Père et Fille. Jean-Marc and Jackie (did you read her letter on maquillage?). Tomorrow, March 29th, is Chief Grape's 45th birthday!
la prise de conscience (preez-deuh-kon-see-uhns)
: realization
Audio File: listen to Jean-Marc read the French words below: Download MP3 or Wav file
Cette prise de conscience était un peu troublante. Il parait que ma peau a vignt ans de plus que moi. This realization was a bit troubling. Apparently my skin is twenty years older than I am.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
She said I need to reapply sunblock every two hours, that when I drive I should put on a long-sleeved (linen) veste in summertime, and that I might consider having the windows in my home (where I work) coated with ultraviolet window film. But the kicker was, she said I have an old peau… She did say that, didn't she?
Standing in the dermato's office, I watch the scrutinizing regard of the doctor, who does not avert her eyes when delivering the conviction: "Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau!"
Because she says the word "jeune" several times in the same paragraph, I initially take it as flattery. Since when was middle age "young"? …But then the words begin to translate themselves, as French words do, slowly… surely—tick, tick, tick—until, like a grenade, they explode with meaning.
She never said I was young… she said I was younger than my skin… which I guessed, was old!
"44 year-old woman". Photo taken 4 weeks ago… those are stitches from the second basal cell surgery. My forehead is coming along, too…
.
No need to guess any further, the dermato is blunt: "You have prematurely old skin! Votre peau a vingt ans de plus que vous!"
I am tempted to shush her up, tempted to claim and enforce that universal rule of tact, only, reason tells me that tact is sometimes nothing more than a tool for illusionists: it is magician's smoke! I don't want Houdini, I want Dr H, whose higher goal it is–in telling me the truth about my skin–to prevent further dégâts.
Dr H. says I will need to catch up to my skin's age! The good news is I have twenty years to do so…. Meantime, I will need to slow down the "advancement" of my cellules–and prevent further skin cancers associated with older skin–by slathering on the sunblock, closing the curtains in my bright office, and staying out of the sun.
(It is a strange new goal, that of trying to catch up one's biological age to one's physical age! Weren't the two the same?)
The other good news was that the third mysterious growth (or the purpose of my doctor visit) turned out to be a harmless angiome–and not another invasive cell. OUF!).
I pay the doctor 42 euros, thank her for the "reassurance", and leave the office. When I get into my car I look into the rear-view mirror….
First, the crows feet leap out. Gosh, the lines around my eyes are deeper than I remembered their being… my skin looks tired, too.
I have the desire to google "44-year-old skin" or "44-year-old woman" just to see what I should look like. What, after all, should I look like?
In the end, I resist the urge to let google toy with my emotions. I am strong, tough as leather, and you might even say I have the skin to prove it.
French Vocabulary
père et fille = father and daughter
joyeux anniversaire = happy birthday
la veste = jacket
le/la dermato (dermatologue) = dermatologist
Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau = you are younger than your skin
Votre peau a vingt ans de plus que vous = your skin is twenty years older than you are
les dégâts (m) = damage
une cellule = cell
un angiome = angioma (a benign tumor made up of blood vessels). Our son Max was born with a dime-size bright red "angiome" on his forehead. The doctors referred to it as "une fraise" (a strawberry)
ouf! = phew!
Another snapshot from Chief Grape's USA wine tour. Here is Jean-Marc with Alex and Joanne Polner. Photo taken at Vestry Wines in NYC.
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Greetings from Littleton, Colorado, USA.
Kristin, you are a beautiful young woman, inside and out. Keep up the good work of taking good care of yourself.
Happy Birthday to Jean-Marc. I hope you have a great day.
I’m late reading “La prise de conscience” and I can’t add much to the good comments from readers, except to say THANKS FOR THE LAUGH, Kristin! This was a very funny posting. A serious subject, sure, but you had me chuckling throughout. Well done.
C’est le lendemain en France, but’s still your birthday in St. Louis, Jean-Marc. Bon anniversaire.
Bon Anniversaire,Jean-Marc, de Joanne (veste rouge)et Alex, visiteurs chez Vestry Wines, NY, 2012.
C’etait un tres grand plaisir a faire votre connaissance et a voir sur l’ordinateur les scenes des vignobles.
Jean-Marc,
Joyeux 45th Anniversaire!! What a gorgeous picture of you and Jackie. Enjoy your day and do something special.
Best wishes for a Happy Birthday and many even happier returns, Jean-Marc!
And Kristin, try not to worry about the “age” of your skin. You’re a lovely person, both inside and out!
Joyeux Anniversaire Jean-Marc. Hope you have a wonderful day with your family
I feel your pain Kristin, being 44 yrs old myself. The body is changing, not to mention I am forgetful now, along with other signs of aging. A friend who is 52 said it took her til 50 to get through her 10 yr long midlife crisis. I try not to complain…haha. I have been told I look younger than my years, and I can still keep up with the guys half my age at work. We are as young as we feel, right?
Bon et heureux anniversaire, cher Monsieur, le vigneron!
Bien à vous,
Cindy
PS Happy Birthday Jean-Marc!!
De l’avis de tous et de toutes, Kristin est S U P E R B E et charmante et son style vraiment raffiné. Nous tous apprécions ses très nombreuses qualités de mère et de femme exemplaires, et nous lui souhaitons beaucoup de bien-être.
Jean-Marc, vous êtes dans la fleur de l’âge, tout comme Kristin.
Soyez toujours unis dans la joie et la santé, entourés de vos enfants adorables ainsi que de votre chère famille.
JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE (à chacun son tour !!!)
et très bonne continuation.
nadine, napa calif
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU !!! You all made my day very special.
Science is the answer here I reckon! My husband is ALWAYS banging on about ultra violet. If you live in this world long enough, it will start to effect you, because exposure does. So I think, it is about exposure, not appearance. I am sad for your ‘old skin’ but jelous of your youthful appearance xx
Joyeux Anniversaire! Sorry I missed you in Houston.
Happy Birthday, Jean Marc! Et merci pour la degustation a Vestry Wines a NYC!
Kristin,
Years ago, someone said to Gloria Steinem, “Wow! You don’t look 49!” to which she answered, “This is what 49 looks like!” She didn’t buy into the bait to her vanity. Like your other readers, I think you are absolutely beautiful. If you have sun-damaged skin, that’s just where you are right now. It’s hard to take when people, even doctors, are blunt, but I think it was a medical, not a personal comment. Specialists can be nerdy, without great social skills–in any country! I found this annoying,too, then thought about it and realized I wouldn’t have it any other way. They SHOULD be thinking on a cellular level: who better to do that?
I thought Gus was Jules, too, and loved his comment. You do us all a service by following your dreams.
Bonne fête, Chief Grape, from your Québécois friends in Asheville! It was great seeing you again this year at Bouchon. And Kristin, you and your skin look lovely and much younger than your age would suggest!
Kerry Shannon and Gary Droghini
Dear Linda M. Davies, your dad is very wise. And you write very well.
Mara in Wisconsin
Joyeux Anniversaire, Jean-Marc. I love following your beautiful family and look forward to one day finding your wine. We will salute you
today with a glass of something bubbly.
Happy 45th, Jean-Marc! No need to advise you to lift a glass of your favorite red to celebrate! We are now in Wales (as of 9 days ago) and will be moving into our lovely old Welsh cottage in about 3 weeks time!
Celebrations! Beauty, Anniversaire and the joy of living. Thank you for sharing. Its very inspiring to know how resilient the human body is. You look absolutely radiant. Lines are only the roadmaps of our journey through life. My husband just had reconstructive face surgery and am relieved to see that the scars do disappear. Doctors can say some questionable things, don’t believe anything that makes you doubt the beauty that you are and your ability to create health in your life.
Happy Birthday, Chief Grape! Kristin, you are gorgeous and definitely do not look your age!
A Jean-Marc de JeanClaude (sans trait d’union):
Un foie gras délicat, quelques fromages affinés, un énorme gâteau avec les bougies (pas trop) et beaucoup de bonnes bouteilles…Rouge-Bleu, bien sur. Que la fête commence!
For Kristin:
Once a beauty, always a beauty.
I am not au courant about your final choice of surgeon, but I will tell you that the scar on your forehead is healing beautifully and will soon be undetectable. I predict the same for the one on your nose.
Like you, I am blonde, blue-eyed and fair-skinned and have had too-many-too-count skin cancer excisions and surgeries.
I’ve decided in the past year that the dermato can operate on every site except my face. For mon visage, I now will go only to a plastic surgeon. Here’s hoping I heal as well as you!
Lots of love and blessings to you and all of your wonderful family and Happy Birthday to Jean-Marc.
Joyeux anniversaire jm… Kristin u r beautiful inside and out
Happiness for you! You are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. Blessings for you and your family.
Joyeux Anniversaire Jean Marc!!! Have a WONDERFUL time and enjoy each moment, catching up with your lovely family. Treasure that photo of you and Jackie forever!
Kristin-You look wonderful and I don’t think the doctor’s words were very kind or true. Just do your best to keep protected and your skin will recover and stay beautiful. Your scars are healing nicely. You’re very brave to share personal photos like that. I think I would be too vain and not want others to see them. Thanks for being real and honest.
I hope you have a lovely reunion with Jean Marc. I’m sure he’ll be telling you over and over how much he missed you and what a stunner you are! 😉
All my best, Carolyn Dahm
Dear Kristin: I just today learned about a couple of cures for skin cancer: black salve and cannabis oil. If you are interested, here is the video I watched:
I long for you to be healthy and happy and never worry ever again about skin cancer.
Sonoma County, CA to Chief Grape: Joyeux Anniversaire, Jean-Marc!
Santé à vous! You have a rich life and a beautiful family.
Bonne chance with your USA wine tour.
Kristi–Ton visage et ton âme are lovely. Ne t’inquiètes pas!
Your readers cherish you and your wonderful famille.
Merci for sharing yourself, and them.
Bisous à tous from Santa Rosa.
Happy Birthday, Jean-Marc! Hope it has been a wonderful birthday. My husband and I enjoyed meeting you a couple of weeks ago at the tasting/pouring of your wines at La Fromagerie in Alexandria, VA. {We enjoyed a bottle of the rose tonight.) We hope to see you again on your wine tour next year.
Happy birthday Jean-Marc from Gold Coast, Australia, a wonderful age wish you much joy and good health for your remaining years.
Kristin, you grew up in a similar climate to me New Zealand (where the ozone layer is very thin and the sun penetrates so strongly and certain areas of Australia the same. Since I was 60 I have had a crinkly face, and learned to accept it, but needing to have a melanoma removed from my breast at 70, I received a comment from surgeon afterwards, “that will teach you to run around in a bikini in your youth.” Well it wasn’t quite a bikini just a two piece, we experienced these joys of life without realising the ultimate outcome .
Now people tell me when I say have such a lot of wrinkles they tell me I have a great smile to compensate, so put on a happy face, as the song goes.
All the good wishes are going to you for succesful surgery and outcome.
felicitations June, Gold Coast
Happy Birthday, Jean-Marc! Congratulations
on your success & your beautiful family.
Maybe I can find some of that Rouge Blue
here in Colorado soon? Kristin, I have had
many cancers(BCC & squamous) removed from my
face & it is very hard to find the scars
even when you know where to look.
Barbara Costello
Hurray! My internet is working for two seconds again!! Think we are up for a new computer!
A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Chief Grape who sounds as though he has had a very busy and successful wine tour of the States!
Kristi, I have been following your stories for I think 3 or 4 years now and you are a gorgeous person xx….quick press send….
Happy Birthday, Joyeux anniversaire, to you, Jean-Marc from South Carolina. I tried very hard to get reservations at the restaurant in Ashville, N.C. to meet you but wasn’t successful. Maybe next year! Have a great year! Polly Adkins, Fort Mill, SC
Many Happy Returns to Chief Grape! Of course, your celebration is probably now about over! But, then just celebrate every day!
My husband just got the news that he has melanoma on his back! He will need surgery of course, but he beat melanoma 10 years ago and we are planning on the same good results this time! But, Kristin, I know how scary this cancer business can be and it is no fun, let me tell you! It kind of seems like it’s all around us! So, it’s even more important to celebrate birthdays – and to celebrate every single day! We have had to cancel our trip to France this Spring/Summer, so unfortunately we will not get to meet you in person as we had hoped. Maybe next year! God willing!
Milles Bisous!
Judi
Kristin, I think you are beautiful in the skin you have! Don’t listen to those doctors, they don’t know what they are talking about!
N’est ce pas Joyeuse Anniversaire? We are in France for 2 months from Seattle. Even in rainy Seattle I put 30 sunblock on my face neck and hands as I am outside a lot. About 10 years ago I also had Mohs surgery on my face, so just take care and enjoy your wonderful life. Love your blog!
Joyeux anniversaire, Chief Grape! Through Kristin’s Word-A-Day, I feel as though you and your wonderful family are part of my family. I do hope to visit Provence and Rouge-Bleu one day. It was great seeing you in Alexandria and I hope you will come again next year and bring the beautiful Kristin with you.
Ah, we have the same birthday. March 29! Now I’m doubly sad that we did not meet when you were here in NYC just now. I’m a fan of your wife & widh you all the best!
Happy Birthday Jean-Marc. I’m so sorry I didn’t get to see you in New York. 🙁
I hoe it was a great trip.
Wishing you a wonderful birthday year and may all the best things come your way.
Bisous!
Kristi,
You’re absolutely gorgeous! And you don’t look old. The doctor was just jealous of your beauty!
But DO heed her warning on the sunscreen and use a physical sunsceen (zinc) and not a chemical one which isn’t as good. And don’t forget your arms and hands. Even the top of your feet if you’re in sandals.
Kristin,
Tu es aussi jolie que ta fille! Ne t’inquiete pas!
Joyeux anniversaire Jean Marc. You and Kristi are definitely young looking so Kristi, stop fretting.
Kristin, Never mind the years and the age of self or skin, you are so photogenic and always look beautiful to me.
Sunny & 70s today.
Blessings to you and yours.
Always listen to your dermatologist as she or he see your/our skin as it really is. Flattery can be dangerous if one disregards a doctor’s warning and listens to the untrained; skin cancer is dangerous and the more awareness of one’s own skin condition is important. Here in California, we hear daily of friends going in for melanoma removals (as we too have undergone) so less sun, more protection, a daily or weekly Vitamin D tablet are all now part of our lives and while it is a nuisance as we age (74 here) we need to be more aware of skin cancers and how to do our best to avoid them. A good friend died recently of melanoma on one lung! Cancer is cancer and it travels in the bloodstream so be aware and do what you must do to avoid this insidious condition. Love your blog.
Bonne anniversaire Jean Marc!
Kristen, I love your photos, and as usual all
of the above comments must be helpful to you;
what can I add? Tu est vraiment belle. I’ve dcided that when living alone it is SO easy to become obsessive, so
I’m trying to keep mine positive! Yes, French
people are blunt. Good thing they also love to laugh. And didn’t we all waste time getting tanned when young…. I too have an ‘ANGIOME”,
but mine is in my brain and has destroyed my
balance. French Word A Day is still great, and improving. Dorothy
Bon Anniversaire,Jean-Marc,from Redlands, California!
I apologize for being a pest but these skin cancers can be prevented and make your skin look younger as well with topical chemo. Please ask your dermatologue about it. No more surgery and no more scars. This is for real. Winn Gregory, MD, FACS. I have used it for 30+ years and put myself out of work as a surgeon!!!
Hello,
ARGOUSIER, is found all over Corsica.
This beautiful island named KALLISTE by the ancient greek.