Père et Fille. Jean-Marc and Jackie (did you read her letter on maquillage?). Tomorrow, March 29th, is Chief Grape's 45th birthday!
la prise de conscience (preez-deuh-kon-see-uhns)
: realization
Audio File: listen to Jean-Marc read the French words below: Download MP3 or Wav file
Cette prise de conscience était un peu troublante. Il parait que ma peau a vignt ans de plus que moi. This realization was a bit troubling. Apparently my skin is twenty years older than I am.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
She said I need to reapply sunblock every two hours, that when I drive I should put on a long-sleeved (linen) veste in summertime, and that I might consider having the windows in my home (where I work) coated with ultraviolet window film. But the kicker was, she said I have an old peau… She did say that, didn't she?
Standing in the dermato's office, I watch the scrutinizing regard of the doctor, who does not avert her eyes when delivering the conviction: "Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau!"
Because she says the word "jeune" several times in the same paragraph, I initially take it as flattery. Since when was middle age "young"? …But then the words begin to translate themselves, as French words do, slowly… surely—tick, tick, tick—until, like a grenade, they explode with meaning.
She never said I was young… she said I was younger than my skin… which I guessed, was old!
"44 year-old woman". Photo taken 4 weeks ago… those are stitches from the second basal cell surgery. My forehead is coming along, too…
.
No need to guess any further, the dermato is blunt: "You have prematurely old skin! Votre peau a vingt ans de plus que vous!"
I am tempted to shush her up, tempted to claim and enforce that universal rule of tact, only, reason tells me that tact is sometimes nothing more than a tool for illusionists: it is magician's smoke! I don't want Houdini, I want Dr H, whose higher goal it is–in telling me the truth about my skin–to prevent further dégâts.
Dr H. says I will need to catch up to my skin's age! The good news is I have twenty years to do so…. Meantime, I will need to slow down the "advancement" of my cellules–and prevent further skin cancers associated with older skin–by slathering on the sunblock, closing the curtains in my bright office, and staying out of the sun.
(It is a strange new goal, that of trying to catch up one's biological age to one's physical age! Weren't the two the same?)
The other good news was that the third mysterious growth (or the purpose of my doctor visit) turned out to be a harmless angiome–and not another invasive cell. OUF!).
I pay the doctor 42 euros, thank her for the "reassurance", and leave the office. When I get into my car I look into the rear-view mirror….
First, the crows feet leap out. Gosh, the lines around my eyes are deeper than I remembered their being… my skin looks tired, too.
I have the desire to google "44-year-old skin" or "44-year-old woman" just to see what I should look like. What, after all, should I look like?
In the end, I resist the urge to let google toy with my emotions. I am strong, tough as leather, and you might even say I have the skin to prove it.
French Vocabulary
père et fille = father and daughter
joyeux anniversaire = happy birthday
la veste = jacket
le/la dermato (dermatologue) = dermatologist
Vous êtes plus jeune que votre peau = you are younger than your skin
Votre peau a vingt ans de plus que vous = your skin is twenty years older than you are
les dégâts (m) = damage
une cellule = cell
un angiome = angioma (a benign tumor made up of blood vessels). Our son Max was born with a dime-size bright red "angiome" on his forehead. The doctors referred to it as "une fraise" (a strawberry)
ouf! = phew!
Another snapshot from Chief Grape's USA wine tour. Here is Jean-Marc with Alex and Joanne Polner. Photo taken at Vestry Wines in NYC.
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Ditto for everything everyone else said, and there is a line of clothing (starts with a P, I think) that is supposed to also provide a natural sunblock. If I recall correctly, they’re made to be light enough so you can wear them in the sun, but block the rays.
Happy Birthday, Jean Marc!
Can’t help but disagree with your dermatologist. Your skin does not look old at all. I wonder if dermatologists tend to exaggerate. My experience has been that mine tends to be an alarmist, and I take her diagnoses with a grain of salt.
Nonsense, Kristin! You look like a beautiful 25-year-old. A certain amount of sun is good for the skin–Vitamin D. You just got too much as a kid, and its effects are showing up now (Damage is cumulative). But you certainly do not look old, you look young and vibrant and healthy. And you are.
Joyeaux Anniversaire, Jean Marc! I hope that your wine tour across the US was very successful!
Kristin, Thank you once again for begin so willing to share with all of us. I am so glad that the latest bump was nothing to worry about. My dermatologist asks me every time if I am wearing my sunscreen – she says to wear it every single day, rain or shine. I confess I don’t always do it when it is cloudy, though I know that I should. My husband has very fair skin (he is a red head) – and he has to have things burned off every year at the dermatologists. Now, he has quite a nice collection of hats – and he really does not leave the house without a hat – even when we walk the dog around the block.
Sending you greetings from rainy Napa, California – we are finally getting the rain that we need.
Frances
Joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc : vous êtes très beaux !!!!
Happy Birthday to Jean-Marc from Ontario, Canada, and congratulations to his gorgeous femme, Kristin on a healthy skin-check-up!
Kristin, your doctor spoke MEDICALLY re the vulnerability of your delicate skin and very obviously not in terms of how you look to the world. As you pamper this envelope of sensitive tissue that connects you to the world, you’ll always and forever be as stunningly lovely as you are at 44.
Joyeux Anniversaire Jean-Marc! 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful birthday and wine tour!
Happy birthday, Jean-Marc. Wish you a celebration full of fun and speedy recovery from another whirlwind US trip. Sorry we missed you in Portland.
Je vous souhaite un très joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc avec de nombreuses années, plus grands à suivre.
Oh, Kristi, your forehead has healed so quickly and beautifully! I believe it would have been beneficial to your health to bring all of your FWAD friends in to the dermatologist’s office with you. We’d set her straight! Your beauty, both inside and out, glows with God’s goodness. I prefer to see the beauty of a life well-lived vs. perfection.
Blessed Birthday to Jean-Marc!
Kristin,
Thank you for all that you share. I live in Florida and try to reduce my exposure to the sun. I swim when the pool is in the shade.The sunblock I use was developed in Europe. It has protection from UVA and UVB rays, which is very important. In the USA, Neutrogena is a brand that has this protection. When I know I will be outdoors for a length of time I wear long sleeve shirts and long jeans. I have heard that white shirts don’t offer the protection from the sun as a shirt with color. I wear a hat with a wide brim. Not a visor as the top of your head is not protected. I like to do yard work so my hands are covered by gloves. If I must do some prolonged work in a flower bed I prop and old patio umbrella for shade. I enjoy the Florida lifestyle and get enough sun daily. I hope some of my ideas may benefit you. I think you and your family are really special. Carol
You look fantastic! Some 44-year-olds wished they look like you! I am in that “certain age”, and I don’t think of myself as old or with old skin. You are only as old as you feel.
You and your entire family are beautiful. Cheers and Happy Birthday to Jean-Marc.
Chere Kristin, your dermato seems a bit insensitive,you should not worry you are beautiful inside and out. Thank you for sharing your life with us, it gives us great pleasure and we look forward for each episode. Joyeux anniversaire a Jean Marc,he is blessed with a wonderful family. Love the photo of Jackie and her Dad. Caresses a Braise & Smokey Bisous. Paulette Gripp (friend of Gus)
Joyeux anniversaire to Jean-Marc, and you are healing beautifully, Kristin! I missed Jean-Marc in Portland once again, so, next year it is. Vraiment. If you’ll come with him next time, there’s no doubt I’ll make it!!! Hope he’s had a successful tour. And Jackie is growing up, wow!
Happy Birthday Chief Grape from Puerto Rico.
You are a lovely couple.
Kristin, if I were a movie producer .. you would be cast as the sword wielding heroine .. protecting her family and giving great words of wisdom to the masses. I can envision you ala Rachel Welch .. standing on a rock above us – golden locks flying in the wind, liquid blue eyes filled with compassion for those you love and fury for injustice. Girl, you are beautiful .. those minuscule scars only add to the beauty. Keep raising your sword! Jean-Mark .. God Bless on your Birthday .. ENJOY!
Joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc. Wishing you all the best for a wonderful 2012!
Our dear Kristin,
Another wonderful post(as always!) and one which touches all of us because at some point we all have concerns about our appearance.(ESPECIALLY age related ! Just can’t help it!)
You are beautiful! And most importantly,your beauty FIRST comes from the inside!
Jackie is so pretty and so like you!
Wishing Jean Marc a very happy birthday!
A terrific celebration,particularly beacuse you are cancer free! XO
Happy Birthday Jean-Marc! Have a fantastic day.
Kristin even though I haven’t met you in person, I can see that you have a lovely glow from within. It’s how ‘young’ you feel inside that counts.
🙂 Christine
Happy birthday, Jean-Marc. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. When are you bringing your wine to Atlanta?
Debbie Houston
Lilburn GA
Vous etes si jeune, et si belle cherie. Ne t’inquietez jamais!
Oops. Ne vous inquietez jamais. Or should I say ne t’inquites pas or….?!
I have to practice my french as nous serons a Paris en Juin. I would’ve like to have seen Jean-Marc in Oakland the other evening (not too far) but I missed my chance. 8^(
Joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc!
Je vais vous voir la prochaine visite a San Francisco Bay Area. I’m sorry that I missed this one.
Joyeux anniversaire Jean-Marc. Que cette annee vous apporte bonheur et bonne sante.
Kristin, vous savez que le PETIT PRINCE de St. Exupery connait la vraie beaute. Vous etes la plus belle femme au monde grace a votre coeur et l’amour que vous avez pour la vie et pour vos amies.
Janine Cortell
Happy Birthday, Jean-Marc. Please visit Denver next time you are stateside.
Michele Fuxan
Happy, Happy Birthday Jean-Marc. Beautiful picture of you and Jackie.
Kristi you are beautiful inside and out. Love you!
Gus, that was funny, I was tricked too!!! ha ha ha
xoxo
Bonne anniversaire, Jean Marc. So glad your wine is doing well. You are following your dream by working hard and who could resist buying a bottle when you are the vintner? You not only have a lovely daughter but a beautiful (all the way through) wife who proves that beauty is deeper than the outer layer.
Kristin, I put PF 50 on even if I don’t go outside all day. In Florida, that’s a must for us fairskinned folks. When I go out, I put it on under my makeup. Mother was right when she said not to get my nose blistered. Sure enough, I got basal cell carcinoma in my 40’s. The dermatological surgeon took skin from behind my ear to replace what he cut off the tip of my nose. Now that I’m 75, my skin is about the same age, but it gets thinner every year! Just keep slathering on the sunblock and wearing the big hats. You are always going to be beautiful just like your mother.
Cher Kristin,
A big sun hat is your friend! I could not do without mine : )
Votre santé!!
Hope you and your family have a wonderful celebration.
Best wishes,
Lorna Peterson
Joyeux Anniversaire, Jean-Marc, from Casey and Virginia in St. Petersburg. I hope your US travels were wildly successful.
Everything is looking good, Kristin. And as I told my patients for years: “Practice safe sun”
xoxoxVirginia
I have been reading your blog for years and never responded–it’s not my style–but there was something about this entry that has prompted me to write. I think the first thing is that in your photo you look so young and so beautiful and I thought you should hear that. But the second thing–and probably more important–is that your posting just seemed so brave. No one wants to admit having skin beyond their years or skin that looks the least bit other than perfect. I think your web site is great for people who want to learn about life in France as an ex-pat and who want to build their vocabulary, but it is more poignant for women who want to hear about dealing with skin cancer and the challenges we all face as we and are families grow older together.
Jean Marc ~ Bonne Anniversaire!
to Jean-Marc:
Joyeux anniversaire!
Nancy and Ken
Jean0-Marc – Joyeux anniversaire de Salt Lake City UT USA. Nous avons été déçus que vous ne veniez pas à Salt Lake City. Nous avons de bons souvenirs de vin en France. Nous pouvons acheter du vin français, mais l’ambiance n’est pas la même! J’espère que votre voyage s’est bien passé.
meilleurs vœux.
Et s’il vous plaît aider votre femme à comprendre qu’elle est belle, à l’intérieur qu’à l’extérieur.
Your books are absolutely delightful! I am letting my friends know so they can also bring this joy into their lives. Merci beaucoup pour tout!
Corinne
Chere Kristin, not to worry about the insensitive comment of the dermato, you are beautiful in the inside and out. thank you for your blog about your life, Gus and I look forward to each episode. A gorgeous family in Provence and such interesting life. Je suis envieuse joyeux anniversaire a Jean Marc. love the photo of Jackie et son Papa.caresses a braise &smokey amicalement Paulette
Joyeux anniversaries, Jean Marc, Un Bon vivant avec un voix tres particular, milles mercis, Ann Marie
Words have power! How we choose to describe ourselves can influence our own self-perception. ‘Crow’s feet’ — so unpleasant. Try SMILE LINES — proof of someone who enjoys life and laughing. Joyeux anniversaire a Jean-Marc.
Tout d’abord, meilleurs voeux, Jean-Marc, a l’occasion de votre anniversaire. Je boirai un verre pour feter avec vous et votre famille!
Kristin, how the doctor delivered the message is irrelevant; the essential is that you heed the warning, respond appropriately, and continue to live the life you desire to live. As we all know, life is short, and only certain elements of it are within our control. We can and should treasure and nurture our good health in every way we know how. It’s something that we sometimes take for granted until we lose it.
I wish you well, you and your beautiful family!
Joyeux Anniversaire, Jean-Marc!
Marianne Gooding
Joyeux anniversaire, Jean-Marc! Bettie and I really enjoyed seeing you again at Bouchon on March 13. I hope you will have time to rest a little bit from your trip before diving back into the grape vines.
Kristin, as everyone has told you, you’re still lookin’ good, and Jacqui is following in your footsteps!!
Our best to all…
Chère Kristin, malgré la cicatrice, tu restes toujours belle.
I interprete the dermato’s words differently from most people. Your skin’s condition is her concern and she wants you to take precautions to protect it. For her, to be 44 is être encore jeune! 🙂
C’est ta fête, que ce jour te remplisse de Joie et de Bonheur, Jean-Marc! Si tu es comme une bouteille de ton bon vin, tu t’améliores avec l’âge. Joyeux Anniversaire, Jean-Marc!
Happy Birthday to Chief Grape!
Kristin, please stay strong and be vigilant with all the stay out of the sun rules! I myself did not know that sunscreen needs to be applied one hour before going out in the sun. My mother always told me when I was young to be very careful of the sun …and for once I listened. A very dear friend of mine is going through the same thing as you right now with malignant melanoma..yesterday she lost her whole forehead!! My heart goes out to you and to all the other women I know that have to deal with this rotte Cancer. You both have the same thing in common as you will always be beautiful no matter what!
You are in my thoughts and prayers .
Sandy Vichery (Strong) from San Clemente , CA
Bonne anniversaire, Jean-Marc!
Kristin, you look so beautiful, even with your cicatrices! I think your growing up in AZ probably exposed you to too much sun. But now, you’ll be careful, non? A lovely hat would look great on you!
Judy (Scottsdale)
You are a strong and lovely woman, Kristin. And your husband is lovely, too. Happy Birthday to him and good health to you both!
Bon Anniversaire to Jean-Marc! Kristin, I too have had several basal cell carcinomas removed and it is quite scary, especially when they’re on the face. And we women, in our vanity, for which we cannot help nor be blamed, take it especially hard. You look gorgeous and will remain gorgeous. Just keep the sunscreen on. I was just in Hawaii for 9 days and religiously applied sunscreen every day and used tanning cream to cheat the system. It worked great and I was proud to come home sans sunburn. And as all the other posts agree, your skin does not look 20 years older than you. Shame on that nurse!! She was probably trying to shame you so that you’d obey orders and wear that sunscreen daily 🙂 Keep on sharing your wonderful stories. I rarely post due to time constraints however I love reading your blog. We are all living vicariously through you. All the best, Catherine from Santa Rosa, California
Happy Birthday to the Chief Grape!! I hope you get to enjoy some of the wonderful grapes of your labors on your birthday!!
Happy Birthday, Jean-Marc….and many more to follow, as it is said in the states! ….Great photo of you and Jackie.
Kristin, the photo of you today is lovely and your skin does NOT look twenty years older than your age, rather, it looks twenty years younger!
Your Dr. H needs to practice a few years in Florida where I lived as a child and still visit family. There she would find patients who really do have major skin problems due to the intense sun. Maybe their southern hospitality and manners would have a good influence upon her. Also, I don’t think that most ultra-violet rays will pass through window glass. You might want to research this before putting any type of film on the windows of your home.
Have a wonderful day tomorrow with your birthday celebrations! Best wishes for everyone, Cynthia
I meant to write…..major problems with premature aging of the skin due to the intense sun.
Happy Birthday Jean-Marc. Birthdays are soooo special. A day all your own! I am sure there are surprises waiting for you. All the best.
Kristin there is a pattern to the healing of these skin grafts/cancers. First the skin is stiff and not pliable but if you keep a strong cream on it 24/7 it slowly realaxes and becomes more pliant. You are a work in progress! As every one else has mentioned “Who Knew?” But now we do so we just need to take care. This sisterhood of skin cancer is amazing in its support. Be sure to heed all advise. It is so valuable.