Jean-Marc is reading "Mastering the Art of French Eating," by Ann Mah. Highly recommended! Order your copy here and enjoy the 5-star reviews. More about this entertaining and insightful book on France and food, very soon…
tenir la route (teuh-neer-lah-root)
: to stay the course
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Hier on a célébré 19 ans de mariage. Notre fille nous a payé un compliment: Votre couple, elle a dit, a bien tenu la route. Yesterday we celebrated 19 years of marriage. Our daughter paid us a compliment: Your relationship, she said, has stayed the course.
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A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
At a neatly-dressed table overlooking the sea, our celebratory lunch was coming to a disappointing ending. But it was hard to be annoyed at the waiter, whose gentle smile had been so kind and welcoming. I watched as he struggled to keep up with the tables during the lunch rush, and felt the growing anxiety he himself might be feeling. It seemed at any moment the new arrivals, to our left, would stand up and toss their napkins on the table, before leaving in disgust.
I had the urge to whisper to the impatient newcomers, "The waiter is not ignoring you, he is just a little overwhelmed at the moment." Instead, I minded my own business. Let life take its course has become my meditation lately. The idea is not to meddle in God's grand plan. Good things and bad things happen. It is how we steady ourselves that matters. We have simply to trust and to love.
Jean-Marc was growing weary of the wait, too. The stray cats had been a good distraction, but after watching the furry interlopers take turns patrolling beneath the tables for fallen scraps, my husband heaved a sigh of impatience. When could we finally order a cup of coffee? I could read his mind as his eyes scanned the restaurant's terrace for our waiter.
Oh no. I hoped he wouldn't voice the complaint or say something sarcastic. Not after the friendly exchanges we'd had with the waiter. But the truth was, I was losing my patience too.
"You need to grab him when he comes by…" I hinted, the curt tone in my voice giving away my own exasperation. Such "suggestions" were the story of our married life. On the one hand I complained about my husband's nerve, on the other it was I who sometimes pushed him to the front lines of confrontation. Have you heard back from the plumber? Is the telephone company going to charge us for that? Really?
I sank down a little in my seat. That everyday life could be an ongoing war was disheartening. That a moment of ingratitude could give way to a restless impatience, was even more humbling. How fortunate we are–and yet our hearts are as fragile as anyone's. These thoughts come to me after the fact. After I've melted into a pool of tears there at the bustling restaurant.
The sequence of events happened quickly. One minute we were waiting for the waiter, the next I was worrying about the impatient newcomers to our left… then the strained look on my husband's face… and the homeless cats….
And next I knew the waiter appeared, bearing a little plate of cake. I stared at the single candle on top, its flame already blown out by the breeze, despite the waiter's efforts to shield it. I noticed the spray of whipped cream that outlined the surprise cake. The sweetness hit me, suddenly, and the tears rushed up.
"Thank you!" I squeeked, and it was all I could do to keep my eyes dry until the waiter left, resuming his sprint from one table to the next.
By the time I looked over at my husband, the barrage had opened and my face was flooded with tears. Jean-Marc's thoughtful gesture had pushed me over the edge of my own edginess. It was just a little piece of cake, but it might as well have been a shimmering engagement ring (and if it were, I suddenly knew, deep down, that I would marry him all over again today on our 19th wedding anniversary).
How thoughtful he is! Try as I might, I could not stent the flow of tears. Next came the runny nose and then the heaving. I could not explain the reaction but, by all appearances, it looked as though I was mourning–instead of showing gratitude for the anniversary cake he had arranged to be delivered to me there at the table.
"I can't explain…" I said to Jean-Marc whose eyes never left mine. (I wished they would, for his concentration only intensified my emotion, causing another wave or downpour of tears.)
"It's just that …." I took a deep breath and finish my sentence, "On a quand même une très belle histoire..." It was true, we had, after all, a pretty damn good love story.
***
Later, our daughter Jackie managed to put to words what I could not. On showing her the pictures from our anniversary lunch, and sharing with her my teary reaction, she offered: "Votre couple a bien tenu la route!" Yes, our couple has stayed the course–at times an obstacle course. But we have held on for the ride.
I can't help but make a small parallel, now, when I think about those scraggly stray cats at the restaurant. How cavalier they seemed, as they strutted beneath the tables, but when so much as a strand of grated cheese fell to the ground, they lost all notion of ego or pretense and devoured the fallen scrap.
"I'm not such a toughy, after all," I said to Jean-Marc as I wiped the tears from my face back at the table. I'm not sure he fully realizes that when push comes to shove in our marriage, rather than show my sadness, the well of tears inside of me freezes into a giant shield.
After the avowal, I quickly looked away to recompose. Wrung out from the tears, I watched those proud cats, who strutted to a stop, only to scramble when a sliver of sustenance fell from the sky above. Love is sometimes the same way, appearing in scraps. And suddenly, strutting along through life, tough as nails, we are dumbstruck by our hunger.
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Bescherelle conjugation guide.
"This is without a doubt the definitive guide to conjugation of French verbs… an indispensible reference and not overwhelming for beginning students." Order it here.–M. Savoir (Amazon reviewer)
Jean-Marc bought two round trip ticket to Sardinia for 68 euros. We stayed three nights at a B&B, near Pula. (Lodging was 60 euros per night and the 3 day rental car was 100 euros… just in case you are looking for something do do when in the South of France–visit a nearby island!)
We also celebrated this occasion back in July, when we remembered our civil ceremony. See a steamy picture of that celebration, here.
Other reasons to visit Sardinia…. the flowers are so pretty this time of year…
If you love bikes you'll see plenty…
The locals sells their modest harvests….
Already mentioned the bikes, but they're worth another line….
And if you like classic motos — plenty of those!
Personally, I'm a sucker for door curtains and their flirty ruffles! Love it when the tiles peek out.
Also charming are the brochettes of Italians chatting next to the little trucks called "Apes" ("bees", in Italian).
I used to love to gaze at the sheep. Nowadays, I love to look for the shepherd!
Do these shutters speak to you, too? They come in all colors and sizes, but "natural" like this is fine by me.
Your are always celebrating your anniversary, Jackie sighs. I can understand her confusion. Our civil and religious marriage ceremonies being months apart, there is the temptation to mark the occasion when it arises in July… and again in September.
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Oh my, I must admit that I was surprised by my tears as well upon reading this. Yes, a very beautiful story indeed. Felicitations à vous deux!
Oh my, I must admit that I was surprised by my tears as well upon reading this. Yes, a very beautiful story indeed. Felicitations à vous deux!
Kristy, every once in a while you write prose that is fine as ever written, to wit:
“Rung out from the tears, I watched those proud cats, who strutted to a stop, only to scramble when a sliver of sustenance fell from the sky above. Love is sometimes the same way, appearing in scraps. And suddenly, strutting along through life, tough as nails, we are dumbstruck by our hunger.”
Kristy, every once in a while you write prose that is fine as ever written, to wit:
“Rung out from the tears, I watched those proud cats, who strutted to a stop, only to scramble when a sliver of sustenance fell from the sky above. Love is sometimes the same way, appearing in scraps. And suddenly, strutting along through life, tough as nails, we are dumbstruck by our hunger.”
I almost never comment on your posts, although I read them religiously… but this one struck a chord with me as well and brought tears to my eyes. Félicitations pour vos 19 ans de mariage ! Quelle belle histoire !
I almost never comment on your posts, although I read them religiously… but this one struck a chord with me as well and brought tears to my eyes. Félicitations pour vos 19 ans de mariage ! Quelle belle histoire !
WOW!!!
Your story today took my breath away! You are a master of words and emotions. The best part is to know you don´t make this stuff up, it just flows from your precious heart.
XOXO
MOM
WOW!!!
Your story today took my breath away! You are a master of words and emotions. The best part is to know you don´t make this stuff up, it just flows from your precious heart.
XOXO
MOM
Happy anniversary to a beautiful couple! Several years ago when we were staying in Isle-sur-la-Sorgue, the woman at the hotel who made our dinner reservation knew it was my wife’s birthday and told the restaurant. We couldn’t understand why the waiter required that we order our dessert when we ordered our entrée. My wife ordered ice cream (!!) but the restaurant was able to adorn the scoops with “Joyeux Anniversaire” in chocolate sauce. Quelle surprise!
Happy anniversary to a beautiful couple! Several years ago when we were staying in Isle-sur-la-Sorgue, the woman at the hotel who made our dinner reservation knew it was my wife’s birthday and told the restaurant. We couldn’t understand why the waiter required that we order our dessert when we ordered our entrée. My wife ordered ice cream (!!) but the restaurant was able to adorn the scoops with “Joyeux Anniversaire” in chocolate sauce. Quelle surprise!
What a lovely story ! What a lovely couple !
I wish you and your husband the best beginning – and following – for your 20th year together !
As for “to pay a compliment” we don’t say in french “payer un compliment”. It’s the same thing for “to pay a visit to sb” which we translate : “aller voir quelqu’un” .
We do say a simple verb : “complimenter” or even “féliciter” for this special occasion (wedding anniversary or any graduation).
Sorry whether I made some mistakes…
Awaiting your next “report”, I do enjoy all of them !!
What a lovely story ! What a lovely couple !
I wish you and your husband the best beginning – and following – for your 20th year together !
As for “to pay a compliment” we don’t say in french “payer un compliment”. It’s the same thing for “to pay a visit to sb” which we translate : “aller voir quelqu’un” .
We do say a simple verb : “complimenter” or even “féliciter” for this special occasion (wedding anniversary or any graduation).
Sorry whether I made some mistakes…
Awaiting your next “report”, I do enjoy all of them !!
OK, now I’m welling up, too. Thanks a lot, Kristin!
OK, now I’m welling up, too. Thanks a lot, Kristin!
Happy Anniversary Kristin and Jean-Marc! Lovely photos and sounds like a wonderful little escape!
Happy Anniversary Kristin and Jean-Marc! Lovely photos and sounds like a wonderful little escape!
Wonderful Kristin—a Very Happy Aniv’ to both of you. Love, Rina.
Wonderful Kristin—a Very Happy Aniv’ to both of you. Love, Rina.
I too teared up as I read this. Yes, une très belle histoire, I send you both best wishes on your anniversaries. Your writing gets better and better, I love reading your posts. Thanks for sharing .
I too teared up as I read this. Yes, une très belle histoire, I send you both best wishes on your anniversaries. Your writing gets better and better, I love reading your posts. Thanks for sharing .
Beautifully said ~ felt like I was speaking of myself!
Beautifully said ~ felt like I was speaking of myself!
Dear Kristi-this is one of the finest posts you have ever written. I also had tears just thinking of your struggles and accomplishments over the twenty some years living and loving in France. You and Jean Marc have created a marvelous life together. Great picture of the two of you.
Dear Kristi-this is one of the finest posts you have ever written. I also had tears just thinking of your struggles and accomplishments over the twenty some years living and loving in France. You and Jean Marc have created a marvelous life together. Great picture of the two of you.
A very Happy Anniversary, Kristin and Jean-Marc! Sardinia looks like an idyllic place to spend time together.
Sandy
A very Happy Anniversary, Kristin and Jean-Marc! Sardinia looks like an idyllic place to spend time together.
Sandy
Crying in my coffee as I read your post. My very best wishes for you and Jean-Marc …hoping for MANY more years to come. xoxo Cindy
Crying in my coffee as I read your post. My very best wishes for you and Jean-Marc …hoping for MANY more years to come. xoxo Cindy
Happy Anniversary Kristin & Jean-Marc… you all are so sweet. It’s those little surprises, that touch the heart the most, I think.
Happy Anniversary Kristin & Jean-Marc… you all are so sweet. It’s those little surprises, that touch the heart the most, I think.
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary. Thank you for sharing this day. Yes, you have stayed the course. True abiding love.
Mary
Happy Anniversary. Thank you for sharing this day. Yes, you have stayed the course. True abiding love.
Mary
Felicitations and congratulations, you are both an inspiring example of how to live life well ! Thank you for telling us your beautiful story! Marriage is definitely a lot of work, but you make it sound like the wonderful adventure it can be by sharing your insightful and sensitive observations.
Many years of continued love , travels, and happiness to you and the Chief!
xox Suzanne
Felicitations and congratulations, you are both an inspiring example of how to live life well ! Thank you for telling us your beautiful story! Marriage is definitely a lot of work, but you make it sound like the wonderful adventure it can be by sharing your insightful and sensitive observations.
Many years of continued love , travels, and happiness to you and the Chief!
xox Suzanne
This post today really touched me. That piece of cake with the candle, already out. And the hungry cats! I just went down stairs and gave my three girls more kitty food and extra kisses. I absolutely enjoy your site. Congratulations on your19 years together! Magnifique!
This post today really touched me. That piece of cake with the candle, already out. And the hungry cats! I just went down stairs and gave my three girls more kitty food and extra kisses. I absolutely enjoy your site. Congratulations on your19 years together! Magnifique!
Yes, indeed, one of your very best posts ever. I was unable to see the text in the last two paragraphs until I wiped away my own tears. They just came up out of nowhere! Now, that’s some darn good writing.
Yes, indeed, one of your very best posts ever. I was unable to see the text in the last two paragraphs until I wiped away my own tears. They just came up out of nowhere! Now, that’s some darn good writing.
Congratulations!! Happy Anniversary! Hoping you have many more years together.
Congratulations!! Happy Anniversary! Hoping you have many more years together.
Happy anniversary to a wonderful couple. What a great story and the cake ordered by Jean-Marc…how touching.
Love the pictures and keep writing.
I saw your article in France Today. Another venue for you. Congratulations!
Kathleen
Happy anniversary to a wonderful couple. What a great story and the cake ordered by Jean-Marc…how touching.
Love the pictures and keep writing.
I saw your article in France Today. Another venue for you. Congratulations!
Kathleen
Dear Kristin and Jena-Marc, Happyhappyhappy anniversary, may you continue to grow more and more in love with each other over the years…..! What a wonderful example of wisdom and grace for your children and all of us who are privileged to know you through your sharing missives. xoxo
Dear Kristin and Jena-Marc, Happyhappyhappy anniversary, may you continue to grow more and more in love with each other over the years…..! What a wonderful example of wisdom and grace for your children and all of us who are privileged to know you through your sharing missives. xoxo
Hi, Kristin and Jean-Marc! Congratulations on having held the road. A lovely story, as always, with the usual charming pictures.
A quick note on the word “apes” (bees) for the food trucks. The ubiquitous scooters are called Vespas (“wasps”) for much the same reason. But the Vespa itself is only one model in a line of scooters from Piaggio. The word is like Kleenex or Xerox: a brand name that became generic.
Hi, Kristin and Jean-Marc! Congratulations on having held the road. A lovely story, as always, with the usual charming pictures.
A quick note on the word “apes” (bees) for the food trucks. The ubiquitous scooters are called Vespas (“wasps”) for much the same reason. But the Vespa itself is only one model in a line of scooters from Piaggio. The word is like Kleenex or Xerox: a brand name that became generic.
Your words, so beautifully real, brought tears to my eyes, as well, because I did not “stay the course”. It’s been 42 years since my divorce, from the father of my children. He has mellowed and is now my best defender and comrade. His wife is good for him, but I regret my decision every day and cry, as well. My best wishes for your next 19 years!
Your words, so beautifully real, brought tears to my eyes, as well, because I did not “stay the course”. It’s been 42 years since my divorce, from the father of my children. He has mellowed and is now my best defender and comrade. His wife is good for him, but I regret my decision every day and cry, as well. My best wishes for your next 19 years!