We all need more mudita! Mudita is the benevolent and altruistic joy that delights in the happiness and success of others. It is a sacred joy that finds its pleasure in the well-being of another rather than by feeding envious thoughts and jealousies concerning the other. To illustrate "mudita," we often give the example of parents, who delight in the progress and happiness of their children. (Photo from our marriage. I know, you've seen it many times!) I think marriage vows should include "mudita," don't you? Comments link at the end of this post.
DEFINITON FOR VICARIOUS JOY
"Mudita" cela veut dire "une joie sympathique, une joie bienveillante et altruiste qui se réjouit du bonheur et des succès des autres. C'est une joie sacrée qui trouve son délice dans le bien-être de son prochain plutôt que de nourrir des pensées envieuses et jalouses à son égard. On donne traditionnellement l'exemple des parents qui se réjouissent des progrès et du bonheur de leur petit enfants pour illustrer ce qu'est Muditā." –Wikipedia
ECOUTEZ – LISTEN
(Dear Reader, for today's sound file, you are stuck with me and my big American accent…as Jean-Marc is absent today! Here we go… listen to the definition (printed above): Download Mudita
Improve your spoken French. Try Pronounce it Perfectly in French or Exercises in French Phonetics
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
Thursday, following his open letter about what could possibly drive us to abandon our dream-in-the-making, Jean-Marc and I read the blog comments. We read them silently. We read them aloud to each other. We read them over the phone to my father, my aunt, my mother. I whispered them to my dog, Are you up for this, Smokey? Will you be OK in cargo, headed to America…..
Though heartened by the enormous support, I knew all of the encouragement would only convince Jean-Marc to take that leap–a move I am still resisting, much like I resist party invitations. But isn't that just it? Isn't it time to open up and share life with others? I could stay in this isolated garden, write from a perch in my bedroom, and hibernate forever as a bear (so as not to say recluse)!
Speaking of bears, they frighten me and are beginning to serve as a filter as we note down possible towns to live in (I don't want to live in Bear Country. At the same time, bear country has all of the qualities I am looking for in a place to settle down! Will we ever settle down? On and on the mind goes during this potentially (we still could stay…) uprooting time, as we allow both excitement and fear to take over – – and when it does, we each retreat to a different room and find our peace, our internal compass. If only it would reveal the direction, NOW!
That afternoon, after being moved by an outpouring of support, the house was quiet but for a crackling fire in the living room. I went to look for my husband of 22 years and found him sitting on his grandfather's couch, one he had had reupholstered in burgundy velvet (the color of his future wine?) before we moved to the Côtes du Rhone. Here we are now in St Cyr-sur-Mer. Ten years and two vineyards later we are on the verge of a major life decision–leaving our authentic dream in which Jean-Marc would build a vineyard from the ground up…up into the hills over looking the sea of Bandol….
….and I would have the French farmhouse of my dreams–while another passion grew even beyond that: a wild French garden! This rambling garden (in which just this morning I pulled 6 earth-clad carrots) would offer more than quaint architecture, it would strengthen the foundation in my soul. So why do I keep mourning the loss of my garden when it is right there inside of me? Capable of growing wherever I go? I can plant it in a plastic cup and set it on the shelf of an Airbnb (in Portland? Will we go there?) or dig up a back yard of a home for sale (in Denver???).
Walking through our farmhouse the other day, looking for Jean-Marc, I found him there in front of the fireplace. He had a big bright look on his face as he stared at his computer. I wondered, What is he looking at? As I turned to see the screen I saw it - a giant Map of the States. And there, seated before the giant map , I now saw a young man, young as I was when I once sat before a giant map…of France.
Gazing at my husband, whose head tilted thoughtfully before the map, all of my self pity began to melt away. And I thought, After 24 years of living my dream in France, isn't it his turn now to have his own experience in a foreign land? Looking at Jean-Marc I could almost see a cowboy hat and chaps on the young man who sat considering the vast Map of America. A young man who had felt so very old only days ago.
And it occurred to me that instead of fear and regret I could now find my joy… in allowing Jean-Marc to pursue his own. And that by observing his delight in each new world discovery, I might be delighted too.
***
RELATED POSTS
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To Come to a Decision: On Turning the Page of our Vineyard dream. (Click here).
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Perhaps…once the place in France is sold, you should embark on a tour of the United States and visit all your possibilities?Then a decision can be made? It is an adventure that awaits you and one that seems exciting to me. I myself suffer from wanderlust so in a way I envy you.
May I just remind you that Virginia has a temperate climate and an ever-expanding wine industry…just saying.
Kristi, I just know that good things are on the horizon for both of you! Wherever love leads you, you will be ok.
Whenever we moved, though just to a different house in the same town, it was always the plants outdoors that I hated leaving the most. I identify with you not wanting to leave your garden. Best wishes!
Bravo! A great day’s entry, Kristi! Some day, you must come visit Maine…….
Go for it…..Denver or wherever. Don’t wait until you’re too old. That’s something I did and have so regretted not taking the leap. You’re still young enough to enjoy another place and time. Don’t miss an opportunity and close a door. A new chapter and a new page await.
A beautiful post! I wish you both much happiness wherever you land!
It is a difficult time to be moving to the US though. It is a mess with poor healthcare, war on the horizon, and a farce of a government. I think about leaving the US because I am tired of the constant beating of war drums and the bombing of other countries.
As you often have done, you brought tears to my eyes with your beautiful language and beautiful thoughts. This is a word I MUST remember. I was you earlier this year when my husband declared he wanted to move instead of live through a total renovation. I’ve told you this story before, about all of my tears when I thought of leaving my garden for which I still had so many dreams. However, when we took our first look at the house we would eventually buy I climbed the stairs to the third floor and found my husband standing in a large, light-filled room. The brightest room in house. I could see he was in love. For thirty years he had played his drums and had his home office in a string of dank, dark stone basements. My office space hadn’t great, but at least it had been in rooms with windows and heat. I pictured him in this room, surrounded by all of his things and sunlight instead of the basement boxes and detritus of our life together. That’s when I knew we were going to move and I’d make a new garden here.
I guess that was my own case of “mudita.” Bon chance on wherever this journey takes you.
Oh my – your post brings tears to my eyes. Tears of joy. Beautifully written and how compassionate and insightful you are. Moments of clarity are wonderful if illusive. Just letting my mind wander over your situation and I think a trip around the states to the places that JM and you both really like to see how they actually feel – temporary home base could be in Denver. Caravan anybody? One thing you know for sure about your garden is that you bloom wherever you are planted. If you do this there is always a guest room in my house for you. But I live in San Antonio – I cannot recommend the summers.
Just had a thought , may be crazy, rent out the farm house and have another vintner take care of the vines while you check out the US. If I had the money I would buy it from you so I could have my French dream. Don’t worry, all will be well. Nancy
Limbo is the worst place to be…… You have more than one good choice, so you can’t make a bad decision. You both are good at making a place a wonderful home. Each time I have left a beautiful place and think of the favorite things I leave behind ( a wall of cabinetry that my husband built, or beautiful landscaping,) I know that we will make another beautiful place together in the future where ever it may be. I know that there are more good people waiting to be friends. I know that I will find a favorite bakery or restaurant. Trust and go. Blessings, Elaine Street
Wishing you the very best in this difficult decision. A new adventure awaits you.
So you and Jean Marc and kids AND SMOKEY–Yay, Smokey goes too!–will stay together as a family no matter where you go. It will be be scary for you, exciting for Jean Marc, and fun for the kids. Smokey will be fine in cargo. We’ve done it with our big golden, to and from France. Staying together is key! Blessings on you all. 🙂
Oh I am smiling! I know that feeling of getting inside the joy of a loved one’s view and how almost irrelevant my opposing view just fades away. I think it might be respect and for sure, it’s love! Not that you can’t add your two cents to his dream and still find a wonderful satisfaction and joy for yourself! I wish you strength in all these difficult decisions of just where to move. So many choices -kind of like when I would think of moving to France -to which of the many beautiful, interesting areas, big city, medium, countryside, little village, mountains, sea. It’s difficult when one loves so many different types of locale. maybe it’s time for a wild travel adventure. Buy a motor home and go everywhere for 6 months! I don’t mean to sound cavalier but I’m excited for you AND I know this is a really big deal, a major change that you might want to ease into when deciding on an ‘Initial’ destination. Good luck with dreaming with Jean-Marc!!
I’ve been reading, and enjoying this for years so I’m sad that you may move on from your idyllic digs.
I agree with the comment by Donna Biggs. If the Republican nominee wins the presidency it will be a disaster here. And we have many issues as it is.
I live on Long Island’s North Fork. It is beautiful, a two hour jitney rice to New York City and there are many wonderful vineyards. I’d be happy to put you in touch if you’d like.
I am incredibly grateful for your and Jean-Marc sharing this major life change. It is beautifully rendered, honest, and a gift to us all. You will find the way, and in the process, help others find theirs just through sharing your own. Very grateful. I, for one, am very grateful!!
Rosalie
Chaque fois que nous avons demenage, c’etait difficile partir mais nous etions toujours heureux apres. Nous sommes alles de Montana a l’est a Montana a l’oeust, a Washington, et maintenant a Arizona. Nous sommes devenues deux meilleures personnes a cause de ca. Bon chance. Votre futur sera super fantastique et magnifique!
I have read your blog for a couple of years now, and was a bit saddened of the thought of you leaving France, which would also mean, a change for “us” all. I have been to Denver and Bozeman AND Portland. Denver is NOT a friendly place for outsiders. CO in general, is prone to “You being you, and me being me”. Not a good place for a couple wanting to relocate and ‘fit in”. Bozeman is VERY isolated…..You would have to have NO need for ‘others’ in order to be sustained in ALL things. Portland, OR BEST best. Pinot Noir Capital of the U.S. , and ‘Cosmopolitan friendly’. In other words, “YOU and YOURS are WELCOME here!” 😉 If I were to bring my French husband to the U.S. I would want him to feel ‘at home’ in a land that has vineyards, ocean and ALL that he is used to in France, so that he will NOT go into a MAJOR depression of not seeing the “land or sea”. Dawn
What an exciting adventure for all of you. If you need a temporary home base for a few months while you explore your options, look no further than our house – you are most welcome to stay with us! We have plenty of empty rooms, enough for the 4 of you and your dog.
Best of everything for your journey.
Except you don’t see enough sun if depression is an issue- stay with the drier climates of the west.
Why does it deem like so many people are going through a big shift right now? Having read your every word for years now, my own little family are also debating between France and the USA.
I just wanted to share with you a pearl of wisdom someone once gave me – if something scares you slightly, but at the same time excites you, those are the things we absolutely must do. That thinking has served me very well. Whichever you chose, your outlook in life and the ability to find the joy throughout, any decision will become the right decision. Best of luck!
What a huge decision. As i am almost ready to retire I think of leaving the US and experiencing new cultures. I Have lived outside Denver for 30 years and can’t imagine leaving it forever. There are many wonderful things about Denver however the traffic has become horrendous. I’m glad I work from home, The home buying situation is even worse. IF you can find a house that doesn’t already have several bids, the prices are out of sight. Nothing stays on the market for long. The weather is wonderful from June to October and even in the winter we have sunshine almost every day. None of that dirty snow piled up. I have a friend in Bozeman but she is an outdoors girl and loves it. But very isolated. As far as Portland goes, the housing situation is like Denver. A seller’s market. I have never been there but hear it is wonderful. But a lot of rain. Good luck in your decision.
Just a few thoughts to share~ we’ve communicated before Kristi, I was born in France of a French mother but grew up mostly in the United States. As much as I see Americans telling you how horrible it is here now, I agree with you that it’s dicier in France right now. I don’t think that most Americans realize how difficult it is to make a living in France.
I also sympathize with your nesting and introvert qualities. As an artist I also love my long periods of solitude in order to produce work. If it weren’t for my husband I probably would still live in the same sad space I lived in 40 yrs ago! But he pushes me out of my comfort zone and I believe I’m a better person for it.
We happen to live in bear country in Colorado, in Snowmass Village 15 minutes from Aspen. I’m going to send you my story about the bear who invited himself into my home and ate 6 cartons of Ben&Jerrys ice cream~ quelle horreur!!!
Anyway, our bears don’t eat meat or humans, so it’s not so horrible, just a nuisance every 5 yrs or so it they haven’t gotten enough to eat in the wilderness. Also, flowers flourish up in the mountains because we don’t get the scorching heat.
Good luck you two with your new adventure- one thing I’ve learned in this life is that when you follow your heart it all works out.
The following is a little story of my bear visit~
I pulled into the garage with my two standard poodles and suitcases in the backseat. We were finally at the end of a two day drive from St Louis to our home in Snowmass, Colorado. We were all pretty tired and ready to get out , stretch our legs and inhale the wonderful mountain air. I must say that I remember telling myself to call our sprinkler guy and tell him that I noticed the service door to the garage open, he needs to be more careful about being sure the house is secure when he leaves.
We’ve arrived and I let my two dogs out from their close quarters in the backseat. They seem more agitated than usual but then again so am I as I notice yet another thing to tell my sprinkler guy. He evidently had his dog with him when he came to turn on the sprinkler for the summer. My white door was covered with muddy paw prints, honestly!!!!
As I drag in a couple of suitcases my heart catches in my chest, no wonder my dogs were acting strange, someone had broken into my home evidently. I survey the mess in my hallway entrance, pistachio nutshells strewn about the floor and two of my paintings are knocked off the wall and laying on the floor as well. Feeling very confused as to what sort of burglar leaves nutshells, I tiptoed into the three guest rooms downstairs. Everything was tidy and just the way I had left it, hmmmmm. I then head to the front of the hall that leads to the front door and there I see a very large pile of poop, and right away I know it was a bear! One mystery solved but the big question in my mind is where is that bear now? No exit doors from the house are open so that means there must bear a bear in this house still and now my heart is beating mighty hard. Celeste and Charlotte ,the two dogs , are uncharacteristically very quiet and sticking very close to me. I can see that they are just as puzzled and scared as I am, so I make a lot of noise and start talking at the top of my lungs but we hear no rustling upstairs. Then I do what every strong independent woman does in a moment of panic, I dial my husband who is thousands of miles away in his office. I explain to him what I’ve discovered and that I’m afraid that the bear is still in the house and in an exasperated tone he asks what I think he can do. Well, I answer that I’d like him to stay on the line and if I scream or the line goes dead to call 911 for me. Maybe that wasn’t my best problem solving but it gave me the confidence to climb the stairs. Oh my, oh my, what a vision I was greeted by~ every single door in my kitchen, every cabinet, pantry door, oven door, refrigerator door was open. Even more impressive was the sight of ALL the contents of these vessels were strewn about the kitchen floor. It was an unimaginable mess and the thought of cleaning that plus the large “dump” in my entry way was just too much for me. After all, I’m telling you, I had just packed for the summer and driven across the Midwest and I was tired! So I called my handyman and asked him if he knew of an emergency service that would come rescue me from having to do some super human clean up at 8:00PM. An hour later a very welcome van pulled up my driveway and six people did a miracle clean up for me.
I felt much better after all had been cleared away and thank you bear for cleaning out my refrigerator for me. Lots of details that I noticed the following day, for example, chocolate Easter candies were carefully unwrapped and consumed, my lovely ceramic dishes of candies were still intact although now empty. One thing that ticked me off was that my six cartons of Ben and Jerrys ice cream were all eaten by my uninvited house guest, a treat that I was actually looking forward to digging into this particular summer. Oh well, all is well that ends well, right!
My life gets busy right away, I’m volunteering for the Aspen Food and Wine event and my sister arrives to stay with me that weekend. I’m to report to my volunteer job the following morning so we head to bed early for a good nights sleep. Around midnight my two standard poodles are making a huge racquet barking and barking at something I cannot see or hear. I assume that they can smell our bear outside so I open the balcony door and yell for the invisible (to me ),bear to get out and go away. It’s very still and quiet out there so I crawl back into bed and happily sink into my pillow. But no, the dogs start barking again and these dogs really don’t bark unless there is something wrong. So after several attempts to quiet them down I finally give up my idea of getting a good nights rest and agree to let them show me what’s wrong. They immediately lead me to the stairs and then show me that I’m to follow them down the staircase. As I reach the bottom I finally understand why my dogs thought it best to keep me awake for my entry door from the garage looked as though a football player was trying to tackle it. Every few seconds it would shudder with the slam of a body on the other side and between slams I could see the flat door handle being jiggled.
OK, think, think, think…how could that possibly be a bear on the other side? I had my handyman barricade the service door into the garage and I don’t care how smart that bear could possibly be, he couldn’t guess the code, put it in the key pad and open that garage door. SO…maybe it’s the neighborhood teens teasing me about about the bear getting into my home. But that would be kind of mean, even for our fun loving neighborhood of kids. The door is still vibrating with body slams and the handle clicking and I’m moving back closer to the front entry in case we need to make a quick escape. I’m in deep puzzled thought trying to put this all together in my head when the silence grabs my attention. I look up and there in my hallway is one very big, cinnamon colored bear and we are looking at each other eye to eye. The two dogs are obediently sitting at attention and if a dog could look dumbfounded , they both were. Imagine this moment, me surprised beyond belief, two black poodles in total submission and surprise, and one big bear who also seems as shocked as we are to see us in the way of that great white box upstairs that contains the most delicious CherryGarcia ice cream!
Okay, once again I know I didn’t do the correct protocol of cooley walking away without making any eye contact. Instead I raise both my fists in the air and yell with all my lungs,” Get out of my house, this is my house get out of here!!!” The dogs stay quite still, the bear looks puzzled and actually backs out of the door that part of his huge form had kept from clicking shut. He backed all the way back into the garage and the door clicked shut behind him.
My sister sleepily enters the hall having missed the bear entirely and asks why on earth I’ve been screaming in the hall in the middle of the night. I’m still in shock and all I can do is say,”a bear, a bear was in the house”. Then the door begins its shuddering again as the bear decides that he’d really like some more ice cream after all. My level headed sister suggests calling the police for help, oh yeah, now there’s a good idea.
Well, long story short I would’ve given anything for that police man to just sit in my living room and sip a cup of coffee while I slept peacefully in my bed. I actually begged but he said no, he had his beanbag gun and walked around the house a few times, the bear was gone. He had entered the garage through a new window that we had just put in and that has since been boarded up permanently. I didn’t sleep much that entire summer for I knew that my uninvited houseguest might return for just one more carton of ice-cream at any time. I sympathize because I feel exactly the same about sweet treats but I have the good sense to know when I’m not welcome.
Sent from my iPad
Sent from my iPad
“Are you up for this, Smokey? Will you be OK in cargo, headed to America…..” I don’t want to be “Debbie Downer,” but is there another way to ship Smokey? Our neighbor is a pilot for a commercial airline and he advised us years ago to never ship our dog in cargo. He said he has been there too many times at the other end of the trip and the dog has died. I’m sorry to add to your worries, I’m just passing on what we were told.
When asked the secret of her long and happy marriage, Ina Garten replied, “Jeffrey wants me to be happy, and I want him to be happy.” Sounds simple enough, but it captures what married life can be in all its complexity.
I hope you and Jean-Marc find your way to what will make each of you, not only happy but content. Whether it be in France or in the USA, I wish you the very best.
Oh God. Please tell me you are not serious.
So unselfish of you Kristin & yet to get the excitement & joy through Jean-Marc’s must give you great hope for whatever life has in store . The USA is a magnificent country .So many different landscapes.l was enthralled by Alaska ,when my daughter lived there So wild & with majestic mountains .But each region has so much to see .A knowledge of wine such as Jean-Marc has must surely be a big plus I have said before you both have the fortitude to start again & most important you have each other !
My dear friend. Loved this post and your ah ha moment. So please indulge my self interested encouragement for a move to Oregon. I was born in Portland and lived there for half my life until moving to Damascus, an area that could be considered a bedroom community for Portland. As we in this area know, we are mere minutes from a beautiful rugged coastline or some of the finest skiing anywhere on Mt. Hood. We have high desert country and huge forests. A day drive can take you into Western Canada, or a long day’s drive gets you to San Francisco. Here in the Willamette Valley is some of the most fertile land for a garden, and four distinct seasons. And, I am here, and I would love to offer my services as a guide and as a friend while you settle in. Love you dearly.
What a great story. Thank you, Muriel. I think well steer clear of your neighborhood. I dont like to share my ice cream ! 🙂
Jean-Marc is very lucky to have you, Kristin. You really GET it! I’ve been with you through many ups and downs, but have never written.
You two will be happy no matter where you end up. Wishing you the VERY BEST !! (Just returned from the beautiful Côte d’Azur and
so understand why it’s so hard to leave).
Thanks so much for sharing. I wish you both well wherever you end up.
Hello from Portland, Oregon. I have been reading your blog for years and feel close to you and your family, even though we have never met.
We moved to Portland thirty years ago from Milwaukee, WI. and have never looked back. We love it here. Our children moved here too, so we have grandchildren close by.
The previous commentator sang the praises of Portland, and she is right; Portland is a truly wonderful place. With a temperate climate and mountains, ocean and desert close by, we do have it all.
My husband and I have been married for 52 years and we were never afraid to take a chance. We moved several times, and it always drew us closer. But now that we have found Portland, we’ll never move again. Even if Trump wins (heaven forbid), we’ll stay in our little liberal bubble of Portland.
Bon Chance,
Terri
Hmmm. Change is challenging; what you make of it is the reward. I know. After almost 40 years with NYTimes I retired to Idaho, home of my wife. And, to my point: Idaho has a superb, if small, wine country (See: Idaho Wine Country,” 2010, Caxton Publishers) and consider yourselves invited, at least to see their terroire and meet some wine makers. Neanmoins, I’ve enjoyed your stories and journey.
If you decide to move to the USA, you must come by Washington D.C. and spend a week with me to visit all the historical places here. I will be your tour guide and host. I met Chief Grape twice when he was here, but I am sure he did not really SEE DC. It is a Must-Stop on your way to a new home in the USA.
What a beautiful, thoughtful and inspiring message you wrote today! I have read your blog for years and have never commented – until today! Well done! And “bonne chance” with wherever you move!
Thalie
So if Jean Marc might want a cowboy hat,come visit Nashville.
Whomever suggested travelling around and visiting the country..good idea.
As long as you are together.
Your journey of growth and insight has touched me many times through the years. This post does it again. How can you be so relevant to my life? You have a gift of opening eyes and hearts.
KRISTI, PLEASE MOVE TO COLORADO!!!!!!!!!
lOVE YOU!
MARIKA IN WINDSOR
Have to concur on this note, sad to say.
Bonjour, Thank you both for opening your hearts and baring your soul. Best best best of luck in what the future holds. I’m an Oregonian with a part time home in Paris. Never to be fluent in French so the one thing I know I miss are the jokes, they are often plays on words so go right past me. I imagine it will be that way in reverse for Jean Marc, but people everywhere are patient and will always explain. That said….it must be Portland. After all who has won so many awards for Pinot Noir than the Oregon wines, you would both fit in here so well. Please do explore our wine region, it might not be the dream to work for someone else’s winery but I know he and his vast knowledge would be appreciated here. Please do check out the Willamette Valley before you make your pick. Maybe you can rent your place there or rent one here to “test” it all out? Test the waters as they say. Please keep writing where ever you are. GOOD LUCK
L.
Beautiful blog today. What you two are going through is not an easy transition, but with mudita, you will both navigate it with grace. I just finished a book last night that I thought you might enjoy and that might be helpful. It’s called “The Magician of Lhasa” by David Michie. It’s about a man going through huge changes in his life and how he navigates them and grows through them. You guys are doing great. I know you’ll find your way.
Hi Kristi,
This sounds like the fruit of True Love to me.
God bless you two and all will be well as you all go with God.
Bless you, C-Marie
Kristi, go by ship … add to the adventure and Smokey will be happy too!
Hello again,
When we had our commercial tropical fruit farm in Hawaii, which we bought in our 50’s, we eventually realized, like Jean Marc, that the physical labor required was better suited to younger people. Some workable options, (some expressed by PJ Albert in the reply to Jean Marc’s post, and which bear repeating,) are to consider leasing or renting the vineyard to others, while staying in your home and garden there, allowing JM to consult or find other ways of being active in viticulture. My in-laws have done this for decades with their farms in Virginia, allowing them to keep the land in the family for future generations, while deriving an income without the physical labor. We also regularly saw this in effect on farm land in Hawaii. There are also young people interested in learning how to farm/grow grapes, who might love to intern in your vineyard in exchange for the training and lodging (check out http://wwoofinternational.org/). Maybe there is a combination of these ideas—-agri-tourism is a thing for a reason (probably many of them). Bonne chance, mes amies.
Sometimes those familiar lines come back to comfort us in our hours of need. “All that remains of us is love”. And Home is where the heart is”. Much love to you both. Tout passe. Margaret
One thing, in particular, caught my eye in your posting today. Smokey. Please do not ever consider putting Smokey in the hold of an aircraft. Having said that, could you not sell the land, keep your house and garden, and stay in that wonderful part of the world. Having left my own country many years ago now, and after losing my husband, I thought of returning to UK, but my dogs decided it for me, amongst other things, and here I stay and am content. It sounds as if you love your surroundings, and maybe, given JM’s depression, such a huge move (to the USA) would be very bewildering for him after the newness had worn off. Regardless of my opinions, I know that all will work out for the best, whatever you decide. xxx
Looking at maps, the act of intrepid travelers, explorers of life. Here is a link to one of my favorites from the United States Geological Survey (USGS), the U.S. version of the French Institute Geographique Nationale (IGN). Go to their online store to download free topographic and other maps.
Tapestry of Time and Terrain (USGS) http://pubs.usgs.gov/imap/i2781/
Enjoy! Bill Miller, Santa Rosa, CA
Kristi –
As you well know, the United States is a massive country. Some states are larger than many European nations. Why do I mention this? Because there is so much to explore here. Each area has its own micro-culture; some good, some not so good, but there are many, many decisions you’ll have to make. I agree with the poster who suggested you do a “Jean-Marc and Kristi Victory Tour” around the country. You may find that a place you would have dismissed out-of-hand has a magic quality you would never have expected. I grew up in the beautiful Hudson River Valley. I always thought it was a great place to live: very rural and lovely, a two hour train ride to NYC, a 4 hour drive to the Adirondacks, further out west Niagara Falls and on and on. My home town of Rhinebeck, NY is where the Astor’s had a mansion and more recently Chelsea Clinton got married. Franklin Roosevelt lived just down the road a bit. And though development has chipped away at some of the land, there are still places you can go to and it’ll seem like you’re in the wilderness. And it is full of history. Oh, and not for nothing, vineyards have started to pop up in the Valley over the last 20 years or so.
Whatever you guys do and wherever you go, be certain that you have a whole raft of friends in the US, just waiting to meet you!
Ron
Mudita. I love that! So many of us feel that for you and J-M as you embark on this new adventure in your life. I have had to take the leap several times in my life and, while some have gone better than others, I have also stumbled upon unexpected delights and discovered new depths within myself. I wish this for you both, too!
As for the bears . . .I live in bear country in the mountains of New Mexico. They are terribly afraid of people and we have never once had a “close call” in the 24 years we’ve been here.
Bonne chance et bon courage!
A WONDERFUL place to live is in the wine country of Sonoma, north of San Francisco. Hundreds of wineries, organic agriculture. you can garden almost year round, close to the ocean and San Francisco.
IRIS
Look before you leap!
Might I add these two words to your lovely (thanks for enlightening us!) mudita? Caritas – Latin, “to earnestly desire the achievement of wholeness by the beloved” and the root of comfort – from the Latin con fortis, “to be strong with.”
BTW, you two are tossing about some of the same cities I have been – Portland, Denver, Bozeman. Though I think Bozeman might be too much winter and with no where remotely near by when I do want my city fix. I have added to my confusion by considering also Boulder, Boston, Portland (Maine) and Charlottesville.
But, you bring with you true love and each other, and that makes quite the difference.