Ever since I dislocated my elbow while walking my dog, outings with my golden retriever have changed. I am more aware of the dangers around every corner. Giant barking dogs can leap out of nowhere, causing a dog on a leash to react in self defense, and even tiny chiens can wreak havoc. For walks to go smoothly, you have to know your dog, be alert, and have a back-up plan–my own is to quickly change sidewalks or change direction, but this reflex did not work for us recently.
Saturday's drame was similar to the one that landed me in ER, only this time there was a better ending (if not a happy one). Things had gotten off to a good start, last weekend, when I swallowed past fears and took control of the leash. If we let a bad experience get the best of us, our world becomes smaller and smaller–and so does that of our loved ones!
Smokey and I headed out into the sunny horizon, one of us mumbling a mantra of positives–the other naturally oblivious to life's What ifs?
Keeping my dog reined in close to my side, we smiled (did you know goldens smile?) at the customers seated in the cafés along the seafront. A waiter seemed to recognize us from the neighborhood, which elevated our spirits even higher.
As the pavement ended, we proceeded onto the dirt-paved area that opens out before the sea. That's when Smokey stalled….
I recognized this behavior. It signaled he was about to bolt. Looking up, I saw the object of his interest: a glossy long-haired retriever that looked very similar to Smokey, only a bit smaller. As I quickly turned to redirect Smokey, the two men walking the dog smiled brightly. I recognized that sourire, it said, Aw, c'est mignon! Our dogs are interested in each other. Let's introduce them….
I smiled back in a thanks but this is not a good idea way — but it was too late. Smokey began dragging me forward over the slippery ground. I was quickly losing my balance and made the decision to drop the leash (something I would not–and could not!–do the last time, and ended up in that ambulance)….
My golden retriever charged toward the smaller dog and the two were soon caught up in a tangle of barking. Everything happened so fast and I heard myself shouting, Ne vous inquiètez pas. Il ne va pas attaquer! Don't worry, he won't attack!
That is when one of the men yanked my dog away from his dog and tossed Smokey toward me. With that, he shouted, Il ne va pas attaquer??!! IL NE VA PAS ATTAQUER???
I grabbed Smokey and my adrenaline held him in place. The two men walked off spouting anger our way.
My mind was reeling. They don't know my dog! They don't know he is a survivor! Attacked by two dogs as a puppy he was not expected to live. LIVE HE DID! Smokey went on to live 9 lives and after another cancer diagnosis, this past summer, I was told he was lucky to be alive, but not to count on a much longer life….
I realize none of this matters to the men whose dog has just been threatened by my dog. I just wished to explain to them that while Smokey may bark up a storm — he'll soon scramble to hide behind the very dust he's kicked up!
This time the two of us sat there in the dust. Dazed, I finally got up off the ground, swallowed the lump in my throat and walked home with my tears and my dog, who was back on his leash. Smokey and I had made so much progress since we moved from the country to the city, where he–where both of us–would have to adjust to les citoyens. As upset as I was over this unexpected pris de bec, or run-in, I could still put myself in the other dog owner's shoes, and I knew I would have reacted the same way, too. What saddened me was the misunderstanding that remained.
Today Smokey and I could both use a walk. Instead we are holed up inside, our worlds having rétréci, or grown just a little bit smaller. We will figure out a way forward, meantime there's a lump in our way (or in my throat). I leave you with a recent picture/video of Smokey R. Dokey. I hope you can see it below (tap the the middle of the picture, until you see an arrow, to make Smokey's tail wag!).
The regular edition of French Word-A-Day will be back next week. See you then.
Amicalement,
Kristi
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Our little Cavalier, Hudson, is the same way, but he’s only twenty pounds of love, so can’t pull my 200 pounds very far…
I hope your day and walks get better. Hopefully, les citoyens get to know your big bundle of puppy love soon!
Give Smokey a kiss for us.
Kristi, grab that leash and go walk! You cannot let the world grow smaller and you can do it. If he starts to bolt just sit down and hold on….you can always let go if you have to…….the last time I walked a golden I just had to let go but no harm came to me or the dog…..
In the US, there are yellow bandanas and dog vests that indicate to other dog owners that your dog needs space. Perhaps finding something that signals ‘do not engage’ would help with Smokey. Likewise, there are special halters that greatly assist the owner in restraining a dog that pulls and lunges. Do some online searching for dogs aides. It will make your walks much more enjoyable and safer for all.
Sending you both a bisou for your bruised egos – why not have a tiny little meander round the block, if you’re not up to a proper walk…just to keep your hand (and Smokey’s paw!) in? Brush yourself off, dust yourself down and start all over again. Put Smokey’s smile back in place!
Bon courage,
L.
Life is full of those type of things. You did nothing wrong and did the best you could to control Smokey. He did no harm. Don’t let it paralyze you. Get back on the horse and ride again.
Hi Kristi,
Oh, I’m sorry about your run in! I had a Labrador Retriever named Buster and he would bark and rush at other dogs but would never do anything! He just wanted to say hello to the other dogs! It is disconcerting to others who don’t know your dog though. It’s hard to know also if the other person might have been attacked by a dog before and is not so trusting now. My dog was also about 110 lbs and very strong. I had a collar called a Gentle Leader which people also misunderstood. It gave the impression of a muzzle but did not cover the mouth but went over the bridge of the dogs nose. It helped so much with control on walks but others would look at us and think I had a vicious dog! The head halter worked like a charm for pulling and kept my arms from getting pulled! Just google Gentle Leader head collar!
How about going out, sans Smoky, around the same time of day that the event occurred. With any luck you might come across the other dog owners and have a chance to explain. I’m sure they would understand if you had a chance to explain. In the meantime is there any kind of harness that you could use with Smoky to give you a bit more control?
Best wishes,
Cath
Dear Kristi:
This post created a lump in my throat, too, and eyes brimming with tears of hurt and love. I feel I know dear Smokey personally, though never having met, as we have read of all his (and your) life’s travails and triumphs through the years. I am so sad for both of you, but know that the two of you will soon bounce back and triumph in the end, just as you always have done.
Much Love,
Alisa
So sorry. Took my 10 month old German Shepherd for a walk two days ago and ended up falling on my nose (literally) after losing my balance when he pulled just the wrong way. Ended up with just a scraped nose and sore knee. Glad it’s not worse. I feel for your fear and hope eventually you’ll try again.
I think a good therapy might be to get out of the house today by yourself , walk to one of those charming cafes and have something good to eat! And tomorrow take Smokey out for a little walk…It will be fine!!!
Love that photo of that sweetheart wagging his tail and blinking his eyes! Dogs do what comes naturally…sounds like these men have a lot to learn about dogs!
Hi Kristin,
Your accounts of Smokey have certainly fostered my affection for both of you. I’m so sorry for your dual mishaps, but can’t help wondering why Smokey was – apparently – never taught to heel or stop on command.
Kristie try this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07661DYHX/ref=mp_s_a_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510582404&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=dog%2Btraining%2Bcollar%2Blarge%2Bspies&th=1&psc=1
We purchased it after similar incident happened to our daughter when waking our golden. Now our walks are 100 percent wonderful and our dog is so much happier too!!!
I understand both angles of this story. An unknown dog running towards you poses a threat. And a strong dog poses a threat to the dog walker. My dog is strong too. When I can’t cross the street or get out of the way of approaching dogs, I move to the side and hold her firmly. My balance is better if I’m not moving and this strategy has worked well for me. Please don’t over think what happen to you. I bet the two men have already forgot about it. When you’re a dog owner these things happen.
I hate that when it happens. So sad but as others have said go out for a walk enjoy a cafe and the sea. It will clear your mind. You may need to take shorter walks for a while getting him use to New environment and so others in neighborhood get to know you. Sometimes I tell people with big dogs that my dog is very protective and they move away even though he is only 13pounds and not barking.
I feel for your story. We moved from Omaha to Lyon this fall along with our then almost year old chihuahua-daschund mix, Tippy. In Omaha she had a few friends with whom she could run around in a yard and there was the day camp at Pet Smart. She goes on multiple daily walks with me and sadly is reactive to other dogs, Basically I think she’d just like to play but her nasty owner keeps her on the leash. Hopefully in a few months, she’ll be less barky around other animals. On a positive note, she makes little children and many adults smile when she walks up begging for a pet! Keep walking Smokey and think “damn the torpedoes….”
Hi Kristin…
Have you ever thought of buying a Halti for Smokey? We swear by this, especially as our dog is young and very strong and just over 50kgs…and it hurt our arms and shoulders…when we are going to the markets or meeting up with people…the difference is…our Max, also a Golden Retruever, as you know, so if we did not use the Halti, we would be taken for a walk…however, now we take him for a walk…but trust me, the minute we remove it, he is a different dog, no longer calmly walking by our side…he’s off…we were recommended this by friends in OZ who train dogs, and we can highly recoomen this…it will not hurt him, he. An drink and East with the Halti on…it’s not a muzzle…but the minute he pulls, it will be a bit uncomfortable for him, and he will stop + you are in control…you can get it on Amazon here in France…good luck…🙂
It is unnerving to have a strange dog bounding up to you, possibly jumping up or knocking you over. I know that in this case the other owner encouraged your dog, but if a dog has not been trained and is going to run off, then, for everyone’s safety, it should be on a lead.
Recently you asked for corrections: well, in English, ‘reigned’ means ‘ruled over’, as a monarch does. The word you want is ‘reined’.
Kristi,
Love the tail wag! I totally understand. We have a large German Shepherd, Larry, who is actually a pussy cat and just wants to play with other dogs. Unfortunately many people believe they are all vicious and his barking at them doesn’t help. After almost ripping my arm out its socket several times trying to get to other dogs and scaring people in the process I got a halter which prevents him from pulling. Now I’m in control and can engage with other dog owners to see if they want the dogs to meet before we end up in a tangle. There are many different types (I like the ones that you adjust once and then it just takes one snap to get it on him) and he is so used to it now that he waits by the door for me to get to on. Good luck!
I want to cry. This is not the story I was prepared to read. Dogs, children and elderly; three groups for whom we should always extend kindness and patience regardless of the circumstances. Sending hugs to you and Smokey from US…because small acts of goodness are so much more powerful that big acts of cruelty. Marcher maintenant! Hold your heads high! Woof woof…
My late Snowy, who literally seemed to drop out of the sky after being abandoned and/or abused, had issues too, so I can empathize. But you both need walks! Maybe your husband should share them with you?
Look at that sweet boy! I have a special place in my heart for Goldens. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve had something similar happen with my goldendoodle Penny, and I was wrecked over it for awhile. It’s hard not to keep going over the incident in your head. I like the suggestions that many of the other readers are making. I hope it all helps and that you have really nice walks with your sweet Smokey this week.
Hi Kristi and Eileen,
I second the recommendation of a Gentle Leader! My 80 pound German Shepherd, Andre, is an enthusiastic barker who terrifies most people, although he is a gentle boy. The leader uses their weight against them if they try to pull. Remember too to takes some deep breaths and try to stay calm. Smokey can feel your anxiety. 🙂
First paragraph, “even tiny chiens can cause wreak havoc.” I think you need one less verb there.
Agree, a gentle leader is a good idea. They tend to fight against them at first but persevere and he will stop pulling. My friends dog is obedience trained and qualified to enter Crufts Dog Show, but on a walk he pulls like a steam roller and the Gentle leader head collar stops him every time. Don’t give up walking him you both need it, just change how you do it.
A harness vs a collar helps. I pet sit, so frequently walk dogs* and I find it distressing when people just assume you want the dog you’re walking to meet theirs (and, in this case, get offended when the situation doesn’t work out). A visit or two from a professional trainer may help, too, and might bring you some peace. Think about all the dogs walking on leashes on the sidewalks of NY without incident. I also like to walk at hours when other dogs may be in. It seems certain morning and evening hours bring out more walkers. I love walking at sunrise! (*Yes, a new tagline someone gave me. I’ve been a dog walker and worked on Wall Street. The stuff movies are made of, except the characters are usually former investment bankers or corporate counsel who can now afford to downsize their job. I’m just a woman of a certain age who can no longer find well paid meaningful work after a large employment gap doing the right thing to care for her mom at home, even being very willing to relocate. Sigh.)
Totally understand your hesitancy. May recommend you bring a walking partner with you for a week or so.
Kristin, there is no tail-wagging video on this blog that I can see. So sorry for your Smokey experience, but French dogs are so incredibly well-trained and rarely run at other dogs, etc. Those guys were probably surprised at Smokey’s run and it scared the other doggy. Would love to have seen the video but the photo on the blog is not the one you meant, no?
Your other readers have encouraged you to use a “gentle leader”. I can assure you it WORKS like a dream! I could not walk my dog before, and now it takes just two fingers to control her. It changed our lives. She does not particularly care for the gentle leader as it tickles her nose but she would rather that than stay home.
Good luck.
Alanna
Hi, Kristine. I have a suggestion for you that my dog-trainer brother in law told me and it works. It’s hard to explain but easy to do.
1-hook the lead at the dog’s neck collar as usual
2-take the lead to the back and run it under the belly of the dog and up the other side
3-then take it over the back and under the lead on the other side, so that you are controlling the dog from the back.
I’ll post an image on Instagram. It’s easy. I’m making a mess out of explaining it.
Find the photo at Leslieannmg on Instagram…just for you.
I have a 100 pound lab and a she is nuts about chasing squirrels and running up to other dogs. I have hand issues and this technique has kept us walking.
Get back out there! You are strong and have overcome far more difficult to control situations with grace. I am confident in you. It’s hard..you probably feel misunderstood and you want to fit in to your new environs. Make it happen…get back out there and enjoy a nice walk with M. Smokey.
Big dogs, no matter how friendly, seem to prvoke anxiety in some people and, in my experience, almost all dog owners are extremely defensive. “What, MY dog? Couldn’t be…. it’s your dog that is the aggressor…” They perceive joy and exuberance as aggression and don’t realize that their dog’s reaction contributes to the outcome of the encounter. I had a much beloved yellow lab who was impossble on a leash. He loved his walks, as did I and we made many friends, but not among fellow dog walkers. My solution was a pinch collar. It didn’t stop him, but it gave me time to plant my body firmly on the pavement to avoid being inelegantly dragged along same and to control him. Good luck!
Kristi,
As you can see, you are not alone!
My technique with my very strong German Shepard was to bring her to the side & tell her to sit before the situation got out of hand. I found it easier to control her in a sitting position than with her four strong legs on the ground. It took some practice (I would randomly sit her & wait even when no distractions were around). But, she grew accustomed to our new city neighbourhood.
But this isn’t about what happened with Smokey, is it, really…it’s about not feeling at home in this new place yet, disconnected from who and what you loved, not feeling recognized and not recognizing….perhaps it feels different and not in a good way, yet. Change is so difficult and can hurt. Hang in there sweet Kristen. Beauty and love and friendship and connection will soon find you there, too. xx
As is often the case, the animals behave better than the humans
.Dear Kristi,
Perhaps Smokey and the glossy haired retriever might have just bounced around each other, barking in conversation, had they been given the chance. Most disturbing and unsettling to me was the angry and aggressive behavior of the men. That would be hard to shake. It will probably take some time but you have some great ideas from your readers to deal with the whole situation.I am just glad there is no physical injury to you or Smokey!
Hm-m I didn’t get the photo/video of Smokey. It was just a table!
I have a cat but I can certainly understand the difficulty and frustration of your prise de bec.
“Courage, mon ours” as I always say to little grandson when he is overwhelmed. This was a horrible and shocking experience for you both, but Smokey is dependent on you for some kind of solution. From what I’ve read, here and elsewhere, the American yellow jackets are a Good Idea. Your readers here have plenty of other good advice and maybe you just need to “pick and mix” to find what might work for you – and try one small step at a time. You’re in shock now and I wish it hadn’t happened to you both. But you both need to get out and about again as soon as you can. You are such a brave and resourceful person, and Smokey is a hero too. Don’t let these strangers and their dog change your lives for the worse. That would be too sad.
The best and most practical answer! Thank you! Even a prong collar would teach Smokey pretty quickly not to bolt away!
Personal safety, and safety for Smokey should be the priority, not sentiment.
Dear Kristi,
So sorry this happened to the 2 of you. You both need to get back out there.
Here’s something worth looking at from Whole Dog Journal. BEST OF LUCK (btw Phyllis Adatto is a mutual friend)
https://www.blue-9.com/pages/balance-harness
Balance Harness
We like this well-designed, well-made harness a lot. Made by Blue-9 Pet Products, it offers two nice, large rings as attachment points, one in the front and one on the back, and adjusts in six places – more than any of the other products we reviewed. Every single strap that connects one piece of hardware to another adjusts individually: the left and right sides of the neck, the left and right sides of the chest, as well as the straps that connect the “collar” of the harness to the “girth” (one on the back of the dog’s neck and one that goes between his front legs); this enables an owner to get the fit just right.
To put it on the dog, you put the “collar” section over the dog’s head, pass the lower straps through the dog’s front legs, and snap them on both sides to the top strap (which is easy to identify and position, given its contrasting color). It’s super easy.
PROS: Good-quality materials, simple design. Very minimal sideways shifting of chest ring when leash pressure is applied. Girth strap can be adjusted far enough back to be well clear of armpits to avoid chafing.
CONS: Seriously, we were hard-pressed to find anything to criticize one this harness; none.
I had a German Shepherd who was a love. She would bark and lunge at other dogs, scaring their owners with her German Shepherd teeth. All she wanted was to get close and play and she was just yelling to them from across the street…lots of scared owners along the way.
On a practical note, I am not a large person and a big dog was a challenge to hang on to. (I dropped the leash a few times to save myself) I used a “pinch collar.” It sounds and looks bad but the prongs just get the dog’s attention and do not hurt…I know because I tried it on my leg, yanking hard.. it isn’t a choke collar, just an attention getter as I said.. check them out on line. Keep on walking and give that pup a kiss.
Kristi,
I have two young, exuberant Hungarian vizslas and permanent problems with my arms and shoulders and for several years tried every trick in the book – pinch collar, chest harness, you name it until I FINALLY discovered a method that allows us all to enjoy our walkies.
In order to walk my dogs happily and safely, I use a small switch – just a little branch from a shrub, from which I strip the leaves. I twitch the switch back and forth like a windshield wiper in front of their noses when we start our walk in tandem to remind them to walk at heel and tap them gently on the nose or ‘turn on the windshield wiper’ when my ‘girls’ get out of line or pull on their leads. No violence, no aggression, just clear guidance that they MUST walk at heel. It may or may not work with Smokey…bonne chance a trouver un moyen efficace pour vous …il y en aura!
I think it might help to yell “NON!” in a loud voice until you can explain to the strangers what is going on with your dog. That would startle them out of their complacency in a quick, necessary way, and might give Smokey pause, too. It is scary when a dog rushes at you, and other readers have good suggestions for reining in Smokey, but the guys also need to learn not to assume anything about Smokey since they don’t know him. I once approached a dog and asked the owner if I could say hello. She said, “Unfortunately, he isn’t good with people” and that was that. There was a history there, not anyone’s fault, and it wasn’t at all obvious.
Go for the walks. Try different paths. Carry small treats in an open pocket. When you feel the tug on the leash or he gives that look or posture, say his name, reach into your pocket, distract him and give him a treat. You can practice this at home first….leash, gentle tug and name, treat. Practice until he gets it easily….then go do your walks. He won’t associate it with another dog, just that the tug means a treat. Also, do you know of anyone who has a dog that would be willing to come practice with you? After, he has learned without the other dog around. Just approach each other on a leash. He will be fine and so will you. hugs to both of you.
The Halti lead also worked for me. I had the most loving, rambunctious German Shorthair Pointer who had more energy than 5 dogs together….really!! The Halti worked for walks as did the training with treats.
Our dear Kristi,
And!Sweet Smokey!
My adrenalin is pumping right along with yours.
Especially because it vividly reminds me of the time when,as puppies,we were walking Pear and Lissy at the beach park.A lady whose dog was dragging his leash(one of those plastic contraptions that release and pull back)came galloping towards Pear,who was petried.Lady –a gal in her 20’s–was laughing as the plastic contraption hit Pear square in the head,knocking him down and out cold.We thought he was dead.
Lady found this immensely funny
and when I told her to pull her dog away,she looked at me and said”Oh granny,why don’t you f— off and die??!”
Needless to say,THIS is rude behavior.
Kristi,how you acted was exactly how you should have acted and spoken.
You are so right–you can’t let situations like these make your world one filled with fear and smallness.
We never went back to that park.We found another place where people were more considerate and we felt safer.
You are so creative that there is no doubt you can do the same.
Another route,perhaps or a different location,even if you have to drive there(which is what we had to do).
God granted you extra time with
Smokey and He will bless and guide you now.
Love
Natalia. Xo
No prong collars – EVER. Smokey was a country dog, never professionally trained, who now lives in the city with other people and dogs. He must be trained even though he is an old dog. Gentle Leaders, harnesses, more active and stronger control by his owners but never prong collars which are almost never used properly by owners who have not been professionally instructed. Truthfully, the owner’s anxiety and fear is transmitted to the dog. Dog training is really owner training.
I was recently “taken out” by a large dog and falling, broke my arm, in four places. I am currently attempting to recapture my courage by walking my 10 month old standard poodle around the block in the evening. It is tough to gather myself each evening because even on short walks, my exuberant four-legged child can become a challenge with just one arm mais je refuse to allow my broken arm to drive my fears and determine my choices. I have adopted your phrase “If we let a bad experience get the best of us, our world becomes smaller….”. Thank you for the inspiration and allons-y!
Good luck and take care. All will be well soon. Hugs from rainy (thank goodness!) Northern California,
Diane
Thank you, Ann. Corrections are always helpful and appreciated.
And many thanks to all who have taken the time to send in tips, edits (I see Kent left another, farther down), and encouragements for walking Smokey again! I have just ordered the Gentle Leader, as recommended, and have high hopes! I will fill my pockets with treats and get on with training Smokey. Your notes have lifted my spirits and helped so much. Merci beaucoup for sharing your experiences and stories!
Walk our 65 lbs. Australian Cattle dog every night for 30 minutes past 6 years. She is voice trained on walks and will not leave her yard. She was once attacked by a a neighbor’s dog, they paid $1,200.00 vet bill for their dog, and they paid the $200.00 for our puppy girl Elle. Like everyone’s ideas for the harness; often people do not know their own dogs or turn a blind eye or are irresponsible; yes anticipate the best you can; carry pepper spray to separate the dogs as a last resort; a friend of mine lost a finger trying to separate two of her own dogs.
All dogs are loyal will protect their property and owners. My daughter’s Corgi, however does not train and will not listen.
All the best to you and Mr. J-M.