Photo of Jean-Marc with the kitties, who went missing. My son and his friend Anto helped come up with this list of Ways to say you are hurting, but often the look on one's face is enough to convey the message of tristesse, or sadness.
Les differentes expressions pour exprimer la souffrance/
Expressions to express suffering:
je suis triste = I am sad
ça ne va pas du tout = things aren't going well at all
ce n'est pas la forme = not feeling so great
je déprime = I'm depressed
je ne me sens pas bien = I don't feel well
Audio File: listen to Anto read the list of Ways to Say you are Sad in French
Download MP3 or Wav
A Day in a FRENCH Life… by Kristin Espinasse
The cats are gone. There is no gentler way to say it, not even to myself. For those who wrote in when we first got Pancho and Lily, warning us to keep our cats indoors–please don't say I told you so! I couldn't feel any worse than I already do and any reminders would only kick at my heart.
Pancho and Lily went missing Thursday, hours before they were scheduled to be spayed and neutered. I know, I should have had them locked in the house. Instead, our 5-and-a-half month old cats were enjoying their morning ritual: climbing the olive and fig trees in our yard and chasing Smokey's tail as he sat wagging it below the clothesline, watching his human pin up socks and underwear en étendant le linge.
The last time I saw Pancho I was heading back from the clothesline. I set down my panier à linge and collected our cat into my arms. Like a warm towel fresh off the line, he felt so good. Pancho is the cuddlier of the two chats and we have a soft spot for him as he suffers from separation anxiety, or la névrose d'abandon. (He was not 5 weeks old when given to us and the emotional scars were evident in the way he suckled all the time–his paw or my hand or the pillow case–anything to get back that feeling of mama's closeness).
Pancho, left, Lily (his sister) is on the right.
After a good long câlin, we all went about our duties for the day: for me, there was a post to write about our recent trip to Serre Chevalier, for Smokey there was the business of chewing on sticks (or what he likes to pretend to be "flute practice") and for Pancho and Lily there were trees to climb, dangling laundry to swat at and the vegetable patch (so much fun to burst through the parsley "curtains," startling the gardener on the other side. How I fall for the cats' antics every time!).
By lunchtime, I had finished my post and was slapping together a sandwich in our makeshift kitchen (the living room, where we're camping out during renovations) when a distant questioning ricocheted through my mind: Mais où sont les chats?
I didn't worry too much about it, thinking that we'd soon cross paths again. Still, it was strange that Pancho and Lily had not eaten the treat Jean-Marc had left them in their bowls. The chicken skin was still there, untouched.
After lunch and a short nap, I had set out to weed the kitchen garden when that nagging doubt came back as I worked my way around le persil, or parsley: Mais où sont les chats?
That is when reality hit. Pancho and Lily were gone!
A sickly feeling came over me. A horrible intuition that they hadn't just run off…. Perhaps it was paranoia, but I could not help feeling our cats were the victim of foul play.
"Not foul play!" Jean-Marc assured me (though birds were–in my husband's opinion–a key to this mystery. Had the cats' instincts kicked in, and now they were off with the birds of springtime? And speaking of instincts, was the vet correct when she guessed the cats had sensed the upcoming sterilization–and disappeared so as to avoid it?).
I thought about one or the other explanations. I remembered waking up that morning of the doctor's appointment, and my husband's comment. "Listen!" he said, "Can you hear the birds? C'est le printemps!" We had lingered there in bed, listening to the chirp parade going on outside our window. The birdsong made me giddy and I bounded out of bed, intent on rejoicing for this, the day that God had made!
But by evening there was not one high note left to reach for. No more birdsong–only a deadpan atmosphere. Even the dogs looked depressed, huddled beside the front door. As I turned the lock, my ears trembled from the sound of la fermeture. The cats were still on the other side… somewhere.
Normally at this point in these missives, the story would lift. The stories always lift! And then there is a happy ending. But at this point, after last night's heavy rainfall–and still no cats this morning–the only way for that to happen would be, for once, to not end this histoire.
And isn't that what Hope is?: a never-ending story.
* * *
I moved Pancho and Lily's bed outside. All their belongings are intact, inside. Brushing my teeth this morning, I stumbled over their jingle-bell ball. Reaching down to pick it up, I wondered where to put it.
Comments and a Post Note: Thank you for your support. I really need it at this time. I apologize to cat lovers out there, whose hearts are as heavy as mine is this morning. I didn't mean to let you down. From the moment these cats came into our care, I took their well-being to heart, giving Pancho and Lily all I could. If, as some of you may say, I am responsible for their demise by choosing to let them play outside, then I will have to live with this horror in my heart.
In the backyard potager, where roquette, or arugula, is blossoming, Smokey is on the lookout for Lily, for where Lily goes, Pancho follows.
French Vocabulary
en étendant le linge = while hanging out the laundry
le panier à linge = laundry basket
le câlin = the cuddle, hug
mais où sont les chats? = but where are the cats?
le persil = parsley
c'est le printemps = it's springtime
la fermeture = closing
l'histoire (f) = story
le potager = kitchen garden, vegetable patch
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Kristen, my heart shares your pain. Please don’t beat yourself up. Cats have long lived out of doors, and sometimes you just can’t prevent bad things from happening. Your loving them, and their loving you is grace enough. From a friend in Portland, Oregon, USA.
Kristen, my heart shares your pain. Please don’t beat yourself up. Cats have long lived out of doors, and sometimes you just can’t prevent bad things from happening. Your loving them, and their loving you is grace enough. From a friend in Portland, Oregon, USA.
I am very sorry to learn of your sad, sad day. Keep hope alive, though. I had a cat, Scruffy, many years ago. He was a barn cat at the garden center where I worked, so old his teeth were nubs. When I married, I brought him with me to my new home an hour away. When I opened the carrier door, he immediately ran out, scaled the fence, and disappeared. It was November, in Northeast Ohio. I, like you, was devastated. Three months later, on a cold February night, Scruffy showed up on the doorstep, and never strayed again. So, keep calling them, let the dogs sniff around, spreading their scent, and hopefully your babies will be home soon.
I am very sorry to learn of your sad, sad day. Keep hope alive, though. I had a cat, Scruffy, many years ago. He was a barn cat at the garden center where I worked, so old his teeth were nubs. When I married, I brought him with me to my new home an hour away. When I opened the carrier door, he immediately ran out, scaled the fence, and disappeared. It was November, in Northeast Ohio. I, like you, was devastated. Three months later, on a cold February night, Scruffy showed up on the doorstep, and never strayed again. So, keep calling them, let the dogs sniff around, spreading their scent, and hopefully your babies will be home soon.
Kristin, I am praying, praying, praying for the return of your precious kitties! Please know that you have given them a lovely home with much joy. Be sure to check with all the neighbors and surrounding areas. I will continue to hold out hope. Much love to you!
Kristin, I am praying, praying, praying for the return of your precious kitties! Please know that you have given them a lovely home with much joy. Be sure to check with all the neighbors and surrounding areas. I will continue to hold out hope. Much love to you!
Qu’ils reviennnent bientot ! Je pense a votre famille. Carolyn
Qu’ils reviennnent bientot ! Je pense a votre famille. Carolyn
Our cats frequently did disappearing acts so hopefully yours will return soon !
In relation to your last entry – I loved the story and photos .
Just learned yesterday of some great apps for photos on the smartphone :
(Snapseed ; pixtr and quiki).
I enjoy all your heartfelt stories.
Our cats frequently did disappearing acts so hopefully yours will return soon !
In relation to your last entry – I loved the story and photos .
Just learned yesterday of some great apps for photos on the smartphone :
(Snapseed ; pixtr and quiki).
I enjoy all your heartfelt stories.
Dearest Kristen , believe it or not I just wrote a Very long post to you and then edited it and low and behold, once I pressed post, I had run out of time and reversing the page did not bring back my long letter to you. Hope this makes you laugh! I want you to know that as hard as we try we are not able to be perfect and despite our best efforts to protect our loved ones all the time , it’s impossible . Please try not to blame yourself…..and don’t give up on those two little characters. They are very young and silly and I bet one of your neighbors will spot them together and return them to your loving arms. We send you our prayers and love, Lynn and Geoffrey in Rancho mirage ca. I will write again to tell you the tale of our 15 yr old English spaniel Mindy and her latest adventure which “thank God” has had a happy conclusion .
Dearest Kristen , believe it or not I just wrote a Very long post to you and then edited it and low and behold, once I pressed post, I had run out of time and reversing the page did not bring back my long letter to you. Hope this makes you laugh! I want you to know that as hard as we try we are not able to be perfect and despite our best efforts to protect our loved ones all the time , it’s impossible . Please try not to blame yourself…..and don’t give up on those two little characters. They are very young and silly and I bet one of your neighbors will spot them together and return them to your loving arms. We send you our prayers and love, Lynn and Geoffrey in Rancho mirage ca. I will write again to tell you the tale of our 15 yr old English spaniel Mindy and her latest adventure which “thank God” has had a happy conclusion .
Kristin, I will just add a story to this loving long list during this difficult time. My friend Claire – who is veternarian! – lost her cat Suki who somehow got out of the house. Suki was gone for 10 DAYS. As he is partially paralyzed we all feared the worst. But then on the 11th morning, he showed up, hardly any worse for the wear. I will pray that the same happens for your two.
Sending Love and Strength,
Heather
Kristin, I will just add a story to this loving long list during this difficult time. My friend Claire – who is veternarian! – lost her cat Suki who somehow got out of the house. Suki was gone for 10 DAYS. As he is partially paralyzed we all feared the worst. But then on the 11th morning, he showed up, hardly any worse for the wear. I will pray that the same happens for your two.
Sending Love and Strength,
Heather
Kristen:
You’ve gotten a lot of chat support here, but I’ll add one more story. Our Russian Blue Dimitri lived with us for several years in the mountains of Colorado west of Denver. In the fall of 1999 he took off (he was an inside cat but just got out)and was gone for 9 days. In our area we had fox, coyotes, mountain lion, bear, hawks, eagles, etc. You get the picture. Anyway after nine days he just showed up on our door step and has been with us ever since. You even met him briefly when we came to see you at Rouge Bleau on our way back from Menton a few years ago. He is now a professional barge cat and in retirement (at the age of 17 1/2) but still a cat. With cats there is always hope. They can and do come back after these “walkabouts.”
Randy and Debbie Komisarek
Bateau “Alouette”
Roanne, France
Kristen:
You’ve gotten a lot of chat support here, but I’ll add one more story. Our Russian Blue Dimitri lived with us for several years in the mountains of Colorado west of Denver. In the fall of 1999 he took off (he was an inside cat but just got out)and was gone for 9 days. In our area we had fox, coyotes, mountain lion, bear, hawks, eagles, etc. You get the picture. Anyway after nine days he just showed up on our door step and has been with us ever since. You even met him briefly when we came to see you at Rouge Bleau on our way back from Menton a few years ago. He is now a professional barge cat and in retirement (at the age of 17 1/2) but still a cat. With cats there is always hope. They can and do come back after these “walkabouts.”
Randy and Debbie Komisarek
Bateau “Alouette”
Roanne, France
The two of them gone? On the same day?? That’s distinctly odd. However, don’t beat yourself up, lose hope or get paranoid. Just ask questions (gently) of neighbours and acquaintances (particularly their children, who get about more), put up flyers with photos offering a reward for the cats’safe return and most importantly, go out into your wide surrounding area every evening for weeks and call quietly. You already know about leaving out their favourite food at night. I found a lost cat after over a month and a half by doing all of the above. (You may get some loonies telephoning you, but I have the feeling you can handle that!)
I’ll pray for Pancho and Lily’s safe return, and your own peace of mind. Remember, you’ve got a LOT of people sending you their good vibes!
The two of them gone? On the same day?? That’s distinctly odd. However, don’t beat yourself up, lose hope or get paranoid. Just ask questions (gently) of neighbours and acquaintances (particularly their children, who get about more), put up flyers with photos offering a reward for the cats’safe return and most importantly, go out into your wide surrounding area every evening for weeks and call quietly. You already know about leaving out their favourite food at night. I found a lost cat after over a month and a half by doing all of the above. (You may get some loonies telephoning you, but I have the feeling you can handle that!)
I’ll pray for Pancho and Lily’s safe return, and your own peace of mind. Remember, you’ve got a LOT of people sending you their good vibes!
Please do not be so hard on yourself, Kristin. Cats will be cats. One of ours escaped a couple of years ago but made it home safe and sound, although a bit skinnier! They are survivors. Thank you for a lovely story. There aren’t always happy endings in life, but you gave them a lot of love!
Please do not be so hard on yourself, Kristin. Cats will be cats. One of ours escaped a couple of years ago but made it home safe and sound, although a bit skinnier! They are survivors. Thank you for a lovely story. There aren’t always happy endings in life, but you gave them a lot of love!
I keep checking my email for an update that the cats have made their way back to you. This story touched me so deeply.
I have a friend whose cat got locked in the neighbors garage for over a week. Someone heard the mewing and broke down the door – as the neighbors were on holiday. I think they’ll come back. Lighting candles for you and your family again today.
I keep checking my email for an update that the cats have made their way back to you. This story touched me so deeply.
I have a friend whose cat got locked in the neighbors garage for over a week. Someone heard the mewing and broke down the door – as the neighbors were on holiday. I think they’ll come back. Lighting candles for you and your family again today.
Like Aleta, I also keep coming back to check for such an update. I am finally appealing to Saint Francis of Assissi and Saint Anthony of Padua.
Those precious little kittens need protection and a way back home!
Like Aleta, I also keep coming back to check for such an update. I am finally appealing to Saint Francis of Assissi and Saint Anthony of Padua.
Those precious little kittens need protection and a way back home!
Kristen:
Do NOT feel guilty. I know you are a huge animal lover and so kind. Cats are a challenge for people who feel deeply for animals..because some cats are born to be outside and to deny them that joy is really hard. I have 3 cats and one cat I just cannot keep inside. In my opinion she would be miserable and life would not be worth living for her. I’ve had her for 7 years now. I feel your pain. However, like the other readers have mentioned, cats do come back…sometimes days or weeks later. Let all your neighbours know. Go for long bike rides and call out for them. I have a feeling they will come back soon. Hugs to you.
Kristen:
Do NOT feel guilty. I know you are a huge animal lover and so kind. Cats are a challenge for people who feel deeply for animals..because some cats are born to be outside and to deny them that joy is really hard. I have 3 cats and one cat I just cannot keep inside. In my opinion she would be miserable and life would not be worth living for her. I’ve had her for 7 years now. I feel your pain. However, like the other readers have mentioned, cats do come back…sometimes days or weeks later. Let all your neighbours know. Go for long bike rides and call out for them. I have a feeling they will come back soon. Hugs to you.
Dear Kristin,
I’m so sorry to hear of the disappearance of your kitties. I had one cat disappear so I can sympathize with your distress. However, I have had several cats before and after the one loss and firmly believe that cats should be allowed to play outside when they live in a non-urban area. You did the right thing and I just hope they return from an adventure and are not gone for good. Keep hoping for the best.
Bises,
Edie in Brunswick, Maine
Dear Kristin,
I’m so sorry to hear of the disappearance of your kitties. I had one cat disappear so I can sympathize with your distress. However, I have had several cats before and after the one loss and firmly believe that cats should be allowed to play outside when they live in a non-urban area. You did the right thing and I just hope they return from an adventure and are not gone for good. Keep hoping for the best.
Bises,
Edie in Brunswick, Maine
Hi Kristin,
Oh, I feel for you! Remember that animals are very intuitive and may surprise you in their abilities to find their way back. My Dutch friend brought a cat back from Spain, only to have it consistently start walking in the precise direction of its home. Thinking good thoughts that they are just off for a little adventure! xoxo
Hi Kristin,
Oh, I feel for you! Remember that animals are very intuitive and may surprise you in their abilities to find their way back. My Dutch friend brought a cat back from Spain, only to have it consistently start walking in the precise direction of its home. Thinking good thoughts that they are just off for a little adventure! xoxo
Two days isn’t so long, so don’t worry too much. Our 22 year old cat (who happens to be blind!) went missing for 4 days. My husband walked the neighborhood for 2 days calling out his name, thinking it was futile. And then the 5th morning, he woke up to find our little buddy on the back doorstep. Walk around the far edges of your land and call their names – long and loud. They might just have strayed far enough not to be able to find their way home. But they might hear you and follow your voice. Two days is too soon to give up. Good luck .
Two days isn’t so long, so don’t worry too much. Our 22 year old cat (who happens to be blind!) went missing for 4 days. My husband walked the neighborhood for 2 days calling out his name, thinking it was futile. And then the 5th morning, he woke up to find our little buddy on the back doorstep. Walk around the far edges of your land and call their names – long and loud. They might just have strayed far enough not to be able to find their way home. But they might hear you and follow your voice. Two days is too soon to give up. Good luck .
Dear Kristin,
I just read about your little darlings and prayed right away! They will be back! Yes they will! Hope springs eternal. Hope and pray. You are loved and you are LOVE and all shall be well.
xoxoxo
Dear Kristin,
I just read about your little darlings and prayed right away! They will be back! Yes they will! Hope springs eternal. Hope and pray. You are loved and you are LOVE and all shall be well.
xoxoxo
Chere Kristin, Please do not despair and do not blame yourself. It may be possible to keep in kittens that never explored the great outdoors, but once they have experienced nature, especially in the country, it becomes almost impossible to restrict them. I lost a beautiful white stray we had adopted for 5 years one foggy full-moon night when he cried and cried to be let into the back yard. I felt that I had not protected him, yet I know how miserable he would be not to experience the sensory pleasures the outdoors brings to all living things.
Chere Kristin, Please do not despair and do not blame yourself. It may be possible to keep in kittens that never explored the great outdoors, but once they have experienced nature, especially in the country, it becomes almost impossible to restrict them. I lost a beautiful white stray we had adopted for 5 years one foggy full-moon night when he cried and cried to be let into the back yard. I felt that I had not protected him, yet I know how miserable he would be not to experience the sensory pleasures the outdoors brings to all living things.
We live near conservation and our cat would leave for days. She did not have front claws but could get up a tree just as fast with out. Keep the HOPE.
We live near conservation and our cat would leave for days. She did not have front claws but could get up a tree just as fast with out. Keep the HOPE.
I am feeling your pain hopefully when you next post they will have been returned. We have four cats and one always wants to be outdoors .it is not my wish but his life is as an outdoor cat . We can keep them as safe as we can but not at the expense of their happiness. Is it possible that some one locked them in a barn or out building? Our gut has stayed out all night and we think this is a possability. You have done nothing wrong they are being kittens and exploring . I hope they return.
I am feeling your pain hopefully when you next post they will have been returned. We have four cats and one always wants to be outdoors .it is not my wish but his life is as an outdoor cat . We can keep them as safe as we can but not at the expense of their happiness. Is it possible that some one locked them in a barn or out building? Our gut has stayed out all night and we think this is a possability. You have done nothing wrong they are being kittens and exploring . I hope they return.
Dear Kristen, I’ve been reading your blog now for about six months and I’ve never commented before, but today’s post compelled me to write. I’ve never had cats since I’m allergic but I have loved several dogs in my life and can only imagine the pain I would feel if they got away. I will pray for the cats to return or for you to find them. Please know that God cares for all of His creatures, even the tiniest sparrow. You gave the cats a wonderful life and I so enjoyed seeing them play outside. Those were happy cats! God bless you and your family!
Dear Kristen, I’ve been reading your blog now for about six months and I’ve never commented before, but today’s post compelled me to write. I’ve never had cats since I’m allergic but I have loved several dogs in my life and can only imagine the pain I would feel if they got away. I will pray for the cats to return or for you to find them. Please know that God cares for all of His creatures, even the tiniest sparrow. You gave the cats a wonderful life and I so enjoyed seeing them play outside. Those were happy cats! God bless you and your family!
Do be sure to search thoroughly with your dog
in the surrounding area just in case they are
trapped or injured somewhere. I think if they are not back in 24 hours something has likely
happened. Do post pictures of them around the
area, too, especially at vets and any rescue places. I know cats are completely safe inside but they just do not have the life quality of those permitted some freedom. Malheureusement ce sont des choses qui arrivent. Absolutely NOT your fault. You are a lovely cat mother. Nothing you should have done differently. Lots of miracles do occur
around cats and dogs – they are rather magical. Praying to see them in their basket
soon. Lois
Do be sure to search thoroughly with your dog
in the surrounding area just in case they are
trapped or injured somewhere. I think if they are not back in 24 hours something has likely
happened. Do post pictures of them around the
area, too, especially at vets and any rescue places. I know cats are completely safe inside but they just do not have the life quality of those permitted some freedom. Malheureusement ce sont des choses qui arrivent. Absolutely NOT your fault. You are a lovely cat mother. Nothing you should have done differently. Lots of miracles do occur
around cats and dogs – they are rather magical. Praying to see them in their basket
soon. Lois
So sorry. Say some prayers to St. Anthony, the patron of “lost things.” My beautiful Tonkinese cats Molly (who is no longer with us) and Maggie got lost for a few hours at different times and that was very scary since they are little “hothouse flowers” I always think. But each time, they were found. Good luck.
Maureen
So sorry. Say some prayers to St. Anthony, the patron of “lost things.” My beautiful Tonkinese cats Molly (who is no longer with us) and Maggie got lost for a few hours at different times and that was very scary since they are little “hothouse flowers” I always think. But each time, they were found. Good luck.
Maureen
Dear Kristin,
I could barely read through your post with tears running down my cheeks. Cats do seem to have nine lives so, hopefully, they are living one of those and will return soon! Do put up signs in the neighborhood! Will be thinking of you and how difficult this must be for you and your family.
Bon Chance!
Dear Kristin,
I could barely read through your post with tears running down my cheeks. Cats do seem to have nine lives so, hopefully, they are living one of those and will return soon! Do put up signs in the neighborhood! Will be thinking of you and how difficult this must be for you and your family.
Bon Chance!
So sorry, Kristin. I know how you feel. Growing up, I had a cat that went missing for almost a week and then he returned home one morning unharmed. My thoughts are with you and your family. It’s not your fault. I’m sure they will be home safe and sound soon.
So sorry, Kristin. I know how you feel. Growing up, I had a cat that went missing for almost a week and then he returned home one morning unharmed. My thoughts are with you and your family. It’s not your fault. I’m sure they will be home safe and sound soon.