The photo Jean-Marc took of our daughter, before she momentarily disappeared.
The illusion of calm attracts swimmers. However, when great waves diminish, they (swimmers) are taken far away from the beach. When they try to swim against the current, they tire, weaken, and end up drowning. (See French translation below).
Today's Word: contre-courant
: ripcurrent, pull of tide, undertow
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L'illusion de calme attire les baigneurs. Cependant, quand les vagues venant du large faiblissent, ils sont emportés loin de la plage. Quand ils essaient de nager à contre-courant, ils se fatiguent, faiblissent et finissent par se noyer. -from "Courant d'arrachement" French Wikipedia entry.
A Day in a French Life…
by Kristin Espinasse
"There is something I have to talk to you about." The seconds that followed my husband's startling statement were punctuated by heartbeats. Lying there in bed, in the old stone grange of a rented island cottage, my thoughts raced to guess Jean-Marc's next words. Our children safe in the next room, Jean-Marc said softly:
"Jackie disappeared into the ocean…."
The punctuated thumping I had felt earlier was coming straight from my husband's heart, which beat against my back as he pulled me closer. "I could not keep this to myself any longer…." he admitted.
Jean-Marc could not bear to relive the moment when he watched our daughter being swept out to sea, and now he resisted my efforts to comfort him. "I need to finish," he said, "please let me finish," he urged, as I assured him all was OK.
"I was on the shore," he explained, "taking photos of Jackie as she swam out with her bodyboard. The water was so calm. And then a giant wave rose up and Jackie disappeared! After the wave crashed, I scanned the water for her. Fifteen… twenty seconds passed and I still could not see her. She had vanished. I was quickly swimming out when I heard a surfer shouting, "She is over there!"
With his eyes steadied on his child, Jean-Marc swam towards the horizon.
* * *
When Jackie could finally share her own grief with me a day later, owing to a secret vow, she said: "Maman, j'ai bu la tasse. I swallowed a mouthful. When I came up from the water, the shore was so far away….
I tried to swim back but became exhausted. And then I panicked. I thought about my life, including our last fight, and did you know I always love you–
Then I heard Papa shouting, Swim! Swim! But I was afraid for him trying to reach me. It was impossible to reach the shore. We would both drown!
* * *
Jean-Marc continued to shout, "Get on your bodyboard!" Jackie did what she was told and soon father and daughter reached one another. They were met by a rescue team who helped them out of the water, to the shore, where they took Jackie's blood pressure before letting her go home.
By the time I could comfort my daughter, a day later, I said to her, "Tell me everything you need to say. Get it all out."
As she rested her head in my lap, I stroked her soft hair and listened. "Ce n'est pas facile à comprendre." It is hard to understand, she said. As her words trailed off, I recognized the voice of a survivor.
Smokey and Jackie. When someone has returned from a traumatic experience, listen to them, for as long as they need to express their thoughts.
Post Note: So why did my family keep this secret from me? Because, as my son says, "Tu es emotive." (My short response would be: "Yes, emotional. But with the strength to lift every lead-heavy hurt off of your heart for the rest of eternity. And that adds up to a ton of relief. So please accept it next time!")
Thank you for sharing today's post with a friend, along with this tip (add your own): If you are caught in a rip current, swim across it, parallel to the shore.
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Hi Kristi: It was worth waiting for the second half of this cliffhanger.
What a scare for Jean Marc and Jackie and now for you. Even though you knew the out come.We need to remember to embrace every moment with our loved ones.
DianeD
What a wonderful story about what love really means. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I have been moved to tears, literally. Life is so precious. Thank you for sharing.
I had a near drowning boat incident when I was 15. Almost got eaten by a shark at the same age while surfing. Far too many other near tragic incidences I NEVER told my mother about. She went to her grave blissfully ignorant of how many times she nearly lost me to fate. Your family must sure love you a lot to keep things from you, that’s all I can say Kristin.
We live with the same danger here by the Atlantic Ocean. We call it “rip tide” or “undertow”. Some days is stronger and worse than others. The lifeguards are always on the lookout for swimmers caught in its grip. Locals know to swim horizontally to the beach until you are out of it….and then swim to the shore. Many had to be rescued this summer. Thank heaven for JM’s loving eyes on his daughter. So relieved and happy that both of them are safe.
Thank you for sharing. You have become a friend since I was introduced to your page 3 years ago. I enjoy it all.
how terrifying for your daughter & husband! How good it is that they were able to tell you about it; my husband & grandchildren were caught in a riptide several years ago. I remember my husband trying to get the words out to tell me about it; my heart was gripped with fear! They were saved by a wave coming to shore; so glad that everyone is safe!
Dear Kristin,
God bless you and your beautiful family. His Light is shining on all of you. You have the sweetest and kindest heart.
I nearly drowned when I was 10 years old, I well know the fear. It gave me a fear of water, but not a respect. Years later, as an adult, not wanting to instill that fear in my future children, I overcame that fear & learned to swim. Though, when I was at the beach in Florida with my little ones, I was rather over protective when there were waves. Glad Jackie is safe & sound.
I can only say how extremely blessed you are Kristi, all of you, that Jean-Marc was watching and acted so quickly to prevent a tragedy I cannot even think about. Such events encourages all of us to pay attention to dangers, but more than that, to the people we love and treasure in this life.
Dear Kristin, I am so glad that your beautiful daughter is safe…that your family is safe and that you all care so deeply about each other. I hope that you never lose that open communication and that wonderful ability to communicate your feelings and emotions to each other. It is very painful when someone totally closes you out of your life without explanation…
I so love reading about your wonderful family….
hugs, BJ
Dear Kristi,
I believe in angels, whether it be an unseen force or another person, especially a parent who will use every fiber in the body to protect a child. In this being kept from you, perhaps to protect you, you could not offer comfort during the trauma. But maybe what you offer now is more comforting and powerful as emotions from the others have settled and calmed somewhat. Such a beautifully expressed thought…”with the strength to lift every lead-heavy hurt off of your heart for the rest of eternity.”
Thank goodness that Jean-Marc was there, and that you are there now to comfort and help emotions heal.
My mother used to say, “God works in wondrous ways.”
First of all, I’m so relieved by the happy outcome! My heart was in my throat as I saw the scenario unfolding in my mind’s eye. Being a parent is fraught with so many near tragedies, some in which you are caught up and others that you will probably never know about. You are blessed to live within such a family who protects you with so much love. I hope Jackie has recovered from her trauma.
Wonderful article. Thank you. As another commenter stated, in Hawaii and California, at least, the more common term in English is rip tide. The famous Makaha beach, where white person’s surfing was invented, has a dramatic rip tide. The waves come in along the north side of the bay and then the water rushes out at quite a speed further south. Life guards are on constant watch for the many swimmers who get caught.
Kristin, Thanks for sharing this tale. Emotive or not, it was so good for Jean-Marc and Jackie to let the truth be told, after such a traumatic event. Bless your heart, it was probably best you weren’t there when it happened. Thank heaven Jean-Marc was calm and able to help bring Jackie home to you.
Hence the words>Enjoy each day/moment with your loved ones.. Don’t let the sun go down with harsh words/action between you & your loved one. But mostly LIVE, LOVE, ENJOY EACH DAY AS IF YOUR LAST(With no intentional harm to others). Am VERY happy about the outcome. I too have been through similar situations with my self & my children>the outcome VERY good. Meaning lessons learned and the reason for thanking God for giving me/us life and the chance to do right by Him. Take care Kristin, God bless you and those you love. LOVE your family and enjoy them…
Dear Kristin:
What a gripping tale of both fear and love! Thank you for once again sharing a heart-stomping moment with us.
I am leaving Friday for a one-week trip to Myrtle Beach, SC, the Atlantic, and will be sure to share with my companions this story as a reminder to swim with the current till free of it, then into shore. In addition to shark attacks, the ocean herself can be a dangerous beauty. She certainly deserves our utmost respect and supreme watchfulness. I’m so glad Jean-Marc was vigilant, and acted quickly. I wouldn’t have expected anything different from him, though.
Kristi, your love in the aftermath is very touching indeed. I love what you said to Max. You and your hubby are a great team, wonderful parents and a fine example to your children.
Jackie, I am so thankful that you are safe! Your final thoughts of love and worry for your mother brought me to tears. You and your brother are surely following in your parents’ steps of love… The picture of you and Smokey, while so sweet to see when first posted on Instagram, now holds so much more meaning.
Hugs of relief to all, Alisa
happy to hear jackie and JM are safe. how scary!! thank you for sharing.
I am too “emotive” for words. Sheer gratitude for the depth of love in this family, for the way you share it with us. Merci.
Sometimes in life we need to find strength we don’t feel. It is very true when it comes to our loved ones. A month ago my son borrowed my small roadster to go to school. The car is notorious for loosing traction and I have always warned my children to be careful when they drive it. My son called his father to tell him that the car slid off the road in a rainstorm and was stuck in the mud. My husband called me. I knew the place where this had happened, a tight curve with two lanes meeting up with an interstate and it has always been dicey even in good weather. I immediately called my son to tell him to get out of the car and move away from the fast moving traffic. Because of the traffic and the bad connection he could not hear me. If the car got hit with him in it he would be severely injured. Not could, but would be injured. The car is just too small (yes, I had been thinking of selling it for that reason). I was frantic that my son would stay in the car to be out of the rain. While waiting for a tow truck and for us, another car came along, lost control at the same place and slid into my Miata hitting the drivers side rear panel. My son was not injured because he had gotten out of the car in the pouring rain and moved up an embankment to be away from the traffic. When he called to tell us what had happened my only thought was, “Thank God, he was not in the car.” I did not get upset, I was grateful my son was alive and well. I let my son describe to me the fear that made him move to a safer place and I talked to the other driver who expressed how relieved she was that my son had not been in the car when her much bigger car slid into the smaller one. Having the grace to listen to someone else can be difficult in difficult times. But it always pays off. Everyone is safe and moving on with life. There is so much I could talk about, the grace of God, the heroics of a father, the fear of drowning, but I will let others tell you how lucky all of you are, and just applaud you for listening, because there was a time when if I were in your situation, I would be lecturing everyone involved and prohibiting them from going to the water without my presence.
Thank heavens Jackie and Jean-Marc made it safely to shore and that they were following the cardinal rule: “never swim alone” ! I feel that this frightening experience has brought you even closer together as a family. You told it so beautifully, Kristin, as only you can do. I am drying tears. Thank you.
So glad for a good outcome! Blessings to you and your family.
Thank God for the guardian angels at work here. Kristin, this gave me chills. Truly. So beautifully told.
What a terrifying and emotional story! I’m so relieved to read about the positive outcome! Like you, I am incredibly emotive, but this quality does also makes us strong, especially when it comes to our family.
Oh Kristi, I am so glad that Jackie is okay. The picture of Jackie and Smokey on the beach is lovely.
Kirsit, What a terrifying experience for Jackie and for Jean-Marc. Your story was mesmerizing.
And you have a gift for telling a tale. You should write a novel.
barbara
I had this experience of being pulled out to sea by a riptide when I was twenty. It changed my relationship with the ocean forever. I still love the vast beauty of it but have had far more respect for its power. I’m so glad Jackie is safe and understand how she feels as a survivor. When these things happen, there are certainly lessons to be learned about the fragility of life and appreciating each day we are given and each loving person in our lives.
This was a story like none other- terrifying for Jackie, Jean Marc and you as you look back. Your families’ love for and wish to protect you also shines through so clearly.
A tender mercy to see the photo of Jackie with Smoky; to know that you are loved and
protected and the biggest of all graces: to know that your child is safe and that her father was willing to give his life to save her.
Beautifully written. Thank you, Kristi. Blessings on all.
Micki
Wow, what a scary story!! My family was just at the beach for a week and we all made a point of staying near the lifeguards in case of riptides. That is good advice about swimming parallel to the shore.
I am so very very glad that Jackie is OK, and that your family found the strength to tell you and lean on you for support.
That must have been so terrifying for both of them. I am thanking God they are both safe. Give Jackie and Jean Marc a big hug from me offering comfort.
xoxo
I almost drown as a young girl in Puerto Rico swimming in the ocean with my Father..very terrifying, when you realize you are not here forever, I don’t think my Mother ever knew.
What a terrifying moment for them and for you later. I started to cry, imagining my own children in such a dangerous position. But your family must understand by now that even if you can be emotional (raising hand here) you have all the strength needed to battle every tribulation that comes your family’s way.
And, Kristin, never second-guess yourself over whether you could have done something different to change an outcome. You know you give 100% to those you love, and that’s all anyone can do.
That photo of Smokey and Jackie is stellar. I hope that’s the moment Jackie remembers first when she thinks of your vacation. Blow it up, frame it, and put it in a significant spot in her bedroom.
Jackie is a survivor – and a single tear just rolled down my cheek reading this. Recognizing this in her, as her mother, must be a life-changing thing for you – and her. She’s about to go out into the world stronger, yes? (Or maybe I just need more coffee before I go out into the world today all “emotive.”) The picture of her and Smokey was also heart warming. Not to mention the memories it brought back of my beloved Golden (Brandon) onto whom I’d cling – just like that – over the years. What a post, what love! x
How quickly you pull us in to a situation, get emotions and fears going, and, thankfully today, provide relief as well as a sweet photo. I hope you know what an expressive gift you have–so much complexity and subtlety in each short post. Today was masterful! The other gift is how much of yourself and your lovely family you share with your readers. Thank you!
So relieved she is ok what a scare!!! Beautiful ocean can be so deadly so many lessons for all of us.
Kristin, you are, indeed, emotional, sensitive, loving and in the end very strong. Thanks for the beautiful telling of this powerful tale of love.
Kristin, I am so glad this had a happy ending! I too watches as my husband and son we caught in a riptide in California. They didn’t know they were caught and kept trying to swim straight to shore. We can now laugh because in the midst of their struggle, they were confused why this beautiful female life guard was swimming out to join them! Lol…
Thank God that your sweet family is in one piece and bravo to you to pull out their story so they can talk about it and heal! Bless you all.
Moved me to tears.
xoxo
Christine
Dear Kristin,
I’m glad to hear it all turned out okay. Yours is a mother’s love, emotional, but able to bear much, especially for your husband and children. Your advice to them is absolutely the best: get it out, get it all out. Take your time. Same to you.
Be well,
Denise in Claremont, CA
Spread your arms like wings. When you throw your arms over your head, you’re like a torpedo, and you sink. Stretch your arms out, perpendicular to your body to slow your descent if you’re going down. If you can, fill your lungs with as much air as possible to increase buoyancy.
Bravo to you and your brave family. Extra hugs to everyone. Jackie has good parents.
This story is amazing this is indeed strength of the human heart and bond shows us that life is precious and the bond of family, friends and living things around us should be treasured without reserve lots of love…………
Your story took my breath away and tears of anguish and relief for you and your beautiful family came to my eyes. May you always keep safe…
Hugs and love to you and your family. What a terrifying experience for your daughter and husband. I imaginee his heart pounded loud enough to be heard by Jackie. I am so relieved for the happy ending. What a lovely sweet picture of Jackie and Smokey at the end. Thank you for sharing.
… What a tale of love and bravery! J-M is a true to life hero in every sense of the word. Thank God they are both okay, as he was sweet and loving to wait till just the right moment to share the story with you. He knows you well! When we lived in Hawaii we learned to read the waves and to be completely aware of the ‘rip tides’ , so when we went ‘boogie boarding’ we had lots of fun but were always aware and cautious. The ocean will claim you in a heartbeat if you are not careful. Jackie learned a life lesson she will never forget. Merci mon Dieu pour a tous! J. Dunn, Tallahassee, Fl.
Yikes! What a scary story. So glad all is well. JM was wise telling you in this manner. Thank you for bringing us along with you — in happy, sad & scary times!
Stay well!
Annette, Thanks for sharing this information with everyone. I was thinking of doing the same thing. We have occasional rip tides here in the gulf, too.
Kristin,
A tragedy waiting to happen but all turned out well. Thank God. Dean’s children did many things that they never told their parents,such as floating on the ice floats in Long Island Sound and and falling the freezing water. They always, some how survived. Some children just have that, je ne sais quoi.
Kathleen
Many of us have similar stories…all is well that ends well…and we have unending gratitude.