The photo Jean-Marc took of our daughter, before she momentarily disappeared.
The illusion of calm attracts swimmers. However, when great waves diminish, they (swimmers) are taken far away from the beach. When they try to swim against the current, they tire, weaken, and end up drowning. (See French translation below).
Today's Word: contre-courant
: ripcurrent, pull of tide, undertow
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L'illusion de calme attire les baigneurs. Cependant, quand les vagues venant du large faiblissent, ils sont emportés loin de la plage. Quand ils essaient de nager à contre-courant, ils se fatiguent, faiblissent et finissent par se noyer. -from "Courant d'arrachement" French Wikipedia entry.
A Day in a French Life…
by Kristin Espinasse
"There is something I have to talk to you about." The seconds that followed my husband's startling statement were punctuated by heartbeats. Lying there in bed, in the old stone grange of a rented island cottage, my thoughts raced to guess Jean-Marc's next words. Our children safe in the next room, Jean-Marc said softly:
"Jackie disappeared into the ocean…."
The punctuated thumping I had felt earlier was coming straight from my husband's heart, which beat against my back as he pulled me closer. "I could not keep this to myself any longer…." he admitted.
Jean-Marc could not bear to relive the moment when he watched our daughter being swept out to sea, and now he resisted my efforts to comfort him. "I need to finish," he said, "please let me finish," he urged, as I assured him all was OK.
"I was on the shore," he explained, "taking photos of Jackie as she swam out with her bodyboard. The water was so calm. And then a giant wave rose up and Jackie disappeared! After the wave crashed, I scanned the water for her. Fifteen… twenty seconds passed and I still could not see her. She had vanished. I was quickly swimming out when I heard a surfer shouting, "She is over there!"
With his eyes steadied on his child, Jean-Marc swam towards the horizon.
* * *
When Jackie could finally share her own grief with me a day later, owing to a secret vow, she said: "Maman, j'ai bu la tasse. I swallowed a mouthful. When I came up from the water, the shore was so far away….
I tried to swim back but became exhausted. And then I panicked. I thought about my life, including our last fight, and did you know I always love you–
Then I heard Papa shouting, Swim! Swim! But I was afraid for him trying to reach me. It was impossible to reach the shore. We would both drown!
* * *
Jean-Marc continued to shout, "Get on your bodyboard!" Jackie did what she was told and soon father and daughter reached one another. They were met by a rescue team who helped them out of the water, to the shore, where they took Jackie's blood pressure before letting her go home.
By the time I could comfort my daughter, a day later, I said to her, "Tell me everything you need to say. Get it all out."
As she rested her head in my lap, I stroked her soft hair and listened. "Ce n'est pas facile à comprendre." It is hard to understand, she said. As her words trailed off, I recognized the voice of a survivor.
Smokey and Jackie. When someone has returned from a traumatic experience, listen to them, for as long as they need to express their thoughts.
Post Note: So why did my family keep this secret from me? Because, as my son says, "Tu es emotive." (My short response would be: "Yes, emotional. But with the strength to lift every lead-heavy hurt off of your heart for the rest of eternity. And that adds up to a ton of relief. So please accept it next time!")
Thank you for sharing today's post with a friend, along with this tip (add your own): If you are caught in a rip current, swim across it, parallel to the shore.
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Love your ‘short response,’ Kristin.
Yes, I don’t like when people keep things from each other either. In my humble opinion, I see it as thinking that person is not strong enough to handle the news and removing their opportunity to become stronger.
However, I did not tell my mother everything I did when growing up either. Touché
Beautifully said!
So happy to hear it turned out well – I almost drowned when I was a small child. The fear of the power of the ocean has never left me.
Glad she is fine!
K
So, you have really been through it the past few months. Sort of like you’re being tested. Hang in there. Good new and bad news for me: I have a contract to produce a video in Oregon that will take a major portion of Sept and Oct. the bad news, I won’t be coming to Taradeau like I have for the past 5 Septembers. Already I think I’ve paid too high a price to earn my fees for the video. Video I can always do, three weeks in Taradeau? When they’re gone they are gone.
In their shock after such an immense scare, it was natural for them to seek to protect you, and by good fortune this decision made it possible for you to be their loving groundwire when the time came for them to process what had happened. Kristi, their initial focus on You helped everyone — in a natural, powerful way vibrant with love — to begin to absorb a life-changing experience in ways that enrich you all. Thanks be.
Very scary for all involved. Thank God for jean Marc’s quick action and that all is now well. xoN
Kristie
I felt a shudder all up my spine when reading this. How frightened Jackie and Jean Marc must have been. Mother Nature is indeed powerful and we must respect her!
Best
penny
Prayers of Thanksgiving are now being said.
So, so glad they are fine!
Time keeps me from reading other comments. So pardon any repetition of them here.
No one should ever try to swim against any current. It is too tiring and currents will usually win a struggle. Swim across the current (perpendicularly to its flow). Once thru the current, swimming to the nearest shore will be productive, not futile.
If your strength should be exhausted, turn over, float on your back so your face is out of water, enabling easy breathing, then paddle to the nearest shore.
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, thank You, Lord.
xoxo
Powerful, beautifully written story of a father saving his daughter by instantly doing exactly the right thing — and the responses show how we readers love you and your family.
Je suis content que l’histoire finit si heureusement. Maintenant, elle a deux raisons d’être reconnaissant envers son père pour sa vie. Un lien puissant est créé quand quelqu’un est sauvé de la mer.
Ouf, tout est bien qui fini bien…
Spellcheck:
could not bare = bear.
Our dear Kristi,
You brought tears to my eyes today.
We rejoice for you and with you that our beautiful Jackie is well.
What a deeply loving bond you and your precious family share.
You have given us renewed inspiration to cherish every day together.
THANK YOU!
Love
Natalia. xo
Kristi,
What an scary experience for your husband and Jacki.
Blessings to you and your beloved family.
Marti
I couldn’t wait to learn the secret but I never imagined anything like this. My eyes swelled with tears as I read your very moving account of what happened. Kristin, I have been enjoying your blog for 6 years and I think this is your best piece of writing. I could feel Jean-Marc’s angst jumping right off the page. The way you told the story from the different points of view is brilliant. To end with such a touching picture was perfect. Thank God that your beautiful daughter is alright.
Do you know the short story by O’hara called The Gift of the Magi? In it, the loving husband sacrifices to give his wife a gift. Simultaneously, she sacrifices to buy him something she knows he would treasure, a watch fob. But he sold his treasured watch to by a barrette for her lovely hair. But she sold her hair to by the fob. Oddly , your story reminds me of O’Hara’s. Your family needed something, but they sacrificed their need to be comforted by you in favor of your feelings, out of love. You gave them your comfort and love, when you learned,, but it was a bit off schedule. In the end, everyone was fine, and loved all the more. Not a perfect analogy, but it just made me think of it.
I am glad that Jacquie is ok. Nature is random and powerful. it is always an eye opener when we come so close to the power and the danger of nature.
Kristi, I am just reading this now and am speechless. So many others here have beautifully expressed the gamut of emotions that I felt in reading this. I will just add that I am so incredibly grateful for the outcome. Much Love to you and yours.
PS. I knew that photo with Smokey was special when I saw it on ig and now…well, it is so much more so…
What a scary experience for all involved! There are several excellent videos on YouTube that you all might want to watch. Just search “survive a riptide”. Like other skills, especially those that need to be employed in an emergency, the steps for surviving a riptide should be reviewed at the beginning of every summer. I’m so glad you are all OK!
Hi Kristi,
Once again, your story brings tears to my eyes! I’m so happy to hear Jackie is okay, what a scary experience! Thank God she had her boogie board. I think that is a French things to tell Maman after the fact because my husbands family does the same thing. I LOVE the picture of Smokey and Jackie, that needs to be blown up on Canvas. Thank you for sharing your life with us Kristi.
Bisous,
Sandy
Kristin:
So glad that your latest post had a happy, but sobering ending. Mothers will always worry about their children.
It is our nature.
Edie from Savannah
Thank You all for your sweet and conforting words.
My reaction to this highly fearing situation has been just natural, no braveness at all involved here.
Hope this will serve as a lesson for future similar situations.
Happy end of Summer
This has taken me two days to process! I was caught in a riptide in Laguna Beach, CA when I was 16 and I knew I would never totally forget that terrifying experience, of being pulled down and yet not really knowing which end was up, and sooo tired! Somehow I remembered being told to swim along the shore instead of directly in…luckily, finally my boyfriend saw me struggling when I reached the surface one of the times and was able to encourage me along to safety, much I’m sure like Jean-Marc did for Jackie. Praise to these two saviors!! I’m so relieved that all is well, and the bad memories will fade – but I guess every once in a while, like a lot of things, they pop up and getchya – but, all gets set to right again and we can really appreciate how wonderful life is and how grateful we are to be surrounded with loved ones. The scary ‘what ifs’ have to be replaced with the ‘thank God, all is ok!” Love to you all!
Getting caught in a rip happens all too often here in Oz, and I am so relieved that Jackie and ‘Chief Grape’ are safe. Bless you Kristi, many hugs sent your way; your story and photo brought tears to my eyes and gratitude to my heart. Love, Lisa xx
A LUMP IN MY THROAT AMD TWO DRIPPING EYES FOLLOWED BY THE JOY OF CONNECTION WITH ANOTHER EMOTIF PERSOM, A CHERISHED FRIEND.
Dear Kristi,
What a moving experience for all. It’s hard to be the mother because we tend to say “don’t tell Mom” whenever there is bad news. JM was wise to wait before telling you so that you could see Jackie restored safe and sound. Losing Breizh has taken time to work through and I think it was so much better to wait until he could tell you of a good news ending. We who live near the ocean are drilled often about swimming horizontally to shore in case of a riptide, but I’ve often wondered how well I would hold up in terms of swimming for a very long time. Praise God for body boards! Also important to look out for pools close to shore in front of sandbars as they aren’t always that shallow. So happy for a great ending and that Papa was there to help.
Thank you for sharing this story with us – what an emotional roller coaster! I’m incredibly glad your daughter was alright 🙂
When I was 12 and my brother 10, we were both good swimmers, the only children in a skin-diving club. One afternoon we were swimming, and didn’t realize until later that we were getting far from shore. When we tried to return, we found it difficult going. My father said later it was a riptide. I didn’t panic, but was unable to help my brother because we were close to the same size and I couldn’t carry or pull him and still swim. I eventually made it to shore, and a lifeguard brought my brother back. I remember thinking while in the water, “We could drown,” which seemed strange, although we were not actually drowning; I was aware that at some point we would be too tired to resist the waves.
After this incident, I learned that one should swim at an angle to the shore (say 45 degrees). I see in your account that you say people should swim parallel. Maybe both methods work. In any case, one should not swim straight in. I don’t get to the ocean often, but when I do, I generally stay in water not deeper than my own height, to be on the safe side.
Kristin — As usual, I am about a week behind in reading your wonderful blog. What a terrifying story…. I have read about undertows for years but have never seen or experienced one. So glad Jean-Marc was there.
I loved the way you talked with Jackie and invited her to express her feelings. My family has often tried to “protect” me from bad news because of my sensitivity and nature “emotive,” not recognizing perhaps that that same sensitivity might also be a strength. I am often perplexed as to why they think I might not be able to handle the news. How lucky Jackie is to have you as a mom.