Jean-Marc is reading "Mastering the Art of French Eating," by Ann Mah. Highly recommended! Order your copy here and enjoy the 5-star reviews. More about this entertaining and insightful book on France and food, very soon…
tenir la route (teuh-neer-lah-root)
: to stay the course
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Hier on a célébré 19 ans de mariage. Notre fille nous a payé un compliment: Votre couple, elle a dit, a bien tenu la route. Yesterday we celebrated 19 years of marriage. Our daughter paid us a compliment: Your relationship, she said, has stayed the course.
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A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
At a neatly-dressed table overlooking the sea, our celebratory lunch was coming to a disappointing ending. But it was hard to be annoyed at the waiter, whose gentle smile had been so kind and welcoming. I watched as he struggled to keep up with the tables during the lunch rush, and felt the growing anxiety he himself might be feeling. It seemed at any moment the new arrivals, to our left, would stand up and toss their napkins on the table, before leaving in disgust.
I had the urge to whisper to the impatient newcomers, "The waiter is not ignoring you, he is just a little overwhelmed at the moment." Instead, I minded my own business. Let life take its course has become my meditation lately. The idea is not to meddle in God's grand plan. Good things and bad things happen. It is how we steady ourselves that matters. We have simply to trust and to love.
Jean-Marc was growing weary of the wait, too. The stray cats had been a good distraction, but after watching the furry interlopers take turns patrolling beneath the tables for fallen scraps, my husband heaved a sigh of impatience. When could we finally order a cup of coffee? I could read his mind as his eyes scanned the restaurant's terrace for our waiter.
Oh no. I hoped he wouldn't voice the complaint or say something sarcastic. Not after the friendly exchanges we'd had with the waiter. But the truth was, I was losing my patience too.
"You need to grab him when he comes by…" I hinted, the curt tone in my voice giving away my own exasperation. Such "suggestions" were the story of our married life. On the one hand I complained about my husband's nerve, on the other it was I who sometimes pushed him to the front lines of confrontation. Have you heard back from the plumber? Is the telephone company going to charge us for that? Really?
I sank down a little in my seat. That everyday life could be an ongoing war was disheartening. That a moment of ingratitude could give way to a restless impatience, was even more humbling. How fortunate we are–and yet our hearts are as fragile as anyone's. These thoughts come to me after the fact. After I've melted into a pool of tears there at the bustling restaurant.
The sequence of events happened quickly. One minute we were waiting for the waiter, the next I was worrying about the impatient newcomers to our left… then the strained look on my husband's face… and the homeless cats….
And next I knew the waiter appeared, bearing a little plate of cake. I stared at the single candle on top, its flame already blown out by the breeze, despite the waiter's efforts to shield it. I noticed the spray of whipped cream that outlined the surprise cake. The sweetness hit me, suddenly, and the tears rushed up.
"Thank you!" I squeeked, and it was all I could do to keep my eyes dry until the waiter left, resuming his sprint from one table to the next.
By the time I looked over at my husband, the barrage had opened and my face was flooded with tears. Jean-Marc's thoughtful gesture had pushed me over the edge of my own edginess. It was just a little piece of cake, but it might as well have been a shimmering engagement ring (and if it were, I suddenly knew, deep down, that I would marry him all over again today on our 19th wedding anniversary).
How thoughtful he is! Try as I might, I could not stent the flow of tears. Next came the runny nose and then the heaving. I could not explain the reaction but, by all appearances, it looked as though I was mourning–instead of showing gratitude for the anniversary cake he had arranged to be delivered to me there at the table.
"I can't explain…" I said to Jean-Marc whose eyes never left mine. (I wished they would, for his concentration only intensified my emotion, causing another wave or downpour of tears.)
"It's just that …." I took a deep breath and finish my sentence, "On a quand même une très belle histoire..." It was true, we had, after all, a pretty damn good love story.
***
Later, our daughter Jackie managed to put to words what I could not. On showing her the pictures from our anniversary lunch, and sharing with her my teary reaction, she offered: "Votre couple a bien tenu la route!" Yes, our couple has stayed the course–at times an obstacle course. But we have held on for the ride.
I can't help but make a small parallel, now, when I think about those scraggly stray cats at the restaurant. How cavalier they seemed, as they strutted beneath the tables, but when so much as a strand of grated cheese fell to the ground, they lost all notion of ego or pretense and devoured the fallen scrap.
"I'm not such a toughy, after all," I said to Jean-Marc as I wiped the tears from my face back at the table. I'm not sure he fully realizes that when push comes to shove in our marriage, rather than show my sadness, the well of tears inside of me freezes into a giant shield.
After the avowal, I quickly looked away to recompose. Wrung out from the tears, I watched those proud cats, who strutted to a stop, only to scramble when a sliver of sustenance fell from the sky above. Love is sometimes the same way, appearing in scraps. And suddenly, strutting along through life, tough as nails, we are dumbstruck by our hunger.
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Bescherelle conjugation guide.
"This is without a doubt the definitive guide to conjugation of French verbs… an indispensible reference and not overwhelming for beginning students." Order it here.–M. Savoir (Amazon reviewer)
Jean-Marc bought two round trip ticket to Sardinia for 68 euros. We stayed three nights at a B&B, near Pula. (Lodging was 60 euros per night and the 3 day rental car was 100 euros… just in case you are looking for something do do when in the South of France–visit a nearby island!)
We also celebrated this occasion back in July, when we remembered our civil ceremony. See a steamy picture of that celebration, here.
Other reasons to visit Sardinia…. the flowers are so pretty this time of year…
If you love bikes you'll see plenty…
The locals sells their modest harvests….
Already mentioned the bikes, but they're worth another line….
And if you like classic motos — plenty of those!
Personally, I'm a sucker for door curtains and their flirty ruffles! Love it when the tiles peek out.
Also charming are the brochettes of Italians chatting next to the little trucks called "Apes" ("bees", in Italian).
I used to love to gaze at the sheep. Nowadays, I love to look for the shepherd!
Do these shutters speak to you, too? They come in all colors and sizes, but "natural" like this is fine by me.
Your are always celebrating your anniversary, Jackie sighs. I can understand her confusion. Our civil and religious marriage ceremonies being months apart, there is the temptation to mark the occasion when it arises in July… and again in September.
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bon anniversaire to a beautiful couple with a beautiful life.
bon anniversaire to a beautiful couple with a beautiful life.
I echo the above – your dear husband, your ability to capture emotions, your ability to BE REAL. You give us freedom to be true ourselves.
And your faithful philosophy to trust in His plan – His sovereignty. 1 Tim 6:15 talks about Jesus as the blessed (i.e. happy, gleeful) controller. You and I make MISERABLE controllers of our lives.
Grateful for God’s gift to you in your writing
I echo the above – your dear husband, your ability to capture emotions, your ability to BE REAL. You give us freedom to be true ourselves.
And your faithful philosophy to trust in His plan – His sovereignty. 1 Tim 6:15 talks about Jesus as the blessed (i.e. happy, gleeful) controller. You and I make MISERABLE controllers of our lives.
Grateful for God’s gift to you in your writing
Thank you for sharing the tender, touching moments as well as the tough ones with your readers, just as you share with Jean-Marc. You have learned so much, and the best is yet to come. Congratulations on this wonderful occasion, and many, many happy returns. Sardinia photos are so lovely.
Thank you for sharing the tender, touching moments as well as the tough ones with your readers, just as you share with Jean-Marc. You have learned so much, and the best is yet to come. Congratulations on this wonderful occasion, and many, many happy returns. Sardinia photos are so lovely.
Happy, happy anniversary to you both. What a delightful and poignant story. I just loved it. And it is definitely good to celebrate all your anniversaries! We met on January 13 and married on January 22nd..same year…and we always celebrate both anniversaries.
Happy, happy anniversary to you both. What a delightful and poignant story. I just loved it. And it is definitely good to celebrate all your anniversaries! We met on January 13 and married on January 22nd..same year…and we always celebrate both anniversaries.
This story brought tears to my eyes.
My husband and I celebrated 25 years on August 4. And August 6. (We have two wedding dates, long story.) He surprised me with a getaway to Minneapolis, and I surprised him with a posting a poem and recent photos of the Viking funeral of our antique wedding dress on my website. I just love the phrase “tenir la route” because it is so true. The way is there (or we make it) but that doesn’t mean its easy, just…exhilarating and humbling as your post reminds me.
Happy anniversary! Leslie Schultz in Northfield, MN
This story brought tears to my eyes.
My husband and I celebrated 25 years on August 4. And August 6. (We have two wedding dates, long story.) He surprised me with a getaway to Minneapolis, and I surprised him with a posting a poem and recent photos of the Viking funeral of our antique wedding dress on my website. I just love the phrase “tenir la route” because it is so true. The way is there (or we make it) but that doesn’t mean its easy, just…exhilarating and humbling as your post reminds me.
Happy anniversary! Leslie Schultz in Northfield, MN
Happy Anniversary! What a surprise to find out that we share an anniversary – although for us it is 29 years! And please say hello to Jean-Marc for us – we met him at Pike & Western Wine Shop the last time he was in Seattle!
Donna and Rob Dughi
Happy Anniversary! What a surprise to find out that we share an anniversary – although for us it is 29 years! And please say hello to Jean-Marc for us – we met him at Pike & Western Wine Shop the last time he was in Seattle!
Donna and Rob Dughi
Beautiful and touching story that really hit home for me. I too, react the same way at the oddest times! Thanks for your writings.
Janet
Beautiful and touching story that really hit home for me. I too, react the same way at the oddest times! Thanks for your writings.
Janet
Happy anniversary to you both!! Thank you for the beautiful post today and the lovely pictures!!
Happy anniversary to you both!! Thank you for the beautiful post today and the lovely pictures!!
Merci beaucoup to friends and dear family who responded to this post. Last night, stuck in traffic on our way home from the airport, Jean-Marc asked the torturesome question: So, what are you going to write about tomorrow?
I told him I am practicing staying in the moment, and that I would worry about tomorrow tomorrow! Thank you all for your response to this story.
Elisabeth, thank you for our insights into the French language — always so helpful!
Ronald, I enjoyed the vespa info, too!
Time to see about dinner… wishing everyone a lovely evening (or day, depending).
Merci beaucoup to friends and dear family who responded to this post. Last night, stuck in traffic on our way home from the airport, Jean-Marc asked the torturesome question: So, what are you going to write about tomorrow?
I told him I am practicing staying in the moment, and that I would worry about tomorrow tomorrow! Thank you all for your response to this story.
Elisabeth, thank you for our insights into the French language — always so helpful!
Ronald, I enjoyed the vespa info, too!
Time to see about dinner… wishing everyone a lovely evening (or day, depending).
Happy Anniversary, Kristin and Jean-Marc!
I would like to share a quote that I keep next to my computer so that I can remind myself of its message often:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!”
I think that you and Jean-Marc already follow this simple message!
Enjoy!
Happy Anniversary, Kristin and Jean-Marc!
I would like to share a quote that I keep next to my computer so that I can remind myself of its message often:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!”
I think that you and Jean-Marc already follow this simple message!
Enjoy!
Our dear Kristi,
What a beautiful and touching post today!
Once again it(and you!) haves wrapped yourselves around our hearts and given us
both appreciation and inspiration!
We send prayers of thanks to God for the gift of having you and your dear family in our lives,and wishing you and Jean Marc both
congratulations and blessings for many more joyful years of togetherness.
Love, Natalia XO
Our dear Kristi,
What a beautiful and touching post today!
Once again it(and you!) haves wrapped yourselves around our hearts and given us
both appreciation and inspiration!
We send prayers of thanks to God for the gift of having you and your dear family in our lives,and wishing you and Jean Marc both
congratulations and blessings for many more joyful years of togetherness.
Love, Natalia XO
Beautiful and beautifully told.
Beautiful and beautifully told.
Happy 19th Wedding Anniversary to you! You are such a beautiful couple! Wishing you abundant blessings of good health, prosperity, endless love and happiness!
Happy 19th Wedding Anniversary to you! You are such a beautiful couple! Wishing you abundant blessings of good health, prosperity, endless love and happiness!
Happy (belated) Anniversary! David included my favorite sentences “Love is sometimes the same way, appearing in scraps. And suddenly, strutting along through life, tough as nails, we are dumbstruck by our hunger.” And Jules captured the thought with “a master of words and emotions.” Not much more can be said.
Happy (belated) Anniversary! David included my favorite sentences “Love is sometimes the same way, appearing in scraps. And suddenly, strutting along through life, tough as nails, we are dumbstruck by our hunger.” And Jules captured the thought with “a master of words and emotions.” Not much more can be said.
Félicitations Kristin & Jean_Marc pour vos 19 ans de mariage ! Joyeux Anniversaire ! Il vous reste plusieurs belles années ensemble, j’en suis persuadée ! AH! Kristin, you write so beautifuly, your expression is so poetic !
Quelle fantastique escapade que la Sardaigne poue célébrer ! Très romantique !
Bisou à vous deux,
Clo
Félicitations Kristin & Jean_Marc pour vos 19 ans de mariage ! Joyeux Anniversaire ! Il vous reste plusieurs belles années ensemble, j’en suis persuadée ! AH! Kristin, you write so beautifuly, your expression is so poetic !
Quelle fantastique escapade que la Sardaigne poue célébrer ! Très romantique !
Bisou à vous deux,
Clo
Dear Kristin,
I have been reading your blog about a year, but this one has prompted me to write. I am in France trying to learning French, though my 64 year old brain is a bit slow. You describe so honestly and beautifully the state of our hearts. One minute extended in love, wandering and trying to drink love from someone or thing that cannot fill our deepest needs. You said that you used to look at the sheep, and now you look at the shephed. I read this, this morning.
Isaiah, 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd; he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Congratulations on your important day!
Lynn Leary
Dear Kristin,
I have been reading your blog about a year, but this one has prompted me to write. I am in France trying to learning French, though my 64 year old brain is a bit slow. You describe so honestly and beautifully the state of our hearts. One minute extended in love, wandering and trying to drink love from someone or thing that cannot fill our deepest needs. You said that you used to look at the sheep, and now you look at the shephed. I read this, this morning.
Isaiah, 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd; he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Congratulations on your important day!
Lynn Leary
Salut Kristin and Jean-Marc
Joyeux anniversaire mes amis, je suis très heureux pour vous.
À bientôt
Salut Kristin and Jean-Marc
Joyeux anniversaire mes amis, je suis très heureux pour vous.
À bientôt
I see I am not the only one who thinks this is one of your very best posts. In that little vignette you captured so eloquently what must have resonated for all of us in long term relationships. I am exactly 30 years ahead of you and there continue to be stumbles and obstacles to staying the course but the rewards are so great.
I see I am not the only one who thinks this is one of your very best posts. In that little vignette you captured so eloquently what must have resonated for all of us in long term relationships. I am exactly 30 years ahead of you and there continue to be stumbles and obstacles to staying the course but the rewards are so great.
Your photography is outstanding. Beautiful colors,always beautifully composed, charming wonderful subjects that give the essence of the town or island–all adding up to la belle France.
It is a wonderful few minutes in the day to read your beautiful stories and gaze at the photos and think of being in those places–or remember when we have been in some of them.
Thank you for the wonderful blog
Debby in West Linn, OR
Your photography is outstanding. Beautiful colors,always beautifully composed, charming wonderful subjects that give the essence of the town or island–all adding up to la belle France.
It is a wonderful few minutes in the day to read your beautiful stories and gaze at the photos and think of being in those places–or remember when we have been in some of them.
Thank you for the wonderful blog
Debby in West Linn, OR
Happy anniversary, Kristin and Jean-Marc! You two are an inspiration. Sending lots of love! xoxo
Happy anniversary, Kristin and Jean-Marc! You two are an inspiration. Sending lots of love! xoxo
Happy Anniversary to you both! How fun to be surprised after years of marriage…and yes, we have to be like those cats. xx
Happy Anniversary to you both! How fun to be surprised after years of marriage…and yes, we have to be like those cats. xx
Beautiful story! Happy, Happy Anniversary to you both, and many many more.
xoxo
Beautiful story! Happy, Happy Anniversary to you both, and many many more.
xoxo
I join all the others in wishing you both a very joyous anniversary and a life with all the sweetness and tartness that is all part and parcel of ‘tenant la route.’ David and Dayton captured my two favorite sentences from your post – just beautiful! But, the entire histoire was like looking in a mirror, it so well expressed many moments and feelings in my long, wonderful, and winding road with my dear husband, all these past 45 years! Thank you for your gift that you so beautifully share with us! Judi
I join all the others in wishing you both a very joyous anniversary and a life with all the sweetness and tartness that is all part and parcel of ‘tenant la route.’ David and Dayton captured my two favorite sentences from your post – just beautiful! But, the entire histoire was like looking in a mirror, it so well expressed many moments and feelings in my long, wonderful, and winding road with my dear husband, all these past 45 years! Thank you for your gift that you so beautifully share with us! Judi
It’s all been said in earlier comments, but I’ll just say it again: A beautiful story, and of course congratulations for staying the course!
And from my own experience I’ve realized how precious a gift it is to our children to be happy as a couple. Your daughter too, is lucky!
It’s all been said in earlier comments, but I’ll just say it again: A beautiful story, and of course congratulations for staying the course!
And from my own experience I’ve realized how precious a gift it is to our children to be happy as a couple. Your daughter too, is lucky!
I enjoyed your story. It just goes to show you it’s impossible to meddle with God’s Grand Plan .
I enjoyed your story. It just goes to show you it’s impossible to meddle with God’s Grand Plan .