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Today's Word: l'oubli
: forgetfulness, oversight, memory lapse
*New: Don't miss the verb conjugation for oublier, just after today's vocabulary-packed story below…
ListenL'oubli n'est pas un ennemi de la mémoire. C'est un phénomène non seulement banal mais aussi indispensable, qui lui permet de faire le tri dans la masse d'informations qui nous parviennent en continu et qui ne peuvent pas être toutes engrangées. Forgetfulness is not an enemy of memory. This phenomenon is not only banal but also indispensable, allowing it to sort through the mass of information that reaches us continuously and that cannot all be collected.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
I am beginning to concerned about this latest series of petits oublis… so I've decided to come here to talk about it with you. I'm guessing a few of my readers are aged 50 and above, and will have a thing or two to say about the topic of forgetfulness, or les moments d'étourderie.
When last I misplaced my key and asked Mom if she had seen it.she replied, Darling, you left it in the front door. (Was that a concerned look on her face? The walking-on-eggshells tone in Mom's voice tells me something too: Is it my mood again?) I remember responding in a nonchalant way, Oh, thanks Mom–yes, I was in the middle of bringing in the groceries, I explained.
And yet I feel anything but insouciant about memory lapses, forgetfulness, oversights, flakiness, and forgotten appointments that are becoming some sort of norm lately…
As someone who does not drink, does not take medication, regularly challenges her brain by speaking a foreign language, eats a (mostly…) plant-based whole foods diet, walks daily, prays and gets plenty of sleep how could this be happening to me?
A few possibilities come to mind: as a ronfleur, or snorer, chances are sleep apnea may be affecting the quality of sleep… And then there is the anxiety that I arrange my life around–it is why I no longer drink alcohol and why good nutrition, sleep, exercise and, recently, therapy is helpful to me. And yet…
When I left the kitchen robinet running for 10 minutes the other day (the irony! I had been filling a bowl in which to wash mes patates…and so recycle the water afterwards!), and then left the oven on after serving the oven-baked fries… I was alarmed at the latest oversights! But panick doesn't help things, now does it? Peace, after all, plays a big part in a well-functioning brain!
So, dearest reader, please chime in in today's comments box with your own thoughts on forgetfulness a.k.a. les petits oublis. Meantime, may those of us concerned with memory lapse take heart in the following thought (whether you remember it or not!):
L’oubli favorise l’innovation, libère la pensée et stimule la curiosité. Forgetting promotes innovation, frees thought and stimulates curiosity. –Simon-Daniel Kipman
* * *
There are many tools to help with our memory–including the exercise of conjugating French verbs! Listen to Jean-Marc conjugate the verb oublier
j'oublie
tu oublies
il oublie
nous oublions
vous oubliez
ils oublient
A tried-and-true memory aid is a good old-fashioned calendar… and this one is a beauty: The popular, beloved French Country Diary makes jotting down appointments and reminders a pleasing , mindful activity. Order one here.
FRENCH VOCABULARY
l'oubli = oversight, forgetting
les petits oublis = forgetfulness
une étourderie = forgetfulness, absent-mindedness, inattention
le ronfleur, la ronfleuse = snorer
la patate = potato, spud
le robinet = tap, faucet
insouciant,e = carefree, unconcerned, untroubled
Photos in today's post are from my friend Beth. Check out her popular Lavender & Vine Tour in Provence. A vacation (and all those heady aromas from the French countryside) will do wonders for one's memory 🙂
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Medical scientists are studying the possibility that, as we age, our brains cells become Teflon coated and the information just slides off. A separate study is exploring the possibility of a brain “GPS” that could locate lost information and retrieve it to the conscious mind. Stay tuned!
Oh so funny, Catherine!
Kristi,
As you have read, we all have memory problems, starting at maybe 50 or older. I was at a meeting today where all of the women 65 and older have memory problems. It can be multitasking, hormones or whatever. Exercise is suppose to help stimulate the brain and as others suggested we should cut down on our multitasking, but as women we just always do that and probably cannot stop. Anxiety and stress add to forgetfulness.
The more we worry about it the worse it is.
Keep positive and just keep on going.
Kathleen
Hi Kristi,
Stress can affect memory. I’ve read that and experienced it, too. It sounds like you may be a bit stressed, and that could account for the temporary memory lapses.
Felicitations pour seize ans de sobriété!
Terrific thread! Kristi, I second all of it, actually — at a quarter century past 50, I’ve adapted well to using mindfulness, sticky notes, both a digital and a wall calendar, AND — not least — a sense of humour about the memory glitches that still arise. C’est la vie.
However, Ray’s advice about getting a sleep study done is good — my 42-yhr-old daughter, who leads a tremendously active life, just had one done in December, and yes, she will be getting a CPAP. Not only a snorer, but someone who ‘feels tired’a lot and who at times has had a seriously short fuse, she is relieved to learn that this device may help her much. She is on the brink of menopause as well … oh, the everchanging parameters of being a ripening human female.
Do hang in there, continuing with all the self-care steps you rely on. Again, I heartily recommend ALSO learning to chuckle (pause, smile, and let go!) at the boo-boos that are new to your repertoire. Affectionately reassuring self-talk helps me stay as relaxed and mindful as possible. You will find the ways! Warm hug to you, ever-evolving as you are.
I completely agree! As women, our duties are never ending, therefore, we multi-task. But, all this does is lead to mental and physical, and emotional exhaustion. I completely and whole heartedly recommend practicing mindfulness <3 My memory is so very much better now. Best wishes, Cristan Lamb
https://www.medicaldaily.com/brain-boosters-foods-can-help-improve-your-intelligence-alertness-focus-and-memory-289182
Women have a logical explanation other than old age or dementia….menopause.
Men have to accept other alternatives as the cause. This site has interesting
suggestions to improve memory with diet.
Great thread!
Occasionnally, another hormonal condition sneaks in, which is very good at masquerading as menopause. A hypothyroid condition, most often Hashimoto’s Disease, can have similar symptoms and not show up in tests for many years. My perimenopause, age 40 turned out to be Hashimoto diagnosed age 52 when it caused iodine poisonning…
You will not be able to resist this recommendation. I found this remedy in a tiny article in a recent issue of AARP which suggested that high quality cocoa powder helps sharpen memory and focus of attention. I allow for the possibility that this is all poppycock but it really seems to have worked for me. Honestly!
Every morning I put about a tablespoon + of Droste cocoa powder (from Holland) in a cereal bowl. I then add cereal and fruit and milk. After stirring, I eat the breakfast cereal and then start my day feeling quite alert! Unless you are allergic to cocoa powder, I cannot imagine that it would hurt to just try it for a week or so and see how you feel mentally.
Here is my story. I have what I call “an over-active brain” meaning I am most often thinking about many things at once. I am the one who would get in trouble in school for fighting, talking to friends, forgetting my homework. I read that you do not take medications. I finally gave in to take Adural. However, your therapist is your best advisor. Also, being a former drinker is not at all easy. You deserve much credit for your journey. Anxiety is also a culprit. Again, your therapist will be most helpful. . You are a beautifully gifted woman who is loved. How wonderful. P.S. Hereditary plays an important part in our lives
Oops, I meant fidgeting, not fighting.
I am now age 71 and have had this issue for years – primarily because I am always doing too many things at once and don’t stay focused. It is my conclusion that the reason we “retire” is because we just don’t want to deal with the stress any longer. We can do the job, but the stress just really hurts us, including our memories. Don’t worry, just try to slow down a little bit and not push so hard so that you can stay focused on one thing at a time. I have failed in that miserably, but it’s worth a try! Good luck. I really enjoy your writings. You will be just fine.
May I suggest you try supplementing with Vitamin B-12? I’ve been a vegetarian for 40+ yrs, now leaning towards vegan. Those of us who eat like this are often deficient in B-12. 6-8 yrs ago, I started searching for words (in English and in French), which worried me. Somehow, I learned about B-12. I started it daily and it diminished the word-search by 50% or more. I recommended it to a friend; it helped her so much she said, ”your suggestion gave me back my brain. Thank you!”
I am over 70 and find that I need to focus on one task at a time. Also, it helps to be kind to oneself if one is sometimes forgetful. My almost 40 daughter asks me the same question two times and them seems anxious about my mental faculties if I do the same!
Slow down and do one day at a time.
My dentist solved my sleep-deprivation, forgetfulness, snoring & teeth grinding in one fell swoop: a mouth guard! My dentist explained that mouth guard slightly alters the position of your tongue & jaw in addition to protecting your teeth. I stopped snoring, sleep soundly & wake more refreshed & alert. I highly recommend it.
BTW when I was 20, over 50 years ago, I came home to my apartment & heard the phone ringing. I ran inside to the phone stand but had to follow the cord into the kitchen. I had put the phone on a shelf in the fridge…
Yes! Chocolate IS A GREAT IDEA!
ALZ is in my family…a scary thing. I am sure you are just fine. Great advice and responses from your fans!
Hang in there and get good sleep every night!
Kristin,
CONGRATULATIONS on your amazing 16 years of sobriety! That is such an accomplishment. I had a dear friend with a drinking problem years ago, and I persuaded her to get into treatment. She went to a hospital for detox, went regularly to AA meetings, and never relapsed. I went with her a few times to the AA meetings when she received a “chip” acknowledging how long she had been sober. I understand that the intensity of the struggle maybe decreases a bit over time, but never quite goes away. I know how much effort you have made to get where you are today. Keep up the good work!
Regarding keys, I put up a decorative hook on the wall, right inside the door, and my ironclad rule is, the keys go onto the hook immediately when I step into the house. My purse lives in my bedroom.
Each day I note what has to be done, which helps keep me on track.
I (age 70) have noticed occasional forgetting of words or names, although I think that happens to all of us, at any age, once in a while. It helps to read or do other things which both expose us to new knowledge, and remind us of what we already know (such as watching the American TV show “Jeopardy!”, where I find I can recall things I haven’t thought about in years).
All the advice given to you is great, and you can try everything suggested.
We live in a sleep-deprived society. If you can get enough sleep, I think that will help on many levels, from attentiveness to mood. Everything seems easier when I am well rested.
Even small challenges are supposed to help our brains keep in shape. For example, writing with the opposite hand, or taking a new route to a place to which we’ve always gone the same way. We can try something we doubt we are good at (for example, I’m not much of an artist); doing so may not only help us keep our minds sharp, it may introduce us to a new interest.
I wish you the best at this time of your life. Judging from FWAD, your brain is still working well. I admire your ability to create a blog, full of links and wonderful photos. Merci!
Kristi, I’m just blown away by how many people have responded to this blog! It shows how much your readers care about you, so take heart in that. We all feel so connected to you, and that’s really special. As for forgetfulness, I’m afraid most of us experience that, either from menopause, personal circumstances and the normal aging process. So, just enjoy your lovely life and don’t stress about it. Bon courage!
Amities😍
We live in a world where everyone expects multitasking is what we should do. We need to focus, slow down, be mindful of our surroundings and our actions. Be engaged in the moment.
Yes, make lists. It is always rewarding to see items crossed off. Appreciate the moments of quiet and the task accomplished. Listen to surrounding sounds.
You are doing great, sharing your life with your family and devoted readers, bringing us pleasure in reading of your experiences.
I think forgetfulness is part of all stages of life. Maybe we didn’t notice it so much at other times. And yes, it increases with age. Sometimes it makes us laugh. It always makes us human.
Thank you , Kristi for your stories.
It you aren’t experiencing issues that are impacting your daily routine don’t worry about mild cognitive impairment here and there. We all have off days.
I “forgot” what I was going to say! Just kidding….Happy Tuesday!
Hello dear Kristi! It seems many of us can relate! I most certainly can. I often find my keys still in the front door! I will say for me it’s menopause and stress related. I find that a good quality fish oil supplement helps – or, rather is supposed to! Ha! I may need to double my dose. Be gentle with yourself, this too will pass.
Here is my progression…about words Icannot quite recall. . At fifty I would say, “I think the word begins with the letter P”. At 60 I was saying “I think the word has two syllables” and at 70 I say, “ There is more than one syllable and I think there is a P in the middle somewhere.
If you snore, you need to undergo a sleep study to verify whether or not you suffer from sleep apnea. Time was sleep apnea was thought to only afflict the obese (see Dicken’s Pickwick Papers) but now we know if is a problem for slim folks as well. Sleep apnea causes fatigue—which leads to forgetfulness— but, more seriously, heart problems. In my husband’s case, he developed atrial fibrulation which he controls with very strong medicatiions. There is also a surgical procedure to control it called an ablation. He is putting off this operation as it is somewhat risk and doesn’t last.
Hi Kristi,
A few years ago a study was done at the University of Notre Dame entitled, “Walking through Doorways Causes Forgetting . . .” Here is an article about it in Scientific American: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-walking-through-doorway-makes-you-forget/
I hope it will help to relieve your stress; it did mine! You left your keys in the door because of the “doorway effect,” which apparently happens to most of us – not just those over a certain age!
That being said, I agree with what several have said, “This was a great thread!” I picked up a lot of good tips! Thank you, as always, Kristi, for your beautiful columns and photos, which comfort, entertain and enlighten!
I know I am far behind on this but I do hope you’ll see this comment. I am 50 now, but when I was 32 I had some kind of brain event. I started noticing some mispronounciation of words, involuntary word substitution and a bit of a stutter – all rather worrisome as I am a radio announcer….and I started forgetting things. I had always had a truly amazing memory. I mean a truly terrific ability to remember everything – it’s not a happy story but I’ll just say that near-perfect recall was a very useful defense mechanism developed in early childhood that I had come to rely on. So when it began, first I noticed it, then my eldest son noticed it – my husband is an engineer so he didn’t notice it for quite some time…..my mother didn’t really believe me until she remembered something we’d done together and was telling the story and asked me if I remembered something about it.<
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