Jean-Marc with friends who came to visit, yesterday. That is little Céline and Raphael, and Laurence (wearing the hat. Her father was best friends with Jean-Marc's father.)
TODAY'S WORD: retourner sa veste
: to change sides (politically, etc), to go over to the other side
ECOUTER– Listen to Jean-Marc read the following French words:
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Changer de camp ou d'opinion par intérêt et non en vertu de principes moraux, afin de saisir une occasion ou d'échapper à une menace.
To change camp or opinion by self interest and not by virtue of moral principals, in order to seize an occasion or avoid a threat.
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A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
On Tuesday Jean-Marc and I cut through a Mediterranean pine forest for a walk along the craggy coastline near Bandol. As waves of saltwater slammed against the ochre-red cliff across the bay, we were struck by a not-so-new reality. We just hadn't spoken about it yet.
"I read in three different newspapers this morning that France is on the verge of a civil war. Don't you think the press is sensationalizing things?" Finishing my sentence, I fully expected my husband to brush off such fears. But he did not answer right away.
"I didn't want to admit this–but there are 10,000 terror suspects on the watch list in France. And if they all activated at once…." Jean-Marc did not need to finish his sentence. Instead my mind carried on with a scary string of images. I remembered one of the articles which reported certain Southern French countrymen (truffle farmers?) were, in response to the threat, stocking up on hunting rifles in recent weeks. I recalled the one Jean-Marc bought last year. I didn't know how to use it. Would I use it? Would he?
Such a scenario was surreal. Or was it "sur" "real" — "on" to reality? If we are not to live in denial, are we to be coming up with a plan?
"We could move to Colorado." Jean-Marc offered, with a half-smile (so he was kidding? right?). But how much safer was Colorado–given the news of civil unrest in America?
"We could go to Mexico." Almost as soon as I said it, I could hear a collective Booooo! (Coming from where? My conscience? Or from you, dear reader. Was that you who just bood? Maybe you overheard me bragging, recently–proud to tell others I have lived more than half my life in France (did that make me more French than American? Or just horribly smug? or, worse, unpatriotic?)
After pride comes The Fall. As those salty waves, below, continued to crash against the cliff, I looked over at the Frenchman walking beside me, and I thought about my would-be plan: You cannot take all the good that a country has to offer –and then abandon ship when the going gets tough! You cannot be an expat expat!
But I have never been an expat. A foreigner in France, yes. A resident, yes. An alien, often! An immigrant, by definition. An expat? Not in the sense of being unpatriotic! But I would feel like an ex-patriot if I left France during her time of trouble.
During France's current state of emergency, I will not, as the French say, retourner ma veste. I will not skip back and forth to whichever country benefits me at the moment. But I cannot lie, I am tempted to. If it means finding refuge.
COMMENTS
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Just two of the perks France has to offer. Jean-Marc, with 8-year-old, Celine, who was decorating Chief Grape, with the help of the blue ribbon that came on the box of cake she and her family brought us. I leave you with this tender image, and thanks for reading.
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The truest (only?) refuge is with those we love, and what we love. The rest is illusion and panic.
I just read an article in Science News that addresses depression. They’ve found a link between gut bacteria and depression. When depressed mice were given gut bacteria from a healthy mouse, their mood improved significantly. Seems odd, but there was a direct connection. The authors suggested eating various strains of yogurt and also asparagus or taking a probiotic pill regularly. It took several weeks for the new gut bacteria to take effect.
More and more mental illness is being tied to physical causes rather than psychological, but I am not saying it cannot be that also.
It is so sad that we have allowed terrorists to dominate our thoughts and our peace and security. Our beautiful world is threatened! But we cannot give in to them. All civilized countries need to stand together and get back to a world that honors God. Don’t give up your life in France. You would be giving in to terrorism. Just what they want!
For some reason the good Brigidine sisters taught us to sing La Marseillaise at my Australian boarding school … courage mes amis 🙂 G
It is indeed a difficult decision. Our governments have betrayed us in allowing the terrorist a massive foothold, but it appears to me that France is acting upon the emergency and taking a stand. Your children’s life is in France and so is yours. I too am married to a Frenchman. I had always planned on retiring in France where I spent my youth; but my children are Americans and their life is here so I pray that our next leader is Donald Trump, and although not a perfect man, and that he will be able to accomplish some of the things he has proposed. Hillary has promised to carry on the policies of Obama which have brought us to this state. I have wondered the same over the past few years as the lives of all have become more difficult and I have decided to stay and fight, even at my older age for the world I want for my children and grandchildren rather than to go to a new world with new problems and no history.
I am still, even with the terrorists, very happy and feeling very privelaged to be living in France. Is it really any better anywhere else? The world is in a mess, there is far too much hatred, little bit by little bit we must do what we can to build a better future.
Well said. For one whose home airport is Montreal, living in New York’s Adirondack Mountains, Canada beckons in troubled times. We face daunting challenges and my heart goes out to France. I recently completed a week in the Vercors. Unbelievable hospitality in a beautiful and rugged region. Living well is a hallmark of my French experience and I thank the French for setting high standards. I am sure they will move beyond the current challenges.
I’ve notice the yellow shirt on your picture and it made me smile! I’m Brazilian, living in the US for over 25 years. My children and my husband are Americans and I wouldn’t trade the safety of the life we created together for any other place in the world, unless for reasons of safety. Stay put, don’t give up, that’s exactly what the terrorist want,but always be ready to protect your family if necessary. I will keep you and your family in my prayers…
Thank you for your site, you are a gifted writer! I truly enjoy your stories, pictures and all the lessons.
Best regards,
Magaly
Hi Kristi,
I agree with Geraldine….we all need to stand together and honor God. We all need to pray for our countries, love each other and make our little place in the world better. What happened to just helping each other, loving each other. Treat others the same way you want the to treat you.
I too agree with Catharine. Donald Trump is a flawed candidate as we all are flawed but he is the right man for this time in our country. Our country is in chaos and I really worry for the future of America and the whole world.
We will be in France for Christmas and New Years. You can’t hide and still live. I want live and enjoy my life now and in the future. Wherever you go there are terrorists – blacks, police and innocent people being killed.
I feel sorry for the children of today. What will life be for them,but every generation says the same thing. Although I think that there is a faster changing world today and we don’t have any idea what the future holds. Climate change, technology, terrorists, Putin, ISIS, fighting in Africa & the Middle East, China spreading its wings, North Korea…there is so much more, on every continent, but you can’t stop living.
How morbid I got. Let’s sing praises to the summer, to the sun and to life. Go out and seize the day. Do something fun, something out of the box. I am making stuffed zucchini blossoms and tapas tonight and having some friends over to enjoy the feast. 😎 👍🍅🧀🍷🎼
Kathleen
So much of our bodies’ functions depend on a healthy gut. Make fermented foods a daily part of your diet. Yogurt, kimchee, sauerkraut, etc, etc. The cookbook, Nourishing Traditions, has some great information on fermented foods.
I hope peace comes to France and the USA… I live in Texas and don’t feel safe going to Mexico anymore… Too many bad guys down there too… And a bit of lawlessness as well… I hope to visit France again… But every time we talk about planning a trip … Something happens….I think we have to all stay w/ our country and fight for it…I also hope Trump becomes President … Anything is better than where we are headed now…. Peace and prayers for you, your family and France… Xo, Teresa
OK. I guess it is hard to discuss this without mentioning Donald Trump, who has based his entire campaign on fear and loathing and hating “the other.” So much for the US Republican being the party of “compassionate conservatism,” if it ever was. So much for giving us solutions instead of red meat for the masses. You’ve got to trust me a bit here, as I worked in politics for a dozen years, but the way people get elected is by researching what people are FEELING and then playing that back for them in speeches and TV commercials. It’s not that Trump “understands you and your problems,” (can you actually imagine that an uber-rich guy understands you???) it’s that he did research and is telling you what you want to hear. Simple as that. Following a bullying demagogue has never been smart; ask people across Europe who have marched to war innumerable times at their behest. It amuses me that US schools are all full of “anti-bullying” programs, while those kids parents seem more than ready to elect one as President.
Kristi. Stay put. Live your life. That is all any of us can do. Peace. Sorry for the overtly political post…..
If you give into fear, you’ve let them win. Just look at Donald Trump’s campaign: based on fear and scaring people into voting for one of the least qualified and vilest persons to ever run for president. The supporters of Donnie have drunk the Kool-Aid, I just hope we all don’t end up having to drink it, too.
It’s no picnic here either, Kristi–too many guns, too many angry people. We all just have to try to bring some kindness into our own small sphere and hope it spreads.
So true all these comments .If we give in& flee then they have achieved another step in their plan to turn the Western world into an world ruled by their barbaric rules & religion .
I was a war time child in Britain . The brits stayed put in the terrible blitz, We made do with shortages, rationing, being evacuated away from our parents who stayed in all the danger etc & came through it, beating that evil . We can do it again .
This is what I remind myself every time I get on an airplane or find myself in a dangerous situation:
“…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Ps.139:16)
I’ll go when it’s my time to go. In the meantime, I cannot live out the rest of my life in fear. Love wins in the end.
There is only one safe place in this violent, hate-filled world.
“…but the Lord supported me.
He led me to a place of safety;
he rescued me because he delights in me.” (2 Sam.)
“The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deut. 33:27)
Bon courage à tous!
Kristin, the civil unrest is creating unrest within all our minds. I’m contemplating starting to seriously limit the amount of time I spend on social media, so as to limit my exposure to all the anxiety-reduced talk. Yet, I also don’t want to sound ignorant. I do care, just as we all care. I believe that most of us are doing our best to stay positive amid the turbulence.
As for being an expat, I don’t believe that we ever truly are expats. Having emigrated / immigrated twice in my life thus far, I never stopped caring for the countries in which I was born and where I lived. Instead, I see myself more as a global citizen, a nomad of sorts, and this, paradoxically, makes me feel at home.
Thinking of you and sending you wishes of peace and tranquility!
Very well said…hopefully people will see the leadership and desire to bring people together once again. I heartily support Mr. Trump’s drive to the White House and hope to get people to realize how much that happens is distorted by a media that hates his idea of America’s greatness. With our country once again leading the world, FREEDOM will follow. Two in my family are police and everyday they go to work wanting nothing more than to protect ALL the people of their community…but they see and hear a lack of support from many so-called leaders in the country. With Mr. Trump in charge, we will once again support fully our police and military…at home and abroad.
My sad heart fills with love and prayers for France…and the world.
We will defeat the barbarians trying to storm the gates of civilation, together.
p.s. I ordered two of your Mexican shirts!
Merci!
Good for you. It is a difficult decision given the continual barrage of unrelenting news. I have lived in Paris for almost 10 yrs now
And will continue to take metros and buses etc. one needs to be aware but you can’t stop living. But then I am old and don’t have a young family and many years ahead of me. So it is an easier commitment for me. So bravo. I do so enjoy your newsletters andthis is the first time I have made a comment.
Bless you
Kristi, I love reading your blog … and the honesty of your writing.
As Kim has written above our only true safety lies in our security in Christ. Peter wrote almost 2,000 years ago: “This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are SHIELDED by GOD’S POWER until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.” 1Pe 1:4,5
Blessings on you and your family
That is funny you write about moving to Mexico! I have told my husband that if Trump gets elected I need to move to Canada! I am desperately scared that if Trump gets elected here there will indeed be riots. I live in Los Angeles, home of the Rodney King riots. I was working in Beverly Hills at the time, the doctor let us go early to get home, it was 3:30 in the afternoon. By then the streets were already packed with cars, people were lined up at gas stations, it took me close to 3 hours to get home, which is normally a 30-45 minute drive. There seems to be a lot of uncertainty around the world. There is no real safe place. Look at Norway and that nut who went crazy shooting hundreds of young people on that island. We all want to feel safe, and so we are vulnerable to over-reacting. France has been through much in it’s history. Unlike Great Britain, it is flanked by other countries that it has had to fight-off for centuries. My Norwegian language teacher talks about what it was like to live in Norway during German occupation. If you do go to Mexico, try Cabo, there are lots of Americans living there, no doubt you’ll probably find a few Frenchmen as well!
Oh dear!
I agree with several of the above comments. Right now Donald Trump is America’s best hope, and I am 100% behind him. I’ve lived all around the globe, including as a neighbor of your Mother, Jules, in Puerto Vallarta for 15 years. There have always been risks of potential dangers, from the wee to Huge. We have to stand up for what is right, use common sense in our everyday lives. Sometimes that means pulling in the reins of what we want to do, and what is appropriate to do at that time. Right now no place is “safe”, but some places safer than others. We have to live our lives a bit differently now. But, we cannot live cowering. When we do, the bad guys win.
“God is our refuge and help, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
Stay where you are, Kristin, and find your refuge in Him. It is no different here. There are terrorist cells in all fifty states and trouble is brewing here just as surely as there ~ and most everywhere. The whole world is catching on fire, as one pundit put it. Keep living your life (and posting FWAD!), be aware of where you go, and trust Him.
Indeed, fear is all around these days. Let us stay balanced and look with care at the political situation and avoid a impulsive reaction. Above all let us work for the good and remember our many blessings! Enjoy the remaining summer! Hot here on Cape Cod!
Hi Kristin, Do not believe you have to be unpatriotic to be an expatriate (one who lives outside their country). I was an expatriate Australian in England for many years – nothing to do with ‘patriotism’. I look at all the refugees from war-torn countries and feel that their situation is far worse than ours – and many of them are not allowed to enter another country! We should be thankful that there are so many good people in the world. One worries about terrorism to be sure, but car accidents and domestic violence kill more people far more often.
Praise to you, dear Kristie and Jean-Marc, for being thinking, rational, sensitive souls. You won’t be seduced by that possibly greener grass on the other side of the fence. You have enough real experience with other countries and cultures to understand the realities of a major move. We are following your words, which no doubt might apply to most countries in the world, about now. You will make the best decision for your family.
Please read this and then tell me he’s our “best hope.” I think the thing that jumps out to me is the word “sociopath.”
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/25/donald-trumps-ghostwriter-tells-all
In September, we will return to France as we do every year. I do not believe that we will feel that we are in any greater danger than we are when we travel to “major targets” in the United States, like New York City. In fact, there are no longer any major targets, and the world is pretty crazy. But we have joie la vie, and we will not give in to any notion, rumor, or threat of terrorism. We cannot let ourselves lose out on a precious life.
Your heart will guide you.
I moved alone to NYC in 1999, but became a New Yorker on Sep 11, 2001. I left NY in 2004, but not bc of terrorism fears.
I find it distressing that readers are using your comment section for their personal political agendas.
I am currently reading Sebastian Junger’s Tribe. Interesting read.
Wishing you love and peace.
…Kristin… I was a ‘expat’ for 3 years, living in Paris and loving every moment of it! We have returned to France every 2 years since 1991 and stay for a month. The USA is under siege by many factions and now policeman fear for their lives too! Our world has gone mad all over the globe today. I do not know a ‘safe place’.. but I know where my heart and home are. I am an American who just happens to love being in France better than being here. We are ancient now and do not have the money it would take to move there, but if I ever win the lottery we will rent a home there for a year on and off! Amidst all the horrific incidents in France and elsewhere , we must all summon up the courage deep within the well of our souls and carry on for ourselves and our family and our country! It is time to be even more loving to those around us and to show courage in every way we can! To me, now that I am 75! YEEGADS!! I am a believer in that ATTITUDE is 90 % of every battle we fight, within and outside of ourselves! We leave for France August 29th for a little more than a month… we cannot wait. I am very happy today as I have sworn off politics until I walk into the voting booth in November! I feel better already… God Bless you, JM and your lovely family and just stay put in your own little heaven you both have created! Bon courage, Judi Dunn, Tallahassee, Fl.
I have worried about France since 2001. My first trip there was to Goult in the Luberon in 1999. Got to our rented home late Saturday afternoon and the next day drove to Apt to find some breakfast provisions. We had lunch and then went seeking an open grocery store. Naturally we forgot all were closed as it was a Sunday….but in our search we walked deeper and deeper into the neighborhoods and ended up in one where all the residents came out and stood and stared at us like we should not be there. A friend took me aside and said we are in a Muslim neighborhood (he had been to France before)and told me to be very careful. This was my very first time meeting them…and I grew up in the inner city of Chicago and went to school with all sorts of minorities. We did find an open store and bought the basics and said Merci and left. I felt VERY uncomfortable. That same trip we planned on visiting Marseilles and were warned by a local in Menerbes that we should NOT go there. Too dangerous is what she said. So we crossed that one off the list. In 2000 we again stayed at the same home in Goult and never even gave Marseilles a thought…nor did we enter deep into Apt. Our 3rd trip was scheduled for 9/14/2001. Naturally the disaster in NYC and flight ban held us up for 5 days before we could go. The trip over on Air France was fine. The trip from Paris to Marseilles, however, was VERY intimidating. We were frisked thoroughly before boarding the plane. However, I could not believe seeing that the security people just let the Muslims skip past them and board without even a stroke of the wand. Once aboard, they “played” us…constantly checking their watches, staring at us,running up and down the aisles, occupying the lavatories, dialing their cell phones and running up to the cockpit. It was the flight from hell. Another family member had the exact same experience the next day coming in from London. She was weak with fright when she disembarked the plane. That whole trip had a black cloud over it afterwards as France never seemed the same idyllic paradise…and their presence was far more noticeable. A few years later actress Bridget Bardot wrote either an article or book about them and how fearful she was that France was being taken over by a very dark culture. She did it solely as an animal activist as she was horrified to see what they were doing to animals when slaughtering them for their Eid festival. She was then labeled a bigot, racit, xenophobe, etc., by the liberal media got fined about $25K US. Now I sort of wonder if the French government will give her a well-deserved refund. She was just telling the truth and was the sentinel at the gate.
We’re both Americans living abroad in countries that are under a state of emergency. You’re in France and I am on the south coast of Turkey. I have no plans to leave either, because this is where I chose to live. Americans in the United States live with a delusion that it is a ‘safe’ country, but there are more murders in the US in a month than there are on the south coast of Turkey in a year – and should they elect Trump, the US will become even scarier. But I must disagree with going to Mexico as it has also become an extremely violent country due to the drug cartel wars and kidnappings of foreignors. Yep – you’re much better off staying where you are.
Love and peace, non-violence and living without fear. If you must go somewhere for sanctuary, go within and fill your heart with love. And let that love radiate to all. Where are our energies best focused? On love. Peace and Love to you and your beautiful hearts. Live fearless!
I hate to interject politics here but Trump would be a complete disaster. Please read the best summary I have found of who this man is: http://www.vox.com/2016/7/21/12218136/donald-trump-nomination-afraid. He is using fear to engender support. And much of what he says is baseless. He is a tyrant. Remember Hitler and the masses who swooned in his support. There are distinct parallels.
Yes, we need a fresh start and a new perspective. But what about a peaceful one? Bernie Sanders has demonstrated a pacific approach. And I have long believed that diplomacy that looks at root problems vs. aggression will win over malintended factions. America is largely hated for its aggressive, self-seeking actions in recent times. We need to be better than that. And Trump won’t help. He is only creating larger divisions with his bullying sociopathic demeanor.
Also see this from the revered historian, Ken Burns: http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2016/07/19/amanpour-ken-burns-intv.cnn
Agreed. And I have noted above, those who are buying into him are less informed and succumbing to fear.
i have been planning a move to France for retirement my whole life. The possibility exists that either next year or the next, it could happen. I am watching and waiting because the world is a very unstable place at the moment. It isn’t just France. The US, all of the EU, the Middle East, Russia, Chiina, North Korea, and parts of Africa are all unstable. I am biding my time to see how the politics play out. Worse case, my mother is Canadian and I can get Canadian citizenship, which would not be a bad thing at all.
Kristi
I have been traveling to the your beautiful country for the last 9 years and absolutely enjoy returning every year for 4 weeks. I have friends who run a small hotel in Paris and I have told them that the ‘#%*#’ who have created all the fear over the last 18 months or so will not deter me from my visit to both Paris and Nice this September. I refuse to let the ‘cafards’ win. They are all cowards and creatures of the night who scatter and hide in the light of the day. I will visit the museums, the side walk cafes, use the metro, etc. As someone who lives in a country that seems to willingly accept 10 deaths a day due to guns, France seems like a relatively safe harbor to me. I plan on visits for the next 20 years. I have found my place of quiet and peace in the Luberon. Jim
As someone who is a U.S. resident and lives in one of the cities with the most racial unrest and as a sometime resident in France who has managed to be snug in my apartment there when two of the worst terrorist events have happened in our adopted country, I still hold to the belief that there are more good people than bad. I see it every day at my church and in my community. Loveisloveisloveislove said Lin-Manuel Miranda, Pulitzer prize-winning writer.
It does horrify me, though, that in both France and America the worst parts of our nature are coming to the surface and getting traction. It has become too much of an “us against them” narrative. As we’ve heard before, all it takes for evil to flourish is for a good person to do nothing. We’ve seen it more than once. So when I return to the U.S. in August, I’m going to work to make sure that Donald Trump and his white supremacist misogynistic supporters don’t make it to the White House.
Bon courage, Kristi.
Things are flying to hell in a handbasket here in the US. There seems to be no refuge from the chaos. 🙁
As a french property owner, and part time resident of France, it can all be very worrisome. Sort of how I felt in high school, Viet Nam war, the energy crisis. It all seemed hopeless, and what could one 17 year old do? I really thought that when I grew up, there would be no gas, and oil would coat all the California beaches. But you have to put one foot ahead of the other, finish school, start your family, work at something you hopefully love. That doesn’t mean its ok to hide your head in the sand. Throw your support to an issue; gun control, Black lives Matter, Climate Change…whatever concerns you most.
French and American voters have some tough choices ahead. Lets hope cooler, heads prevail.
Dear Kristi and Jean Marc, I was simply going to say, after seeing the picture of Céline and JM, Thank you–you are such angels! And, then, read as I scrolled down to so many address the fear and chaos we all must deal with. Please, remember the spiritual truth to look within–we all have loving wisdom to draw upon. We get into trouble when we look outside ourselves. Even external God–for anyone who appreciates the possibility of a Divine Source–look to your inner connection. We all must be vigilant for our minds: it’s so easy to have negative fantasies–what if this, what about that. Some of the readers touch on our most powerful healing tool–love. Also, we must not be afraid of the truth. A few links were given by wise readers [Tom with the brilliant Ken Burns interview; Ron with the important New Yorker story by the man who wrote “Art of the Deal”] should by read by all. And Thank you Judodunn, ATTITUDE is most important–your spirit, where you are coming from–let it be uplifted and positive, not raging and terrified.
By the way my mother’s family were American from France, my father was one of our first pilots–flew in France for the US Air Force. After his law degree, he worked for a huge US law firm in Paris, married my mother in NY, then went back and they lived in Paris for 5 years (way before I was born). I love France, especially Southern France, but have only been able to have short visits. Once I stayed in a hotel in Nice overlooking the ocean across the street–exactly where that devastation just occurred. I am so sorry, and wish healing for ALL of us. [Kristi, would you fix this so only my first name is used? can’t figure out Typepad…]
Yes, keep on living & traveling!
In France it is the Arab extremists causing destruction. In the USA, it can be anyone doing destruction. Doesn’t say much for our citizens. I am appalled. Would move to France too, esp if Trump gets elected. I’m not young either.
Good letter. I totally agree with you. Obama and Hillary have buried their heads in the sand. Read Oriana Falaggi’s “The Pride and the Rage.” This late hero was like Bridget Bardot…another sentinel at the gate warning Italy of this coming plague. Also Mark Steyn…and the hated (by the Left) Geert Wilders. They have been warning Europe of this for over a decade but no one wants to face the truth.
I’m glad I’m old. The next several generations are going to find nothing but misery unless we take a stand now.
Some great replies here that I agree with. Peace is in your heart,& safety too. The world quivers these days. No place is 100% safe.
Maggie G, this is an extraordinary remark, succinct, powerful and true. I would love to pass it along to others, as having come from ‘Maggie G’, of course: in my email signature line, and even on my facebook page — with your permission. Email or facebook …
Please let me know if I may do that?
Fingers crossed,
Kitty Wilson
(on fb as Kit Wilson-Pote, in Canada)