Where is the mind located and do our thoughts really have substance–as scientists have observed? They say our thoughts can control our pain levels and more. I believe this, having used mind over matter while receiving several shots during skin cancer removal. Now if I could only train other parts of my brain–especially the emotional parts. Note: the fur, above, is fake. I'm wearing my daughter's vest.
la pensée (pahn-say)
: thought
perdu dans ses pensées = lost in thought
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
by Kristin Espinasse
A Beautiful Mind
In an ancient outdoor amphitheatre, while watching Lillywood and the $@#&! bring down the house, I stood up, kissed our friends goodbye, and stormed out of the concert.
Making my way through the maze of Arles, trying to find our car, I looked over my shoulder again and again to see Jean-Marc lagging behind me. "Why don't you catch up!" I snapped.
(Before being labelled the castrating wife, let me share this: I'm currently working on a monumental task… the outstanding effort of retraining of a brain (my own). And what you witnessed in paragraphs one and two, was yet another discouraging backslip! )
It is disheartening to lose ground on the path of self-improvement. But it gives me hope to know that a positive rewiring of the cerveau is not as impossible as it seems. By taking every thought captive, we can begin the task of replacing our negative thoughts with positive ones–and so forge a new path of positivity.
My goal is to be more flexible. To go with the flow. To be easygoing. To say "No bother. Things change! AND CHANGE IS GOOD!"
But it's a one-step forward deux en arrier process–this thought replacement business. Step one is to examine my troubled thinking: what frustrated me last night–what had me steaming out of Arles, my husband in my wake, was something I'll call "The Let Down Factor"–my body was reeling with it!
The Let Down Factor has to do with suffering. In a nutshell it's this: you are voluntarily engaged in an uncomfortable chore, one that has a start time and an end time. For this reason, you agree to suffer the task–knowing it is pleasing (and or helpful) to someone else, though painful to you. You can struggle through the task because you can "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and, so seeing, you set your heart and your mind on the bright light–while ignoring the inconvenience. Like this you can confidently suffer the moment knowing how long that moment will last.
The Let Down Factor occurs when the light at the end of the tunnel fades to darkness. This happens when the "stop time" is renegotiated (the "moment" is stretched) by a second party, causing you to lose sight of the destination (or "Pain's End"). Here is a classic example:
Harvest Time. The Let Down Factor is a given when you agree to help a friend or family member with the grueling task of grape-picking. You begin naively enough setting your mind to the task, ignoring the sweaty droplets running down your face and the sticky scratchy weeds scraping your skin. You hold your bladder, knowing at break time you'll be back at the farmhouse with its private throne.
"We'll break at the end of this row," the winemaker says.
"Yes!" your brain responds, beginning the let down process: letting down its guard, letting the dulled senses awaken (you now feel the scratchy weeds, the annoying sweaty droplets–and that nagging need for which you'll soon find relief! You don't mind the pain because break time is coming up, as promised!)
…And then La Grosse Deception. The Big Disappointment.
"We're so close…" the winemaker says, changing his mind (and your destiny). "We may as well finish these last two rows!"
Amazed, you look up at the never-ending vine horizon, the scratchy weeds circle around your knees, and the sweat slips into your eyes, stinging them. And you can't hold it anymore! Panic sets in. Your mind paints a bleak, humiliating conclusion to this story. Whereas a moment ago you were numb to the environment, suddenly all your senses are alive and kicking–ready to get the heck out of the Godforsaken grapefield. Alas, it's not gonna happen!
Enter The Let Down Factor, or Extreme Disappointment
Had you known the true "stop time" (end of task or effort) you would have remained in your "buffered zone", keeping your pain under the hood of your physical engine. Instead, you let down your guard and in rushed the sensory torture.
So how does all this tie in to a wonderful concert in an ancient ampitheatre in Arles?
Faulty baffles, for one. The speakers pounded across the outdoor arena, up the thick stone slabs on which we were seated, and into our chest cavities!
"I don't like it when I can feel it booming in my poitrine!" my friend Emilie remarked.
She was right. It felt as though every organ in my body was bathed in the liquid pounding vibration.
I looked over to Jean-Marc, who had his hands over his ears (this somewhat reassured me. I wasn't a wuss after all–the music really was too loud!)
"C'est saturé," another friend complained of the sound. "Oui," Jean-Marc agreed, getting up twice to have a word with the technical crew, but the ear- and organ-busting beat continued. Unwilling to let it spoil his evening, my husband searched for a solution. Leaving his seat near the speakers, he disappeared….
But not before our friends began talking of leaving a little earlier than planned. Such a reasonable idea of theirs, I thought, to wait for the last band, and then enjoy a few songs before leaving. The thought perked me right up, knowing we, too, could soon be leaving. My motivation was renewed with the fixed destination in my mind. (I could almost feel myself crawling under the cozy covers back home–my ears filled with soft cricket sound and not this horrible pounding!)
What a good idea! I thought, beginning to set my hopes on the near future. "Do you mind if we leave a little early too?" I asked Jean-Marc.
Jean-Marc didn't mind, and I was thankful for the sacrifice he made. Only, come to think of it, he hadn't made it yet. In fact, where had he just skipped off to?
Surely he'd be back, as promised, after the 2 or 3 song limit. He'd promised. But when the second song finished…and the third… my thoughts began to reel and that Let Down Factor began wreaking havoc on my mind:
You're going to arrive home at three in the morning. Have the dogs been fed? You've got to get up early. You won't be able to work with a late-to-bed hangover!
My thoughts were interrupted when my friend Isabelle reached over to kiss me. "See you later! We're leaving." All three songs were up, the others were following through with the plan–that same plan I had set in my own heart in order to endure. But now those speakers and the late night was getting to me. The light at the end of the tunnel had been dimmed. When would we be leaving now? The unknowing made the moment hard to bear.
Looking around, I noticed everyone else was relaxed and having a good time. Why couldn't I be the same? Maybe all that beer they were serving helped dull the audiences' senses–while waking their energy. Maybe after ten years, now was a good time for a drink?
My frustration began to grow and grow.Ce malin! That sneaky one! Jean-Marc had approached the stage where the sound was equalized. That meant we wouldn't be leaving after "two or three" songs!
And yet, after the fourth song Jean-Marc reappeared–but by then I was standing up with my bag under my arm. I kissed those friends that were staying for the end of the concert, and motioned to my husband that we were on our way out!
"No, it wasn't the one or two extra songs that bothered me," I argued, trying to find where our car was parked. "It's that I was set on leaving at the promised time. Not knowing where you were or when you'd return was extremely frustrating. We might have stayed all night!"
Adding to my annoyance was my husband's gentle swaying. He'd enjoyed a few drinks over the course of the night and his relaxation was at odds with my frayed nerves.
It hit me then. I didn't have to go on suffering that way. I could change my thoughts and in changing my thinking I could be at peace.
"I feel bad you didn't get to see the whole concert," I admitted. (Stumbling through Arles, I was now following Jean-Marc, who, tipsy, could find our way 1000s times better than his sober wife, who was lost again and again.)
"Don't worry about it. It all turned out well." My husband's words were soft.
"I'm just not a night person," I explained. "And I don't like it when plans change." Listening to myself talk, I heard the familiar self-limiting beliefs. But it wasn't too late to change… I could alter my thinking and expand my limits. I could once and for all enjoy the moment–or at least allow someone else too!
"It was such a chance to be there tonight, in an ancient outdoor theater. I'm glad we got to hear the last band." Seated in the car now, I reached over to touch my husband's leg and continued the positive affirmations:
"Thanks for such a beautiful evening…." I whispered, and on saying it, I began to feel the gratitude that was first born in my mind. Thoughts really do manifest.
***
Comments and post note: I continue to retrain my brain after a lifetime of limiting thoughts. I hope to talk more about the subject of rebuilding the brain or neuroplasticity. Let me know your thoughts, here in the comments box. Can you relate to the "Let Down Factor"?
French Vocabulary
le cerveau = brain
deux en arrière = two back
le baffle = speakers
la poitrine = chest
Last night's concert in Arles. Thank you, Pierre Casanova, for this photo I stole from your Facebook page. And thanks for a great evening with friends, beginning at Ariane's Natural Wine bar and ending at an ancient Roman theater.
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Today’s post brings to mind the value in understanding personality preferences….known as Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Although a complicated theory which requires certification in order to administer and explain the process, the basic information can be easily understood. There are terrific book resources to reference MBTI, but there are also some Internet sites that are informative.
Understanding our individual type preferences and those of others can offer tremendous insight into our cognitive processes and how we function in the world. The MBTI. org website is probably the most “official” site but Google will bring up others that give fairly thorough explanations.
MBTI can take a person on an amazing journey in self-discovery if one is open to such a concept. I have worked with MBTI for 20 years, many of which have been illuminated by those light bulb moments students experienced. Understanding our comfort zones and learning to function outside those comfort zones can lead to great personal growth.
Once again, Kristin, you have touched the hearts and minds of your readers in a significant way. Thank you…
Today’s post brings to mind the value in understanding personality preferences….known as Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Although a complicated theory which requires certification in order to administer and explain the process, the basic information can be easily understood. There are terrific book resources to reference MBTI, but there are also some Internet sites that are informative.
Understanding our individual type preferences and those of others can offer tremendous insight into our cognitive processes and how we function in the world. The MBTI. org website is probably the most “official” site but Google will bring up others that give fairly thorough explanations.
MBTI can take a person on an amazing journey in self-discovery if one is open to such a concept. I have worked with MBTI for 20 years, many of which have been illuminated by those light bulb moments students experienced. Understanding our comfort zones and learning to function outside those comfort zones can lead to great personal growth.
Once again, Kristin, you have touched the hearts and minds of your readers in a significant way. Thank you…
I do understand more your response of “kind of” now!
As usual, I am deeply moved by your writing. I save your posts for when I can actually “read” them and so am just seeing this today. Remi called me in to lunch just as I had finished and I admit I had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying while we ate! I think it is your vulnerability that moves me so much. And there is much bravery in that and now I see that there is much bravery behind your bravery. I offer belatedly my heart felt congratulations on your ten year anniversary.
As for “the let down” theory–holy cow! You explained something to me that could really be of help. Truly! I can’t tell you how much it drives me crazy when Remi will casually add “Oh, let’s just do this one last thing” on top of a long day. It happens all the time and I get so worked up! The next time, I will know why. 🙂
There is a book that I need to reread: “Destructive emotions: a scientific dialogue with the Dalai Lama” by Daniel Goleman. Do you know of it? It might be helpful. I also have been gaining so much by listening to Krista Tippett’s “On being” podcasts and the writings of Pema Chodron–especially her idea to “drop the storyline” which is similar to what one of your other readers mentioned above.
Have a wonderful weekend and I hope that your next visit to my town will be a more pleasant one!
I do understand more your response of “kind of” now!
As usual, I am deeply moved by your writing. I save your posts for when I can actually “read” them and so am just seeing this today. Remi called me in to lunch just as I had finished and I admit I had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying while we ate! I think it is your vulnerability that moves me so much. And there is much bravery in that and now I see that there is much bravery behind your bravery. I offer belatedly my heart felt congratulations on your ten year anniversary.
As for “the let down” theory–holy cow! You explained something to me that could really be of help. Truly! I can’t tell you how much it drives me crazy when Remi will casually add “Oh, let’s just do this one last thing” on top of a long day. It happens all the time and I get so worked up! The next time, I will know why. 🙂
There is a book that I need to reread: “Destructive emotions: a scientific dialogue with the Dalai Lama” by Daniel Goleman. Do you know of it? It might be helpful. I also have been gaining so much by listening to Krista Tippett’s “On being” podcasts and the writings of Pema Chodron–especially her idea to “drop the storyline” which is similar to what one of your other readers mentioned above.
Have a wonderful weekend and I hope that your next visit to my town will be a more pleasant one!
Somehow I would have thought that living where you do, the hazards of a rock concert in Arles would be well known and you and J-M could have developed a game plan before that night. At any rate, I think Jules has the right idea about dealing with stress. Politely excuse yourself and take a hike. Life is too short to endure that much pain. Let others stay if they choose, but get an agreement in advance that it’s o.k. to leave when your limit has been reached.
Compromise is a wonderful thing and keeps us from a lot of unpleasantness in life.
Somehow I would have thought that living where you do, the hazards of a rock concert in Arles would be well known and you and J-M could have developed a game plan before that night. At any rate, I think Jules has the right idea about dealing with stress. Politely excuse yourself and take a hike. Life is too short to endure that much pain. Let others stay if they choose, but get an agreement in advance that it’s o.k. to leave when your limit has been reached.
Compromise is a wonderful thing and keeps us from a lot of unpleasantness in life.
I am glad to know there are others out there whom I admire (Kristin!) who, like me, don’t get pleasure out of over-loud music and would prefer a quite night at home! I will use your thought-manipulating techniquest next time I am “stuck” at a social event and not thoroughly enjoying the moment, and realize how lucky I am to have such leisure time and the means to have a choice whether to go out or stay home. I can at least be grateful for that! Gratitude seems to be the key to changing those thoughts and perspectives.
I am glad to know there are others out there whom I admire (Kristin!) who, like me, don’t get pleasure out of over-loud music and would prefer a quite night at home! I will use your thought-manipulating techniquest next time I am “stuck” at a social event and not thoroughly enjoying the moment, and realize how lucky I am to have such leisure time and the means to have a choice whether to go out or stay home. I can at least be grateful for that! Gratitude seems to be the key to changing those thoughts and perspectives.
I see you have received so many solid comments about changing your thinking. Perhaps it would be better titled, ‘speaking up for yourself’. Trust that you were right in your feelings and the way the music sounded! It was up to JM to be a bit more sensitive and leave when you have had enough. You have extended yourself beyond so many difficult and long lasting jobs. I am working along with you to find a nice but firm way to say ‘enough is enough’! Bless you for all your wonderful writing and sharing!
I see you have received so many solid comments about changing your thinking. Perhaps it would be better titled, ‘speaking up for yourself’. Trust that you were right in your feelings and the way the music sounded! It was up to JM to be a bit more sensitive and leave when you have had enough. You have extended yourself beyond so many difficult and long lasting jobs. I am working along with you to find a nice but firm way to say ‘enough is enough’! Bless you for all your wonderful writing and sharing!
This is for Jean-Marc: You are the one who should have apologized to Kristen-and told her you were sorry for spoiling her evening. What kind of a cad leaves his wife sitting with a group of friends–knowing the loud music bothers her, she isn’t drinking, and she wants go get home at a decent hour–and you go off to snort a few drinks, without saying where you are going or when you will be back–and then comding back late when you said you would leave before it was over. You are the one who should think about changing your ways! (Kristen; Don’t be such a Pollyanna and change every negative into a positive. Assert yourself–in a nice way, of course,
since the male ego is so fragile.)
Carol, Los Angeles (married 57 years)
This is for Jean-Marc: You are the one who should have apologized to Kristen-and told her you were sorry for spoiling her evening. What kind of a cad leaves his wife sitting with a group of friends–knowing the loud music bothers her, she isn’t drinking, and she wants go get home at a decent hour–and you go off to snort a few drinks, without saying where you are going or when you will be back–and then comding back late when you said you would leave before it was over. You are the one who should think about changing your ways! (Kristen; Don’t be such a Pollyanna and change every negative into a positive. Assert yourself–in a nice way, of course,
since the male ego is so fragile.)
Carol, Los Angeles (married 57 years)
MY DARLING PRECIOUS FRIENDS HERE IN THE COMMENT BOX,
Somehow I started to become irriatated (sp? – gosh, I haven’t used that word in a long time) after I read Carol’s comment above regarding my SON JEAN-MARC’S behavior at the concert.
Sometimes I fall for Kristi’s storyline in a negative way – she has been telling stories for over 40 years to me so I am qualified to openly judge her creativity in an honest and motherly way.
Kristi’s musings of her take on life are just that – musings. Kristi is on her own path and thank God she is addressing some of the area’s in her life that she allows to bring her pain.
But – I just CAN NOT allow this JEAN-MARC BASHING TO CONTINUE. This exercise in self improvement that Kristi brings out every once in a while is strictly about her – not about Jean-Marc. I have had to straighten Kristi out many times about bringing me or Jean-Marc into the mix of her mash-a-nations (sp???) regarding her ‘state-of-mind’ —just try to remember the crap Kristi dishes out to me when I want to say hello to a stranger working in their garden. This in Kristi’s mind is uncomfortable for her to endure – my God, what if they want to come back over to our house and hang over our fence….and on and on it goes.
Kristi carries alot of power on this unproductive trip she has been on in the past – and I am delighted that she is working through to find the sunshine on the otherside – but along the way there are going to be casualities, and Jean-Marc and I must stick together….so that’s why I am ranting this morning.
I could write a story about JM and his experience regarding “The Concert’ – but fortunately JM doesn’t have an evil adgenda when he tries to bring Kristi out into the world of the living instead of letting her rot away in her overactive story-tellers mind.
Well – I guess I’ll be on everybodys ‘Shit List’ after this –
Viva la Jean-Marc!!!!
XOXO
JULES
MY DARLING PRECIOUS FRIENDS HERE IN THE COMMENT BOX,
Somehow I started to become irriatated (sp? – gosh, I haven’t used that word in a long time) after I read Carol’s comment above regarding my SON JEAN-MARC’S behavior at the concert.
Sometimes I fall for Kristi’s storyline in a negative way – she has been telling stories for over 40 years to me so I am qualified to openly judge her creativity in an honest and motherly way.
Kristi’s musings of her take on life are just that – musings. Kristi is on her own path and thank God she is addressing some of the area’s in her life that she allows to bring her pain.
But – I just CAN NOT allow this JEAN-MARC BASHING TO CONTINUE. This exercise in self improvement that Kristi brings out every once in a while is strictly about her – not about Jean-Marc. I have had to straighten Kristi out many times about bringing me or Jean-Marc into the mix of her mash-a-nations (sp???) regarding her ‘state-of-mind’ —just try to remember the crap Kristi dishes out to me when I want to say hello to a stranger working in their garden. This in Kristi’s mind is uncomfortable for her to endure – my God, what if they want to come back over to our house and hang over our fence….and on and on it goes.
Kristi carries alot of power on this unproductive trip she has been on in the past – and I am delighted that she is working through to find the sunshine on the otherside – but along the way there are going to be casualities, and Jean-Marc and I must stick together….so that’s why I am ranting this morning.
I could write a story about JM and his experience regarding “The Concert’ – but fortunately JM doesn’t have an evil adgenda when he tries to bring Kristi out into the world of the living instead of letting her rot away in her overactive story-tellers mind.
Well – I guess I’ll be on everybodys ‘Shit List’ after this –
Viva la Jean-Marc!!!!
XOXO
JULES
I Am late in commenting .. ah well! Science has now shown through the fabulous use of new technology that our thoughts set off chemical pathways with in our body. ie If we think a negative thought (similar to a negative thought that has gone before), then our body reacts in the same way..probably a stressed response. We change that thought, we flip the negative to the positive , more often than not, then our brain is capable of creating a new pathway , and a healthy response.. This is a brief and very limited version of how it happens … but it does happen.. so change the negative to the positive , as much as you can, and you will be healthier for it! x
I Am late in commenting .. ah well! Science has now shown through the fabulous use of new technology that our thoughts set off chemical pathways with in our body. ie If we think a negative thought (similar to a negative thought that has gone before), then our body reacts in the same way..probably a stressed response. We change that thought, we flip the negative to the positive , more often than not, then our brain is capable of creating a new pathway , and a healthy response.. This is a brief and very limited version of how it happens … but it does happen.. so change the negative to the positive , as much as you can, and you will be healthier for it! x
To me it sounded a bit harsh when Jules wrote that Kristin, if left to her own devices, would “rot away in her overactive story-tellers mind”. Ouch! Have you heard of the book ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain? It makes the argument that quiet and reflective people have so much to offer the world, and that we (I’m quiet too, the concert sounds like an ordeal to me) are often undervalued and made to feel somehow lacking by a world that values outgoing extroverts. I think it would be well worth having a look at this book, Kristin, it might help you to not feel that you must change your very lovely quiet and reflective nature to become more like your outgoing, social butterfly Mom. Then maybe pass it along to your mom and husband, to help them understand the needs and strengths of quiet-loving, reflective people and maybe ask themselves whether they really should push you to get out there and be more social. And Jules, Kristin asked people to offer their thoughts.
To me it sounded a bit harsh when Jules wrote that Kristin, if left to her own devices, would “rot away in her overactive story-tellers mind”. Ouch! Have you heard of the book ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain? It makes the argument that quiet and reflective people have so much to offer the world, and that we (I’m quiet too, the concert sounds like an ordeal to me) are often undervalued and made to feel somehow lacking by a world that values outgoing extroverts. I think it would be well worth having a look at this book, Kristin, it might help you to not feel that you must change your very lovely quiet and reflective nature to become more like your outgoing, social butterfly Mom. Then maybe pass it along to your mom and husband, to help them understand the needs and strengths of quiet-loving, reflective people and maybe ask themselves whether they really should push you to get out there and be more social. And Jules, Kristin asked people to offer their thoughts.
Another book recommendation
The Introvert Advantage…..How to Thrive in an Extrovert World
by Marti Olsen Laney
Worth a look by both Introverts and Extraverts~
Another book recommendation
The Introvert Advantage…..How to Thrive in an Extrovert World
by Marti Olsen Laney
Worth a look by both Introverts and Extraverts~
Kristin, You are such a beautiful person and crystal clear…there’s no doubt in my mind that you are getting better and better, more beautiful inside and out as you grow older…like a fine wine. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We love you just the way you are…ever believing in what’s beautiful and best in yourself and others.
Kristin, You are such a beautiful person and crystal clear…there’s no doubt in my mind that you are getting better and better, more beautiful inside and out as you grow older…like a fine wine. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We love you just the way you are…ever believing in what’s beautiful and best in yourself and others.
“I could write a story about JM and his experience regarding “The Concert’ – but fortunately JM doesn’t have an evil adgenda when he tries to bring Kristi out into the world of the living instead of letting her rot away in her overactive story-tellers mind.”
Wow. Jules, you are Kristin’s mother? And this is how you write about her – letting her rot away in her overactive, evil agenda, story-teller’s mind? You are actually more interested in defending JM instead of acknowledging that he could have handled this situation better?
Sure, we don’t really know the truth of what goes on in any marriage, and no one is ever fully without fault, or fully at fault – but you’ve completely thrown your DAUGHTER under the bus here, setting her up as some sort of delusional, out-of-touch, exaggerating, mental case.
My opinion of Kristin has not change, but my opinion of you certainly has. Kristin, I’m sorry that you’re mother has decided to share this with the world.
“I could write a story about JM and his experience regarding “The Concert’ – but fortunately JM doesn’t have an evil adgenda when he tries to bring Kristi out into the world of the living instead of letting her rot away in her overactive story-tellers mind.”
Wow. Jules, you are Kristin’s mother? And this is how you write about her – letting her rot away in her overactive, evil agenda, story-teller’s mind? You are actually more interested in defending JM instead of acknowledging that he could have handled this situation better?
Sure, we don’t really know the truth of what goes on in any marriage, and no one is ever fully without fault, or fully at fault – but you’ve completely thrown your DAUGHTER under the bus here, setting her up as some sort of delusional, out-of-touch, exaggerating, mental case.
My opinion of Kristin has not change, but my opinion of you certainly has. Kristin, I’m sorry that you’re mother has decided to share this with the world.
Hi. I’m a little baffled. I just started reading your blog. Your posting is heartfelt and very personal. I assume that your husband knows what you post and understands what you write and why you write it. So what’s up with the person claiming to be your mother?
Hi. I’m a little baffled. I just started reading your blog. Your posting is heartfelt and very personal. I assume that your husband knows what you post and understands what you write and why you write it. So what’s up with the person claiming to be your mother?
Kristi here… Tip-toeing in to wave a white flag. Thank you all for reading my stories and special thanks to my family for allowing me to write about them. My Mom is my biggest fan and she enjoys responding to the stories, here in the comments. Her colorful, heartfelt remarks often add another dimension to the anecdotes–and this time was certainly no exception! I feel badly reading some of these comments, knowing my familys deep love and support has been questionned. In writing these stories my intent is to share what I trust are universal truths in these complex relationships we share. Without the love and support of my husband and my Mom, I would not be able to do what I love doing. Thank you for reading these essays and for your support. P.S. Mom, you will be proud of me: instead of rotting in front of the computer screen, I accepted Jean-Marcs invitation for a swim in the sea. Refreshed now, my mind is clear to continue with the next story. Just as youve always encouraged me to do: take breaks, a change of scenery… And your stories will come to life.
Kristi here… Tip-toeing in to wave a white flag. Thank you all for reading my stories and special thanks to my family for allowing me to write about them. My Mom is my biggest fan and she enjoys responding to the stories, here in the comments. Her colorful, heartfelt remarks often add another dimension to the anecdotes–and this time was certainly no exception! I feel badly reading some of these comments, knowing my familys deep love and support has been questionned. In writing these stories my intent is to share what I trust are universal truths in these complex relationships we share. Without the love and support of my husband and my Mom, I would not be able to do what I love doing. Thank you for reading these essays and for your support. P.S. Mom, you will be proud of me: instead of rotting in front of the computer screen, I accepted Jean-Marcs invitation for a swim in the sea. Refreshed now, my mind is clear to continue with the next story. Just as youve always encouraged me to do: take breaks, a change of scenery… And your stories will come to life.
It seems to me that Kristen is “out going” and “social”.. What about all those dinner parties?!
It seems to me that Kristen is “out going” and “social”.. What about all those dinner parties?!
Sorry I irritated you, Jules! From reading Kristen’s blog for several years I get the feeling that Jean-Mark is a super person, that you are, too, and that you all love each other and get along…and that you all feel pretty confident about speaking your mind to each other, which is a good thing.
But when I read Kristen’s account of the evening, I was on her side all the way. I would have been livid, and would have let my feeling be known the minute we left. Then the air would be cleared and nothing swept under the rug.
(Jules– I like people who speak their mind–I didn;t take all that “rotting in front of a computer” too seriously.)
Sorry I irritated you, Jules! From reading Kristen’s blog for several years I get the feeling that Jean-Mark is a super person, that you are, too, and that you all love each other and get along…and that you all feel pretty confident about speaking your mind to each other, which is a good thing.
But when I read Kristen’s account of the evening, I was on her side all the way. I would have been livid, and would have let my feeling be known the minute we left. Then the air would be cleared and nothing swept under the rug.
(Jules– I like people who speak their mind–I didn;t take all that “rotting in front of a computer” too seriously.)
Wow, talk about opening a can of worms. First let me say that my admiration for both Kristi and her writing and her Mom are right up there at the very top of the list. And I think I would include JM’s persona in there too. The story of the night’s frustration was a treat. Especially for all of us who like to avoid those kinds of events. But to respond with such anger is beyond me. It was one event in a life time of stories and the fun of sharing La Vie Espinasse is unbeatable. Come-on, you fellow fans, accept the oops-es with the yeah’s. Kristi is a growing and inspiring writer. God Bless her and thanks. The swim story proves it. The book when it comes out will be a winner.
How is Jackie’s American experience going. Want to hear more!!!
Wow, talk about opening a can of worms. First let me say that my admiration for both Kristi and her writing and her Mom are right up there at the very top of the list. And I think I would include JM’s persona in there too. The story of the night’s frustration was a treat. Especially for all of us who like to avoid those kinds of events. But to respond with such anger is beyond me. It was one event in a life time of stories and the fun of sharing La Vie Espinasse is unbeatable. Come-on, you fellow fans, accept the oops-es with the yeah’s. Kristi is a growing and inspiring writer. God Bless her and thanks. The swim story proves it. The book when it comes out will be a winner.
How is Jackie’s American experience going. Want to hear more!!!
Please keep it up, Kristi, Jean-Marc, and Jules. It is disturbing that some readers express such strong opinions on who is right, wrong, crazy, whatever. I enjoy your writing because you do get into the “universal truths in these complex relationships we share” (your words). Exactly! Life isn’t smooth, it’s the sharing of the hills and valleys we experience which make us human.
Please keep it up, Kristi, Jean-Marc, and Jules. It is disturbing that some readers express such strong opinions on who is right, wrong, crazy, whatever. I enjoy your writing because you do get into the “universal truths in these complex relationships we share” (your words). Exactly! Life isn’t smooth, it’s the sharing of the hills and valleys we experience which make us human.
Dear Marie D.
Each day following your above comment I have come back to try to understand what you were saying about me. I have come to the conclusion that you are that little girl at the end of the circle when secrets have been passed around in a game by the campfire. You have placed my comment about ‘evil adgenda’ in the wrong part of the story. Grow up! …and play this game of life with some intelligence and integrity.
Sincerely,
Jules
Dear Marie D.
Each day following your above comment I have come back to try to understand what you were saying about me. I have come to the conclusion that you are that little girl at the end of the circle when secrets have been passed around in a game by the campfire. You have placed my comment about ‘evil adgenda’ in the wrong part of the story. Grow up! …and play this game of life with some intelligence and integrity.
Sincerely,
Jules
I was doing a Google search for someone else, and it let me back to you Kristi. (The person commented on this post, small world). Somehow I had missed this post! I am laughing to myself, because I see myself in both you and Jules!~ Jules I am a full supporter of your nap methodology! And Kristin, I too worry about conversations and the implications they may bring….my husband is the opposite! Love. love , love this post. I have been reading your writings for , what almost 13 years now? Absolutely loved this!
I was doing a Google search for someone else, and it let me back to you Kristi. (The person commented on this post, small world). Somehow I had missed this post! I am laughing to myself, because I see myself in both you and Jules!~ Jules I am a full supporter of your nap methodology! And Kristin, I too worry about conversations and the implications they may bring….my husband is the opposite! Love. love , love this post. I have been reading your writings for , what almost 13 years now? Absolutely loved this!
Your story is so great for making one change their thoughts, and improving their life. I know exactly how you felt and I feel that way many times. Now I have a way out, thanks to you.
Your story is so great for making one change their thoughts, and improving their life. I know exactly how you felt and I feel that way many times. Now I have a way out, thanks to you.