L'Ile Verte. The green island, here in La Ciotat, for a peaceful image to begin today's post.
Today's Word: chercher ses mots*
: to be at a loss for words
*I settled on this "word of the day" following the struggle in writing a story in these sad, scary, and emotionally-charged times. Thank you for reading with open hearts.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
In the parking lot at Aldi I was loading our groceries, Mom's, then mine, into our car, when I saw two familiar faces. It was the funny duo behind us in the checkout line. Turning to the brothers (who were twins?), I smiled:
Je voulais vous remercier pour votre bonne humeur. Ça fait du bien–surtout en ce moment. I hope they understood my French, and my appreciation for their funny commentary back in line, when they were snapping each other's face masks and reminding one another to keep at a safe distance from the next customer. They were regular Laurel and Hardys in the age of coronavirus!
The short, gray-haired men, so full of antics back in the store, suddenly grew shy, in a French version of Aw, Shucks! "Well," one of the guys offered, you've got to have a sense of humor in times like these!"
"C'est sûr!" I agreed, adding, "Are you from La Ciotat?"
"Oui!"
"My mom and I are from Arizona," I shared.
The men grew thoughtful. "A lot of upheaval in the US right now…" one of the brothers reflected.
"Here in France, too…" I said, mentioning the riots breaking out in Paris and beyond.
"Non!" The brothers replied, in a possible misunderstanding (were they unaware of the émeutes?).
"Non!" They affirmed. "We are not racist!"
I think the brothers were referring to themselves–or possibly to our region? Either way, they echoed the feelings or beliefs or ideals of many.
Our conversation ended in awkward silence, one that lingered. Later that day the brothers' words returned to mind. "We are not racist." I understood what they meant. I believe they were sincere. I know I am too! My last thought came as a surprise: But is that enough? Is it enough not to be racist?
FRENCH VOCABULARY
Je voulais vous remercier = I wanted to thank you
bonne humeur = good humor
ça fait du bien = it does one good
surtout en ce moment = especially at this time
une émeute = uprising, riot
I leave you with a peaceful image taken here in La Ciotat. Thank you for reading.
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Thank you for this story – so simple and yet so powerful! Your last lines are so important and give us all food for thought.
There is an excellent book by Robin DeAngelo called White Fragility, written by a white woman addressed to white people on this very subject. Very worthwhile read.
This is a scary time we are in now. First covid and now the riots. Both are too close to home for me. I understand being upset but a riot is not a good way to change things. Do stay safe and well.
Of course there is racism in every country , however I always assumed that Canada has far less of it. I was both shocked and saddened to witness some racism to a good Korean friend.
I have trouble understanding how anyone can hate a person they don’t even know. 😢
Kristin,
Thanks for this story.
I live in Minneapolis where more than 300 buildings have been burned, looted, or vandalized (in the Twin Cities). My daughter lost her post office, three grocery stores, her pharmacy, hardware store, UPS store, and many other shops and restaurants. Her mail was burned in the post office arson fire.
I am 70 years old and there is a hurt in our city that I have never experienced before. It is gratifying to see the worldwide protests and support for racial justice and for my city. This is history.
Hi Kristin,
It’s all very sad and I keep praying. I often thought what more can I do? I keep thinking if we all could just live by the golden rule of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” the world would be a better place.
I find some of the things I’ve seen posted on social media ring a bit fake to me. People are all of a sudden reading books on racism, donating to NAACP, etc. or posting a black square on IG which I don’t see helping at all. If people weren’t doing these things before, why all of a sudden? I agree with people protesting the death of George Floyd which was horrific and shouldn’t have ever happened and those officers need to be in jail. I don’t agree with all the looting, vandalism, etc. The protesters when they get violent and damage cities are hurting people and businesses who live in their communities. A lot of the rioters are coming from other states, so it is organized groups causing the most damage and destruction.
Our dear Kristi,
Thank you for this most timely and touching post.
Having survived the Rodney King riots,I am once again
Reminded that racism is the thing that must be embraced by both sides,without bias.
And remembering Roosevelt:”you have nothing to fear but fear itself”(hard as that is)–another one I find comfort in by Curchill: “if you are going through hell,keep going”
We WILL survive.
Love
Natalia
First Covid-19, then the videoed murder of George Floyd, then pain and anger, then protests and demonstrations. Then infiltration, riots, militarized police. A lot of time and a lot happened between the corona virus arriving in the US – as early as December and certainly in January – and the death of Floyd, protests and demonstrations in May and militarized police in June. Yes, it is all scary – all of the inbetween stuff as well. 🙏
Very good. I cannot add to your story or your thoughts. You covered it all!
But, who has a solution?
Thank you for your thoughtful and compassionate posting. I think it’s the “awkward silent” you noted that we have to get past and move toward authentic communication.
I think you meant “humour” not “humeur.”
I think that just “not being a racist” is not enough anymore. We must act. Thanks for tackling this, Kristi!
Susan in Ontario
I share your concerns, Eileen. Like you, the Golden Rule is always first and foremost in my mind … no colour of any kind involved.
Thanks for sharing this simple and authentic interaction, Kristi. Let’s hope everyone keeps talking, sharing and moving forward in the most positive way for everyone. <3
Kristi,
I and probably many of your readers are part of the white privileged. We don’t always understand what it is to be black or brown or Indian or Asian in America (or in other places in the world). You hear the stories of what they have gone through, how they have to tell their children what to do if they are stopped by a cop. They do not have the same freedoms which we – the white privileged – have.
There have been peaceful demonstrations and then there are the extremists, the rabble rousers who start the destruction. They come form other cities or states to cause riots.
Then there are the “good” people who give water to protesters or take them into their homes to protect them from the military.
America is a melting pot of people and we need to live together and be treated the same, given the same education and opportunities. We need to respect each other.
Sorry for the long response but we are all angered by yet another death of a black person. Plus we are stressed buy the confinement from Covid19.
I pray for America, the world and people of every color, sexual orientation and age. We are in this together and together we need to all work to make the the world a better place.
From a friend who is a perfectionist et qui t’aime bien!
REGULAR LAUREL AND HARDYS – c’est ça le pluriel.
Le “‘” indique le possessive –
Kristis = plusieurs qui s’appellent Kristi
Kristi’s son – le fils de Kristi
Difficile l’anglais et vous allez la conquerir. Je voudrais tant parler le Français comme vous! C’était ma première langue étant toute petite mais l’anglais l’a vite remplacer……
Amitiés,
Claudette
What a lovely and poignant post!! Unfortunately, some people are more interested in correcting grammar…rather than absorbing the message of your post.
Thank you for sharing your everyday experiences and relating your stories!
Thank you Buffy for saying this truth. What happened here in America was inexcusable! But so are the riots. We can not fight injustice with injustice, and I am truly incensed by any American, black or white, who supports stealing and setting properties on fire, etc.. Racism will never be solved this way. Blessings to you.
Eileen, I so agree with you. Humanity has many ills, with racism certainly one of them. But these riots are lead by selfish, hostile people. And you are right—it is very well organized. When some of our public leaders condone this madness it becomes doubly pathetic. As a Christian I know hate, as evidenced in these riots, will never bring about peace. These 3 policemen were absolutely wrong and will go to prison. But these rioters are doing nothing to stop racism. We need God more than ever.
I debated with myself whether I wanted to reply to Robert’s “holier than thou” comment. How do you know that those who correct grammar did not absorb the message? The message is important and so is the grammar!
You understand ‘being upset’. This is not being upset, this is out and out murder which has been happening since the first slave.
But don’t worry it isn’t just the good ole USA, it’s all first world countries with blood on their hands
I will never understand people who are more aggrieved by destruction of property than wanton destruction of a human life. Does it really matter if protesters are “organized” or “outsiders”? I live in a sleepy town 30 miles from Boston. When I want to participate in an organized demonstration (a Constitutionally guaranteed right), I go into Boston. Does that make me an “outsider”?? Seems to me we are always being manipulated into fearing THE OTHER…the immigrant, the outsider, the person with a skin color unlike our own. I am SO proud of my fellow citizens who have taken to the streets (overwhelmingly peacefully), to protest this latest outrage.
… l’anglais l’a vite remplacé
(if we’re going to be perfectionists, after all, hein?)
HUMEUR is French for humour (BrE) / humor (AmE)
Yes it is! Thank you Fred.
Cette fois , je me suis souvenu de ce que je fais avec les mots anglais dont je veux me souvenir – j’ai recherché l’étymologie:
ÉMEUTE : Etymologie de ÉMEUTE – Cnrtlwww.cnrtl.fr › etymologie › émeute
Translate this page
ÉMEUTE, subst. fém. Étymol. et Hist. 1160-74 esmote « mouvement, explosion, éclatement (d’une guerre) » (Wace, Rou, éd. A. J. Holden, III, 9909); 1326 spéc.
Le mot dérive d’esmote « mouvement, explosion, éclatement (d’une guerre) »
Ce faisant , j’ai été surpris d’apprendre que le passé simple du souvenir se forme avec ” être ” , au lieu de ” avoir ” . Je pensais que seuls les mots de mouvement utiliseraient ” être ” .
I agree with you Eileen. There was a peaceful protest in our town the other day. After it ended, another group came in to loot, break windows and vandalize. I think people are very stressed about being locked down for so long and an uncertain future. There is racism in Europe. If you don’t look or dress a certain way, you’ll be looked down upon.
Kristin , Je suis tellement étonné du courage (ou de l’insouciance) des jeunes de Hong Kong ! Ils sont plus courageux que moi . J’ai aussi peur pour eux. Mais je me souviens des ” Justes parmi les nations ” .
I think we also need to speak out against racism of any kind vs being silent. That can be uncomfortable, and I have regretfully been guilty of being silent at times in the past, but other times I have spoken up against a remark someone’s said that they may have not even realized was racist.
May I suggest listening to Brené Brown’s interview with author Ibram Kendi on Brené’s Unlocking Us podcast? It can be found on her website, no special app needed, at brenebrown.com.
PS Wow, yes, I’d say to Robert, and agree with Lauren, (but I know no one sees the replies unless they tune in again to reread the comments), that I thought Kristi encourages (!) grammar corrections.
Moi , autre fois : C’est difficile de comprendre qu’après que le policier eut asphyxié George Floyd , il n’a pas tenté de le réanimer , aucun des policiers n’a tenté de le réanimer . C’est ” l’échec de s’arrêter et de rendre l’aide ” .
Thank you for today’s story. It kept bringing to mind the signs I see in some of the news videos: “White Silence = Black Deaths” and I wonder if I have done enough over the years. Fortunately, I have rarely been silent about racism but I often wonder, again, have I spoken out or done enough? My mother told (taught) me, at a very young age, by age three or four, I believe, Jim Crow stuff was just wrong and a load of you know what.
Franck Chappell, all the reflexive verbs are conjugated with etre.
This evening, people from my church (who have been meeting remotely for weeks) gathered on the church grounds, six feet or more apart, wearing masks, and holding candles. No one spoke. It was a vigil, intended primarily to honor George Floyd and victims now and throughout our history. I have been appalled by everything, including using military force against peaceful protesters and even journalists, arrested without cause. I used the half-hour to think of those we have lost, to pray for those who are left, to wonder what else I can do. But speaking up is certainly something we can all do – both to label racism everywhere we see it, and to do what we can to actually stop some of what we see. I like to think I would have tried to pull the police officer off Mr. Floyd’s neck. We won’t know until the time comes what we might do, or would be able to do, in a situation that might arise, but there must be something we can do. We can write to officials, and this fall, vote. In our area, such positions as sheriff are voted on, so if we have a bigoted person in office, we might be able to vote him/her out. And I truly hope we can elect a different president, one who is more sensitive to racial injustice.
I thank you, Kristi, and also Marianne, for bringing light on all this tragedy in the midst of attempting to get back to some kind of “normal.” Violent destruction and looting serve no purpose except to drive everyone and everything backwards into despair. The guilty should be punished, but not innocent small business owners who are struggling for survival. Indeed, we need to “come together” to defeat racism, opportunistic looting, anger and hatred. We all have value and must strive to love one another and live in peaceful, respectful brotherhood. – Janet
Thank you, chère Claudette. I often make the *apostrophe before s* mistake, and do not catch it when reviewing my post. This helps. Thank you.
Thank you, Robert, for your kind words about my story. They are appreciated and so are you. Regarding the corrections I receive, these follow a request I mention at the blog: *All edits welcome and so helpful.*
Thanks again to all who submit edits, and very sorry for any misunderstanding.
General Information about Race:
The mid-twentieth century racial classification by American anthropologist Carleton S. Coon, divided humanity into five races:
Caucasoid (White) race
Negroid (Black) race.
Capoid (Bushmen/Hottentots) race.
Mongoloid (Oriental/Amerindian) race.
Australoid (Australian Aborigine and Papuan) race.
As far as I am concerned, there is only ONE race and that is the Human Race. The teachings of Jesus instructs mankind to show to love one another. Matthew 5 v 44 “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”.
A bitter pill to swallow when you have been on the receiving end of someone else’s unkindness, hatred or persecution – and often very hard to “turn the other cheek”.
I like what Marianne said in a previous post……”I would like to think that I would have tried to pull the police officer off Mr Floyd’s neck”. That made me think very hard. Yes, that’s what I like to think I would have done……That something would have rose up within me to SAVE George Floyd (despite the danger in that situation). To lay down my life for George.
But that didn’t happen – and every individual that stood around George will now have to consider – “Why didn’t I do something to help George”? (other police officers included). Too scared? Worried about the consequences? Let’s not blame any bystanders, but consider that Police officers were there to UPHOLD the law – not break it. So they are now accountable by that same law, for their actions, past…… present……. and future (what will their actions now be when they face the Court Judge and eventually face their Maker?
But the moment to help George came and passed by in 8 minutes. Yes, it’s right to speak out for the injustice and to be angry and upset. YES! it’s right to try in future to help others, but not by becoming law breakers ourselves and not by fueling anger, hatred and fear in others.
There’s also a pandemic (as we all know!) There won’t be many people that won’t have been affected in some way by the current pandemic. But there are lots of lawbreakers rebelling together by breaking the social distancing guidelines. Let’s not even go there on that one! Something rose up in those people wanting to protest about George’s death. I understand that – but they’ve all got to now consider their actions in doing that at this exact moment in time. Shall we all join in and break the social distancing rules and create a second wave, or third wave of the pandemic? There will be a time when George’s case WILL be heard. and will the earthly judge and the Jury uphold the law when he or she or they are faced with the right thing to do? The eyes of the world will be watching……..
Nope. It’s not enough to be not racist. It’s important to be anti-racist. We all have racist tendencies, even if they are not intentional. The system was built that way.
And yes, France can be racist as well. Maybe not in the same way. I spent a semester abroad in Toulon in 1997. I don’t know what it’s like now, but the Front National was quite prevalent.
There is so much heartache here in MN right now and hard for me to even see family and friends from afar posting pictures and making comments and judgments from afar without really knowing or understanding what’s going on.
I really hope that such a horrific incident will be a catalyst for real change. But not being racist isn’t enough.
I loved that interview with Dr. Kendi! I shared and recommended it to so many people.
I, too have heard french friends say “we are not racist”. I heard this at my very first visit to france 15 years ago, and on at least 4 of mu subsequent visits. After hearing that for the first time, i started observing where in french life the minorities fit in. At that time in Paris, the people picking up the trash cans and the garbage were black. The men doing construction heavy labor were people of color. There were modern, ugly high rise apartment buildings.in poor repair covered with grafitti, with burned out cars in their parking lots. “Those are where the africans live” i was told, almost in a whisper. The bus drivers seemed to be mainly people of color. Functionaires? Mostly french. Sending in a resume for a job? A handwriting sample was required, as well as a picture. These two items could eliminate poc and foreign nationals, due to France’s distinctive writing style. When i asked about tgese practices, jobs, ghettoizing, again i was told “we are not racist”. Last year, shopping in paris, we encounteref seversl women in burkas. Enraged, my friend yelled at them. “You canno wear that here”, and she told management to call the police. Apparently there is a law that faces must be shown. But, the agression from my normally timid friend shocked me.
In my heart, i know that they think they are not racist. It is a national french mantra, a face they express to the world. But, i wonder what they think racism is? How do they define it? Because that will tell us what they think we are like, when, it seems. They are very much like us in their attitudes. They just don’t know it.
Well said.
You need to distinguish between the protestors, 90% of whom are completely peaceful, and the agitators and looters, who are out to inflame the situation and/or profit from it.
I am sorry to say that you are wrong about their being no such thing as white privilege. There most assuredly is. (Full disclosure: I am white, and live in Florida, US. Have lived in the American South my entire life.)
Why do I say that white privilege exists? Because (1)I never had to lay down rules for my white teenage son to keep him safe when he was out of the house. No rules needed for him about how to act, what to wear, how to respond if stopped by the police. Imagine for a moment what an extra burden that places upon parents and children. (2)I have never been denied a bank loan because of my zip code. Redlining–which is a real thing–is something black people have been dealing with for decades. (3)I have never had my vote suppressed because of the color of my skin. Also a real thing that has happened in America since the days of Jim Crow, and is happening right now in my state as the League of Women Voters and other organizations battle in the courts the state governor and legislature trying to impose a “pay to vote” requirement on Amendment 4 that passed in 2018 restoring non-violent felons’ right to vote. The “pay to vote” (meaning fines and fees that the state government cannot even determine the amounts owed) requirement predominantly impacts black people. Many returning citizens do not even try to register to vote because they are afraid of getting arrested for committing voter fraud–thus a chilling affect.(5)And don’t even get me started about the incarceration rates of blacks compared to white people. I will stop there, but you really need to think about what you said. If you can honestly say that any of these things ever happened to you *because you are WHITE*, then you will understand what white privilege is. Respectfully, Katy Pace Byrd
Biden is a good start.
Sweetness?! You’ve lost me.
Well, I find it very concerning that ‘white privilege’ is being used loosely, this incites hatred. And should be a word flagged…just like other hate speech! There is no need to take this kind of action. It was not right that this man was murdered…but does anyone know who he was? why was he arrested? what is this action so needed destruction of homes, business, looting stealing..what does this accomplish.
Update: the comment above Katy’s was deleted. I believe it was a troll, given a string a strange comments left by the same ail address. Sorry for any confusion. Thank you Katy and Catherine for your comments.
The question you pose is all important. No, it is not enough to not be a racist. We have to talk about racism and fight against it. We also have to look within ourselves to see if we harbor, unwittingly, any racist attitudes.
I believe you mean well, Jerry Wood. And that you’re a caring person. Let’s not quantify racism. There is or there isn’t. It’s not as if we’re baking a cake and measuring sugar by the cupful. And, let’s not conflate hate with racism. You’ve admitted that you can’t understand. Perhaps that could motivate you to read White Fragility or watch the movie 13th. By educating, we gain perspective of the road the other person walks and the reasons behind the ‘hate’. I hope you can translate your troubled reaction to working to remove racism, to becoming an antiracist no matter how much racism you believe exists.
No, unfortunately, it’s not enough, Kristin. It’s not enough to say ‘I’m not a racist’. I’m not dishonest, but I never correct another in a lie. I’m not a thief, but I witness theft and say nothing. No, white people must actively work to remove the barriers that prevent equal access and justice for all. They must correct others who behave or speak against others because of the color of their skin and recognize how their own ignorance (lack of knowledge) is perpetuating racist stereotypes and inequality for others. Privilege is often taken for granted by those who have it. Read and study to move outside of oneself , to become uncomfortable enough to acknowledge that , yes, I may not be racist, but I am not working against racism. Black people must listen and accept the honest actions to change. We must understand that those with privilege have a tough battle ahead of them to open their minds and hearts. It’s not just up to changing the police because police reflect what the system has allowed and has taught. Systems must change. Expectations must change. We must all speak out in the name of justice and equality for all. Silence is violence.
Thank you as always for candor and honesty, for humility and for laying bear the hard topics and emotions. I have watched your children grow into fine adults and watched you evolve and grow, also. I am grateful for that view.
Roz Mustafa