I wrote the story “crush widow” two years ago. Were you reading then? (Photo of a modern cabanon with its carpet of white flowers taken in Sainte Cécile-les-Vignes. In wintertime, the old, leafless vines always look, to me, like upended chicken feet—as do all the pollarded trees.)
la veuve de la vendange (lah vuv deuh lah von danzh)
: crush widow
Audio file: Listen to Jean-Marc pronounce the French words below: MP3 file or Wav file
On les appelle “les veuves de la vendange”, ces femmes qui “perdent” leur mari chaque année en septembre, pendant le ramassage des raisins. We call them “crush widows”, these women who “lose” their husbands each year, in September, during the grape harvest.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE… by Kristin Espinasse
I learned a new term last fall, while guiding yet another enthusiastic and brave bénévole out to the vine fields to help my husband, Chief Grape, with the work load.
“Yeah,” said Eugenia, sympathetically, as she speed-walked (wouldn’t want to keep the Wine Chief waiting!) beside me in well-worn jeans and a grape-stained tee. “There is even a term for it!”
“The harvest just keeps on going… and going… and going… At first it was two weeks, then four, then six. We began this vendange eight weeks ago!” I told our latest helper, as we hurried out to the field, buckets and sécateurs in hand. (I would soon leave Eugenia with Jean-Marc and another volunteer, Jeffrey, in time to dash back to the kitchen and stare into the fridge, wondering just what to throw together for an impromptu lunch for the assistants. I didn’t dare serve last night’s noodles: a collection of scraped-from-the-kids’-plates pasta… fit for a close-knit family, but nowhere near appropriate for our volunteers!
Crush widows! It was one of those aha! moments. So I was not alone in this very lonely state, the grape harvest, when vintners disappear from their wives and from the home and can be found somewhere out in the field or in the “cave” for the remains of the day.
But what Eugenia didn’t tell me was that crush widows don’t suddenly lose their status—and regain their lost love—after the grape crush. No! They wear their vine veils on into winter…. when their husbands are busy juggling the sales of their wine, the accounting, the bottling, the PR, and the pruning of their vines!
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bénévole = volunteer
la vendange = harvest (read about a typical vendange, here!)
le sécateur = pruning shears
le vigneron = wine maker
What Smokey looking for? Click here to share a guess. (It’s not snowing here in the south, near Bandol. Photo taken in Sainte Cécile, where it snowed a few years ago!).
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The Widow Clicquot. Highly recommended! Both Jean-Marc and I loved this book, and took turned yanking it out of each other’s hands during summer vacation. Click to see the reviews.
A cozy kissing bench for the garden. I’m looking for one of these in France, meantime, for US readers, you can get one at Amazon!
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After 27 years of marriage and four children, I learned to accept my husband and I were mere ships passing in the night or, I should say, in our case, snoring side-by-side-through the night and passing during the day! Our moments to connect may come by simply taking a few moments to hold hands. (Then one of the kids usually vaults over the couch to turn on the TV!) BTW, Widow Cliquot’s Champagne is a favorite of ours. Bought the book to add to the “leaning pile of books” on my bedside table! Hang in there!
After 27 years of marriage and four children, I learned to accept my husband and I were mere ships passing in the night or, I should say, in our case, snoring side-by-side-through the night and passing during the day! Our moments to connect may come by simply taking a few moments to hold hands. (Then one of the kids usually vaults over the couch to turn on the TV!) BTW, Widow Cliquot’s Champagne is a favorite of ours. Bought the book to add to the “leaning pile of books” on my bedside table! Hang in there!
Smokey cherche un lapin. In the snow Smokey is loonng for a rabbit.
Sara T. San Jose, California U.S.A.
Smokey cherche un lapin. In the snow Smokey is loonng for a rabbit.
Sara T. San Jose, California U.S.A.
Is Smokey perhaps a “truffle” dog???
Molly LIncoln, NE, U.S.A.
Is Smokey perhaps a “truffle” dog???
Molly LIncoln, NE, U.S.A.
what does it say about me that I knew today’s word from drinking champagne? Laissez les bon temps roller! Thank you for your insights into relationships and patience and allowing our family live their lives, their way. It is not always easy.
cheers!
what does it say about me that I knew today’s word from drinking champagne? Laissez les bon temps roller! Thank you for your insights into relationships and patience and allowing our family live their lives, their way. It is not always easy.
cheers!
Hi, Kristin:
I am not sure this will reach you as I am new at sending you messages, though I am an “old” reader and admirer of your work. I am also a friend of Linda Cane, who visited you last summer, and told me all about your prvious home. I think that your photo of your former vineyard has a very Van Gogh quality — not a bad attribute.
I can appreciate your being a “veuve de la vendange” and that you must let your partner follow his passion. For several years, I was a “veuve d’art.” My husband is an artist/painter. For many years, he would come to Europe for exhibitions, sometimes staying away as long as three months, while I stayed home with the two kids. During one of his trips, I went to a party and met a woman whose husband was in South Africa for a month. “Oh, that is a long time to be alone,” I commented, just making conversation. “Oh, that’s nothing,” she said in a low voice. “I heard about a woman in town who is married to an artist. He goes abroad to have art exhibitions for several months every other year and she is alone with their two children and her job.” I changed the subject quickly.
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Mary Lou Johnston, Montclair, NJ
Hi, Kristin:
I am not sure this will reach you as I am new at sending you messages, though I am an “old” reader and admirer of your work. I am also a friend of Linda Cane, who visited you last summer, and told me all about your prvious home. I think that your photo of your former vineyard has a very Van Gogh quality — not a bad attribute.
I can appreciate your being a “veuve de la vendange” and that you must let your partner follow his passion. For several years, I was a “veuve d’art.” My husband is an artist/painter. For many years, he would come to Europe for exhibitions, sometimes staying away as long as three months, while I stayed home with the two kids. During one of his trips, I went to a party and met a woman whose husband was in South Africa for a month. “Oh, that is a long time to be alone,” I commented, just making conversation. “Oh, that’s nothing,” she said in a low voice. “I heard about a woman in town who is married to an artist. He goes abroad to have art exhibitions for several months every other year and she is alone with their two children and her job.” I changed the subject quickly.
—-
Mary Lou Johnston, Montclair, NJ