If I were a 20-year sober cat, this is what my life would look like. I love this imperfect, slightly crooked picture and hope you do too for a future postcard. Meantime, many thanks for your postcard orders!
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
“In The Clouds”
I don’t know what it is about my mind but sometimes the most obvious things escape me. I am a dreamer. Blame it on that. But when I quit floating through the moment, and stop to focus, I do see the picture!
This week, and today specifically, I am pausing to visualize two decades of sobriety. Twenty years ago today I woke up to a new and blessed beginning. I remember it vividly: the decision to stop drinking. It came with tears. These weren’t larmes of regret, they were and remain tears of surrender.
This new beginning happened around the time this blog began, and it–this promise to myself–would become an anchor. No matter how many times we moved homes, or the ups and downs of life, this gift of sobriety would hold me steady through many trials and changes.
If sobriety is an anchor, faith is the solid ground beneath it. What would I do without my faith? I don’t know, but one thing I would not do is give it up. Because looking over 55 years of life, Faith is the one constant–faith and grace (can the two words be interchanged?)
I was walking home from church yesterday when I overheard a young woman walking toward me. The woman with the Australian accent was saying to her companion: “When I look back over my life…I realize God has always been there….
I thought to myself, Amen. My next thought was, Maybe that was an angel…an angel with an Australian accent!
No matter how far along my faith walk, or my sobriety walk, I still need these reminders that I am not alone. God has my back.
Back to the woman’s message…about finding God in retrospect…This is exactly what I say to my grown children or to anyone who struggles with faith: Just look back over your life… then you will see God in action. It is grace that carries us through. Are you ever amazed at how you have survived? But for the grace of God go I.
Last week our son joined us here for lunch. I left the chili to simmer and joined my husband and Max in the garden, where they were enjoying apéritifs. Two bottles of wine were opened for the tasting, and on the table, a bucket of sea urchins the two men had just caught. I picked up a spoon and began savoring les oursins, while carefully tuning into the conversation.
Max was telling his dad about how he had emptied our cellar of more wines, transferring them to his own storage unit at his new condo.
”That’s great, Max!” I said, relieved to have more space freed up in our home (I’m hoping the guys will move my washing machine to the cellar, and free up space in our bathroom—which we will hopefully one day renovate.)
Jean-Marc chuckled, "Good thing you took it before Mom drank it!"
"You two should thank me!" I said, ignoring my husband’s joke. “Think of all the wine and money I have saved you over the years. Just imagine…
…At one-half bottle a day (sounds like a lot but it's = to a glass at lunch and two glasses at dinner…)
…times 4 weeks (let’s say 15 bottles a month…)
…times one year ( 180 bottles)
…times 19 years…
That is almost 3500 bottles!
While Max and I were busy being very impressed by this calculation, Jean-Marc accidentally redeemed himself from the bad joke he told earlier:
"It has been 20 years, Chérie."
Oh my goodness. He is right! And today, February 6th, marks the day! I may be a little in the clouds…but I am still floating around, amongst family and life, enjoying every precious moment. Had I not made that decision 20 years ago, I don’t know where I would be today. And that is a sobering thought.
IN CELEBRATION: The Lost Gardens Memoir, now $20
In celebration of this milestone, our story "The Lost Gardens" is now a symbolic $20 instead of $29 when you purchase with this link. If you have been meaning to read about our life at two vineyards–following my sobriety–this is the time! Our husband/wife memoir is online, readable in blog format. Upon checkout, you will be given two passwords to enter the website, where you can begin reading right away. Click here to order The Lost Gardens Memoir
Bye for now, and back to dreaming up future postcards. How do you like the two images in today's post? Let me know and thank you for your postcard orders. and for the various ways you help out this journal. I truly appreciate your support.
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Immensely proud of my wonderful wife.
Thank you for all the sharing. A ripple of gratitude for the clarity and joy the continued abstinence has made possible reaches far distant shores and many hearts, including this one. Well done. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for sharing
your milestone and
your faith – God at
Work! You are
a blessing!
That is truly a wonderful milestone! And I’m encouraged that you acknowledge Who has walked beside you every day these last 20 years. We can do nothing good without Him (John 15:5).
Thanks for sharing so we can be thankful with you!
Thank you for sharing. I love your posts.
Jodi
Yes I love your posts… and 20 years a milestone of sobriety… congratulations
Faith is also very important and like you I am a dreamer and in fact living
the dream of living in France! Having fell in love with the country on my first trip abroad aged 17!
In your mathematical equation, how many people do you think you have inspired by your shining example? 🙏🎉💕
Just a little note about noticing how God sprinkles the breadcrumbs to follow…
whether it’s overhearing affirmations, noticing coincidental or personally meaningful signs, or just listening to your heart and gut, the joy that stems from that is indescribable.
Congratulations on your milestone and the blessing of sharing it with thousands who are emboldened by it.
Congratulations Kristi! Je t’aime, Eternal, ma force! Eternel, mon roc, ma forteresse, mon liberateur! Psaume 18:2
Congratulations Kristi! With grace and determination you have achieved such a milestone. I am so proud of you and thankful for your presence in my life! ❤️
Thank you for sharing, Kristi. 20 years! What a milestone.
I wish your book was in print, but I understand authors often only earn a pittance that way. Quel dommage! I remember I first discovered your blog from reading your first book!
Anyway, to the point, amongst my current health issues, I have extreme light sensitivity (I can even only drive the few hours when the sun is directly overhead or on overcast days), so it’s difficult to read & type online. I rarely comment here anymore (easier for me to comment on IG; I like, too, that on IG I get notified of any replies; here I never know).
I love the laundry photo. I used to see that in Chinatown in NY & it made me smile thinking of my Italian grandmother & my putting wash on the line as a child. I hope at some point you are able to print some cards in sizes that won’t cost extra post in the US & maybe some with envelopes (or sizes where we could buy blank envelopes ourselves online or at stationery or art & craft stores). Please excuse any typos.
Wishing you much love & another sober 20 years!
Congratulations on your 20 year sobriversary! And the photo of the cat hanging out to dry is fantastic. I appreciate your faith witness too. We need that so much in our broken world!
Kristi – a momentous anniversary for you.
Thank you for your wonderful blog.
Wishing you all the best.
Oh, Kristi, thank you for sharing. In our weakest moments His great strength carries us through. There is great hope in knowing that. May the Lord bless your day.
I don’t know how I did not know that you did not drink! I don’t either, and I always felt weird when visiting France. Like I was the only person who did not drink wine with dinner! Thank you for your post!
Congratulations on a milestone anniversary! Your joy exudes right through the screen (although I prefer jumps off the page, old school). Savour this memorable day, Kristi. It is one to remember. 🎉🙏🏻🔑
I love the picture of the bicycle and the baskets. That would make a wonderful post card.
your view of god in your life is a good way to account for the past and have a favorable memory of it.
Appraisals are difficult but we do them all the time. Seeing a beneficent spirit alongside us is absolutely terrific.
Merci
Arlette
Felicitations, Félicitations. J’adore lire votre blog. Vous êtes une telle source d’inspiration.
Well done Kristi.
I have appreciated your faith flags over the years. I applaud you on The Journey and your journals/blog of making a life changing decision and sticking to it. Bravo.
(On our household spreadsheet, I have a separate column for wine and alcoholic drinks. It’s my way of doing the math but I like yours also.)
I would add my agreement to envelope sizes and mail costs in the U S of A.
Félicitations, Kristi, d’être arrivée à cet événement majeur de votre sobriété ! Vous avez bien mérité le droit de fêter cet anniversaire important. Je ne peux pas imaginer vos défis, surtout pendant vos années aux vignobles ! Mais vous avez persévéré jusqu’à aujourd’hui.
Bon boulot ! (Ou comme nous disons chez moi, Bumbelo !)
Bonne chance et bonne journée,
Maureen
You are a STRONG woman!
Bravo, Kristi!!
I’m not really allowed to math, but by my calculations, you have made it through roughly 7300 days doing a hard thing. Congratulations to you! Your words, photos and love of the French language have been a real joy to me. I’m glad you’re here!
Congratulations, Kristi, your sobriety is a miracle —as it always is— and I’m delighted to share my actual birthday with you. At 79, my days are more low key and the family more spread, but the thread of God’s Grace and protection is ever strong and heaven is closer every day. I will be looking for you there!
Congratulations Kristi. Such a milestone. As someone who travels the same sober path I love hearing how you can be sober and live and work in a wine culture. Of course love the pictures and stories as well. Mimi
Happy birthday, chère Leslie! Love your words. 💕🎉
Dear Kristi,
Congratulations on a most amazing journey. Yours is truly a beautiful story. How you have managed to be where you are having been surrounded by wine these past twenty years is a testament to your faith, strength and resilience. And a testament to the love of your family.
I well understand the fragility of life. God has had my back too.
From the Prayer of St Patrick. These words always leave me with serenity. May they comfort you…
Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me. Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
Most sincere congratulations on your 20 years!
In thinking of the distinction between human faith in our Creator and Jesus grace as our Savior, I always turn to the old Latin phrase; Sola Gratia, Sola Fide, Sola Scriptura, which translates into English as, of course, Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone. A beautiful summation of the Christian faith, I always think.
🙂
In that same vein, I’d like to put forth the suggestion that post cards of some of the beautiful, historical churches of France be included in your post card series. It’s always so wonderful to see how men & women of faith felt led by their faith to praise God through the architecture & art in churches built in love & gratitude to God for their salvation from sin, death & hell. Beautiful places where all Christians can gather to worship & praise God’s glory, amazing!
Congratulations on 20 years sober – an accomplishment of the highest order. May grace sustain you through all the years to come.
K, I loved learning this Latin phrase and will carry it close to my heart:
Sola Gratia, Sola Fide, Sola Scriptura. Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.
And what a great postcard idea to photograph the historical churches of France!
Congratulations on twenty years of sobriety!! What an incredible gift from God!
I add my congratulations on this milestone! Both of you did it together. Greetings from Prairie Village, Kansas USA (We visited a small portion of your wine country in Bordeaux in 2002 and have many memories of a fabulous trip)
Congratulations on your milestone. What an inspiration….
Congratulations on 20 years of grace.
That is wonderful that you could support your family and they could support you through so much sobriety and wine-making.
The cat is a roll model for risk-taking, the sybaritic life, and self-definition. “Oh, no, this cat perch couldn’t possibly do: it isn’t high enough or precarious enough or outdoors enough. Anyway, it’s just not me!”
👍🏻 as a postcard
Congratulations, Kristi! Being involved with a wine grower and merchant must have been challenging, but your faith has brought you through these 20 years. My son also gave up drinking, 3 years ago, and we are so proud of him!
The high-living kitty would be great as a postcard photo!
Kristi, you are an inspiration for so many reasons. Congratulations on your sobriety milestone, which represents so many little decisions made for the right reasons.
On God’s always having been there … Have you heard the song Perfectly Loved? It is by Rachael Lampa, featuring Toby Mac. Here is a link:
The song expresses the concept you felt blessed by when the “angel” passerby spoke. You have always been perfectly loved!
My heart is filled with admiration for your 20 years of sobriety and gratitude for these beautiful posts as well. You are indeed one strong and creative woman. Mille félicitations, Kristin.
Our dear Kristi,
We are so proud of you and are sharing in this most wonderful of accomplishments. Your faith, strength, and love is an absolute inspiration for us all.Felicitations, ma chere ,et gros calins a tu,Jean Marc et votre famille.
There is another sentence from my daily reading in “God Calling”( which I think we both share)that never fails to center me when I am wandering off track: joy is the daughter of calm.
Oh yes.And what an example of this you always are.Thank you. Truly no words. Arms tight around all of you.
Love
Natalia
Love the photo of the bike and the baskets.
Beautiful posting. Congratulations!
It is an honor to congratulate you for your dedication and commitment to be present in Life and Love! You are such a gift, dear friend! I’m thankful that you are here shining your bright light and sharing with us. You are a source of great inspiration- boldly living your truth and your dreams!
Kristin,
It’s heartwarming to see these responses to you, your family, and your strength. Impressed by your math, too, as one way of looking at the accomplishment.
Rosalie🌹Colorado
Congratulations!! You are an inspiration to so many of your readers. Using your free will and discipline to create the life you and God wanted for you.. the very best to you and your family. Both pictures are appealing but if I had to choose it would be the baskets/bicycle picture. But that cat is so cute. ??
Thank you for sharing your joy, your accomplishment, and your faith. That openness about the most meaningful source of inspiration is often discouraged for fear of “offending” someone who doesn’t think that way. Well, we all have a choice, and therein lies the gift of grace and mercy – faith. One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me.” You continue to maintain sobriety, I continue to survive and even find joy in the “new normal” of widowhood after 51 years, and it seems both of us stay attuned to the many ways God brings us who and what we need to persevere. May He continue to “restore your soul” each day as He does mine. Many blessings, Janet
Dear Kristi,
I had no idea of all you have been through, and I am deeply moved by your sharing
of your experience. I also admire you even more for your talent and the joy you
create for others.
Mille fois merci and warmest wishes for your continued happiness and that
of your family.
Love,
Wendy
Congratulations on your milestone achievement!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have been in recovery for 6 years and cannot wait to continue celebrating a sober life with people like you!
Congratulations Kristi!
I just finished Dry January and I though, well if I can do it for a month then why not forever!
Blessings to you!
Eileen
Congratulations Kristi! You have achieved so much in your life. This is a real milestone!
Be Well
Regards,
Nancy LoBalbo