Père et Fille. Jean-Marc and Jackie (did you read her letter on maquillage?). Tomorrow, March 29th, is Chief Grape's 45th birthday!
la prise de conscience (preez-deuh-kon-see-uhns)
: realization
Audio File: listen to Jean-Marc read the French words below: Download MP3 or Wav file
Cette prise de conscience était un peu troublante. Il parait que ma peau a vignt ans de plus que moi. This realization was a bit troubling. Apparently my skin is twenty years older than I am.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
She said I need to reapply sunblock every two hours, that when I drive I should put on a long-sleeved (linen) veste in summertime, and that I might consider having the windows in my home (where I work) coated with ultraviolet window film. But the kicker was, she said I have an old peau… She did say that, didn't she?
Standing in the dermato's office, I watch the scrutinizing regard of the doctor, who does not avert her eyes when delivering the conviction: "Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau!"
Because she says the word "jeune" several times in the same paragraph, I initially take it as flattery. Since when was middle age "young"? …But then the words begin to translate themselves, as French words do, slowly… surely—tick, tick, tick—until, like a grenade, they explode with meaning.
She never said I was young… she said I was younger than my skin… which I guessed, was old!
"44 year-old woman". Photo taken 4 weeks ago… those are stitches from the second basal cell surgery. My forehead is coming along, too…
.
No need to guess any further, the dermato is blunt: "You have prematurely old skin! Votre peau a vingt ans de plus que vous!"
I am tempted to shush her up, tempted to claim and enforce that universal rule of tact, only, reason tells me that tact is sometimes nothing more than a tool for illusionists: it is magician's smoke! I don't want Houdini, I want Dr H, whose higher goal it is–in telling me the truth about my skin–to prevent further dégâts.
Dr H. says I will need to catch up to my skin's age! The good news is I have twenty years to do so…. Meantime, I will need to slow down the "advancement" of my cellules–and prevent further skin cancers associated with older skin–by slathering on the sunblock, closing the curtains in my bright office, and staying out of the sun.
(It is a strange new goal, that of trying to catch up one's biological age to one's physical age! Weren't the two the same?)
The other good news was that the third mysterious growth (or the purpose of my doctor visit) turned out to be a harmless angiome–and not another invasive cell. OUF!).
I pay the doctor 42 euros, thank her for the "reassurance", and leave the office. When I get into my car I look into the rear-view mirror….
First, the crows feet leap out. Gosh, the lines around my eyes are deeper than I remembered their being… my skin looks tired, too.
I have the desire to google "44-year-old skin" or "44-year-old woman" just to see what I should look like. What, after all, should I look like?
In the end, I resist the urge to let google toy with my emotions. I am strong, tough as leather, and you might even say I have the skin to prove it.
French Vocabulary
père et fille = father and daughter
joyeux anniversaire = happy birthday
la veste = jacket
le/la dermato (dermatologue) = dermatologist
Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau = you are younger than your skin
Votre peau a vingt ans de plus que vous = your skin is twenty years older than you are
les dégâts (m) = damage
une cellule = cell
un angiome = angioma (a benign tumor made up of blood vessels). Our son Max was born with a dime-size bright red "angiome" on his forehead. The doctors referred to it as "une fraise" (a strawberry)
ouf! = phew!
Another snapshot from Chief Grape's USA wine tour. Here is Jean-Marc with Alex and Joanne Polner. Photo taken at Vestry Wines in NYC.
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I think what the french doctor was trying to say in the usual blunt french manner (you must be used to that by now!) is that you are a blond and therefore have fair skin that is more susceptible to sun damage. I am always still amazed at how the french are blunt to the point of insensitivity. But they get their point across. Maybe you should consider coming to the US for further skin treatment, and a dash of tactfulness.
Happy Birthday! Thank you so much for your sharing both your life and your family.
Birthday wishes and many more to come!!
It’s a good life!!
Dianna
Oh poo on that médecin. If your skin looks older than you do, maybe it’s because you look more like 24 instead of 44. But staying out of the sun like that, now that’s pénible. You’ll just have to become a hat chick, and wear those wonderful flowing capes like your mom. Your forehead, by the way, has really healed up nicely, per the photo. Meanwhile, Felicitations to the birthday boy!
Bon anniversaire Jean-Marc! Vous êtes juste un bébé comparé à moi. Le mois prochain j’aurai cinquante-trois ans. Zut alors!! Kristin, vous semblez être curatif très bien. Aucun soleil quelque sur ce secteur pendant au moins une année. Même avec un chapeau, assurez-vous qu’il est couvert le band-aid ou de l’oxyde de zinc. Est ce que le surgeoun en plastique m’a indiqué quand j’ai été mordu dans le visage par un chien et je n’ai aucune décoloration. Toujours vos amie, Deb
Happy Birthday “Jimmy”…you are now in your prime!
Kristin, as everyone else has already said, you are beautiful! And your charming character only enhances your glow.
Bonne anniversaire Jean-Marc!
Great picture of you and Jackie and lovely picture of Kristi too! I hope that you have something wonderful planned to celebrate the day — you deserve a day to yourself to relax with your family and dogs!
Take care,
Caroline
On the bright side- you can give your daughter (and son) a wonderful first hand lesson in the importance of sun protection, which will be even more important in their lifetimes. I was lucky enough to have a “cousine” who is a dermatologist and she recommended at least spf 15 sunscreen/moisturizer every day- year round. And spf 30 when you are outside longer than 30 min. I started following her advice 20 years ago and now at 52 I am often taken for a 30 year old. So tell Jackie the makeup lover that the first step every morning should be sunscreen — then the fun stuff!!
My response to your doctor would be and I quote the great detective Nero Wolfe- “Pfui!’
Now that hats are back in fashion- always wear a hat and a large straw with a veil can look very romantic when you are shopping or doing the washing. Or even-gasp a sun bonnett… howdy ma’am- have fun and stay well and if you were in Palm Beach now having a glass of Rouge Bleu on the terrace of Bice…well?
Kristen, you are beautiful!
Jean-Marc, like wine, you are not getting
older, you’re getting better 🙂
I have pretty much avoided the sun most of my life, not because of skin cancer but due to a horrible fear of bees. Luckily my skin is in pretty good shape now in my 65th year. A good friend, however, spent every possible moment soaking up the sun’s rays, and she now looks old enough to be my grandmother, although she is actually a few years younger.
When I look at your pictures, you look very youthful and beautiful right now. Follow that doctor’s advice, and I’m sure you will look as amazing in 20 years as you do now.
Oh, and there are so many wonderful and pampering treatments, ointments, and rituals available to keep that skin looking radiant. And what about all of the lovely sun bonnets? You have so much to look forward to.
With love,
Jeanne
Happy Birthday, tomorrow, Jean M.
“Age, like wine, ….etc.”
I am SO happy to see that you , Kristin, are looking as beautiful as EVER.
It’s all about living in Provence, you lucky dogs,….THEM TOO…..
Much light…
Sally
Happy Birthday Jean-Marc,
I am so sorry I missed you when you came to Portland, I had hoped to see you, and have you sign my copy of Kristin’s lovely book!
Happy Birthday Jean-Marc,
You already have the best gift: A young beautiful wife with a wonderful spirit. Those little scars are nothing.
May you stay forever young too!
Dennis
joyeux Anniversaire to you Jean-Marc, hope the trip was successful, have read all the comments, all are right on, just happy I had the privilege of being at the farm and meeting you both, my Best to you and yours always, Lou Bogue
Dear Kristin,
You are exquisite…
Keep smiling and keep brightening our world with your sparkling writing.
You have a heart of gold and it shows through your lovely blue eyes.
Happy spring, Happy everything!
Joyeux anniversaire, Marc et bonne sante, Kristin.
Happy birthday, Jean-Marc. Our treat last night was that our order of Rouge-Bleu from the 128 Cafe wine dinner was ready so we able to enjoy some Dentelle. Thomas Liquors was overwhelmed by the orders for Rouge-Bleu from the wine dinner.
Jackie’s a beautiful young lady -takes after her mom: young and beautiful. Kristin, don’t worry about the scars, they will fade. Just stay out of the sun so you don’t damage your skin any more. My mother-in-law used to sit out in the sun to tan her legs, but now at 80+ her skin is like parchment and the slightest bump will tear the skin.
Dear Kristein… You look great . It looks like they did a nice job on the surgeries. I’m a So. Cal. gal (Irvine now) who really damaged her skin – we grew up with no existing sunscreen. Now I use La Roche Posay – it is great. I have also had a few laser treatments… cosmetic – which really bring back the skin… I am now 70 and my skin is good. But no sun for the last 40 years. And you know, in all the facials I have had in France – the estheticians are all horrified at my skin. But they have a different culture for skin… facials often, nice creams, and extreme care in the sun. In the 60’s here no one even knew what a facial was… let alone waxing. We have come a long way. Best wishes to you and Bon Anniversaire to Chief Grape. I love your writing…. thank you so much. Melinda Luvisi
Kristin, as I was reading your post, I felt a kaleidoscope of emotions, torn between the good news and the doctor’s warnings about the sun. I could feel empathy and concern vining about my throat…and then I heard my dad’s voice. “Kidlet” – what my dad always calls me when he’s about to impart some tidbit of wisdom. Mind you, dad is 87 and I am…well, let’s just say I’m his eldest daughter. So…”Kidlet,” he says. “Generally, when I stop banging my head against the wall of the inevitable, some third way emerges. It may not be the way I initially planned, it may not even be a way I want to go, but a third way – somewhere between what I want to do and what the world tells me I can do – pops up. I just have to have my eyes open to see it.” So, I take a deep breath for both of us, send a prayer of thanks that all is well, and hope we can both see that third way as it emerges. Hey, sun block, a shirt and some window film. It’s all good. You’ve got this covered…literally.:-) Big hugs to you from New York!
Linda
Thank you for being willing to share your skin issues with us all as a warning. Maybe I’ll bookmark this post and the one with the H scar to show to my daughter. She has olive skin and doesn’t even think that is dark enough. I’m after all the time about sunscreen since the cancer you have when 40 is based on the damage you do in your 30s.
The most important thing, to me, is that no matter what the doctor said in the end you look comfortable in your own skin. Isn’t that what we’re all trying for at any age?
And Happy Birthday to Jean Marc. Glad he made it home safely to celebrate with you.
Happy Happy Birthday from California. I hope that you’ve been having a great day!
Jean-Marc. . . Joyeux anniversaire. Plaise à Dieu qu’il en arrive beaucoup d’autres.
C’est l’occasion de prendre un verre de la réserve du producteur!
Les Frères Christian, George et Chris
from Victoria BC Canada
It doesn’t matter how old your skin looks…you are beautiful.
Looking great, Kristin! The Arizona sun is just being a bad loser with its latent effects.
Jean-Marc, bon anniversaire! There’s an old American saying from the Bluegrass music world that fits . . . ., “The older the violin, the sweeter the music”.
Bonne anniversaire Jean-Marc,
Je espere que votre voyage avec le vin a ete un grand succes!
Edie from Savannah
Joyeux anniversaire, Jean-Marc. Vous et Kristin, vous deux avez l’air très jeune.
Edie from Brunswick, Maine
Kristin:
So glad to hear that the third “spot” was not skin cancer. Those scars will fade.
Take care,
Edie from Savannah
This is the one I prefer – Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau…
x Gaye (London)
your very youthful spirit puts everything in balance.Greetings from Toronto Canada
I had an infectious disease doctor say to me, “Didn’t anyone tell you that after 30 it’s all about moisturizers?” (Dry skin has tiny cracks which allows bacteria to enter and your chances of infections.) Who knew? Hope you are well, and moist!
*increases chances for infection
Kristin,
I am an artist that is in love with faces. I paint portraits. I never see the marks of time on a face, I only see the nature of the person when I look in their eyes. Your face will always be beautiful because your heart is gorgeous too!
Susan from Bozeman, Montana
Happy Birthday, Jean-Marc! And Happy Unbirthday, Kristin! You are both mere kids, and you both LOOK it. Kristin, crows’ feet are just wonderful evidence that you have been smiling for years. As for your skin’s age ~ phooey, you look like a girl. Someone my age can make that call. I just went from 69 to 68, refusing to hit that other number. My younger grandchildren are troubled by that. One even asked his teacher if I could do that. He told me she said no. I said wait until she gets there, then she’ll know she can. Unless you aged 20 years in the last eleven months, I KNOW you look 25 or 30. So, now that we have that settled… Just enjoy being YOU.
Joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc!
Happy, happy birthday!
Seems everyone in your family is extremely beautiful inside & out. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for the prayers for my daughter, Kerry.
Bonne Anniversaire Jean-Marc —- I wish you many more!
Dear Kristin,
Thank you for sharing so much of your life. I think you are beautiful, inside & out. You could be in your 30’s!!!
Listen to the Dr. and stay out of the sun — I’m a redhead, so I relate to your sun issues. I grew up in San Diego, and loved the sun. Now I live on the coast of OR, with lots of rain and little sun. I do miss the sun, but my skin is much better.
Thanks again for your wonderful stories. Great photo of dad and daughter — both look happy.
Dear Jean-Marc,
We were so sorry to miss you in Portland! We were being grandparents on the other side of the country! Have a great birthday and know that each day life gets better and better! I can see that I am not the only one who has a gorgeous daughter!
Love, Carol and Glen
Bon Anniversaire Jean Marc!
Kristin, I can’t even see the scar on your forehead anymore!
Kristin!
This past weekend my 2 and a half year old grandson kept touching my cheek (where the wrinkles have collected) and feeling it over and over! Oh, well, I said, it’s the spirit within, not the wrinkles without! You have the spirit within and you are still quite gorgeous without!
Congratulations on the good skin news!
Love, Carol (in rainy Oregon)
Joyeux anniversaire!
Jean Marc enjoy your special day! I share your birthday, but not your year! Jerry, Loren and I will celebrate my day with a tennis match at Healdsburg High, then an official celebration in San Francisco this weekend.
Best wishes to you, Kristin and your family.
Love,
Victoria
We should all look so beautiful at any age!
Bon Anniversaire, cher Jean Marc! Meilleurs voeux pour un an plein de joie, sante, amis, et famille! Soit benit!
Jean Marc! Bonne Anniversaire! You are both sitll ‘kids’ to me, as I am 71 going on 35! It is all in our attitude toward life … I am a breast cancer survivor ( comme Jules) and have a heart problem, BUT I do not let either ‘spot of bother’ get me down! I am also an avid Francophile. I get up each day and thank God formy blessings and the opportunity to be a better me and then take on the day! I am still plying my trade as pro photographer and love it, it is my 24/7 passion! Kristin, I ,like everyone else, love your blog and adore you family! Keep us inspired with your writings….
Joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc! Hoping this is the best one ever, and only a prelude to many more wonderful birthdays to come.
Kristin, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. If I were guessing your age from this picture I would have said early 30something!
Jackie is absolutely beautiful also, she looks very French!
I agree that your doctor must be jealous but then perhaps she thought bluntness was necessary in order to impress on you how important it is to protect your skin in the future. I also have had skin cancers, two years ago I had a skin sarcoma removed from each leg.(And I have a scars to prove it). The scar on your forehead is not even noticeable unless you know to look for it! I am now compulsive user of sunblock so welcome to the club that seems to always be waiting for those of us with fair skin.
Your blog is so enjoyable, Kristin. Have you considered writing another book, a real autobiography with greater detail – when you saw Jean-Marc for the first time were you smitten? He obviously was with you or he would not have given you that note! The thing is, Kristin, your writing is so wonderful, so filled with love and good humour that your readers can’t get enough of your French life!
Love, enjoy a great day with Jean-Marc on his special day!
Kathy
Jean-Marc,
un bon anniversaire bien que tu ne sois pas a la maison avec ta famille. Bon courage pour ta tournee americaine et a bientot en Provence.
Je suis encore en Californie mais je rentre la semaine prochaine… pour les tulipes.
Bise Malou
Joyeux anniversaire, Chief Grape! Tu est sein et sauf chez toi!!!!!!
JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE Jean-Marc et j’espère que vous pourrez célébrer avec votre famille de retour chez vous. Je vous souhaite une merveilleuse année pour vos 45 ans, qu’elle vs apporte la santé, le succès et la réalisation de vos rêves! Je souhaite aussi que votre vin arrive un jour au Québec, j’ai hâte de le savourer. Et ma chère Kristin,vous êtes très jolie et vous ne faites pas votre âge! So enjoy life and have fun !Celebrate Jean-marc’s birthday avec une bonne bouteille de champagne !!!! Meilleurs souhaits de mon charmant village suttonais,
Clo
A very Happy Birthday, Jean-Marc. May you have many, many more to celebrate with your wonderful family.
Happy Birthday to Jean-Marc from Missouri. We hope to raise a glass to your new year on the 18th in Alleins.
John & Karen Stoeckley