Cistus flowers high up in one of France's most blossoming villages. Don't miss all the colorful photos in this edition, click over to the blog for the full post.
TODAY'S WORD: "alentours"
: surroundings, vicinity
FRENCH SOUND FILE: Click the link to hear Jean-Marc pronounce the French words in today's post. Then scroll down to the vocabulary section to check your French comprehension.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
Jean-Marc has not been feeling well again, so our plans for a two-day escapade were up in the air last Friday. When finally we could not decide either way what to do, we just did. Typing this now my husband’s old saying comes back to me: Mieux vaut une mauvaise décision que pas de décision du tout. Better a bad decision than no decision at all.
A change of scenery turned out to be une bonne décision. One thing to love about France is how quickly the landscape changes in so little space. An hour east of La Ciotat, and we were entering Le Lavandou (the word reminds me of “soft lavender” for the way it is pronounced). No lavender fields here, but plenty of flowers and exotic trees (like les tamaris) and we were soon to enjoy softness on the cushioned transats at the beach.
We found the hairpin turnoff Max had warned us about and took the narrow, winding road down to Tamaris Plage in Pramousquier Bay. Parking in the lot belonging to the restaurant, we left our overnight bags in the car–a no-no in France. As my belle-soeur says, “never leave so much as a mouchoir in your vehicle or risk someone breaking the window to steal it!” But if we were throwing caution to the wind it’s because we had a lot on our minds–and stolen pajamas were the least of our soucis.
My husband, for one, was on my mind. As for what was on his, that was, and still is, half the battle–for depression is a war of the mind. Jean-Marc’s latest episode began 5 or 6 months ago and, in finally recording it here, I’ve gone against plans to “share only the lovely things”–indeed a sticky note on my desk reads: A writer’s duty is to lift readers up. I admire that thought by E.B. White. But frankness and transparency are lovely things too. They reveal our shared human condition.
Now, if what is on the mind is half the battle, then what’s the other half? Jean-Marc is feeling his way forward in the darkness, but so far trust, courage, faith, perseverance and meds are soulagements. Leaving no stone unturned along the path back to peace, those pebbles on the beach in Pramousquier Bay, where we walked hand-in-hand, became solid reminders to persévérer.
Returning from our shorefront stroll, Jean-Marc rested on the chaises-longues, feelings of oppression and defeat washing over him in waves. Positive reminders and comforting words helped, but when a man napping nearby startled us with his thundering ronflements we both enjoyed a spontaneous chuckle. As for our snoring Samaritan, he was oblivious to his cathartic part in lifting a stranger’s heart.
At the end of the day, nobody broke into our bagnole to steal our pajamas. At least one of us was relieved by this finding. As for the other, relief doesn’t come easily to him at this time. But many, regular reassurances help. Prayer works. And humor temporarily breaks the spell.
* * *
For anyone out there struggling with a setback in body, mind or spirit, experience shows things will get better. Accrochez-vous. Tenez bon. Hang on. And if you are alone, take courage: someone, somewhere cares about you. Chances are a lot of people do.
Thank you for keeping Jean-Marc in your thoughts and prayers. I leave you with some colorful pictures from our périple to Bormes-les-Mimosa and ses alentours.
Amicalement,
Kristi
We appreciate the support of friends and family. Someone dear to us recently wrote, "We know Jean-Marc is going through some inner turmoil now, but that is due to his sense of adventure and resourcefulness, the gifts of a true pioneer, and understandably nerve-wracking." Read more about this pioneering spirit in our 2019 vineyard memoir The Lost Gardens.
FRENCH VOCABULARY
une escapade = escape, getaway, trip
mieux vaut une mauvaise décision que pas de décision du tout = better a bad decision than no decision at all
La Ciotat = our town, the next port east of Cassis
Le Lavandou = a town and commune in the Var department in the Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur region of France
le tamaris = salt tree, tamarisk
le transat = sunbed
la belle-soeur = sister-in-law
le mouchoir = tissue, Kleenex
le soucis = worry, trouble, problem
le soulagement = help, relief, respite
la chaise longue = sunbed, sun lounger
le ronflement = snoring
la bagnole = car (in slang)
accrochez-vous = hang on
tenez bon = hang in there
le périple = trek, expedition, journey
les alentours = surroundings, surrounding area
Looking over the town of Bormes les Mimosas
Getting ready to close up shop for the day
So many boutiques…
A hat shop too!
A charming trompe l'oeil or "fools the eye" on the side of a building
Venelle des Amoureux "Lovers' Alley"
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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Prayers indeed for Jean-Marc. Depression is so difficult for both sufferers and partner. The best moment for you both was undoubtedly “l’homme en renflements” – a brief moment of endorphins to dilute the gloomy serotonins.
I am praying that God gives you both the strength you need to overcome this illness. Thank you for sharing with all of us.
Kristi
It is becoming known that depression is a result of neuroinflammation
Data are building that the use of antiinflammatory nutraceutical and pharmaceutical agents
Obtainable over the counter ( eg from Amazon, and SwansonVitamins.com) are
Low dose lithium ororate
Magnesium citrate
Astaxanthin (best is Zanthosyn from Cardax)
Lactoferrin ( best is from Jarrow)
Omega-3 fatty acids from fish and/or krill oil
Selenium
Niacinamide
Adequate vitamin C and E and B complex from a good multivitamin preparation
Lysine ( at bedtime for enhanced sleep)
Follow the dosing instructions on the bottles
These in addition to any prescribed medication
Please try and let me know
Warmth
John H Abeles MD
Ah Kristi, I wish you peace. So hard to be in your position. It is a helpless feeling. And the depression is « catching » I hope you can find some joy for you. Love and bisous to you and Jean Marc
I’m thinking good thoughts for you both. And I’m regretting not having popped into Le Vin Sobre to say hello to your hubby while my brother was visiting a few days ago. I will definitely do so next time. Xo
Hello, Kristi! “Soucis” is plural, so in the word list you need “souci.” Jean-Marc, you, and your family deserve to be happy. (Who knows, perhaps some of that nice MD’s suggestions will help.) The photos are simply beautiful. My thoughts are with you.
Very courageous & vulnerable to share this update. Thank you for doing so as you express confidence in your loyal readers. Best wishes to you both. Sending prayers & good thoughts your way.
E
Dear Kristi
Depression is so hard. I feel for you. Everyone hurts when depression pervades. I hope your short break away marks a turning point towards a lighter time. All the very best from Downunder. Bisous to you both, Mazzie
Bon courage Jean-Marc et Kisti. Le timing de ma lecture aujourd’hui es parfait! Meci pour le partage franc et les mots d’encourgements.
xo
Depression runs in my family, and it’s hard for others to understand. Tenez bon, Jean Marc!
Be strong and persevere. Take comfort from all the people who encourage and support and care for you and your family.
On a lighter note, I always found the words “chaise longue” to be interesting – of course it is literally “long chair”. When an English speaker saw that they changed it to “chaise lounge” which is what it is called in America. A simple movement of the letter “u”. They probably thought it was a typo!
Your love and support are wonderful medecine for this invisible, horrible disease, along with all the natural, homeopathic supplements your caring Dr.reader/fan suggested.And of course a prescribed anti-depressant helps. I know too many people stuggling with this, it’s a lifelong battle, but with the love and attention you give Jean-Marc, I’m positive he will overcome the dark moments. Living where you do is definitely a plus, thank you for the lovely photos! And big hugs and bon courage to both of you!
Chere Kristin — I am thinking about you both. That you both can still chuckle at the ronflement of a napping neigbhbor is a wonderful sign. Sending prayers for continuing strength, courage, creativity, and laughter together.
Suzanne…well said. From first-hand experience, I know how important it is to have been accurately diagnosed by a competent psychiatrist before treatment can begin. There might be an additional condition going on in conjunction with the depression.
Thinking of you both and sending good thoughts your way. You have both battled Jean-Marc’s depression long enough to know when you need those helpful getaways and break in routine. Bon courage !
Prayers for you and Jean-Marc. Your vocabulary list incluses ‘accrochez-vous’ = hang on. It reminded me of the ELO song, Hold on tight/Accroche-toi à ton rêve. I played it and it lifted my spirits as I’m in CoVid confinement. Maybe it will bring just a little smile/souvenir to your husband, too. Bisous!! 🥰
Thinking of you and your precious family. Love every day
Depression is an illness. There are many medications available and no shame in using medications. Zoloft
has been in my pillbox for years. Prayer and lovely vistas don’t cure depression bur anti depressants can
bring one back to a good life.
Praying for blue skies again for my dear friend JM and you RB. Read something the other day that I thought was simple yet so profound…about trials…I will find and resend. In the meantime, know you are all in my thoughts and prayers. LOVE you all! Time for a call soon! XOXOXO RB
Kristi,
Sending you hugs and prayers for you and your family. I read the comment from Dr. Abeles, I hope his suggestion helps Jean-Marc. Depression is so difficult to understand. May God be with you all. Stay Strong!
For Jean-Marc, trois bisous! For you, a hug! Lovely photos make me think I need to go there. Really very nice photos, Kristi. They give one a sense of the place(s). Please ask Jean-Marc if he knows a rose Les Jardins – Saint Antonin Faugeres. It has become one of our favorites which we can purchase at Princeton Corkscrew.
Sending you both lightness and some humour. When darkness lands it can really feel very very heavy.
In my experience I can just say that doing The Work of Byron Katie is life changing … I can highly recommend it and especially for depression. Often the roots lie in what we are thinking… even if it’s a simple little thought like
– I shouldn’t be feeling depressed.
Or my other favourites
– This will never go away.
– there is something wrong with me
– it must be in the genes … etc !
These thoughts used to be especially stressful!
And having questioned them… they are seen to be not true at all. Every now and then mind tries to throw a good punch but it’s quickly seen and not believed anymore. If it still sticks and causes trouble – it gets questioned!
So I say let mind go and be depressed… or try to come up with its most stressful thought… and just stay and watch it from a place of neutral observation.
This brings great power. After all, no thought is ever personal.
Many many blessings to you and Jean Marc.
There is also relief in knowing… this too, shall pass.
Love
Kristi – thanks for sharing this- I think that sharing difficult times or sad things can also lift people up. Sending healing thoughts and courage.
Beauty, nature, sea, and the benign indifference of a nearby snorer!
Perfect prescription!
I too appreciate your candor.
We all have demons who visit. I think Jean Marc may have more than his share, not to minimize what he is dealing with.
Wishing you many more outings with snorers, or anything that brings you joy.
DITTO to all of the above encouraging support and suggestions for OTC treatments.
I just listened to two podcasts that may be helpful. Sanjay Gupta talks about the science behind Gratitude. Quite astounding what counting our blessings in a meaningful and deliberate way can do to the brain.
Another by Sanjay is more unusual in that new microbiome discoveries point to how our gut can heal our brain- in fact our whole body. Google FMT- but also listen to his suggestions (and those of other doctors) about our diet. ( i.e. News to me that meat can interfere with our gut by destroying some microbes we need.) Worth listening to!
Bonne chance. Tenez bon. Petit a petit…
Kristin and Jean-Marc, I am so sorry that this dreadful disease has returned to you. We are sending you good, healing thoughts.
Thinking of you and Jean-Marc. Sending prayers, love and big hugs.
Prayers are being sent your way. Depression is such a complicated issue. The one who suffers with it can’t just shake it. And the one who wants to help can’t find enough ways to help. I hope some fresh air and a change of scenery, along with meds, give some relief. Love conquers all!
Depression is so derailing to every life it touches. Medication is a must and the suggestions were very good. Not every Rx works for everyone. Sometimes, a mix of 2 can bring better results. So important to be under a doctors care so they can be monitored for best results. Therapy can be a helpful adjunct to Rx. Depression is an Illness and needs treatment to bring relief. Thank you for sharing and it may help someone who is struggling to seek help.
Thank you for sharing. Your post will probably help people more than you realize. Sometimes just one word can help someone through the day. Be kind… to yourself and others!
Hi Kristi and Jean Marc,
I’m so sorry that you all are going through JM’s depression. I know it is a terrible disease and so many people suffer from it. My mother suffered from it and it was tough as a kid to see her in bed with the covers almost covering her head. As a child I didn’t really know what was wrong but now looking back I know. I will keep Jean Marc in my prayers and also you because I know it is hard on the spouse to see a loved one go through this.
Thank you for sharing the beautiful village of Bormes-les-Mimosas.
Kristy and Jean Marc,
My heart is with you both. Rough times. May you both get through to the brighter side as soon as can be.
With love and prayers,
Danielle
Thank you for sharing REAL life, which is not all roses…and Lavender. Smiling vibes are now sent from Scottsdale to J-M (and you too, Kristi)! Love to you both until and after the cloud lifts.
Hi Kristin,
I am thinking about you and will pray for you when I remember. This helped me today in that I am in the same position as you.
Much love,
Joan
Having fought depression for many years, I will add one thing to all the excellent suggestions above. That is laughter. Just like the snoring gentleman lifted your mood for the moment. Over the years I have collected cartoons, books, photos, and anything else that makes me laugh. An hour scouring through my collection has frequently improved my life at least for a while.
Also, thank you so much for your photos, and the way they capture the essence (to me, anyway) of France. The mis-matched furniture pieces that blend harmoniously, the square street signs with intriguing names, the ancient walls blending into modern construction, the unexpected artwork, and the windows with extravagant window curtains flanked by shutters with flaking paint. I miss it all. Thank you for the brief photographic visits.
I am always delighted to see you, and read you. Courage a Jean-Marc. Sometimes we have to put our affairs in the hands of higher authorities. I say that to myself as I navigate through rough waters, and I am grateful to you for lifting my spirits with words, and photos. You are correct, a lot of people care, as we do for Jean-Marc without meeting face to face.
Hugs to you both
Dear Kristi:
My mother suffered from depression. Today we would call it bipolar. This was very long ago and she did not have access to many of the new meds available today.
Your love and support are the best meds you can give Jean-Marc. He is so fortunate to have
such an affectionate and loving wife.
Thank you for sharing your husband’s struggle. I know this is a difficult time for you both. I pray that he will be feeling more optimistic in the days ahead.
Bisous, Janine
Beautiful photos. Beautiful place. Beautiful couple. 🙏s for you and yours.
Sending loving, healing thoughts to you both. Take care and know we are all here for you.
Bonjourde Caroline de Sud aux États-Unis ! Juste un petit conseil (en anglais pour les gens qui sont en train d’apprendre le français). My sweet mother-in-law suffered depression after her military service in WWII. When illegal drugs/pot & heroin became rampant in the 70s she quit taking her medication. Massive depression ensued. A friend suggested seeing a NYC endocrinologist. After a simple hair sample analysis she learned her body had no magnesium, lithium or zinc. After adding only these minerals to her diet, she never had depression the last roughly 30 yrs of her life.
My dear Kristi,
Thank you for brightening my morning with your usual high spirits. I am grateful for your courage and honesty. I send love and prayers to you and J-M, as he finds his way through this trying passage. Keep seeking the light! xoxo
Mmmm, been somewhere similar I think. It took a while to get the meds right, now my bag of tricks usually works. I’ll share. Take what (if any) you can and leave the rest. When my alligators start biting (emotional pain?) I “downshift”. Puzzles, funny videos, learn something new, read a Light novel, salt water swim (2 months of the year anyway), etc. You get the idea and it’s so person specific. What makes you happy? I also learned to forgive and accept myself as is; flaws, failures, trespasses, and all. And laugh. Now easier to extend same to others. Let go of anger. Build bridges. Random acts of kindness. It is what it is. Limit time with “the news”; you can’t fix it. Life’s too short to spend too much time unhappy. You’re stronger than you know. Prayers and good wishes that the storm season passes quickly.
Dear Kristi,
Thank you for sharing today’s heartfelt and personal story. I am sending the very best of wishes and positive, healing thoughts to Jean-Marc, and a big hug to you. I hope that every day will find Jean-Marc ever closer to feeling well again.
Lisa
Prayers for Marc and you. Wishing you peace and tranquillity. May the beauty of nature and God’s world bring you comfort.
We have just experienced a violent mass shooting of children here in the states. So sad and depressing for all. These politicians who refuse to address the NRA. My guess is that many politician pockets and campaigns are the reason.
It sounds simplistic, but I try to imagine what other people are going through — often indefinitely and with great difficulty. This gives me a sense of perspective.
If we could choose our ‘crosses’ ….it would be an impossible choice.
Although I can’t erase ALL the doubt, I do believe that God does not give us more than we can bear. And, for sure, I look for an eternity wherein our bodies are restored and there is no cause for tears.
Let us know when the Sun again is shining brightly.
Hugs,
Kristi, we are with you and J-M. Tenez bon. <3
A treasure of a post today, Chère Kristi — thanks for this candid and oh-so-tender and wise share. Been ‘there’ as spouse of a dear heart with cyclic depressive illness, and as just me, subject to bouts too. Your understanding and patient companionship as J-M weathers this debilitating stretch of time means much. Prayer, mindfulness, and gentle darings like this chosen ‘Escapade-Quoi-Qu’il-Arrive’ do uphold healing too, however invisibly.
Your account of this light-and-shadow experience lifts and softens all our hearts. We are with you, our host of soft embraces like dawn-glow around you both. — As for Le Ronfleur Stentoreux — did you catch on that he was an actual angel sent to spark a subtle shift, one soft step toward recovery? Well, at least ‘an angel unawares’, just as you say. ❤️
“All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of thing shall be well.” C’est vrai, ça!
Our dear Kristi and Jean Marc,
With sadness we read this update.
Your courage is truly an inspiration to all,and especially to those who are battling the same demons wrapping all in darkness.
Asking God to replace that darkness with light and to continue to fill you with
courage.
Unending prayers for you both.
Arms around you.
Love
Natalia xo
Thanks for sharing your photos – a beautiful town. My prayers are with you and Jean-Marc – it’s a long road but you have many people praying for you both – God listens.
My thoughts are with Jean-Marc. I too have and still suffer from depression. Sometimes it will go away and then voila, one little trigger sets it off again for no reason. Your photos today brought many happy memories from times spent in that most lovely part of France. Nice to relive through your eyes.