Photo of Jean-Marc with the kitties, who went missing. My son and his friend Anto helped come up with this list of Ways to say you are hurting, but often the look on one's face is enough to convey the message of tristesse, or sadness.
Les differentes expressions pour exprimer la souffrance/
Expressions to express suffering:
je suis triste = I am sad
ça ne va pas du tout = things aren't going well at all
ce n'est pas la forme = not feeling so great
je déprime = I'm depressed
je ne me sens pas bien = I don't feel well
Audio File: listen to Anto read the list of Ways to Say you are Sad in French
Download MP3 or Wav
A Day in a FRENCH Life… by Kristin Espinasse
The cats are gone. There is no gentler way to say it, not even to myself. For those who wrote in when we first got Pancho and Lily, warning us to keep our cats indoors–please don't say I told you so! I couldn't feel any worse than I already do and any reminders would only kick at my heart.
Pancho and Lily went missing Thursday, hours before they were scheduled to be spayed and neutered. I know, I should have had them locked in the house. Instead, our 5-and-a-half month old cats were enjoying their morning ritual: climbing the olive and fig trees in our yard and chasing Smokey's tail as he sat wagging it below the clothesline, watching his human pin up socks and underwear en étendant le linge.
The last time I saw Pancho I was heading back from the clothesline. I set down my panier à linge and collected our cat into my arms. Like a warm towel fresh off the line, he felt so good. Pancho is the cuddlier of the two chats and we have a soft spot for him as he suffers from separation anxiety, or la névrose d'abandon. (He was not 5 weeks old when given to us and the emotional scars were evident in the way he suckled all the time–his paw or my hand or the pillow case–anything to get back that feeling of mama's closeness).
Pancho, left, Lily (his sister) is on the right.
After a good long câlin, we all went about our duties for the day: for me, there was a post to write about our recent trip to Serre Chevalier, for Smokey there was the business of chewing on sticks (or what he likes to pretend to be "flute practice") and for Pancho and Lily there were trees to climb, dangling laundry to swat at and the vegetable patch (so much fun to burst through the parsley "curtains," startling the gardener on the other side. How I fall for the cats' antics every time!).
By lunchtime, I had finished my post and was slapping together a sandwich in our makeshift kitchen (the living room, where we're camping out during renovations) when a distant questioning ricocheted through my mind: Mais où sont les chats?
I didn't worry too much about it, thinking that we'd soon cross paths again. Still, it was strange that Pancho and Lily had not eaten the treat Jean-Marc had left them in their bowls. The chicken skin was still there, untouched.
After lunch and a short nap, I had set out to weed the kitchen garden when that nagging doubt came back as I worked my way around le persil, or parsley: Mais où sont les chats?
That is when reality hit. Pancho and Lily were gone!
A sickly feeling came over me. A horrible intuition that they hadn't just run off…. Perhaps it was paranoia, but I could not help feeling our cats were the victim of foul play.
"Not foul play!" Jean-Marc assured me (though birds were–in my husband's opinion–a key to this mystery. Had the cats' instincts kicked in, and now they were off with the birds of springtime? And speaking of instincts, was the vet correct when she guessed the cats had sensed the upcoming sterilization–and disappeared so as to avoid it?).
I thought about one or the other explanations. I remembered waking up that morning of the doctor's appointment, and my husband's comment. "Listen!" he said, "Can you hear the birds? C'est le printemps!" We had lingered there in bed, listening to the chirp parade going on outside our window. The birdsong made me giddy and I bounded out of bed, intent on rejoicing for this, the day that God had made!
But by evening there was not one high note left to reach for. No more birdsong–only a deadpan atmosphere. Even the dogs looked depressed, huddled beside the front door. As I turned the lock, my ears trembled from the sound of la fermeture. The cats were still on the other side… somewhere.
Normally at this point in these missives, the story would lift. The stories always lift! And then there is a happy ending. But at this point, after last night's heavy rainfall–and still no cats this morning–the only way for that to happen would be, for once, to not end this histoire.
And isn't that what Hope is?: a never-ending story.
* * *
I moved Pancho and Lily's bed outside. All their belongings are intact, inside. Brushing my teeth this morning, I stumbled over their jingle-bell ball. Reaching down to pick it up, I wondered where to put it.
Comments and a Post Note: Thank you for your support. I really need it at this time. I apologize to cat lovers out there, whose hearts are as heavy as mine is this morning. I didn't mean to let you down. From the moment these cats came into our care, I took their well-being to heart, giving Pancho and Lily all I could. If, as some of you may say, I am responsible for their demise by choosing to let them play outside, then I will have to live with this horror in my heart.
In the backyard potager, where roquette, or arugula, is blossoming, Smokey is on the lookout for Lily, for where Lily goes, Pancho follows.
French Vocabulary
en étendant le linge = while hanging out the laundry
le panier à linge = laundry basket
le câlin = the cuddle, hug
mais où sont les chats? = but where are the cats?
le persil = parsley
c'est le printemps = it's springtime
la fermeture = closing
l'histoire (f) = story
le potager = kitchen garden, vegetable patch
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Sorry to read your sad news, I do agree with your readers’ comments that you should not feel guilty. Cats should be allowed to go outdoors, especially if you live in the country as we do. My cat sometimes will disappear for several days at a time. Right about the time I start to get really worried for her she shows back up. I believe they can go pretty far and still find their way home. I once was given a cat by a friend who was planning on moving and couldn’t take her cat with her. I kept her indoors for a couple of weeks until she felt established in her new home (or so I thought) but once I let her out, she never came back. I was too embarrassed to tell my friend that our cat was missing until she approached me and said the cat showed up at her door which was at least 15 miles from my house. Stay hopeful, and do follow the advice of your other readers, checking possible places they could have been locked up in, asking around etc. I am praying for a joyous sequel to this story, but it may take a few days.
Sorry to read your sad news, I do agree with your readers’ comments that you should not feel guilty. Cats should be allowed to go outdoors, especially if you live in the country as we do. My cat sometimes will disappear for several days at a time. Right about the time I start to get really worried for her she shows back up. I believe they can go pretty far and still find their way home. I once was given a cat by a friend who was planning on moving and couldn’t take her cat with her. I kept her indoors for a couple of weeks until she felt established in her new home (or so I thought) but once I let her out, she never came back. I was too embarrassed to tell my friend that our cat was missing until she approached me and said the cat showed up at her door which was at least 15 miles from my house. Stay hopeful, and do follow the advice of your other readers, checking possible places they could have been locked up in, asking around etc. I am praying for a joyous sequel to this story, but it may take a few days.
Our cat disappeared for 10 days. I just knew she was gone forever – it was also raining during that time. Never underestimate a cat. The best to you.
Our cat disappeared for 10 days. I just knew she was gone forever – it was also raining during that time. Never underestimate a cat. The best to you.
They’ll be back! Cats love a loving home and I can’t help but think they will return. They are off having some fun, but will want to return to their home-
They’ll be back! Cats love a loving home and I can’t help but think they will return. They are off having some fun, but will want to return to their home-
Kristen – sending ((hugs)) your way and praying for the kitties to return safely.
Kristen – sending ((hugs)) your way and praying for the kitties to return safely.
I dearly hope that your two chats will show up in a day or two!! I completely believe that your love for them was deep. Just a “note of advice” for when they return (as I hope they will!), We, too, see how much joy it brings our FOUR chats (yes! We realize that’s excessive, but these are all strays who found us and needed care!). We do, also, let our cats enjoy the outdoors, BUT we really watch them and they’re only allowed out into our fenced backyard while we are out there with them. When we come in, they come in too ). I say this NOT TO HEAP GUILT ON YOU, but as a way to help you avoid future heartache! Please don’t be hard on yourself!! You gave them love and good care. I still think they’ll remember that and long for that and so will return to you! I’ll pray for that!
I dearly hope that your two chats will show up in a day or two!! I completely believe that your love for them was deep. Just a “note of advice” for when they return (as I hope they will!), We, too, see how much joy it brings our FOUR chats (yes! We realize that’s excessive, but these are all strays who found us and needed care!). We do, also, let our cats enjoy the outdoors, BUT we really watch them and they’re only allowed out into our fenced backyard while we are out there with them. When we come in, they come in too ). I say this NOT TO HEAP GUILT ON YOU, but as a way to help you avoid future heartache! Please don’t be hard on yourself!! You gave them love and good care. I still think they’ll remember that and long for that and so will return to you! I’ll pray for that!
I certainly do NOT agree with you Jetagain.
Mother Nature has done a wo wonderful job (before we might destroyed it) and that is probably why we are so lucky to have food in our plate.
Our two kittens have left…maybe because it was their natural instinct, maybe because something bad happened,,who knows ?
We “like” to think that wherever they are, they are happy.
I certainly do NOT agree with you Jetagain.
Mother Nature has done a wo wonderful job (before we might destroyed it) and that is probably why we are so lucky to have food in our plate.
Our two kittens have left…maybe because it was their natural instinct, maybe because something bad happened,,who knows ?
We “like” to think that wherever they are, they are happy.
Giving my 3 fab furry felines extra love today…..
My heart is traveling 6,000 miles to you today Kristen .
Ken
Napa Valley
Giving my 3 fab furry felines extra love today…..
My heart is traveling 6,000 miles to you today Kristen .
Ken
Napa Valley
Three days, Kristen. They usually come back in three days. Maybe a day or two more.
Roseann
Three days, Kristen. They usually come back in three days. Maybe a day or two more.
Roseann
I was raised to be stoical, but the loss of our pets always put me
into a quiet storm and sometimes flat on my back so grief-stricken;
likewise my adult son when the Basset Hound he rescued died pre-
maturely of a stroke. I echo the readers who say “bon courage” and hope for a safe return. Joanne, Carmel-by-the-Sea.
I was raised to be stoical, but the loss of our pets always put me
into a quiet storm and sometimes flat on my back so grief-stricken;
likewise my adult son when the Basset Hound he rescued died pre-
maturely of a stroke. I echo the readers who say “bon courage” and hope for a safe return. Joanne, Carmel-by-the-Sea.
This same thing happened to us here in Connecticut. Finally, what I found helped me the most was actually praying to our pets who have passed … Asking them to help guide our lost ones home. Guess what? It worked! Just “Keep the Faith” Kristin. It is the best comfort of all.
This same thing happened to us here in Connecticut. Finally, what I found helped me the most was actually praying to our pets who have passed … Asking them to help guide our lost ones home. Guess what? It worked! Just “Keep the Faith” Kristin. It is the best comfort of all.
Kristen,
Sending you a big hug and positive karma. I too have been reading your posts for years and never commented but today I had to let you know how sad I feel for you with Pancho and Lily missing. I have two indoor/outdoor cats, Blacky and Tigger and I know in my heart for them one day outside to climb trees and lay in the sun is worth a lifetime sitting on a sofa. Keep that in mind and don’t lose hope. Bon courage
Kristen,
Sending you a big hug and positive karma. I too have been reading your posts for years and never commented but today I had to let you know how sad I feel for you with Pancho and Lily missing. I have two indoor/outdoor cats, Blacky and Tigger and I know in my heart for them one day outside to climb trees and lay in the sun is worth a lifetime sitting on a sofa. Keep that in mind and don’t lose hope. Bon courage
Pancho and Lily are off on a springtime adventure. My mother used to say that I led my twin brother on adventures, so maybe Lily led Pancho. Either way, I think that there is a very good chance that they will return in a few days. My thoughts are with you for I know how much we all love our pets.
Pancho and Lily are off on a springtime adventure. My mother used to say that I led my twin brother on adventures, so maybe Lily led Pancho. Either way, I think that there is a very good chance that they will return in a few days. My thoughts are with you for I know how much we all love our pets.
Kristin:
Hope the chats return. Perhaps they have not strayed far. Once when we thought we had lost one of our kitties,we found her up the street,hiding under a neighbor’s porch,frightened and confused.She was happy to see us.
We are pet-less at the moment but miss those furry companions.
Edie from Savannah
Kristin:
Hope the chats return. Perhaps they have not strayed far. Once when we thought we had lost one of our kitties,we found her up the street,hiding under a neighbor’s porch,frightened and confused.She was happy to see us.
We are pet-less at the moment but miss those furry companions.
Edie from Savannah
Don’t give up. Ask all the neighbors….all of them and take a picture of them with you. Post photos around the area. Someone may have taken them in out of the rain, or like someone else said…they may be hiding. And as far as letting them roam the property, it is a better life for them. They will learn their boundries, especially when they return or are returned to you. I really suspect someone has taken them in thinking they were lost. Just don’t give up. You didn’t give up on Smokey.
Don’t give up. Ask all the neighbors….all of them and take a picture of them with you. Post photos around the area. Someone may have taken them in out of the rain, or like someone else said…they may be hiding. And as far as letting them roam the property, it is a better life for them. They will learn their boundries, especially when they return or are returned to you. I really suspect someone has taken them in thinking they were lost. Just don’t give up. You didn’t give up on Smokey.
We all have to hope they will show up soon!
We all have to hope they will show up soon!
Kristin, my heart is as heavy as yours. Our pets are a reflection on us and they ARE family. I do hope that this never ending story will be a fairytale and that they will re emerge from their adventure unscathed. Be patient, be hopeful and above all be re assured that this is in no way anyone’s fault. Pancho and Lily will have a lot of explaining to do upon their return. x
Kristin, my heart is as heavy as yours. Our pets are a reflection on us and they ARE family. I do hope that this never ending story will be a fairytale and that they will re emerge from their adventure unscathed. Be patient, be hopeful and above all be re assured that this is in no way anyone’s fault. Pancho and Lily will have a lot of explaining to do upon their return. x
Our cat Cho Cho disappeared for 38 hours. She escaped out of our enclosed backyard. But she did come back. Cats like to have adventures, so I’m hoping that your two lovely cats will come back soon.
Our cat Cho Cho disappeared for 38 hours. She escaped out of our enclosed backyard. But she did come back. Cats like to have adventures, so I’m hoping that your two lovely cats will come back soon.
Kristin
By the time I finished reading your post, the tears were flowing like a river and my heart was heavy for your loss. I know that awful feeling and we have coyotes a plenty where I live so my remaining ones are now house pets, and the dog is always with me when I am outside. I have not lost a pet to the coyotes but my neighbors have. I do hope by some God -given miracle they return unharmed. If not may your heart heal with the love adding other pets who need a loving home, and prayers for the dear one’s who have gone astray.
Kristin
By the time I finished reading your post, the tears were flowing like a river and my heart was heavy for your loss. I know that awful feeling and we have coyotes a plenty where I live so my remaining ones are now house pets, and the dog is always with me when I am outside. I have not lost a pet to the coyotes but my neighbors have. I do hope by some God -given miracle they return unharmed. If not may your heart heal with the love adding other pets who need a loving home, and prayers for the dear one’s who have gone astray.
Wow – your grief touched a nerve. Thank you for sharing. Father, you love animals and know each one. Watch over these two dear balls of fur. Bring them back to Kristin or lead them safely to another cat lover. And give Kristin YOUR peace that she IS a good steward.
We are cat stewards, too! and each time one is sick, wanders off, or dies or we have to make that AWFUL decision to put one down, it hurts.
Maria
Wow – your grief touched a nerve. Thank you for sharing. Father, you love animals and know each one. Watch over these two dear balls of fur. Bring them back to Kristin or lead them safely to another cat lover. And give Kristin YOUR peace that she IS a good steward.
We are cat stewards, too! and each time one is sick, wanders off, or dies or we have to make that AWFUL decision to put one down, it hurts.
Maria
I am so sorry the cats took off. I am hoping they are just wandering around and will be back soon. It is hard not to feel guilty but don’t you gave them love and attention and such a good home. I will keep them in my heart that they will return to you soon. Sending HUGS your way.
I am so sorry the cats took off. I am hoping they are just wandering around and will be back soon. It is hard not to feel guilty but don’t you gave them love and attention and such a good home. I will keep them in my heart that they will return to you soon. Sending HUGS your way.
I’m so sorry about your cats, Kristin. Hopefully, they’ll turn up in a day or so, after their adventure.
Sandy
I’m so sorry about your cats, Kristin. Hopefully, they’ll turn up in a day or so, after their adventure.
Sandy
I am so sorry, dear friend, for your grief, worsened by your fear you have done something wrong here. You are not to blame. Please know you are loved and admired.
I am thinking it is quite the coincidence they disappear on the day of their appointment for their spay/neuter!?! I have experienced a “missing cat” many times with different outcomes. The most frequent scenario is spring; out hunting and playing in the woods and fields and forget to come home for a few days (or weeks). The first cat I adopted living on my own, disappeared for a month. I put up flyers, walked the fields looking for him, called into the dark depths of a hay silo, talked to neighbors and finally gave up hope. Then one typical Pacific Northwest rainy day he appeared franticly meowing at my door.
I hold you in my heart, wishing you peace, know that you have blessed these kittens with a good life and much love.
I am so sorry, dear friend, for your grief, worsened by your fear you have done something wrong here. You are not to blame. Please know you are loved and admired.
I am thinking it is quite the coincidence they disappear on the day of their appointment for their spay/neuter!?! I have experienced a “missing cat” many times with different outcomes. The most frequent scenario is spring; out hunting and playing in the woods and fields and forget to come home for a few days (or weeks). The first cat I adopted living on my own, disappeared for a month. I put up flyers, walked the fields looking for him, called into the dark depths of a hay silo, talked to neighbors and finally gave up hope. Then one typical Pacific Northwest rainy day he appeared franticly meowing at my door.
I hold you in my heart, wishing you peace, know that you have blessed these kittens with a good life and much love.
Our dear Kristi,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you always,but especially today.
Our four pawed kids are indeed part of our family,and to think of them in any other way except in our laps or arms absolutely rips out our hearts.
Please re read the last line of your post today about hope.This is one of the most beautiful and eloquently expressed statements that you have written.Your wisdom is one which we all will recall in difficult times.
J’espere aussi.
I send comfort,strength and my love.
Natalia
Our dear Kristi,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you always,but especially today.
Our four pawed kids are indeed part of our family,and to think of them in any other way except in our laps or arms absolutely rips out our hearts.
Please re read the last line of your post today about hope.This is one of the most beautiful and eloquently expressed statements that you have written.Your wisdom is one which we all will recall in difficult times.
J’espere aussi.
I send comfort,strength and my love.
Natalia
You said nothing about having canvassed the neighbourhood…….letting people know what they look like, their age, leaving phone numbers……..cats wander off and I don’t think they, at that age, are smart enough to know their way back.
You said nothing about having canvassed the neighbourhood…….letting people know what they look like, their age, leaving phone numbers……..cats wander off and I don’t think they, at that age, are smart enough to know their way back.
Kristen, It is not the chats that you have to worry about they will be fine. It’s the natural bird life that they will endanger and the fact that they are not de-sexed means they will breed…..and alas more wild feral cats!!!
Kristen, It is not the chats that you have to worry about they will be fine. It’s the natural bird life that they will endanger and the fact that they are not de-sexed means they will breed…..and alas more wild feral cats!!!