Ever since I dislocated my elbow while walking my dog, outings with my golden retriever have changed. I am more aware of the dangers around every corner. Giant barking dogs can leap out of nowhere, causing a dog on a leash to react in self defense, and even tiny chiens can wreak havoc. For walks to go smoothly, you have to know your dog, be alert, and have a back-up plan–my own is to quickly change sidewalks or change direction, but this reflex did not work for us recently.
Saturday's drame was similar to the one that landed me in ER, only this time there was a better ending (if not a happy one). Things had gotten off to a good start, last weekend, when I swallowed past fears and took control of the leash. If we let a bad experience get the best of us, our world becomes smaller and smaller–and so does that of our loved ones!
Smokey and I headed out into the sunny horizon, one of us mumbling a mantra of positives–the other naturally oblivious to life's What ifs?
Keeping my dog reined in close to my side, we smiled (did you know goldens smile?) at the customers seated in the cafés along the seafront. A waiter seemed to recognize us from the neighborhood, which elevated our spirits even higher.
As the pavement ended, we proceeded onto the dirt-paved area that opens out before the sea. That's when Smokey stalled….
I recognized this behavior. It signaled he was about to bolt. Looking up, I saw the object of his interest: a glossy long-haired retriever that looked very similar to Smokey, only a bit smaller. As I quickly turned to redirect Smokey, the two men walking the dog smiled brightly. I recognized that sourire, it said, Aw, c'est mignon! Our dogs are interested in each other. Let's introduce them….
I smiled back in a thanks but this is not a good idea way — but it was too late. Smokey began dragging me forward over the slippery ground. I was quickly losing my balance and made the decision to drop the leash (something I would not–and could not!–do the last time, and ended up in that ambulance)….
My golden retriever charged toward the smaller dog and the two were soon caught up in a tangle of barking. Everything happened so fast and I heard myself shouting, Ne vous inquiètez pas. Il ne va pas attaquer! Don't worry, he won't attack!
That is when one of the men yanked my dog away from his dog and tossed Smokey toward me. With that, he shouted, Il ne va pas attaquer??!! IL NE VA PAS ATTAQUER???
I grabbed Smokey and my adrenaline held him in place. The two men walked off spouting anger our way.
My mind was reeling. They don't know my dog! They don't know he is a survivor! Attacked by two dogs as a puppy he was not expected to live. LIVE HE DID! Smokey went on to live 9 lives and after another cancer diagnosis, this past summer, I was told he was lucky to be alive, but not to count on a much longer life….
I realize none of this matters to the men whose dog has just been threatened by my dog. I just wished to explain to them that while Smokey may bark up a storm — he'll soon scramble to hide behind the very dust he's kicked up!
This time the two of us sat there in the dust. Dazed, I finally got up off the ground, swallowed the lump in my throat and walked home with my tears and my dog, who was back on his leash. Smokey and I had made so much progress since we moved from the country to the city, where he–where both of us–would have to adjust to les citoyens. As upset as I was over this unexpected pris de bec, or run-in, I could still put myself in the other dog owner's shoes, and I knew I would have reacted the same way, too. What saddened me was the misunderstanding that remained.
Today Smokey and I could both use a walk. Instead we are holed up inside, our worlds having rétréci, or grown just a little bit smaller. We will figure out a way forward, meantime there's a lump in our way (or in my throat). I leave you with a recent picture/video of Smokey R. Dokey. I hope you can see it below (tap the the middle of the picture, until you see an arrow, to make Smokey's tail wag!).
The regular edition of French Word-A-Day will be back next week. See you then.
Amicalement,
Kristi
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Dear Kristin, I have a dog who HATES runners. In February, she pulled me down trying to get to a runner and I broke my pelvis. Now I use a leash with two handles, one up top and the other lower down on the leash. When she begins to pull toward a runner, I just grab the lower handle and am able to keep her under control. I got it on Amazon. Give it a try. Keep walking. Just be extra vigilant!
It is heartening that you have found, and decided to try, a new strategy with Smokey, one that other readers have found successful. Smokey is used to wide open spaces, he probably needs more outings now that you live in town. It is a big adjustment for an older dog, but he can learn, and he wants to get on. Is there a time of day when you could go, when there would be fewer dogs around? Could your husband, as busy as he is, assist by either accompanying you sometimes and helping with training, or taking Smokey for solo walks? Your local vet or dog groomer could have some ideas that would help for your particular location.
I wish you much success- walking in harmony with one’s dog is one of life’s great pleasures. En Marche!
Hi, please get a GENTLE LEADER and use it only when you go for walks … it is worth it and your walks will be a pleasure for both of you ….
Good that you are ordering a Gentle Leader. I’d recommend a harness that prevents the dog from twisting but start with the Gentle Leader. However, the key to all dog behavior is the leader/owner. You must overcome your fear if you are going to control your dog. It is the key to all dog behavior — ask any dog trainer. You can transmit fear and apprehension to your dog who will become nervous or you can transmit calm, authoritarian control. The dog wants a leader. The worst dog owners are the people that adopt/buy small lap dogs, never train them, and let them exhibit their worst Napoleon tendencies. Ive owned super strong, large, muscular dogs who are perceived as assertive/aggressive but they aren’t if you convey to them they are dogs and you are the leader. It really is that simple but difficult if you have no practice leading in human life. Goldens have a reputation for being goofy loving dogs but they are also one of the most cited aggressive dogs. Your neighbors are justified in being wary.
Hi Kristi,
Two years ago, I and my two Shih Tzus were attacked three different times by dogs in my neighborhood. I became so fearful, that It has taken two years for me to resume my walks with my dogs. I now walk them separately, every day, for at least 30 minutes each. I attribute this successful turnaround to Alecia Evans and her amazing Walk in Sync system, which includes what I call a “miracle” harness. Please visit the website, http://www.walkinsync.com – it is transformative!
Best wishes,
Susan Scott
Boulder, CO
Kristin, I have been covered up since before your Corsicana sojourn and trying to downsize and my precious baby kitty,, Oliver has developeda heart murmur, kidney failure and anemia. Stress just nudged me over and moved right in. Due to the heart murmur, the most successful treatment of flooding the feline system with IV fluids to jolt the kidneys is not ideal and the Vet says that can further damage the heart already in its weakened state. Thought I would share my reason for silence even tho there you and beautiful, sweetest Smokey are temporarily sidelined with your own problems. Don’t you hate it when our pets are sick and we can’t fix it? Me, too. And I also try to seriously use the Serenity prayer to get through it and on people who act so rudly And thoughtless of others. Hope they regretted it! You are such a kind, gentle one that I can’t fathom anyone not rushing to help you up and patting Smokey in the process. I’ve never seen a Golden snarl, although I guess they can, but whether he did or didn’t , keep going girl. Bullies have a sick need to win but not at your expense, Madam. Nor Smokey’s ! Poor baby, laying on his bed, head down and that tail thumping. Made me sad for him, and you. Look forward to what you decided to do. And it will be what is best for the two of you. I love that dog. Love you, too, Kristi and what’s that silly song about the rubber tree plant and high hopes? Hope to run in to them again and they use that Sorry word. Take care my friend and be good to you and Smokey. XXX, jacquie
CORSICA! I just saw this. Must have had Corsicana, Texas fruitcakes on my mind.
Bonne chance, dear Kristi. You will find the right solution after reading all of the advice written in on the “comments page” by your thoughtful, caring readers. I send my best wishes, too, for you and Smokey to soon be out walking and exploring every day.
Quels mecs impolis! Ils étaient très mal élevé!
I’ve had 3 male labs and have been pulled down a few times. I’m too old for that nonsense so I bought a metal chain choker. This only hurts if the dog persists in yanking you with him. They learn quickly. I was against It at first because people told me it was cruel. That was until I heard about a woman in my city walking her dog and while she was waiting to cross the street was pulled right in front of a car by her dog and was killed. It’s not worth it. These are smart dogs who don’t want to be choked and they’ll quickly stop pulling against you. As for those two guys what jerks! I always grab my dog by the chain collar and say I can’t handle him he’s too strong and let them pass by or cross the road. Bonne chance
There are no dogs sweeter than Golden’s. Hope you both have a chance to make up with those other dog walkers. I love all the comments from people who love you and your family as much as Rod and I do.
Kristi, Smokey is so attuned to you that he is likely picking up your new jitters and then responsively attempting to protect you both, given his history. Cesar Millan is The Dog Whisperer who works wonders with every kind of dismaying dog behaviour. I highly recommend looking at a few of his youtube clips of seemingly miraculous fixes with really very simple, insightful tweaks to how we walk our companion canine.
Sending a big hug to you and Smokey, Kristi! Please know that you took a big step forward when you ventured out today, and I hope that you will continue to regain your courage every day. Small steps are often the best idea.
Please hire a dog obedience trainer for your dog. Make him behave INSIDE your home. Training, training, training. Then he will behave OUTSIDE your home. You won’t have to rely on all the dog paraphernalia for his obedience. Then take him to a dog park for freedom and socialization. Separate walking behavior from dog park behavior. You will both be happy with this solution.
Our standard poodle has the gentle leader when on walks. It doesn’t totally prevent her from pulling if she sees other dogs, squirrels or leaves blowing on the sidewalk, but it helps. I always worry about her pulling me and losing my balance. Last summer we were on a nice walk when a gigantic no leash Great Dane came running towards us. I did what one of the other commenters did…sat down and tried to be calm so my dog would be calm. The dog was so large that my dog cowered. Eventually a lady across the street stood on her porch and yelled for the dog to come home. It bounded across the street. I agree going on a walk without Smokey in the area of the incident is a good idea. You might be able to explain Smokey’s exuberance to the gentlemen, plus it will ease your worries about taking Smokey back to that area later.
Chère Kristi – je suis désolée pour ce prise de bec! Je n’ai pas d’avis, mais je sens aussi la boule dans la gorge. Je suis avec toi dans l’ésprit ♥ ♥
I also have a 75 lb German shepherd who likes to pull when other dogs around. The gentle leader is wonderful at controlling her. You really should consider it!
☹️☹️☹️☹️ I can relate to your sad feelings and wanting to stay home for shelter. Please make yourself get out there again despite the struggle. A new friend may be just around the corner!
Kristi do not let your world get smaller! I own 3 rottweillers and my biggest “puppy” wieghs in at 200lbs. He is a big baby but of course is excited and happy out on any excursion. My husband use to work with local law enforcement and I have trained several dogs as search and rescue animals. When ever we go out of the yard our dogs wear a control collar. It doesn’t hurt them in any way but it does pinch and the harder they pull the more it becomes uncomfortable. It takes when good jerk for them to decide it is better to stay beside me. The collar comes off and hangs by our front door but the moment I ask zyzyxx if he wants to go to work he is trying to bring it to me. I know that ordering from the US is very expensive but i’m sure you could find one somewhere in France. I am including a link so that you can see one for yourself. http://leerburg.com/fit-prong.htm I wish you and smokey many more long and happy adventures in the future .
Kristi after living and rearing my own children in the South of France and also being ubdefinabley attractive like you.. in the spiritual sense not in the Vogue magazine type..we unexpectedly attracted all sorts of male behavior in France as MALE idenyity has been so shut down for too many decades..Women like you or me are a target..I once wrote to you about your skin issue and how I felt the equipe you had around you ….did not see you … only this visually lovely butterfly of a mother…treading water like myself ina world we were not yet seen because of compassion and couriosity we bloomed .. I was always so sorry we didn’t meet 7 years ago… but my 35 year marriage was being redefined. Now I live with the love of my life from 1970 and know life is good LOVE is the oly thing that matters HOW WHO and WHY we love.. it is a unique journey for everyone who takes the LEAP I have so much enjoyed your observations Thank You Happy Thanksgiving I would love to share with you my Tgiving in Sweden 1970 feeding some 60 expats I endend up plucking all the turkeys with the owner and having one of the best “gifts” of my life Media is just a replacement for what we will not dance with in real life its all there t seems safe
Hi-
I have a 10 year old, 85 pound, loveable lab, who is not the best (ahem) trained walker. Several years ago, I purchased an Easy Walk leash from Petco. LIFESAVER! It doesn’t involve the neck but when the dog lunges at something, or sees a squirrel or rabbit, etc. it grips him under the shoulders and stops him. It has made walks so much more enjoyable and I (110 pounds) have complete control. I can’t recommend this enough and it sounds like you have about the same issues I do with this-Bon chance!
When we moved from Long Island to Manhattan I knew would be a big adjustment for our dog. I found that having a good harness made a world of difference. True they can pull a bit more because it isn’t around their neck, but I can also grab the handle on the harness and keep him next to me. Also, there is not such thing as safely walking a dog in front of you in a city. They simply have to learn to walk next to you or even a bit behind you and not in the middle of the sidewalk (staying on the curb side or on the building side.) This isn’t just for having better control, but the dog needs to believe they are safe with you and not the “scout” who is looking out for danger. City life offers them so many new friends (people and fur), so many new smells, really a bounty of things to keep their mind interested, their zest for life renewed.
In Manhattan Central Park is leash free basically from 9p-9a. And we have dog parks to give them the freedom. When we lived in Paris, we looked for areas (behind Eiffel around 5, Bois de Boulogne, etc).
BTW, in case you ever move to a high-rise. It has its own learning curve, closed quarters, dogs coming in and out, reflective surfaces (mirrored metal). The hallway can become a territory. Our building has easily 100 dogs. All new dogs go through the difficult times in the beginning, and then they settle into elevator/hallway/city living.
This harness is the “no dog can get out of harness” which we use during events in the city or when hiking. The other harness, an Austrian harness, isn’t as fool proof, but is excellent, easy on easy off, you can order reflective wording that goes on the sides (velcro on and off.)
https://ruffwear.com/collections/harnesses/products/web-master-harness
http://julius-k9.com/idc-power-dog-harness/
Keep your courage! It will pay off with a multiple of rewards to walk in cities and towns.
Our golden retriever has the same problem –a darling, charming dog–terrific in every way; However–he lunges at other dogs and barks feverishly. We sent him to multiple trainers. He has improved significantly. Now we walk around other dogs, cross the street and move to another area when we see them. Also –when we see another dog coming we prepare him by speaking his name, distracting him and putting him on the other side of our legs so he cannot interact with the other dog. The video of Smokey is just adorable! Give a hug to Smokey for me.
I totally understand this. Finn has owned me now for eight years – he was a rescue dog, although we both rescued each other – but all the rehoming centre knew about him was that he was a stray found on the streets of Cork in Ireland. While we’ve been together for eight years now, he can still be very unpredictable on our walks and recently “attacked” a puppy. I could see it wasn’t an “attack” but I totally understand the anger of the puppy’s owners – I would have been super-protective too. It’s heartbreaking that most of Finn’s attempts to make doggy friends end up with us both walking away with our tails between our legs. Please don’t give in though – the more you walk a certain route, the more the other dog Mums and Dads will get to know that Smokey is safe, they just have to get used to him. Get back out there! xxx
Well said. Thank you!
Lots of comments here. I guess that’s because dog owners and non-dog owners have a lot of energy invested in their relationships with these wonderful animals.
Smokey is being a normal, healthy golden, n’est-ce-pas ? Especially if he was attacked earlier in life. I had a rescue pup and I was ENCOURAGED to take him into town – just to get him used to being around more and more people and other dogs. I started small and worked our way up and I’ll never regret it.
BJ got known in certain areas and people looked forward to having him stop pass by. I developed a lasting friendship with an elderly man around the corner and got to know my neighborhood and others in my town.
So, I say “Keep on walking!” 🙂
Sad story dear – please look into dog training …you need to be able to prevent problems and they actually respect you MORE if you show them they dont HAVE to be the leader ….
I have the same problem with my dog Marcel. For most of his life he lived freely on the edge of the forest, hardly ever on a lead. Now we are living back in the centre of the town (Tarascon, Bouche du Rhone) and trying to get him to behave on a lead is a daily nightmare (more often than not I cop out and take him by car to a walk that doesn’t need a lead and where there are few dogs). He loves playing with other dogs and is never agressive, but does bark at people, who think they are being attacked. I am taking him to Canine agilité classes (doggy school) to try and help his behaviour, but its a bit of a struggle and can be quite stressful. But please don’t stay indoors, walking is so good for both of you.