Cistus flowers high up in one of France's most blossoming villages. Don't miss all the colorful photos in this edition, click over to the blog for the full post.
TODAY'S WORD: "alentours"
: surroundings, vicinity
FRENCH SOUND FILE: Click the link to hear Jean-Marc pronounce the French words in today's post. Then scroll down to the vocabulary section to check your French comprehension.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
Jean-Marc has not been feeling well again, so our plans for a two-day escapade were up in the air last Friday. When finally we could not decide either way what to do, we just did. Typing this now my husband’s old saying comes back to me: Mieux vaut une mauvaise décision que pas de décision du tout. Better a bad decision than no decision at all.
A change of scenery turned out to be une bonne décision. One thing to love about France is how quickly the landscape changes in so little space. An hour east of La Ciotat, and we were entering Le Lavandou (the word reminds me of “soft lavender” for the way it is pronounced). No lavender fields here, but plenty of flowers and exotic trees (like les tamaris) and we were soon to enjoy softness on the cushioned transats at the beach.
We found the hairpin turnoff Max had warned us about and took the narrow, winding road down to Tamaris Plage in Pramousquier Bay. Parking in the lot belonging to the restaurant, we left our overnight bags in the car–a no-no in France. As my belle-soeur says, “never leave so much as a mouchoir in your vehicle or risk someone breaking the window to steal it!” But if we were throwing caution to the wind it’s because we had a lot on our minds–and stolen pajamas were the least of our soucis.
My husband, for one, was on my mind. As for what was on his, that was, and still is, half the battle–for depression is a war of the mind. Jean-Marc’s latest episode began 5 or 6 months ago and, in finally recording it here, I’ve gone against plans to “share only the lovely things”–indeed a sticky note on my desk reads: A writer’s duty is to lift readers up. I admire that thought by E.B. White. But frankness and transparency are lovely things too. They reveal our shared human condition.
Now, if what is on the mind is half the battle, then what’s the other half? Jean-Marc is feeling his way forward in the darkness, but so far trust, courage, faith, perseverance and meds are soulagements. Leaving no stone unturned along the path back to peace, those pebbles on the beach in Pramousquier Bay, where we walked hand-in-hand, became solid reminders to persévérer.
Returning from our shorefront stroll, Jean-Marc rested on the chaises-longues, feelings of oppression and defeat washing over him in waves. Positive reminders and comforting words helped, but when a man napping nearby startled us with his thundering ronflements we both enjoyed a spontaneous chuckle. As for our snoring Samaritan, he was oblivious to his cathartic part in lifting a stranger’s heart.
At the end of the day, nobody broke into our bagnole to steal our pajamas. At least one of us was relieved by this finding. As for the other, relief doesn’t come easily to him at this time. But many, regular reassurances help. Prayer works. And humor temporarily breaks the spell.
* * *
For anyone out there struggling with a setback in body, mind or spirit, experience shows things will get better. Accrochez-vous. Tenez bon. Hang on. And if you are alone, take courage: someone, somewhere cares about you. Chances are a lot of people do.
Thank you for keeping Jean-Marc in your thoughts and prayers. I leave you with some colorful pictures from our périple to Bormes-les-Mimosa and ses alentours.
Amicalement,
Kristi
We appreciate the support of friends and family. Someone dear to us recently wrote, "We know Jean-Marc is going through some inner turmoil now, but that is due to his sense of adventure and resourcefulness, the gifts of a true pioneer, and understandably nerve-wracking." Read more about this pioneering spirit in our 2019 vineyard memoir The Lost Gardens.
FRENCH VOCABULARY
une escapade = escape, getaway, trip
mieux vaut une mauvaise décision que pas de décision du tout = better a bad decision than no decision at all
La Ciotat = our town, the next port east of Cassis
Le Lavandou = a town and commune in the Var department in the Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur region of France
le tamaris = salt tree, tamarisk
le transat = sunbed
la belle-soeur = sister-in-law
le mouchoir = tissue, Kleenex
le soucis = worry, trouble, problem
le soulagement = help, relief, respite
la chaise longue = sunbed, sun lounger
le ronflement = snoring
la bagnole = car (in slang)
accrochez-vous = hang on
tenez bon = hang in there
le périple = trek, expedition, journey
les alentours = surroundings, surrounding area
Looking over the town of Bormes les Mimosas
Getting ready to close up shop for the day
So many boutiques…
A hat shop too!
A charming trompe l'oeil or "fools the eye" on the side of a building
Venelle des Amoureux "Lovers' Alley"
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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Jean-Marc, remember we are all rooting for you! And you have an enthusiasm and strength of spirit and creativity (especially with systeme D) that should help. I will pray for you and your whole family, and encourage you to remember the good times. More are on the way.
I hope you know how much you are appreciated for all you do for us. Your blog has been informative, educational, enlightening, entertaining, eye-opening. The adjectives could go on and on to create a very long list.
It’s been a beautiful gift. How many families open their homes, lives, loves and problems to the world these days? Not in such an honest way, I believe.
I’d like to thank you for your openness about mental health. How many of us have not been touched by someone who has difficulties in that area? Fortunately we live in a time when it can be discussed versus our predecessors. We’re lucky that way.
It’s heart warming to know you are surrounded by family, and getting professional help. It’s time to take care of yourself.
Best of luck and please know there are many people around the world who care and are concerned .
Sending a giant hug from Southern California!
~ Laura
Sending you much love and support!!!
I am also so moved by this post, Kristi. My son suffers from depression, and through knowledge, nutrition, and meditation has learned to manage this cruel affliction. I only wish his wife, whom I love dearly, would develop the patience and caring that you bring to your husband when the storm clouds roll in. It would comfort and help him. Jean Marc is a fortunate man.
With admiration and love,
Suzanne
So many of your readers who feel as though they are like family have reached out to you with their advice, concern and empathy for you and Jean-Marc. You have helped so many of us by sharing your stories. Now in return you have our prayers that these will soon help Jean-Marc feel better. You have our support in every way. With love and concern, Cynthia
Two thoughts: My husband is fond of saying, let’s do something, even if it’s wrong (rather than stand around worrying about a decision). And a couple of weeks ago, our priest at Sunday mass said something he had heard that really stuck with me. He said (and probably quoted): “In the end everything will be all right, and if it’s not all right, then it must not be the end.”
I’m thinking of you and Jean Marc. I hope he feels better soon. You both are inspiring. I’ve not met either of you, but back in 2019, I visited his shop, and I so appreciated the young man who helped me, the beautiful selections, and I had in that moment an appreciation for Jean Marc, even though I don’t know him.
Oh my, having struggled with that dark beast, depression, myself, I suspect there is nothing I can say to you or Jean-Marc that you don’t already know. “This too shall pass” is my go-to phrase but there are times when even that doesn’t convince me that it will, in fact, pass….But it does, of course…I will share that I find the term “depression” confounding….It suggests sadness, which that creepy, scary, dark hole is not. Sadness can be an element, but oh how I wish we could find a better turn of phrase, some way to better define that state-of-being that feels as though it is NO state-of-being at all.
I have been well for quite a long stretch. Honestly, and I am not joking, I think that aging steals much of the energy that is required for depression!…I find that as I get older, the depression, when it arrives, treats me more gently. Perhaps I have finally found a way to make friends with it…who knows? I hope the same proves to be true for Jean-Marc as well…
And you, my dear, need not feel that you should not share…You do your readers a GREAT service (you HELP me!) when you write about your devotion to your husband, who is who he is, who never asked for this nonsense (here I COULD add a profanity, but I will not!), We are born as we are born. We live the best we can. AND “This too shall pass”! MUCH LOVE TO YOU BOTH….Eileen XO
Oh, Jean-Marc. A terrible affliction. And Kristin, you are a treasure. Patient, a listener, a kind heart. But of course the person depressed is the only one who can find answers, alas. A family member has taken medication all of his ;life, since his teen years, for depression and does very well, but that is a choice some do not wish to make. So good of you to change the scennery, smell flowerrs, the sea, new air. Good thoughts from us for Jean-Marc.
Thank you for addressing this. I was hoping someone would!
Thank you to both Suzannes.
This could not have been an easy decision to share Jean Marc’s depression woes. It was brave for both of you to address this publicly. But the support from your readers puts a gigantic hug around you both. This world is full of wonderful people who give back to you while enjoying your posts of France. I add my hugs to you.
Thank you. By sharing this, you have helped so many people, immeasurably!
Love and Light have traveled around the world to open dark passages for so many. Solutions, different for every individual, are being looked at with compassion and new hope. Diets may change, lifestyles may change to include many healing options, and spirits are being lifted by the sheer energy and understanding of compassion. Kudos to you both! Lives are being renewed, including your own, for this wonderful act of selflessness.
❤️🙏❤️
These are wonderful outpourings of love and support. You have obviously reached out to so many with this post. Such courage to share something so deeply personal! I want to help, so I am sending love, prayers and a donation. Dare I say they are perhaps all equally important? I personally find it also helps to count my blessings every night. It takes only a few minutes and I easily get to my target of 10. Some are tiny, but they are all blessings. As is life itself. Covid and the war in Ukraine are reminders that many have lost the lives they loved and their loved ones are left heartbroken. If you possibly can, remind yourself that for you the sun still shines. You both have so much to give by helping others with their depression, by sharing yours. You are in this together. Much love and hugs.
I will add Jean-Marc to my prayer list and ask that he is lifted out of this sea of despair and depression. For those of us who have been down this road, we understand and know the waves that engulf us and distort our view of the world. May God hold you both in the palm of his hand and guide and protect you. Chin up.
Dear Kristi,
What more can I add to all of these caring and helpful comments? Only another thank you that even during this difficult time you are still sharing the beautiful pictures and writing your inspiring journal. Mostly I want to say thank you also for sharing about an illness that has physical causes but sadly has a stigma. I am praying Jean-Marc’s physician can find the right meds to help him so he can have some relief from this mental pain. He is blessed to have you by his side. Tenez bon Kristi and Jean-Marc. Je prie pour vous.
Sending prayers to you and Jean-Marc, Kristi. Regarding your concern to only share uplifting stories, I wanted to say that some — if not many — of us have gone through tough times and can most definitely relate. In fact, your writing about Jean-Marc is a great reminder that we are not alone, and I hope that the reminder extends to him as well. Keep seeking beauty all around you and taking things one deep breath at a time!
Thank you so much all for your prayers, thoughts, advices… to help me fight my new episode of depression.
My Angel Kristi is there, as always, to hold my hand.
With Love
Jean-Marc
You are both in my heart and mind, wishing you peace and continued strength in walking through this difficult path. Not easy for either of you – but so fortunate to have each other!!
Dear Kristi,
You have such a beautiful way of phrasing your thoughts. It is a joy to read everything you write.
You and Jean-Marc have both dealt with adversity and seem to have moved ahead into good places. The wine shop looks like such a winner…seems so very successful. George and I have much admiration for your strength and courage, and for JM’s effort, persistence and stamina to tackle just about any challenge. I hope that those qualities can help him cut through this dark dismal fog of depression. Thankfully you and the others in the family are there for him.
We all have our struggles. Our own have increased to the point where they are defining our lives. So we do understand dealing with adversity.
You both have made such an impact in our lives, our thoughts are always you and we pray for inner peace for you.
Keep up hope…the fog will lift and then…glorious sunrises across the glistening sea.
💛✨💙
Jean-Marc and Kristi,
Through Kristi’s writings allowing us to get to know you, we all feel as if we are almost family too. I know I speak for many when I say we hold you in our hearts and hope for sunny days ahead for you both. Depression can be so difficult to find the right tools to fight but know that we are all supporting you and sending our best as you find your footing and your joy again. I don’t have the answer but I do know that love and support are part of it <3
From Colorado,
Karen
Sending healing vibes your way … to both Jean-Marc and you, Kristi. Always remember, you are stronger together.
I just purchased THE LOST GARDENS. Looking forward to reading another of your stories.
God bless,
Gabrielle
Los Angeles
You are right to say that there is always hope of feeling different. Depression is a battlefield of the mind (and spirit)! Praying for Jean-Marc to renew his mind with God’s help and that heaviness is lifted from him – now and forever.
Blessings,
~Beth ♥
I am so sorry that Jean Marc is suffering. I hope he will know that we all care about him and wish him better days ahead. It is a frightening disease. My prayers go out to all of you. I have long admired Jean Marc’s ability to keep on going despite setbacks. His athletic pursuits, getting out on the water, his adventurous spirit- he is a beautiful person and husband and father. You are all special. Thank you for sharing and I hope some happy times are ahead for him. Hang in there, Jean Marc and Kristi.
You did not mention whether John-Marc is on antidepressant medication or even if he has tried it in the past. Taking some nostrums as was recommended may be fun or even helpful but not reliably so. Neuro-inflammation is a speculative concept and not accepted by all. Perhaps a better approach would be seeing a psychiatrist for an evaluation and possible medication management. Antidepressants are not magic and one size, so to speak, does not fit all. But there can be real and dramatic improvements. Also, a little talk therapy from a professional can be quite effective. Usually, an experienced vigneron can produce better wine than an amateur.
Dear Kristi & Jean-Marc: my heart is so with you; depression can certainly make its mark on a mind & body spirit; but,…. with trying to look “on the bright side of things”(Monty Python), life does seem to be lifted off your shoulders.
Our lovely cat, whom we only owned for 4 years, died on May 25th; her spirit is overwhelmingly in our home; but, the memories & fun times that we had with her are uppermost in our thoughts; she is where she needs to be. It is also the date that my husband’s son (from a first marriage) was killed in a tragic car accident. How does it happen that two extremely significant things in our lives happen on the same day??? It just does. So, with that in mind, we wish you both sunshine, laughter, espresso, wine, chocolate, lovely walks & I always look forward to reading your own words! Amicalmente, Ann
Hello Kristi, Jean-Marc
I have been following you for many years. I have
never gotten a chance to thank you for sharing your life with so many or us. I believe we all have wanted to be in yours shoes at some point or another in our life as in yours. You have been a joy and an inspiration to all of us! If I may so!!!
I have dreamed of life in France, so many years ago when I attended a fashion school in Paris. I loved every moment of it…
Here are my thanks,
Hope to be in France in the near future.
Merci,
Jean
Thank you for the honesty and for sharing what must be so difficult. Beautiful photos without the truth doesn’t build the community we are all missing and the strength we can all share to help each other on those inevitably dark days that we all pass through. Your courage is admirable 🙂
Kristi,
Please do not just share “only the lovely things.” It makes your life feel unrelatably privileged and unreal. It’s the mix of lovely and hard stuff that makes for human connection, which is what we all long for. Your best posts, in my opinion, are the ones where you are vulnerable about your and Jean-Marc’s very human struggles. We all relate better to one another when we know that we aren’t alone in struggling. There are millions of humans right now weighted down with depression, cancer, addiction, loss, insecurity, etc., and it makes those burdens lighter to be reminded that we aren’t alone in carrying them, that they belong to the human condition for everyone, no matter how privileged and easy their lives might appear on the surface.
Go deeper. It is in you. I sense it. But you seem to hold it back, believing that you should entertain and uplift. Lightness isn’t uplifting. It may be amusing, but it isn’t uplifting.
Tear up that sticky note on your desk! Write from “les tripes!”
And you aren’t, of course, in any way obligated to follow my wishes. But if it is a reminder that your struggles are meaningful to others that is needed to nudge you in a direction that perhaps you are tempted to go in but fear will meet rejection, may my words be that reminder.