"This one's for you!" (pictured: that's me with the cake, my husband, right, gets all the wine around here–even when we lived on a vineyard, where wine all but flowed from the garden hose.)
A (Very Special) DAY IN A FRENCH …by Kristi Espinasse
Yesterday a delicate and meaningful milestone quietly passed. Waking up, I searched for a way to respectfully acknowledge the date, lest it pass as another ordinary day. Quietly walking out to the bedroom terrace, I looked around at the countryside. As far as the eye could see, there was greenery: olive and almond trees, the forest, and the sea.
It was a relief to wake with a clear head and no regrets. Breathing in the morning scent, I closed my eyes. Now was the time. I offered up the simple acknowledgment, and thanks. There was a moment of complete and utter silence, and then seagulls cried in the distance. A train passed, blowing its horn. The neighbor's dogs barked. My robe sagged, and I reached down to tighten the belt. It was both an ordinary and an extraordinary day.
"You can take me to lunch," I hinted to Jean-Marc, both reminding him of the important date—and suggesting how he might help me to mark the occasion.
"How about with a big glass of cognac?" he chuckled.
"That is NOT funny!" No matter how many times I tell him that such jokes, given the circumstance, are in bad taste, he cannot help himself.
"OK, then how about a six-pack?" my husband continued.
"T'es terrible!"
"I'm very proud of you," Jean-Marc assured me, planting a kiss on my lips. His tenderness provoked flashbacks of years ago, when I would discover little notes stuck in a book I was reading or in the pocket of my robe.
"Çela fait dix jours. Continue, Mon Amour… That makes ten days. Keep it up, My Love," the encouragements read, and "Trois semaines! Fier de toi, Ma Chérie! Three weeks now! So proud of you, My Dear!"
The scribbled notes were encouraging but had I foreseen the future, I might not have had the guts to continue on the new path, not knowing that some of the rockiest parts were just around the corner. The hand-written notes would stop. The sores would begin to open.
A decade has passed and I am still on that fragile path; despite all the setbacks, I have never once veered off track. And even if I wouldn't be celebrating the 10-year mark with a glass of champagne, I was looking forward to eating out with my husband.
Only, when my daughter ran up, asking to bring a friend home for lunch, plans changed. Five months at the new school, and she, too, had passed a delicate milestone: the courage to invite a new friend home!
Well, at least I no longer have to fret about what to wear to the restaurant! The positive thoughts continued as I set about tidying the house, and preparing for my daughter's special lunch.
But as I hurried to fix up the house for our important guest, I felt a familiar rush of panic. There won't be time to finish the cleaning AND to get the meal started. Recognizing the anxiety—that old foe that I could not cope with ten years ago—I was able to put a stop to it. No, there wouldn't be time if I insisted on a perfect outcome. But there was plenty of time otherwise!
What was important, after all, wasn't how the house looked or what we ate, it was how our guest would feel. I wanted Jackie's friend to experience that good and cozy and welcoming feeling and to leave with a desire to return!
"Promise to come back and see us?" I said, kissing my daughter's friend goodbye after lunch.
"Oui!" came the shy response.
Noticing the look in the young lady's eyes it seemed a guardian angel was smiling back at me. If I had gone to the restaurant to celebrate and be pampered, I would have missed this heavenly encounter.
At the end of the day Jean Marc presented me with a gift. Gently tapping on the door to the bedroom, where I had been putting away a stack of freshly folded clothes, he curled his finger several times, signaling to me to follow him.
I was a little leery of whatever he was dragging me out to see. After polyester pajamas, discount branch shredders, and T-shirts I could never wear in public, I never knew what kind of gift was up his sleeves.
"Will I like it?" I asked, nervously, letting my husband lead me by the sleeve.
Opening the front door, I saw the little cherry tree posed just beyond the welcome mat, like a gushing guest. I looked closely at the delicate, leafless branches. The tiny buds were burgeoning.
"Congratulations!" Jean-Marc said. "I'm so proud of you!"
The burgeoning continued, inside of me, as teardrops surfaced like the little buds of the cherry tree. Fragile as its branches, my sobriety continues.
Update: February 3rd, 2019, I celebrated 16 years of sobriety.
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Congratulations, Kristin! What an inspiring, moving story! Thank you for sharing this side of your story with us, your dedicated readers! You are wonderful.
Congratulations, Kristin! What an inspiring, moving story! Thank you for sharing this side of your story with us, your dedicated readers! You are wonderful.
Congratulations on your 10th cake. We are all grateful for your open and honest writing. You belong to a very select and special group of people and I have the privilege of being best friends with two from this group. Continued strength to keep your life in balance.
Congratulations on your 10th cake. We are all grateful for your open and honest writing. You belong to a very select and special group of people and I have the privilege of being best friends with two from this group. Continued strength to keep your life in balance.
I will celebrate your anniversary by listening to the wind gently stir the fir branches outside my door, thousands of miles away from you. You are strong and brave and an inspiration to all. Thanks for sharing your life stories, this being the biggest one of all. Merci beaucoup.
I will celebrate your anniversary by listening to the wind gently stir the fir branches outside my door, thousands of miles away from you. You are strong and brave and an inspiration to all. Thanks for sharing your life stories, this being the biggest one of all. Merci beaucoup.
Chère Kristin,
May your lovely new tree serve as a reminder to you of where you’ve come from and the possibilities of tomorrow. Félicitations. <3, Julia
Chère Kristin,
May your lovely new tree serve as a reminder to you of where you’ve come from and the possibilities of tomorrow. Félicitations. <3, Julia
Congratulations! And may this decade be followed by another day, and then another.
Congratulations! And may this decade be followed by another day, and then another.
Happy 10 Years! I cannot tell you how much I admire you… living in France, with the best wines and champagnes and cognacs all around you, and you are able to say no? You are truly to be admired for your will. You should be very proud, and I’m sure you are! God bless you!
Best,
Gloria
P.S. Your husband is a VERY lucky man: I think you are the best wife to not begrudge him his libations. You are great!
Happy 10 Years! I cannot tell you how much I admire you… living in France, with the best wines and champagnes and cognacs all around you, and you are able to say no? You are truly to be admired for your will. You should be very proud, and I’m sure you are! God bless you!
Best,
Gloria
P.S. Your husband is a VERY lucky man: I think you are the best wife to not begrudge him his libations. You are great!
Hello Kristin,
You really have touched me with your words and I’m happy that you are sharing it with everyone. You are a beautiful lady and even more beautiful with your courage and positivity .. I have a lot to learn from you.
Hello Kristin,
You really have touched me with your words and I’m happy that you are sharing it with everyone. You are a beautiful lady and even more beautiful with your courage and positivity .. I have a lot to learn from you.
Congrats Kristin! I look forward to your posts. Thanks for the great writing & photos.
You encourage me to follow my dreams & goals.
Thank you for being there, in the vineyard, and sharing your life with us.
It is raining on the central coast of Oregon — what else is new…….
Stay well 🙂
Congrats Kristin! I look forward to your posts. Thanks for the great writing & photos.
You encourage me to follow my dreams & goals.
Thank you for being there, in the vineyard, and sharing your life with us.
It is raining on the central coast of Oregon — what else is new…….
Stay well 🙂
Dear Kristi, I have been reading your posts for several years and have always loved your writing (and never yet written to tell you so). But today’s post was something all-together different. I am so very moved by your honesty and the graceful, subtle way you revealed this facet of your journey. I look forward to your memoir!
Dear Kristi, I have been reading your posts for several years and have always loved your writing (and never yet written to tell you so). But today’s post was something all-together different. I am so very moved by your honesty and the graceful, subtle way you revealed this facet of your journey. I look forward to your memoir!
Congrats on the first 10 years, Kristin! The journey of a lifetime is taken one day and one decision at a time. Well done.
Congrats on the first 10 years, Kristin! The journey of a lifetime is taken one day and one decision at a time. Well done.
I’ve been following your posts since Year One while stationed in Germany and my husband was deployed. But a few moments into today’s blog, I began to think this was your most beautifully written post to date. I’m quite sure you sought courage from God to share this very personal challenge with us for the first time; and in return, you received a gift of eloquence with which to do it. What a blessing for you and your family, but to us Cyber Friends as well 🙂 Thank you!
I’ve been following your posts since Year One while stationed in Germany and my husband was deployed. But a few moments into today’s blog, I began to think this was your most beautifully written post to date. I’m quite sure you sought courage from God to share this very personal challenge with us for the first time; and in return, you received a gift of eloquence with which to do it. What a blessing for you and your family, but to us Cyber Friends as well 🙂 Thank you!
Big congratulations, Kristen! This is a huge achievement, and your honesty with your readers makes your writing enticing and addictive. May you continue to thrive!
Big congratulations, Kristen! This is a huge achievement, and your honesty with your readers makes your writing enticing and addictive. May you continue to thrive!
Ah, well, so you are even stronger and braver than we imagined. Bravo, Kristin! And the cherry tree – a perfect gift. You two… I think I may need a kleenex now… 😉
Ah, well, so you are even stronger and braver than we imagined. Bravo, Kristin! And the cherry tree – a perfect gift. You two… I think I may need a kleenex now… 😉
Dear Kristin,
Tears in my eyes. That’s all I can manage.
Love, Joan
Dear Kristin,
Tears in my eyes. That’s all I can manage.
Love, Joan
Congratulations Kristin! Your writings are so precious to me. To think of trees in bud and seeing nothing but a landscape of green gives me hope here in the snow-filled prairies of Manitoba,Canada!
Julia
Congratulations Kristin! Your writings are so precious to me. To think of trees in bud and seeing nothing but a landscape of green gives me hope here in the snow-filled prairies of Manitoba,Canada!
Julia
Congratulations on your 10th Birthday – I know it must be a new life for you. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been, and may still be at times, to be so surrounded with a very exciting viticultural world, one where you are intimately involved. You have the strength and fortitude of the gods and goddesses! My sister-in-law and her husband had the most wondrous of lives, living them in sobriety, and in helping others to believe in their own power to make a life of loving, living, and one of peace and contentment for themselves and their family. It would not have happened without the loving support of each other and their families. It sounds like you are also blessed with that great support — but, in the end, it is you who have triumphed and my chapeau is off to you, dear friend! With love and praise, Judi
Congratulations on your 10th Birthday – I know it must be a new life for you. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been, and may still be at times, to be so surrounded with a very exciting viticultural world, one where you are intimately involved. You have the strength and fortitude of the gods and goddesses! My sister-in-law and her husband had the most wondrous of lives, living them in sobriety, and in helping others to believe in their own power to make a life of loving, living, and one of peace and contentment for themselves and their family. It would not have happened without the loving support of each other and their families. It sounds like you are also blessed with that great support — but, in the end, it is you who have triumphed and my chapeau is off to you, dear friend! With love and praise, Judi
Hi Kristin, it is your courage and eloquence that gives simplicity and power to your writing. It reminds me how important it is to share our stories of being human, how our struggles become art. Beauty born from suffering. Merci x
Hi Kristin, it is your courage and eloquence that gives simplicity and power to your writing. It reminds me how important it is to share our stories of being human, how our struggles become art. Beauty born from suffering. Merci x
You are an inspiration! You have made the most wonderful lemonade!
You are an inspiration! You have made the most wonderful lemonade!
Merci beaucoup! You are a wonderful inspiration to all!
Merci beaucoup! You are a wonderful inspiration to all!
315,532,800 hugs for every second of your ten year victory. So proud of you. The telling will come in its time & we all know it will be beautiful and poignant.
Oodles of love.
P.S. 11th paragraph beginning “A decade has passed …” it should read “veered off track.”
315,532,800 hugs for every second of your ten year victory. So proud of you. The telling will come in its time & we all know it will be beautiful and poignant.
Oodles of love.
P.S. 11th paragraph beginning “A decade has passed …” it should read “veered off track.”
What wonderful news! My husband quit in time for us to celebrate our 25th anniversary and went to heaven sober some 28 years later. May your one day at a time be filled with the love of God, your family and friends. All of us are so proud of you and congratulate you with much joy. You bring much pleasure to many. Keep on Keeping on.
What wonderful news! My husband quit in time for us to celebrate our 25th anniversary and went to heaven sober some 28 years later. May your one day at a time be filled with the love of God, your family and friends. All of us are so proud of you and congratulate you with much joy. You bring much pleasure to many. Keep on Keeping on.
I remember using a towel to clean up those potato chips. I can see it like it was yesterday. Great job Kristi
I remember using a towel to clean up those potato chips. I can see it like it was yesterday. Great job Kristi
Wow – you became even more special to me this morning…..Three-thousand six-hundred fifty-three days of sobriety; but who is counting? Those of us that consider it a gift each day.
Congratulations.
Wow – you became even more special to me this morning…..Three-thousand six-hundred fifty-three days of sobriety; but who is counting? Those of us that consider it a gift each day.
Congratulations.
Our dear Kristi,
Lacking words to tell you how very proud of you we are.You ,once again, are an inspiration to all of those who wish to also travel the road of sobriety but are finding courage a timid companion.
You are also a gifted writer(!!) and your stories are always a present for us.
But without doubt today is at the tip top of your very best. Your words have painted decriptions which capture our imaginations and leave us wishing for more, wishing the story wouldn’t end.
CONGRATULATIONS,dear friend, pour tout.
There is surely nothing you cannot do.
God has His hand on your shoulder always.
Love, Natalia XO
Our dear Kristi,
Lacking words to tell you how very proud of you we are.You ,once again, are an inspiration to all of those who wish to also travel the road of sobriety but are finding courage a timid companion.
You are also a gifted writer(!!) and your stories are always a present for us.
But without doubt today is at the tip top of your very best. Your words have painted decriptions which capture our imaginations and leave us wishing for more, wishing the story wouldn’t end.
CONGRATULATIONS,dear friend, pour tout.
There is surely nothing you cannot do.
God has His hand on your shoulder always.
Love, Natalia XO
This posting unfolded like flower–and resulted in buds of cherry. Kristin, there was such a feeling of peace in this post. It was simply perfect in the telling and in the sharing. I, too, had missed this ‘color’ in the ‘palette that is Kristin’. But it explains the richness and ‘nowness’ with which you experience the world. And it’s a stunning prologue. Thank you for sharing
This posting unfolded like flower–and resulted in buds of cherry. Kristin, there was such a feeling of peace in this post. It was simply perfect in the telling and in the sharing. I, too, had missed this ‘color’ in the ‘palette that is Kristin’. But it explains the richness and ‘nowness’ with which you experience the world. And it’s a stunning prologue. Thank you for sharing