"This one's for you!" (pictured: that's me with the cake, my husband, right, gets all the wine around here–even when we lived on a vineyard, where wine all but flowed from the garden hose.)
A (Very Special) DAY IN A FRENCH …by Kristi Espinasse
Yesterday a delicate and meaningful milestone quietly passed. Waking up, I searched for a way to respectfully acknowledge the date, lest it pass as another ordinary day. Quietly walking out to the bedroom terrace, I looked around at the countryside. As far as the eye could see, there was greenery: olive and almond trees, the forest, and the sea.
It was a relief to wake with a clear head and no regrets. Breathing in the morning scent, I closed my eyes. Now was the time. I offered up the simple acknowledgment, and thanks. There was a moment of complete and utter silence, and then seagulls cried in the distance. A train passed, blowing its horn. The neighbor's dogs barked. My robe sagged, and I reached down to tighten the belt. It was both an ordinary and an extraordinary day.
"You can take me to lunch," I hinted to Jean-Marc, both reminding him of the important date—and suggesting how he might help me to mark the occasion.
"How about with a big glass of cognac?" he chuckled.
"That is NOT funny!" No matter how many times I tell him that such jokes, given the circumstance, are in bad taste, he cannot help himself.
"OK, then how about a six-pack?" my husband continued.
"T'es terrible!"
"I'm very proud of you," Jean-Marc assured me, planting a kiss on my lips. His tenderness provoked flashbacks of years ago, when I would discover little notes stuck in a book I was reading or in the pocket of my robe.
"Çela fait dix jours. Continue, Mon Amour… That makes ten days. Keep it up, My Love," the encouragements read, and "Trois semaines! Fier de toi, Ma Chérie! Three weeks now! So proud of you, My Dear!"
The scribbled notes were encouraging but had I foreseen the future, I might not have had the guts to continue on the new path, not knowing that some of the rockiest parts were just around the corner. The hand-written notes would stop. The sores would begin to open.
A decade has passed and I am still on that fragile path; despite all the setbacks, I have never once veered off track. And even if I wouldn't be celebrating the 10-year mark with a glass of champagne, I was looking forward to eating out with my husband.
Only, when my daughter ran up, asking to bring a friend home for lunch, plans changed. Five months at the new school, and she, too, had passed a delicate milestone: the courage to invite a new friend home!
Well, at least I no longer have to fret about what to wear to the restaurant! The positive thoughts continued as I set about tidying the house, and preparing for my daughter's special lunch.
But as I hurried to fix up the house for our important guest, I felt a familiar rush of panic. There won't be time to finish the cleaning AND to get the meal started. Recognizing the anxiety—that old foe that I could not cope with ten years ago—I was able to put a stop to it. No, there wouldn't be time if I insisted on a perfect outcome. But there was plenty of time otherwise!
What was important, after all, wasn't how the house looked or what we ate, it was how our guest would feel. I wanted Jackie's friend to experience that good and cozy and welcoming feeling and to leave with a desire to return!
"Promise to come back and see us?" I said, kissing my daughter's friend goodbye after lunch.
"Oui!" came the shy response.
Noticing the look in the young lady's eyes it seemed a guardian angel was smiling back at me. If I had gone to the restaurant to celebrate and be pampered, I would have missed this heavenly encounter.
At the end of the day Jean Marc presented me with a gift. Gently tapping on the door to the bedroom, where I had been putting away a stack of freshly folded clothes, he curled his finger several times, signaling to me to follow him.
I was a little leery of whatever he was dragging me out to see. After polyester pajamas, discount branch shredders, and T-shirts I could never wear in public, I never knew what kind of gift was up his sleeves.
"Will I like it?" I asked, nervously, letting my husband lead me by the sleeve.
Opening the front door, I saw the little cherry tree posed just beyond the welcome mat, like a gushing guest. I looked closely at the delicate, leafless branches. The tiny buds were burgeoning.
"Congratulations!" Jean-Marc said. "I'm so proud of you!"
The burgeoning continued, inside of me, as teardrops surfaced like the little buds of the cherry tree. Fragile as its branches, my sobriety continues.
Update: February 3rd, 2019, I celebrated 16 years of sobriety.
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Thank you Kristin! Your story is inspiring, clearly honest and straight from your heart. I recently learned that the word ‘courage’ comes from the french word for heart (coeur). You are courageous to keep on keeping on and to write about it for the world to read.
I have a friend who is challenged with alcohol abuse. I will print this and mail it, hoping it carries some inspiration.
Thank you Kristin! Your story is inspiring, clearly honest and straight from your heart. I recently learned that the word ‘courage’ comes from the french word for heart (coeur). You are courageous to keep on keeping on and to write about it for the world to read.
I have a friend who is challenged with alcohol abuse. I will print this and mail it, hoping it carries some inspiration.
Kristin,
You write so beautifully, congratulations. It is always such a pleasure to read your stories. God Bless you and your family.
Kristin,
You write so beautifully, congratulations. It is always such a pleasure to read your stories. God Bless you and your family.
Kristin, I was so very touched by your writing and congratulate you on ten years of success and wish you even more success for the many years to come. You have learned to recognize your vulnerabilities and to manage them rather than allow them to manage you. It truly is an accomplishment to be celebrated every year. You are most inspiring. Jean Marc provided a perfect gift to mark the occasion.
Kristin, I was so very touched by your writing and congratulate you on ten years of success and wish you even more success for the many years to come. You have learned to recognize your vulnerabilities and to manage them rather than allow them to manage you. It truly is an accomplishment to be celebrated every year. You are most inspiring. Jean Marc provided a perfect gift to mark the occasion.
Very moving post and lovely photo, Kristin. Bouquets to you reaching your milestone and to Jean-Marc for his loving support.
Very moving post and lovely photo, Kristin. Bouquets to you reaching your milestone and to Jean-Marc for his loving support.
I don’t think that I am the only one who cried tears of joy and gratitude for you today. I smiled when I wondered if your server would crash with all of the well wishes coming your way. (I hope not!) And , I wondered how many people will ask you to be their sponsor as a result of your post!?! Congratulations! And many more!
Alanna
I don’t think that I am the only one who cried tears of joy and gratitude for you today. I smiled when I wondered if your server would crash with all of the well wishes coming your way. (I hope not!) And , I wondered how many people will ask you to be their sponsor as a result of your post!?! Congratulations! And many more!
Alanna
Kristin, I too am so proud of you. You will write your memoire. And it will be good for you and for your readers who love you. Thanks for your transparency and heart of gold.
Kristin, I too am so proud of you. You will write your memoire. And it will be good for you and for your readers who love you. Thanks for your transparency and heart of gold.
So much is hidden behind a smile, and so little may be revealed by the most eloquent of discourse. We must remember this when we blythly ask one, “How are you?” and accept just as blythly the expected answer, “I’m fine.”
With love . . .
So much is hidden behind a smile, and so little may be revealed by the most eloquent of discourse. We must remember this when we blythly ask one, “How are you?” and accept just as blythly the expected answer, “I’m fine.”
With love . . .
Alain de Botton’s ‘list for life’ covers 10 things that you have shown on your journey. Resilience, Empathy, Patience, Sacrifice, Politeness, Humour, Self-awareness, Forgiveness, Hope and Confidence.
Keep it up. You rock.
Alain de Botton’s ‘list for life’ covers 10 things that you have shown on your journey. Resilience, Empathy, Patience, Sacrifice, Politeness, Humour, Self-awareness, Forgiveness, Hope and Confidence.
Keep it up. You rock.
Wonderful. Others have said it all much better than I can. Congratulations.
Wonderful. Others have said it all much better than I can. Congratulations.
That’s a HUGE accomplishment! Congratulations, Kristin, and may
you have many more “one-day-at-a-time”s.
Best wishes
From frozen Vermont
Alice
That’s a HUGE accomplishment! Congratulations, Kristin, and may
you have many more “one-day-at-a-time”s.
Best wishes
From frozen Vermont
Alice
A beautiful ten years. Congratulations. I will appreciate your experiences even more, knowing this history. Never give in.
A beautiful ten years. Congratulations. I will appreciate your experiences even more, knowing this history. Never give in.
There aren’t enough candles for this anniversary cake. Bonne Anniversaire!! Kristi !!! I will have 2 candles this year. Thank you for sharing all your honest feelings and fears with us through the years. You are a brave girl and I send you love. May your tree grow and bloom for many many years to come.
There aren’t enough candles for this anniversary cake. Bonne Anniversaire!! Kristi !!! I will have 2 candles this year. Thank you for sharing all your honest feelings and fears with us through the years. You are a brave girl and I send you love. May your tree grow and bloom for many many years to come.
Bonne anniversaire, chere Kristin. J’aime beaucoup votre blog et j’admire votre courage a partager ce histoire tres douce. Votre mari est un “keeper!”
Linda in WA state
Bonne anniversaire, chere Kristin. J’aime beaucoup votre blog et j’admire votre courage a partager ce histoire tres douce. Votre mari est un “keeper!”
Linda in WA state
Thank you so much for opening up your life. I enjoy your writing so much! Great picture by the way!
Thank you so much for opening up your life. I enjoy your writing so much! Great picture by the way!
KRISTI DARLING,
I can see by the comment above that it is almost 11 p.m. in France right now. I imagine you are all tucked in reading these lovely and nourishing ‘love notes’ from all of your dear friends.
It’s been a big day for you Honey – you have soared with all the precious birds that live on your mountain top…I imagine there are little feathers in your hair from flying with all your new friends today. I can’t imagine the high you must be feeling – to receive so much love and encouragement from the people that matter the most to you – your true friends at French-Word-A-Day are the ones who have showed up to support you and your dreams. What a lucky girl you are.
I had promised to write a thought for you in the comment box when we talked on the phone earlier – wouldn’t you know I can’t remember now what I was supposed to write…such is life on this side of the mountain. I will come back later with more thoughts, I’m exhausted and refreashed as the same time after reading all of these loving and suportive comments from all of our friends. So many of the comments made me cry when I read their words to you. Also I am most intriqued (sp?) by “Anonomous’ (sp?) who can that be, and what a lovely comment. Along with all of the other wonderful comments full of wisdom and love….I have learned so much today….a day we will all remember forever.
XOXO
MOM
KRISTI DARLING,
I can see by the comment above that it is almost 11 p.m. in France right now. I imagine you are all tucked in reading these lovely and nourishing ‘love notes’ from all of your dear friends.
It’s been a big day for you Honey – you have soared with all the precious birds that live on your mountain top…I imagine there are little feathers in your hair from flying with all your new friends today. I can’t imagine the high you must be feeling – to receive so much love and encouragement from the people that matter the most to you – your true friends at French-Word-A-Day are the ones who have showed up to support you and your dreams. What a lucky girl you are.
I had promised to write a thought for you in the comment box when we talked on the phone earlier – wouldn’t you know I can’t remember now what I was supposed to write…such is life on this side of the mountain. I will come back later with more thoughts, I’m exhausted and refreashed as the same time after reading all of these loving and suportive comments from all of our friends. So many of the comments made me cry when I read their words to you. Also I am most intriqued (sp?) by “Anonomous’ (sp?) who can that be, and what a lovely comment. Along with all of the other wonderful comments full of wisdom and love….I have learned so much today….a day we will all remember forever.
XOXO
MOM
Félicitations, Kristin. Thank you for your beautiful posts. Been reading them since 2003.
Félicitations, Kristin. Thank you for your beautiful posts. Been reading them since 2003.
Loving picture. Heartwarming story. Thank you, Kristi.
“Our life has to be our message.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
There are more inspirational quotes (short stories and poems) of this now raised to prominence monk here: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/thich-nhat-hanh?before=1318428104
Good read! Bonne inspiration! To all!
Loving picture. Heartwarming story. Thank you, Kristi.
“Our life has to be our message.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
There are more inspirational quotes (short stories and poems) of this now raised to prominence monk here: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/thich-nhat-hanh?before=1318428104
Good read! Bonne inspiration! To all!
Congratulations on your important milestone! You are not alone. My husband will be celebrating his 31st year of sobriety in another month. The spiritual masters all tell us the same as what is taught in AA: One day at a time. That’s a challenge for all of us. And you are a teacher, having learned that lesson well – – as well as a beautiful and inspiring writer. I’m a recovering perfectionist too, but I have to say that your husband’s cadeau anniversaire seems perfect!
Congratulations on your important milestone! You are not alone. My husband will be celebrating his 31st year of sobriety in another month. The spiritual masters all tell us the same as what is taught in AA: One day at a time. That’s a challenge for all of us. And you are a teacher, having learned that lesson well – – as well as a beautiful and inspiring writer. I’m a recovering perfectionist too, but I have to say that your husband’s cadeau anniversaire seems perfect!
Yes, let me add my congratulations to you! I know all these wishes are for you and thank you for sharing them….they are all so wonderful!
Yes, let me add my congratulations to you! I know all these wishes are for you and thank you for sharing them….they are all so wonderful!
Congratulations for reaching this milestone! You are a courageous, strong and amazing woman…keep writing, living, loving and inspiring us all.
hugs and love to you – Lisa
Congratulations for reaching this milestone! You are a courageous, strong and amazing woman…keep writing, living, loving and inspiring us all.
hugs and love to you – Lisa
Congratulations! You amaze me with your strength, beauty, and talents and inspire me to continue to strive to improve myself. Thank you for the enjoyment you have brought to us for many, many years.
Congratulations! You amaze me with your strength, beauty, and talents and inspire me to continue to strive to improve myself. Thank you for the enjoyment you have brought to us for many, many years.
Congratulations, Kristin! Don’t ever stop. I love every post, the ones that make me laugh, the ones that make me cry, the ones that make me try something new, try harder and/or try again. Thanks.
Congratulations, Kristin! Don’t ever stop. I love every post, the ones that make me laugh, the ones that make me cry, the ones that make me try something new, try harder and/or try again. Thanks.
Dear Kristin,
Congratulations to you for the courage you have had to bring sobriety into your life, maintaining it for 10 years and sharing your story with us! May every year forward bring even more happiness and bear delicious fruit!
Happy Anniversary, Georgia
Dear Kristin,
Congratulations to you for the courage you have had to bring sobriety into your life, maintaining it for 10 years and sharing your story with us! May every year forward bring even more happiness and bear delicious fruit!
Happy Anniversary, Georgia
Dear Kristin,
A very HAPPY 10 Years!! Your courage and commitment are truly awesome and an honor to witness. Many thanks to you are you share your openness to your life journey with such panache. A clink of glasses of Pelligrino and lime to you!
Dear Kristin,
A very HAPPY 10 Years!! Your courage and commitment are truly awesome and an honor to witness. Many thanks to you are you share your openness to your life journey with such panache. A clink of glasses of Pelligrino and lime to you!
Congratulations; as I read the comments I keep seeing the words amazing and awesome; you really are and so very special to all of us. Sending much love!
Congratulations; as I read the comments I keep seeing the words amazing and awesome; you really are and so very special to all of us. Sending much love!