no visuals, I write out the entire talk–and then seldom need to turn the page, secure in the knowledge that there it is!
Early in my career, I spoke on the telephone with a woman who said she was looking forward to my talk the next day. Great,I thought,I’ll focus on Lorraine. So of course my boss sat down right behind her . . . on to Plan B.
And speaking of plan B: The VERY WORST is depending on visuals (via Internet or PowerPoint) and then having equipment failure. In case of Internet failure, have a PowerPoint with screen shots of at least some of what you hope to show live. A USB drive can be your rescue.
Remembering that your audience ASSUMES you are knowledgeable and interesting. They are already inclined to like you or they wouldn’t be there.
For speeches with no visuals, I write out the entire talk–and then seldom need to turn the page, secure in the knowledge that there it is!
Early in my career, I spoke on the telephone with a woman who said she was looking forward to my talk the next day. Great,I thought,I’ll focus on Lorraine. So of course my boss sat down right behind her . . . on to Plan B.
And speaking of plan B: The VERY WORST is depending on visuals (via Internet or PowerPoint) and then having equipment failure. In case of Internet failure, have a PowerPoint with screen shots of at least some of what you hope to show live. A USB drive can be your rescue.
Remembering that your audience ASSUMES you are knowledgeable and interesting. They are already inclined to like you or they wouldn’t be there.
Francesca, thanks for your note. The recent posts are now located farther down the blog, in the left-hand column. You will also see a new feature: the most recent comments by readers are featured there too. (These features may move to the right-hand column, so please look for them and thanks for any feedback!)
Francesca, thanks for your note. The recent posts are now located farther down the blog, in the left-hand column. You will also see a new feature: the most recent comments by readers are featured there too. (These features may move to the right-hand column, so please look for them and thanks for any feedback!)
When you first went to college, you wanted to major in writing, but didn’t because the other writing students had probably all been writing since they could pick up a crayon. Kristin, you’re probably the ONLY one out of all of those students who is now a published author. (And quite famous, too!) Isn’t it funny the way life often turns out? Congratulations on fulfilling your dream of writing, being the mom of two great people, being a supportive wife, your sobriety, your grace and beauty and all of your other accomplishments. Kudos!
When you first went to college, you wanted to major in writing, but didn’t because the other writing students had probably all been writing since they could pick up a crayon. Kristin, you’re probably the ONLY one out of all of those students who is now a published author. (And quite famous, too!) Isn’t it funny the way life often turns out? Congratulations on fulfilling your dream of writing, being the mom of two great people, being a supportive wife, your sobriety, your grace and beauty and all of your other accomplishments. Kudos!
Kristin,
The Secret to a Talk is:
People are there because you have something to offer.
You are the Expert, the Experienced One and the audience want to benefit from that knowledge base, whatever the topic.
As a teacher of many years, I had many parent nights and whilst I was always a little anxious, I felt that they were there to gain knowledge and support in my role as a teacher of their special person.
Each and everyone of your audience is there because they are interested in You. If you are honest and relaxed, the audience is forgiving. A little lightheartedness helps to relax the audience and create a more personal environment. You have all those ingredients, so bask in the glory that people want to be in your presence and enjoy the moment. And of course, a very important ingredient to assist in that happening is your husband’s magic ‘drop’. Parfait!
Kristin,
The Secret to a Talk is:
People are there because you have something to offer.
You are the Expert, the Experienced One and the audience want to benefit from that knowledge base, whatever the topic.
As a teacher of many years, I had many parent nights and whilst I was always a little anxious, I felt that they were there to gain knowledge and support in my role as a teacher of their special person.
Each and everyone of your audience is there because they are interested in You. If you are honest and relaxed, the audience is forgiving. A little lightheartedness helps to relax the audience and create a more personal environment. You have all those ingredients, so bask in the glory that people want to be in your presence and enjoy the moment. And of course, a very important ingredient to assist in that happening is your husband’s magic ‘drop’. Parfait!