Photo of Jean-Marc with the kitties, who went missing. My son and his friend Anto helped come up with this list of Ways to say you are hurting, but often the look on one's face is enough to convey the message of tristesse, or sadness.
Les differentes expressions pour exprimer la souffrance/
Expressions to express suffering:
je suis triste = I am sad
ça ne va pas du tout = things aren't going well at all
ce n'est pas la forme = not feeling so great
je déprime = I'm depressed
je ne me sens pas bien = I don't feel well
Audio File: listen to Anto read the list of Ways to Say you are Sad in French
Download MP3 or Wav
A Day in a FRENCH Life… by Kristin Espinasse
The cats are gone. There is no gentler way to say it, not even to myself. For those who wrote in when we first got Pancho and Lily, warning us to keep our cats indoors–please don't say I told you so! I couldn't feel any worse than I already do and any reminders would only kick at my heart.
Pancho and Lily went missing Thursday, hours before they were scheduled to be spayed and neutered. I know, I should have had them locked in the house. Instead, our 5-and-a-half month old cats were enjoying their morning ritual: climbing the olive and fig trees in our yard and chasing Smokey's tail as he sat wagging it below the clothesline, watching his human pin up socks and underwear en étendant le linge.
The last time I saw Pancho I was heading back from the clothesline. I set down my panier à linge and collected our cat into my arms. Like a warm towel fresh off the line, he felt so good. Pancho is the cuddlier of the two chats and we have a soft spot for him as he suffers from separation anxiety, or la névrose d'abandon. (He was not 5 weeks old when given to us and the emotional scars were evident in the way he suckled all the time–his paw or my hand or the pillow case–anything to get back that feeling of mama's closeness).
Pancho, left, Lily (his sister) is on the right.
After a good long câlin, we all went about our duties for the day: for me, there was a post to write about our recent trip to Serre Chevalier, for Smokey there was the business of chewing on sticks (or what he likes to pretend to be "flute practice") and for Pancho and Lily there were trees to climb, dangling laundry to swat at and the vegetable patch (so much fun to burst through the parsley "curtains," startling the gardener on the other side. How I fall for the cats' antics every time!).
By lunchtime, I had finished my post and was slapping together a sandwich in our makeshift kitchen (the living room, where we're camping out during renovations) when a distant questioning ricocheted through my mind: Mais où sont les chats?
I didn't worry too much about it, thinking that we'd soon cross paths again. Still, it was strange that Pancho and Lily had not eaten the treat Jean-Marc had left them in their bowls. The chicken skin was still there, untouched.
After lunch and a short nap, I had set out to weed the kitchen garden when that nagging doubt came back as I worked my way around le persil, or parsley: Mais où sont les chats?
That is when reality hit. Pancho and Lily were gone!
A sickly feeling came over me. A horrible intuition that they hadn't just run off…. Perhaps it was paranoia, but I could not help feeling our cats were the victim of foul play.
"Not foul play!" Jean-Marc assured me (though birds were–in my husband's opinion–a key to this mystery. Had the cats' instincts kicked in, and now they were off with the birds of springtime? And speaking of instincts, was the vet correct when she guessed the cats had sensed the upcoming sterilization–and disappeared so as to avoid it?).
I thought about one or the other explanations. I remembered waking up that morning of the doctor's appointment, and my husband's comment. "Listen!" he said, "Can you hear the birds? C'est le printemps!" We had lingered there in bed, listening to the chirp parade going on outside our window. The birdsong made me giddy and I bounded out of bed, intent on rejoicing for this, the day that God had made!
But by evening there was not one high note left to reach for. No more birdsong–only a deadpan atmosphere. Even the dogs looked depressed, huddled beside the front door. As I turned the lock, my ears trembled from the sound of la fermeture. The cats were still on the other side… somewhere.
Normally at this point in these missives, the story would lift. The stories always lift! And then there is a happy ending. But at this point, after last night's heavy rainfall–and still no cats this morning–the only way for that to happen would be, for once, to not end this histoire.
And isn't that what Hope is?: a never-ending story.
* * *
I moved Pancho and Lily's bed outside. All their belongings are intact, inside. Brushing my teeth this morning, I stumbled over their jingle-bell ball. Reaching down to pick it up, I wondered where to put it.
Comments and a Post Note: Thank you for your support. I really need it at this time. I apologize to cat lovers out there, whose hearts are as heavy as mine is this morning. I didn't mean to let you down. From the moment these cats came into our care, I took their well-being to heart, giving Pancho and Lily all I could. If, as some of you may say, I am responsible for their demise by choosing to let them play outside, then I will have to live with this horror in my heart.
In the backyard potager, where roquette, or arugula, is blossoming, Smokey is on the lookout for Lily, for where Lily goes, Pancho follows.
French Vocabulary
en étendant le linge = while hanging out the laundry
le panier à linge = laundry basket
le câlin = the cuddle, hug
mais où sont les chats? = but where are the cats?
le persil = parsley
c'est le printemps = it's springtime
la fermeture = closing
l'histoire (f) = story
le potager = kitchen garden, vegetable patch
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Oh, dear Kristin – I was traveling and just now was able to read your email and all the beautiful comments. I was so hoping that by the time I got to the last one, your sweet kitties would have returned or you would have found them at your neighbor’s house. I will keep hoping for the very best for you and the kitties! If wishing could make it so – their return would definitely happen. They give us so much, they just have no idea how treasured they are!
Oh, dear Kristin – I was traveling and just now was able to read your email and all the beautiful comments. I was so hoping that by the time I got to the last one, your sweet kitties would have returned or you would have found them at your neighbor’s house. I will keep hoping for the very best for you and the kitties! If wishing could make it so – their return would definitely happen. They give us so much, they just have no idea how treasured they are!
Dear Kristin, I really share your pain because last week one of our cats, Pishkoo, went missing too! And he hasn’t come back (yet), it’s been about 6 days now. Every time I think about him I get a terrible sad sinking feeling. Strangely enough we were soon going to take him to the vet, maybe they pick up the vibes? Or it could be that spring is springing and there are so many birds and mice to explore. He cried to go out at night and shot off like a kitty with a mission – and then hasn’t been back. I worry about him because he has skin allergies and has always been more fragile than our other cat, Timmy, a big old tabby. Last year, Timmy was missing for 2 whole weeks and then came back! That was in the summer so he must have got shut into someone’s shed.
I echo your thanks to all the fellow cat-lovers who have shared reassuring stories about cats coming back after long absences. We are trying to stay hopeful, and take comfort that Pishkoo has been happy and loved in the time we have had him…
Will check back to see whether Pancho and Lily have turned up!
Dear Kristin, I really share your pain because last week one of our cats, Pishkoo, went missing too! And he hasn’t come back (yet), it’s been about 6 days now. Every time I think about him I get a terrible sad sinking feeling. Strangely enough we were soon going to take him to the vet, maybe they pick up the vibes? Or it could be that spring is springing and there are so many birds and mice to explore. He cried to go out at night and shot off like a kitty with a mission – and then hasn’t been back. I worry about him because he has skin allergies and has always been more fragile than our other cat, Timmy, a big old tabby. Last year, Timmy was missing for 2 whole weeks and then came back! That was in the summer so he must have got shut into someone’s shed.
I echo your thanks to all the fellow cat-lovers who have shared reassuring stories about cats coming back after long absences. We are trying to stay hopeful, and take comfort that Pishkoo has been happy and loved in the time we have had him…
Will check back to see whether Pancho and Lily have turned up!
Don’t give up hope. I’ve had cats disappear for more than a week and come back safe and sound. Sometimes they go into a neighbor’s shed or garage during a rainstorm and get trapped inside until somebody hears their cries. It is unlikely that both of them would have been attacked at the same time.
Don’t give up hope. I’ve had cats disappear for more than a week and come back safe and sound. Sometimes they go into a neighbor’s shed or garage during a rainstorm and get trapped inside until somebody hears their cries. It is unlikely that both of them would have been attacked at the same time.
I am so sorry, Kristen. We had a beautiful gray cat who loved to roam outside at night. He was always on the deck in the morning waiting to come in for breakfast until Labor Day several years ago – I was up in the middle of the night and he was sitting in his usual spot on the front porch, but never showed up again at the back door. It does leave a hole in your heart! Even though I know it was dangerous for him to be out at night, I know he loved being out, so I have to be consoled by that and hope that someone else adopted him!
I am so sorry, Kristen. We had a beautiful gray cat who loved to roam outside at night. He was always on the deck in the morning waiting to come in for breakfast until Labor Day several years ago – I was up in the middle of the night and he was sitting in his usual spot on the front porch, but never showed up again at the back door. It does leave a hole in your heart! Even though I know it was dangerous for him to be out at night, I know he loved being out, so I have to be consoled by that and hope that someone else adopted him!
We have indoor / outdoor cats. You might be surprised, they might come back. Ours go missing for a day but they always come back
We have indoor / outdoor cats. You might be surprised, they might come back. Ours go missing for a day but they always come back
So sorry to hear Kristin. I hope they do come back and it is a good idea, as mentioned above, to put up signs to let people know. Also, to let neighbors know but you may have done this already.
I would sometimes put food out when this happened to me or a piece of your clothing.
They were blessed to be a part of your family for however long it was.
peace,
dana
So sorry to hear Kristin. I hope they do come back and it is a good idea, as mentioned above, to put up signs to let people know. Also, to let neighbors know but you may have done this already.
I would sometimes put food out when this happened to me or a piece of your clothing.
They were blessed to be a part of your family for however long it was.
peace,
dana
My heart goes out to you. I’ve been through similar situations and understand how hard it is when you don’t know. On the other hand, don’t beat yourself up for letting them out – look at your first picture and think about the life that cats enjoy – free to come and go. To permit that does mean you pay the price of letting them go if that what happens, but the cat is better to have had the freedom.
My heart goes out to you. I’ve been through similar situations and understand how hard it is when you don’t know. On the other hand, don’t beat yourself up for letting them out – look at your first picture and think about the life that cats enjoy – free to come and go. To permit that does mean you pay the price of letting them go if that what happens, but the cat is better to have had the freedom.
A few times a couple of years ago, my cat got out I spent a lot of time calling and calling and eventually he returned. Another previous cat had also gotten out (by darting through the door when a visitor had arrived!) and it was very difficult to find our tiger-striped cat in the dusk but we did!
I’m betting if your kittens are smart they will return!
A few times a couple of years ago, my cat got out I spent a lot of time calling and calling and eventually he returned. Another previous cat had also gotten out (by darting through the door when a visitor had arrived!) and it was very difficult to find our tiger-striped cat in the dusk but we did!
I’m betting if your kittens are smart they will return!
Minou, minou, minou, minou…..just keeps going through my mind. Fervently praying Poncho and Lily will come home~
Minou, minou, minou, minou…..just keeps going through my mind. Fervently praying Poncho and Lily will come home~
We just returned from a small overseas trip, and checking my email I found your heartbreaking, yet beautifully written missive. Dear, dear Kristi, with a heart as big as the universe, please be gentle with yourself, and as someone who has ‘furry kids’ in her family too, I pray those precious souls return home- as they well could any day. xxx
We just returned from a small overseas trip, and checking my email I found your heartbreaking, yet beautifully written missive. Dear, dear Kristi, with a heart as big as the universe, please be gentle with yourself, and as someone who has ‘furry kids’ in her family too, I pray those precious souls return home- as they well could any day. xxx
Still no cats.Thank you, Chris, and to all who have come back to check this page. I wish I had good news. Today makes 5 days since they disappeared. Two days ago I thought I heard a faint miawing, and I called and searchedbut did not hear it again. I appreciate all ofyour caring notes and this generous outpouring of support. Your stories make me laugh and appreciate these zany and intelligent and mysterious creatures who come in… and sometimes out of our lives.
Still no cats.Thank you, Chris, and to all who have come back to check this page. I wish I had good news. Today makes 5 days since they disappeared. Two days ago I thought I heard a faint miawing, and I called and searchedbut did not hear it again. I appreciate all ofyour caring notes and this generous outpouring of support. Your stories make me laugh and appreciate these zany and intelligent and mysterious creatures who come in… and sometimes out of our lives.
Definitely definitely put up missing posters near your home, and post through doors as well with photos and your contact name.
Ask people to check their barns/sheds/other places; and do ask about traps.
Maybe take the dog for some walks,see if he can sniff them out? You’ve done the right thing leaving their bed out for them; also put out any blankets they used to lie on, they like the smell and do come back for it.
Do go out calling as well morning and evening (yes you will look mad, but it’s worth it to get them back,no?).
and finally, check in with any local vets in case they have been handed in; and put posters up in the vets if they will allow them.
Also, cats will get into vans as they’re very curious – were there any vans around that day? was anyone moving house? They might have ended up being ‘moved’ by mistake!
Don’t give up hope! my heart goes out to you.
x
Definitely definitely put up missing posters near your home, and post through doors as well with photos and your contact name.
Ask people to check their barns/sheds/other places; and do ask about traps.
Maybe take the dog for some walks,see if he can sniff them out? You’ve done the right thing leaving their bed out for them; also put out any blankets they used to lie on, they like the smell and do come back for it.
Do go out calling as well morning and evening (yes you will look mad, but it’s worth it to get them back,no?).
and finally, check in with any local vets in case they have been handed in; and put posters up in the vets if they will allow them.
Also, cats will get into vans as they’re very curious – were there any vans around that day? was anyone moving house? They might have ended up being ‘moved’ by mistake!
Don’t give up hope! my heart goes out to you.
x
Oh, Kristi, I hope they’ve returned by now. You beautiful cats. Why shouldn’t you let cats play outside? That is absurd!Cats are wild animals not soft toys….. Those who may chide you are just plain unrealistic…..Crossing fingers they’re back today.
Oh, Kristi, I hope they’ve returned by now. You beautiful cats. Why shouldn’t you let cats play outside? That is absurd!Cats are wild animals not soft toys….. Those who may chide you are just plain unrealistic…..Crossing fingers they’re back today.
my heart goes out to you ;-(
my heart goes out to you ;-(
Hope they return soon! I house & cat sat for a friend on vacation & discovered that the cat door for her 2 large & we’ll fed fellows was letting in neighborhood cats & wild life as well. My schedule was different from the owner — so that’s how I discovered that her cats were the party animals of the neighborhood . Possibly the entire neighborhood heard me shrieking at the interlopers. After I chased them out & barred the cat door I couldn’t sleep that night wondering if there might still be strangers in the basement or hiding under furniture!
Hope they return soon! I house & cat sat for a friend on vacation & discovered that the cat door for her 2 large & we’ll fed fellows was letting in neighborhood cats & wild life as well. My schedule was different from the owner — so that’s how I discovered that her cats were the party animals of the neighborhood . Possibly the entire neighborhood heard me shrieking at the interlopers. After I chased them out & barred the cat door I couldn’t sleep that night wondering if there might still be strangers in the basement or hiding under furniture!
Kristin, Our cat disappeared for 48 days a few years ago. When found, he had lost weight but was otherwise fine. He isn’t an outdoor cat and we live near a major intersection in the city, so we were frantic. He had hunkered down in a neighbour’s garage!
Kristin, Our cat disappeared for 48 days a few years ago. When found, he had lost weight but was otherwise fine. He isn’t an outdoor cat and we live near a major intersection in the city, so we were frantic. He had hunkered down in a neighbour’s garage!
Picture 5 — Braise overlooking a pile of rocks. Can the cats have gotten under those rocks and be in the hole they are covering? Your property looks as if it has many places the two cats could be caught. Or one could be trapped and the other won’t leave it. They might not be too far away from where you last saw them. (Great photos, BTW! You are hard workers!)
Picture 5 — Braise overlooking a pile of rocks. Can the cats have gotten under those rocks and be in the hole they are covering? Your property looks as if it has many places the two cats could be caught. Or one could be trapped and the other won’t leave it. They might not be too far away from where you last saw them. (Great photos, BTW! You are hard workers!)
You once again shared a beautiful and moving story in which you allowed yourself to be exposed and vulnerable. I admire so much your abiity to bring forth such empathy by your words and the courage it takes to leave yourself open in such a public way. It truly saddens me that there are those who feel they have the right to criticize and reprimand you; especially when you are already suffering. We are so fortunate that even with these comments you continue to share your stories and your spirit with us. Thank you Kristin
You once again shared a beautiful and moving story in which you allowed yourself to be exposed and vulnerable. I admire so much your abiity to bring forth such empathy by your words and the courage it takes to leave yourself open in such a public way. It truly saddens me that there are those who feel they have the right to criticize and reprimand you; especially when you are already suffering. We are so fortunate that even with these comments you continue to share your stories and your spirit with us. Thank you Kristin
Cats come back! They also get lost and need help finding their way home! Post Lost Cat photos on roads near your home. That is how I got my cat back a few years ago,Im so sorry you are going through this right now:( Its a heartbreak!
Hang in there!
Natalie Shaby xo
Cats come back! They also get lost and need help finding their way home! Post Lost Cat photos on roads near your home. That is how I got my cat back a few years ago,Im so sorry you are going through this right now:( Its a heartbreak!
Hang in there!
Natalie Shaby xo
I know your pain. A cat who wandered onto the property where I lived out in the country became fast friends – as long as he could live outdoors. The cat did come inside for one cold night, but the next day he was gone, seemingly forever. A year later (after I had moved from the area), I drove down the unpaved road of my former home and, there in the field, was the cat. He looked happy! I hope that someday you’ll drive past a field and see Pancho and Lily, romping happily! (But please do keep any future kitties indoors if possible!)
I know your pain. A cat who wandered onto the property where I lived out in the country became fast friends – as long as he could live outdoors. The cat did come inside for one cold night, but the next day he was gone, seemingly forever. A year later (after I had moved from the area), I drove down the unpaved road of my former home and, there in the field, was the cat. He looked happy! I hope that someday you’ll drive past a field and see Pancho and Lily, romping happily! (But please do keep any future kitties indoors if possible!)
I used to work at an animal shelter and we had a lady come in looking for her cat. He was a very rare Abyssinian and had several unusual features, but alas, no cat. She came every day for a year and finally called to say she couldn’t do it any more and was going to accept that he was gone. 2 weeks later and another lady comes in with 2 kids and an Abyssinian cat. She lived 5 houses from the other woman and she had found him as a stray one year before, but was moving and couldn’t keep him! God works in mysterious ways! Oleo went home to his long time Mom who was ecstatic! If it’s part of the plan for your cats to come home, they will! Prayer helps. God Bless you and your family Kristi!
I used to work at an animal shelter and we had a lady come in looking for her cat. He was a very rare Abyssinian and had several unusual features, but alas, no cat. She came every day for a year and finally called to say she couldn’t do it any more and was going to accept that he was gone. 2 weeks later and another lady comes in with 2 kids and an Abyssinian cat. She lived 5 houses from the other woman and she had found him as a stray one year before, but was moving and couldn’t keep him! God works in mysterious ways! Oleo went home to his long time Mom who was ecstatic! If it’s part of the plan for your cats to come home, they will! Prayer helps. God Bless you and your family Kristi!