Jean-Marc and I are finally telling the story of why we packed up and left our vineyard and our dream estate. Read our co-authored memoir, The Lost Gardens.
In August of 2017, my family and I said adieu to our heavenly domain by the Mediterranean sea. Here, beside the famous Bandol appellation, my husband, Jean-Marc, started his vineyard from scratch, and here is where I fell in love with a wild permaculture garden. In the midst of clearing and planting, we settled into the 19-century mas at the edge of an ancient olive grove.
As romantic as it sounds, this is not a memoir about renovating a farmhouse in Provence, and our story is nothing like the Hollywood hit, A Good Year. It is an honest and raw account of what was for us–our marriage our mental health and our faith–One Hell of A Decade.
Between hailstorms and compost thieves, and in the midst of my sobriety and my husband's mad pursuit of wine, we survived the first vineyard (2007-2012) only to have our spirits pelted and our dreams crushed at the second domain (2012-2017). For ten years our lives were dictated by wine, the weather, and unbridled passion. Now, after a sudden move and a loss that nearly broke us, we are picking up the pieces, chapter by chapter, as we share about our struggles and the love misplaced, somewhere among the vines.
=> The online edition (in blog format, with photos) is $29. Upon purchase, a new tab will open with the memoir's website, login, and a password to access the story. Email me if you cannot find this information: kristin.espinasse@gmail.com
ZELLE PAYMENT
You may also pay via Zelle, the preferred way to pay as there are no fees involved. Click on the "Pay and Transfer" tab at the Bank of America (or other US banking) website. Look for "Pay a Person". Click on "Send money with Zelle." In the "to" box, enter this email address: kristin.espinasse@gmail.com Enter the amount: $29. In the Message section, mention "The Lost Gardens" and include your email address.
Excerpt from The Lost Gardens:
A creak at the door woke me from my trance. There was my husband of 22 years. The Frenchman who, letter by steamy love letter, wooed me back to his country. The father of my children. The man whose every inspiration I had followed, no matter where it led us. (Except for the time he wanted to move to Healdsburg, California, in search of American grapes. No! I put my foot down then. France was my home now, even if we were about to uproot once again.)
Watching Jean-Marc approach, I set aside the towel I had been folding: the cloth was stiff and bristly from drying on the clothesline (our dryer broke down at our previous vineyard–at which point it seemed like a good time to practice the French art of hanging the laundry: oh, the romantic illusions we create in order to withstand unconventional living).
My husband studied me for a few moments, his hazel eyes soft and tender before he said those unforgettable words: "I will understand if you want to leave me."
***
TABLE OF CONTENTS
The listing below shows the first 18 chapters. (Four more are not listed here.) All twenty-two chapters include a photo at the beginning and end of the section, making this online edition a good opportunity to share so many memorable pictures. There are also two photo albums in the book's sidebar.
| Kristi's narrative | Jean-Marc's narrative |
| Chapter 1: In Limbo | Chapter 1.5: Turning the Page |
| Chapter 2: A New Domaine and Doubts | Chapter 2.5: A Dream Reignited |
| Chapter 3: Relationships: The Jar Analogy | Chapter 3.5: A Mythical Summit |
| Chapter 4: Marriage Vows | Chapter 4.5: The Stars Were Aligned |
| Chapter 5: A Sober Decision | Chapter 5.5: What if we move to the States? |
| Chapter 6: Time to Surrender | Chapter 6.5: The Roller Coaster Syndrome |
| Chapter 7: The Courage To Stay The Course | Chapter 7.5: Asking My Vines for a Favor |
| Chapter 8: A Close Call | Chapter 8.5: Finding Level Ground |
| Chapter 9: Writing Through it All | Chapter 9.5: The Story behind the Lunatic Label |
| Chapter 10: Adieu Doreen | Chapter 10.5: Mas des Brun-Too Good to be True? |
| Chapter 11: Moving? Again? | Chapter 11.5: Who Needs Meds in Paradise? |
| Chapter 12: The Big Move and our Pagaille | Chapter 12.5: Paradise has too many Trees |
| Chapter 13: A Mas and a Marriage | Chapter 13.5: Hurluberlu? |
| Blog excerpt: Mom Visits | Blog excerpt: So Much for Anonymity |
| Chapter 14: Staying Sober at two Wineries | Chapter 14.5: In Memory: A Touching Dedication |
| Chapter 15: Laisse-Moi Faire! | Chapter 15.5: Moving Mountains |
| Chapter 16: The Garden of Healing | Chapter 16.5: First Whispering of a Wineshop |
| Chapter 17: Double Trouble | Chapter 17.5: In the Eye of a Cyclone |
| Chapter 18: Pot in the Potager? | Chapter 18.5 (coming up next!) |
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Hi Rosalie, Glad you wrote. I will send you the info in the next email.
Chère Kristi,
Just sent you a monetary gift…LONG overdue. I have enjoyed your blog for several years and have shared your site with my francophile friends here in the North Carolina Piedmont. My husband and I visit Villefranche-sur-Mer every year
where Shelley Dobyns has lovely apartements with views of la Méditerranée. Perhaps we will venture west along la mer un jour vers your area. merci mille fois pour partager une partie de votre vie avec nous tous.
Amitiés, LeeLee
Mille mercis LeeLee! On my way to write you a personal note. Please look for it in your inbox.
I purchased your memoir and cannot seem to find where I go to read it.
Is there a special website where I go to sign in? Would you please help me?
Thanks!
Hi Meg,
Thank you for purchasing our memoir. I will email you the website link, along with the passwords needed to access it. There is also a listserver you may sign up to, to receive the latest chapter directly via email. Be sure to sign up for it ( I will send that link as well).
Hi Kristin I bought the book today via PayPal in US$ but can’t access the link. Can you help. janethaagensen@yahoo.co.uk
Kind regards
Janet
Hi, Janet. Thank you very much for purchasing our book. I will send you the link right away.
Same frustration for me as for many others. I paid for the book, but can’t access it now. Where do I find it? Gail
Gail, information is on its way. Please check your inbox. If you do not see it, let me know. Thank you.
Just paid by PayPal but did not receive the password or Link. Any help would be appreciated!
Hi Anne, I sent you a note in your email. I hope it didnt end up in a spam folder. Please check, and let me know that you have rec this message.
Thanks,
Kristi
Hi, I purchased your on-line version of the book and started reading it, but now I can’t find my user name or password to log-in. Can you send me that again? Thanks. ANother email I use is lambsetots@fuse.net
Hi Barbara, Will send it right away.
Hmmmm. I purchased the book over a year ago. Then I moved and regrettably did not note my username and my password. How to restart la lecture?
Merci d’avance.
Martha
Great story, today, as always. 10/7/20. Really enjoy your posts and story. Emerald Isle, nc, is beautiful today, bright and sunny, about 80 degrees. Can see the sea from here, but they’re tearing down an old, lovely cottage to build a McBox, with 12 bedrms. So gross. Happy Halloween! Will you see any little Trick or Treaters there?
I am very much looking forward to reading your book, but waiting for the hard copy–which I will definitely purchase when available.
Thank you Lynne. Your note motivates is to publish the book in hard copy. I just do not know when that will happen.