I stumbled across this photo this morning. I think it speaks volumes after today's story, which is dedicated to my husband.
Today's word is an expression: l'enjeu est grand
: the stakes are high (there is a lot at risk)
Audio File: listen to me say this phrase Download MP3 or Wav
Je ne sais pas quoi faire. L'enjeu est grand.
I don't know what to do. The stakes are high.
All kinds of "steaks" or "enjeu" expression here, if you are looking to improve your French. If you are looking to relate to life… then please read my story, below. It's a follow up about the memoir I would like to write…
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
Do not allow yourself to get excited by what is said about you. Let the world talk. —Fenelon
Jean-Marc and I are lying on our backs in the dark. It is 5 in the morning and I've had insomnia for the first time in years. My mind is spinning after the recent revelations I have shared on my blog. But no matter the positive reception, no matter the encouragements, I can't help but fear what's coming next—if I go ahead with plans with this tell-all memoir.
The thought sends chills and I pull up the covers. "I feel hungover," I joke, turning to my husband. But just like the aftermath of a drinking spree, will I regret being so loose with my story? So much has already come out, in the previous posts. The sharing of my sobriety is detoxifying. There are cold sweats and headaches now, ten years after my last drink.
Jean-Marc laughs. "It's all that pastis you swallowed last night!" As he shifts beneath the covers, pockets of warmth are freed, enveloping me. With the warmth, comes a sense of security. It seems safe to broach a subject that is bothering me.
"There are a couple chapters we need to talk about…" I begin. Though I have gone over the sensitive material many times in my mind, I forget that Jean-Marc is hearing the chapter outline for the first time. So busy spitting out the controversial details, I am unaware of the growing silence in the room.
"If I could just get past these chapters," I conclude, "I think I can tell the rest of my story."
Jean-Marc turns over, his back is now to me. In 19 years of marriage, such body language is easier than French to interpret.
I quietly get up to make our tea, realizing that my number one supporter may no longer be able to cheer me to the finish line. Without him, I will not make it past chapter one. I won't even want to.
Stopping at the bathroom sink, I splash water on my face. Looking into the little mirror, I see scars all over: a huge "H" on my forehead, an "L" down my nose. Stitch, stitch, stitch. The latest one, a dent near the tip of my nose, tells of ongoing struggles.
Damn it! I think, shutting off the tap. He's still mad at me. But haven't I paid for my past follies? If my squeaky-clean daily living wasn't enough, I'd coped with skin cancer in the last year and a half. It is as though the recovery work that began in me a decade ago continues to push up "toxins"—to the very surface of my skin!
Climbing back into bed with the hot mugs, I hand Jean-Marc his tea, setting mine down on the nightstand beside a stack of notebooks. Slipping under the covers I still feel the chill in the air. I ask Jean-Marc what he is thinking.
"About a lot of things…" My husband's words feel condemning.
But what did I expect? I deserve the cold shoulder—I have put him through a lot. I will continue to pay penance for my actions, not because he asks me to—but because I need to! I will bring Jean-Marc his morning tea… I will write my stories, always focusing on the good things… I will wear sunscreen!
"Listen," I say, defensively. "I don't have to write this book. I can stop now, call it quits after those two chapters. I have received several notes… readers telling me that because of my coming clean, they are finally going to quit drinking. If writing those chapters has helped someone, it has been worth it. I need not go any farther!"
"But this book," I continue, "is not about drinking. As for the chapters I have just told you about, I don't have to include them. I can just omit the information and the story will be: "I got drunk, I fell down, I got sober, I started a blog, became an author, moved to a winery! stayed sober through that, and skin cancer—and lived happily ever after!
Re the controversial parts, I can drag myself over the coals sharing all my faults and revealing all my transgressions. And YOU can be the hero at the end of every episode, cheering me on and on!
But by not sharing the whole story, my behavior—recounted across those revelatory pages—won't make a lot of sense! All the colorful exploits will be taken out of context. Either I tell the whole story, or quit now.
The look on Jean-Marc's face tells me he's coming round… but just in case, I assure him:
Yes, I can just stick to blog-writing and keep typing these skipping-through-lavender-fields lighthearted anecdotes. And you can be the one who is always hiding encouraging notes in my robe pocket, gifting me with cherry trees," I say, referring to the opening chapter in the book that I still so deeply want to write.
"I told you," Jean-Marc mumbles, "write what you need to write."
Another period of silence passes in which each of us reaches for our computers and our tea, to surf the net, silently. Checking my mail I am struck dumb by a letter.
The forwarded email has accidentally ended up in my inbox. In the letter, someone I admire—who has also shown a lot of affection toward me—is telling another friend about the first two chapters of my memoir. Concerning the Prologue story, she writes:
This one is about her marking her 10th anniversary of sobriety. And, yes, if you read it and get the impression her husband is a jerk, he is.
I am stunned as I read my friend's words. I know she cares about me, but I had no idea how she felt about my husband! Farther down the email, I see the recipient's response:
I can appreciate what this woman went through to get where she is and should I assume that the rest of the manuscript details what it took for her (and out of her) to get where she is today?
They were talking about us—me and "The Jerk"! My heart fell as I began to realize the consequences of my sharing. Write enough about my husband—no matter how lovingly—and somebody out there is going to think he is a connard!
It occurred to me then that no matter how sensitively I told my story, I was putting my husband's reputation at risk.
"You have my permission," Jean-Marc said, setting down his tea. "I don't care what anybody thinks about me."
"But you should care. It might hurt you one day. Someone might mistake you for a connard!"
The more I thought about it, I realized what danger I was putting him in. Though a few illustrative sentences about Jean-Marc's behavior might balance out my own questionable behavior in one of the dramatic chapters, would readers be left with a bad taste in their mouths? And would that be what they remembered?
Only I will know all his proofs of love and the lengths he has gone to to pull us through.
Next I thought about the risk to my own reputation. Did I really want to be labelled? You know, she's an alcoholic… complete strangers would say. Should I choose to go ahead with my story, there would be other colorful labels that would crop up, too!
Having built up a blog in the past ten years, with supportive (and down right adoring) readers, do I want to risk off-putting any one of them with some tidbit from my private life?
I began to think about all of the people that would read my story, from my French aunts to my grandchildren to the lady at the flower stand, to whom I had given my card. Did I want them to know everything about me? What would be the consequences?
In ten years would family members look at me and say, "But Kristi, what were you thinking?"
Would my husband still be here?
Is it really worth it? Even if I were to work with an agent and a publisher—and be paid for my story—would it be, in the end, at my very own expense?
***
Monday morning now. My husband is laughing again. After a particularly painful weekend, he is back to his chipper, teasing self when I bring him his morning tea.
"Pray for me, that I might tell this story," I whisper.
"I already have," Jean-Marc smiles.
"Are you just saying that? You didn't pray!" I say, poking his side.
"Yes, I did," he pokes me back, and I'm touched, believing him.
***
My mom supports me, my sister too: "Call me every day," Heidi insists, encouraging me to tell my story, if it will help me. "I think it will help others," I say.
"You bet it will help others!" my sister agrees.
***
Post note: To my friend who wrote that Jean-Marc is a jerk. He has not seen your letter and I am not mad at you. I only ask that you will remember to withhold judgment. I want to tell my story but I am terrified of anyone judging my husband or myself, which will happen, I know.
Jean-Marc may not always be an angel, but he is my Prince Charming. His love has swooped me up, quite literally off the ground.
A final word: when I have my doubts about sharing my story, including the bad decisions I have made, it gives me great courage to know that readers are not judging me. I read every comment, here are just a few that speak to me, as I continue to weigh whether or not to share certain details of my story:
If it gives someone else the courage to make important changes, it will be worth it. Hopefully, it is therapeutic for you as well. There is no shame in past weakness overcome, or, at least held at bay. –Rob T
Kristin- You may never see my comment– there are so many. And it doesn't really matter. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and focus on you. You are a brave, strong woman. It takes guts to admit that you aren't perfect, but none of us are. This "confession" only makes me admire you more. We all have weaknesses, skeletons, "fallings down" or however you want to put it. We are human. Be true to yourself. I wish you the very best. Write this book for you. I will read it and so will many others. Much love sent your way- Teresa.
To comment on this story, or to read the comments, click here.
Chapters: click on the following links to read the book that I am currently writing
Jean-Marc (here with Tom Mann) will kick off his USA Wine Tour this spring. Check out his itinerary and see if he will be in your area. Click here.
If I continue writing… I'll tell you the story of moving to a wine farm. Yes, I was tempted there. No, I never tasted so much as one drop of Jean-Marc's award winning-wine. I swear.
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Our dear Kristi,
Once again you have given us isnpiration–and admiration– for your courage.
Are you too young to remember Pinocchio??
Jiminy Cricket??
Always let your conscience be your guide????
This is exactly what you are doing right now.You always will. You’re a beautiful,caring,loving woman.
How blessed we are to know you and be in your circle.
Love, Natalia XO
Our dear Kristi,
Once again you have given us isnpiration–and admiration– for your courage.
Are you too young to remember Pinocchio??
Jiminy Cricket??
Always let your conscience be your guide????
This is exactly what you are doing right now.You always will. You’re a beautiful,caring,loving woman.
How blessed we are to know you and be in your circle.
Love, Natalia XO
For Kristen, one of the bravest, smartest, and most gentle ladies I have ever had the opportunity knowing via an electronic messenger. We readers share your anxiety when it comes to opening up our soul to strangers. A wise man once said that
“Knowledge is the window to the soul and eliminates any anxiety.” More power to you dear…
For Kristen, one of the bravest, smartest, and most gentle ladies I have ever had the opportunity knowing via an electronic messenger. We readers share your anxiety when it comes to opening up our soul to strangers. A wise man once said that
“Knowledge is the window to the soul and eliminates any anxiety.” More power to you dear…
Kristen: does your very personal endeavor made public pull up the feelings of prior collateral damage Jean -Marc may have felt in the past? Validate his feelings and acknowledge his strength for staying with you…some things from the past can stay painful. I still wonder what I could have done better to stop the 3 suicide attempts.
Kristen: does your very personal endeavor made public pull up the feelings of prior collateral damage Jean -Marc may have felt in the past? Validate his feelings and acknowledge his strength for staying with you…some things from the past can stay painful. I still wonder what I could have done better to stop the 3 suicide attempts.
Dear Kristin,
You have a truly lovely way with writing that we are all extremely fond of. We love the new words, the snippets of your life, the good, the bad, the ordinary day-to-dayness of a life that is sometimes quite different from the ones we live. These last few posts have been exceedingly well-written and I admire your courage for putting it all out there.
Most of what advise I would humbly offer has already been voiced before by your other lovely readers. You have been struggling with trying to tell your story without hurting others and that may or may not be possible to do. Our stories are never isolated; they, of necessity, affect the important others in our lives for good or bad and at times, both.
It takes great strength and courage to face our weaknesses and our failures. Even more to do it publicly. There is always the risk that some may misinterpret our words, no matter how carefully we choose them. There is always the risk that we inadvertently hurt someone we deeply care about. There is always the chance that what we say helps not only ourselves in the telling, but others as well.
But, at the end of the day, it is not your readers who have to live with the end results of shared histories. It will be you and your loved ones. Will it help or hurt to write this? Who will it help/hurt? Why do I need to do this? By doing this, how will it help me? At what cost? How would I feel if someone told their story and I was a part of that story? What would I appreciate in that case? I’m sure those are the questions you have been grappling with.
If this is something you really need to do (and we would support you whether it is or it isn’t!), perhaps writing it in private first, as others have suggested, and then when you are satisfied with what you have written, sharing it first with J-M and others involved in your journey to make sure there is no irreparable damage done to any of your relationships with going public.
Whatever you decide, I wish you peace with your decision.
Dear Kristin,
You have a truly lovely way with writing that we are all extremely fond of. We love the new words, the snippets of your life, the good, the bad, the ordinary day-to-dayness of a life that is sometimes quite different from the ones we live. These last few posts have been exceedingly well-written and I admire your courage for putting it all out there.
Most of what advise I would humbly offer has already been voiced before by your other lovely readers. You have been struggling with trying to tell your story without hurting others and that may or may not be possible to do. Our stories are never isolated; they, of necessity, affect the important others in our lives for good or bad and at times, both.
It takes great strength and courage to face our weaknesses and our failures. Even more to do it publicly. There is always the risk that some may misinterpret our words, no matter how carefully we choose them. There is always the risk that we inadvertently hurt someone we deeply care about. There is always the chance that what we say helps not only ourselves in the telling, but others as well.
But, at the end of the day, it is not your readers who have to live with the end results of shared histories. It will be you and your loved ones. Will it help or hurt to write this? Who will it help/hurt? Why do I need to do this? By doing this, how will it help me? At what cost? How would I feel if someone told their story and I was a part of that story? What would I appreciate in that case? I’m sure those are the questions you have been grappling with.
If this is something you really need to do (and we would support you whether it is or it isn’t!), perhaps writing it in private first, as others have suggested, and then when you are satisfied with what you have written, sharing it first with J-M and others involved in your journey to make sure there is no irreparable damage done to any of your relationships with going public.
Whatever you decide, I wish you peace with your decision.
Dear Kristi,
Let those who are without sin cast the first stone!!! We have all done things we are ashamed of. We have all hurt other people – sometimes deliberately, sometimes when we really didn’t mean to. We all grow and change and become stronger because of our faults.
Learning to deal with ourselves and others -especially those we love – is ongoing. I often wonder if I haven’t complained of my lot too much to friends. But we are who we are and others just have to learn to accept us as we are.
Just by your writing, we know there is a real depth to you. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to relocate to France – despite help from your new family. The adjustments you must have made, I’m sure few of us realise how that must have affected you and how vulnerable you must have felt.
I don’t think readers will think ill of you – or of Jean-Marc. We are all living our lives for the first and only time – of course we will make mistakes! Learning from them is what makes the difference.
We support you in whatever decision you make and wish you strength and courage in that decision.
Dear Kristi,
Let those who are without sin cast the first stone!!! We have all done things we are ashamed of. We have all hurt other people – sometimes deliberately, sometimes when we really didn’t mean to. We all grow and change and become stronger because of our faults.
Learning to deal with ourselves and others -especially those we love – is ongoing. I often wonder if I haven’t complained of my lot too much to friends. But we are who we are and others just have to learn to accept us as we are.
Just by your writing, we know there is a real depth to you. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to relocate to France – despite help from your new family. The adjustments you must have made, I’m sure few of us realise how that must have affected you and how vulnerable you must have felt.
I don’t think readers will think ill of you – or of Jean-Marc. We are all living our lives for the first and only time – of course we will make mistakes! Learning from them is what makes the difference.
We support you in whatever decision you make and wish you strength and courage in that decision.
Whatever you choose to share, I’m sure you will do a fine job writing it. I just wanted to remark that from my perspective, your husband has always come across as quite a cool guy. Starting your own business and farming both take guts and a lot of hard work. Can’t help admiring that.
Whatever you choose to share, I’m sure you will do a fine job writing it. I just wanted to remark that from my perspective, your husband has always come across as quite a cool guy. Starting your own business and farming both take guts and a lot of hard work. Can’t help admiring that.
KRISTI DARLING,
I am awake and ready for you to call me this morning…I woke up several times last night thinking about you. When I wasn’t awake I was dreaming about you and Heidi. I don’t know if it is your writing that is triggering me or your phone calls – but all kinds of memories are flooding into my mind regarding the Les Arcs years.
XOXO
MOM
KRISTI DARLING,
I am awake and ready for you to call me this morning…I woke up several times last night thinking about you. When I wasn’t awake I was dreaming about you and Heidi. I don’t know if it is your writing that is triggering me or your phone calls – but all kinds of memories are flooding into my mind regarding the Les Arcs years.
XOXO
MOM
Kristin,
I admire your courage and humility and you continue to inspire me thrice weekly. My mother was an ‘alcoholic’ – if we must put a label on it – and her children grew up without her…and she without them. If only she had had the strength that you have! Be brave and follow your heart.
Blessings to you
Kristin,
I admire your courage and humility and you continue to inspire me thrice weekly. My mother was an ‘alcoholic’ – if we must put a label on it – and her children grew up without her…and she without them. If only she had had the strength that you have! Be brave and follow your heart.
Blessings to you
Kristi, I am so touched by all of the loving, caring, heartfelt messages above that my eyes well up with tears and quite likely yours have spilled over, so I offer this:
“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
Rabindranath Tagore
Kristi, I am so touched by all of the loving, caring, heartfelt messages above that my eyes well up with tears and quite likely yours have spilled over, so I offer this:
“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
Rabindranath Tagore
Kristi, you are a brave and strong woman. Do what your heart tells you.
It takes so much to open up and really share yourself.
Bravo.
Linda
Kristi, you are a brave and strong woman. Do what your heart tells you.
It takes so much to open up and really share yourself.
Bravo.
Linda
Merci pour votre blogue, qui m’inspirent chaque fois que je la lis!
Les difficulties font partie de la vie – il faut les inclure dans nos histoires. Vous devriez être fière d’avoir le courage d’en parler.
Continuez à écrire, parce que des fois, c’est l’écriture qui peut guérir les blessures.
Merci pour votre inspiration et votre perspective dans la vie!
Merci pour votre blogue, qui m’inspirent chaque fois que je la lis!
Les difficulties font partie de la vie – il faut les inclure dans nos histoires. Vous devriez être fière d’avoir le courage d’en parler.
Continuez à écrire, parce que des fois, c’est l’écriture qui peut guérir les blessures.
Merci pour votre inspiration et votre perspective dans la vie!
Kristi,
You need to write this for you. If you choose to share, then that also is up to you and Jean-Marc. Perhaps finish the piece and then the two of you make that decision together. I say together, because you two are a team. He has been with you probably nearly half your life now. And, if this is a memoir, does one start in the beginning? What one remembers as a child growing up? or a memoir of your link to France and French life? But as I said before, be sure to fill it with all the wonderful,fun and humorous things in your life that have transpired. Those times are the ones that you will reflect upon with joy. And look to the future, because there are many more years left.
May the stars shine on you tonight.
Hugs, Joie
Kristi,
You need to write this for you. If you choose to share, then that also is up to you and Jean-Marc. Perhaps finish the piece and then the two of you make that decision together. I say together, because you two are a team. He has been with you probably nearly half your life now. And, if this is a memoir, does one start in the beginning? What one remembers as a child growing up? or a memoir of your link to France and French life? But as I said before, be sure to fill it with all the wonderful,fun and humorous things in your life that have transpired. Those times are the ones that you will reflect upon with joy. And look to the future, because there are many more years left.
May the stars shine on you tonight.
Hugs, Joie
There are always people who are going to judge. I’ve found they are usually the ones most in need of looking inward. But that is too scary so they censure others instead. You are very brave, and I think I speak for many who will admire you more and feel closer to you because you are sharing and struggling. As with most relationships, I’m sure there have been times when Jean-Marc was not at his best, as there surely were for you, as well. That’s life and love. I look forward to reading your memoir — or as much as you would like to share. Thank you for letting us into your world.
There are always people who are going to judge. I’ve found they are usually the ones most in need of looking inward. But that is too scary so they censure others instead. You are very brave, and I think I speak for many who will admire you more and feel closer to you because you are sharing and struggling. As with most relationships, I’m sure there have been times when Jean-Marc was not at his best, as there surely were for you, as well. That’s life and love. I look forward to reading your memoir — or as much as you would like to share. Thank you for letting us into your world.
I’ve read most of the comments above, and saw almost everything I was thinking there. Your readers are sharp, supportive, protective, encouraging, sometimes critical.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT US!
All I would add is that it’s time to get really quiet with yourself. Turn away from us–not because we aren’t behind you but because we should not be/cannot be the voice you trust.
I’ve read most of the comments above, and saw almost everything I was thinking there. Your readers are sharp, supportive, protective, encouraging, sometimes critical.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT US!
All I would add is that it’s time to get really quiet with yourself. Turn away from us–not because we aren’t behind you but because we should not be/cannot be the voice you trust.
Kristin, I have been reading your blog on and off for a couple of years but have only commented once or twice. This time I feel I have some advice to offer as I was married to a member of AA for 10 years and spent some time in the rooms as a family member and more time learning about the disease. I am convinced that alcoholism takes many forms, and follows a variety of patterns. Bill W has come up with a formula that works frequently, imperfectly but not always– so anonymity is a safety precaution that one can discard without immediate repercussion in some cases–but would you bet your sobriety on it? If it were me, I would err on the side of caution–you have achieved something miraculous and inspiring and you can continue to inspire in many ways without putting yourself at risk. I don’t know if you are familiar with Lawrence Block who writes a mystery series featuring a detective who is a friend of Bill W. In interviews, he absolutely refuses to answer personal questions relating to alcoholism and instead he speaks to the world through his character. But its not me and I wish you all the best and bon courage with whatever decision you make.
Kristin, I have been reading your blog on and off for a couple of years but have only commented once or twice. This time I feel I have some advice to offer as I was married to a member of AA for 10 years and spent some time in the rooms as a family member and more time learning about the disease. I am convinced that alcoholism takes many forms, and follows a variety of patterns. Bill W has come up with a formula that works frequently, imperfectly but not always– so anonymity is a safety precaution that one can discard without immediate repercussion in some cases–but would you bet your sobriety on it? If it were me, I would err on the side of caution–you have achieved something miraculous and inspiring and you can continue to inspire in many ways without putting yourself at risk. I don’t know if you are familiar with Lawrence Block who writes a mystery series featuring a detective who is a friend of Bill W. In interviews, he absolutely refuses to answer personal questions relating to alcoholism and instead he speaks to the world through his character. But its not me and I wish you all the best and bon courage with whatever decision you make.
Kristi ~ Your post today touched my heart. We have an alcoholic daughter who is trying to recover and it is such a battle for her. A friend referred me to your blog and I have enjoyed it very much. I applaud your honesty and feel that writing your book is great personal therapy for you but, moreso, can help others deal with their addictions.
Kristi ~ Your post today touched my heart. We have an alcoholic daughter who is trying to recover and it is such a battle for her. A friend referred me to your blog and I have enjoyed it very much. I applaud your honesty and feel that writing your book is great personal therapy for you but, moreso, can help others deal with their addictions.
There is some wonderful advice and warnings posted above that I am sure you will consider. I, along with the rest of the cheering squad, admire your honesty. I have always been drawn to your wit and observance of behaviors and culture. It is also obvious that you have become an anchor for many of us who, of course, have secrets and joys that we can relate to. Please, treasure, as I know you do, Jean Marc’s love. My husband also during our 50 years of marriage would communicate as JM does. I miss it terribly. Whether you continue to write a tell-all or edit- fact to fiction, the finished product will be a polished publish-ready manuscript. Life and writing is not for the timid. My heart felt prayers and love go out to you all, you, JM, Jules, Max and Jacki as they will all be part of your story.
For your Dad, it is 38 degrees in L.A. Brr.
There is some wonderful advice and warnings posted above that I am sure you will consider. I, along with the rest of the cheering squad, admire your honesty. I have always been drawn to your wit and observance of behaviors and culture. It is also obvious that you have become an anchor for many of us who, of course, have secrets and joys that we can relate to. Please, treasure, as I know you do, Jean Marc’s love. My husband also during our 50 years of marriage would communicate as JM does. I miss it terribly. Whether you continue to write a tell-all or edit- fact to fiction, the finished product will be a polished publish-ready manuscript. Life and writing is not for the timid. My heart felt prayers and love go out to you all, you, JM, Jules, Max and Jacki as they will all be part of your story.
For your Dad, it is 38 degrees in L.A. Brr.
HI HONEY –
I imagine you are sound alseep under the stars over the sea…it’s 7:25 p.m. here in Mexico and I’m going to call it a day too. What a day it has been. I loved our conversations today on the phone – I have been busy all day working on your writing schedule – I will try to send you the calendar I made for the next four months tomorrow.
I am using the beautiful notebook Karen sent me – I will be bringing it to France for our big pow-wow in May when we begin to edit.
I want to see 10 new pages on Thursday !!! Get to work !
XOXO
MOM
HI HONEY –
I imagine you are sound alseep under the stars over the sea…it’s 7:25 p.m. here in Mexico and I’m going to call it a day too. What a day it has been. I loved our conversations today on the phone – I have been busy all day working on your writing schedule – I will try to send you the calendar I made for the next four months tomorrow.
I am using the beautiful notebook Karen sent me – I will be bringing it to France for our big pow-wow in May when we begin to edit.
I want to see 10 new pages on Thursday !!! Get to work !
XOXO
MOM
Kristi, I think you have become used to exposing (parts) of your life and your family through your blog. Writing a memoire is a whole different endeavor and you might want to approach it differently. Perhaps write a few chapters and then put them away in a drawer and bring them out a few weeks later to read, evaluate, edit and re-write. Perhaps choose a trusted reader or two after you have gone through a few re-writes. Putting everything out there for all to see in the early stages is probably not going to be helpful to you or your loving husband.
Many good wishes, Carolyn
Kristi, I think you have become used to exposing (parts) of your life and your family through your blog. Writing a memoire is a whole different endeavor and you might want to approach it differently. Perhaps write a few chapters and then put them away in a drawer and bring them out a few weeks later to read, evaluate, edit and re-write. Perhaps choose a trusted reader or two after you have gone through a few re-writes. Putting everything out there for all to see in the early stages is probably not going to be helpful to you or your loving husband.
Many good wishes, Carolyn
The word “selfish”, goes hand in hand with with “alcoholic”. Please stop now,before it’s too late.
The word “selfish”, goes hand in hand with with “alcoholic”. Please stop now,before it’s too late.
“The word “selfish”, goes hand in hand with with “alcoholic”. Please stop now,before it’s too late.”
ohh, Aht, pleeease!
There are hundreds ways to be selfish. I am sure we all have been that some times. Right, throw the stone if you have never been that..
Plus, here is the guidance for you — from the list of selfish behaviours.
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2011/06/9-signs-that-you-might-be-selfish/
9 Signs That You Might Be Selfish
.. #3 It’s selfish to call someone else selfish. By accusing others of being selfish, you are attempting to bring others down and peg and yourself up a peg. This is, by nature, a self-focused action. You are motivated by concern for your own reputation and not by your concern for the well-being of others.
Aht, I am sure you are a saint if you yourself have never failed to exhibit any of these 18 behaviors listed in this article:
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Selfish
How to Stop Being Selfish
“The word “selfish”, goes hand in hand with with “alcoholic”. Please stop now,before it’s too late.”
ohh, Aht, pleeease!
There are hundreds ways to be selfish. I am sure we all have been that some times. Right, throw the stone if you have never been that..
Plus, here is the guidance for you — from the list of selfish behaviours.
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2011/06/9-signs-that-you-might-be-selfish/
9 Signs That You Might Be Selfish
.. #3 It’s selfish to call someone else selfish. By accusing others of being selfish, you are attempting to bring others down and peg and yourself up a peg. This is, by nature, a self-focused action. You are motivated by concern for your own reputation and not by your concern for the well-being of others.
Aht, I am sure you are a saint if you yourself have never failed to exhibit any of these 18 behaviors listed in this article:
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Selfish
How to Stop Being Selfish
Brave woman and loving husband! What other people think of you is none of your business. you have your life to lead and if writing down your story is part of your journey then do it. If you want to share it – then share it. If not – don’t. You do not owe anything to your blog audience. Listen to your instincts. Some one rather smart said the truth will set you free. I believe that with all my heart. But he did not say anything about sharing it with the world – that is up to you.
Brave woman and loving husband! What other people think of you is none of your business. you have your life to lead and if writing down your story is part of your journey then do it. If you want to share it – then share it. If not – don’t. You do not owe anything to your blog audience. Listen to your instincts. Some one rather smart said the truth will set you free. I believe that with all my heart. But he did not say anything about sharing it with the world – that is up to you.
Kristi, please don’t ever be put off by those who might judge you or Jean Marc as what they think doesn’t matter one whit. What matters is the support of those who support and love you and they would never judge!
Kristi, please don’t ever be put off by those who might judge you or Jean Marc as what they think doesn’t matter one whit. What matters is the support of those who support and love you and they would never judge!
You are brave & strong & courageous, even when you don’t feel like you are. I admire you.
You are brave & strong & courageous, even when you don’t feel like you are. I admire you.
Kristin
The love from and for Jean-Marc bleeds valentine red throughout all your writing. A blessing of support, and an illustration of adult love at its best.
What you share or dare isn’t “exposure” but your ability to wrap us all into your life of courage, of love. Thank you for letting us enter your circle of happiness. No life isn’t fraught with pitfalls, so keep on writing, stumble if you must, trudge on and give life to this gift that we all might share with you the glow and glory of your success, joy and peace.
love
ronni
Kristin
The love from and for Jean-Marc bleeds valentine red throughout all your writing. A blessing of support, and an illustration of adult love at its best.
What you share or dare isn’t “exposure” but your ability to wrap us all into your life of courage, of love. Thank you for letting us enter your circle of happiness. No life isn’t fraught with pitfalls, so keep on writing, stumble if you must, trudge on and give life to this gift that we all might share with you the glow and glory of your success, joy and peace.
love
ronni