Jean-Marc ("Chief Grape) will be in New-York this coming March 8th–or during his 2012 US wine tour (Photo taken in Le Castellet Village, at the restaurant Le Pied de Nez – painting by Christian Pieroni)
WIN ANOTHER PRIZE (click here to enter this drawing): Today, help me practice The Noble Art of Listening… Enter today's drawing and WIN a telephone call from me (Kristin) in France! (Well, maybe not as exciting an offer as the previous one, but then… it is better than a kick in the pants!) Read on, in today's missive… or enter right away, via this link.
une causette (koh-zet)
: a chat
un brin de causette = a little chat
Audio file…
(Sorry, all the Francophones in our house are asleep–that means you are stuck with me! Listen, at your own péril, to the following recording: Download MP3 or Wav file
Une causette c'est aussi de la communication informelle entre plusieurs personnes, sur l'internet, par échange de messages affichés sur leurs écrans. A 'causette' is also informal communication between many people, on the internet, by the exchange of messages posted to their computer screens.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
Grande Bouche
To not get a word in edgewise. This English expression is too delightful, la preuve that the French do not have the monopoly on charming expressions.
Visualize, pour une minute, the edgewise idiom. Can't you just see so many exasperated Words trying, in vain, to slip into The Conversation? At their wit's end, the weary Words must throw up their arms and fall back… so as to sneak in, edgewise, to the lively, one-sided Conversation.
Though the can't get a word in edgewise expression amuses me to no end, it is no fun being Blabbermouth. I'd rather be Good Listener. But when conversation gets going… I can't help but take flight, until, once again, I am steering this chatty vessel–Conversation–through the maze of Off Topic. Wheeeee!———
"C'est HS," my kids say, eyes-rollingly, and I listen in time to understand some teen slang (HS = "Hors Sujet" or Off Topic).
"Let me just finish my thought here…" my Mom suggests, gently, as we fly from one subject to the next. She is game to ride with me on the Ferris wheel of WORDS, and our daily cross-Atlantic conversations are as thrilling as any fairground ride.
"Oh, don't worry about it!" says my friend Claire, who spent the weekend with me. "It's a French thing!" Claire should know, as she has studied the topic for her forthcoming opus.
I'd love to believe that so much word-butting and edging in to conversation is evidence of intercultural advancement, that, once and for all, in that far-off horizon known as French Integration, I am finally making headway… Alas, the truth may very well be, that I am only making "edgeway".
***
Help me practice The Noble Art of Listening… Let me call one of you on the phone–for at least 20 minutes–anywhere in the world! Enter a comment (maybe a tip on how to be a better listener?) in the comments box and I –or MamaJules–will choose a winner on Friday, February 24th. Maybe I could even share our conversation–in an upcoming story? Click here to enter this drawing. I hope to talk to you very soon!
French Vocabulary
grande bouche = big mouth
la preuve = the proof
pour une minute = for a minute
=> also "grande gueule" (though this term may be offensive!)
H.S. = hors sujet = off topic
There's Blabbermouth, there on the left (in red). From left to right: Kristin, Virginia, Casey, Chief Grape, Adrienne. (Thank you, Cecil, for taking the photo–wish you were in it!)
Don't Forget to enter this drawing!
Let me call you one the phone! Should you hear heavy breathing in the background… never fear! (That's just me hyperventalating. I am very nervous about calling you, so please enter here and let me know that you would really like to talk to me!)
And now, can anyone end this edition with the lyrics… in French.. of Blondie's Call Me? 🙂
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Bonjour de l’Inde!
Believe it or not, I’m conducting a workshop on ‘Listening Skills’ for my colleagues next week. So naturally, I was ‘très’ excited to see your post. The thing about listening is that depuis notre enfance, everyone tells us we must (listen), but no one tells us ‘comment faire’! C’est a dire, on nous apprend comment lire, comment écrire, comment parler, mais jamais comment entendre! Alors, not surprising then that most people struggle to listen – they were never taught how!
Never fear, listening is a skill that can be learned through practice, just like any other! Want to know how to be a better listener? Appel-moi,Kristin, et je te donnerai des bons conseils:)
In the meanwhile, keep your wonderful blog posts coming…you dish out a slice of France in each one of them.
A bientôt!
-Reshma
Listen only until the speaker repeats themselves Kristin, then have your say (no repeats).
Ooh, appelle-moi, mon cheri, appelle-moi;
Chaque fois, n’importe ou, n’importe ou, de toute facon;
Chaque fois, n’importe ou, n’importe ou, tous les jour.
Hi Kristin,
I think the key to being a good listener is to be in the moment with the person you are listening to. Really listen to what they are saying and don’t try to interrupt, look elsewhere or think about what you are going to say next. Really listen. A good listener really makes you feel like you are the only person in the room and a connection is made. They relay back what you just said and they comment at the right moments.
What fun to read Blossoming in Provence while in Paris for a month. Especially loved the vocabulary for this wannabe francophile. Eager for more. And to actually speak with you? Oh dear … how exciting and how nervous-making!
Thanks for years of joy.
Ronni
lester-ranch@msn.com
when i was young, i was extremely shy and awkward…..people thought i was the best listener…..i was always terrified!!!!! moved from the country to the city when i was 13….even more terrified….now i am much much older, much less frightened and i find myself becoming more of a good listner….but with my heart, not out of fear!!!!!
Hi Kristi,
I would love to talk with you over the phone! At first, I thought I shouldn’t enter the contest because I wouldn’t know what to say! I feel like I know you a little from reading your posts every week, but the idea of actually speaking with you made me nervous! Then, I got to thinking about all the things that I’ve wanted to ask you about over the couple of years I’ve been following FWAD and it was alot!
So I am entering my name in the draw. I’ve been so inspired by your writing that I would love to talk to you about it, how you got started, how you first became published, etc.
I’m currently reading Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.. and its all Small Stuff and one of the chapters is about not interrupting. It says its more of a habit than anything. This is good news, because all we have to do is catch ourselves, before we forget. I guess many of us are guilty of it!
Kristin, what a great topic!! And how important it is to be a good listener. It is nothing less than respect. Also, just as important as listening to others, is listening to your heart, your instincts, your gut.
What a gift you are giving–a visit! I’ve had several imaginary conversations with you in my head–a real one would be too delicious.
Salut, Kristin! For I have read you online and heard you in recordings, but I would love the opportunity to LISTEN to you with my own ears! A few years back via e-mail, you suggested travel as a way to rediscover myself when I felt at a crossroads in my career. Well, I “listened” to those words and began a new journey filled with personal and professional aspirations and a technological slant to boot–I went back to school! I often wonder if you feel like I do: an unfinished work, a person still in the making, a spirit that loves to learn and grow! I hope that I have the chance to listen to you soon. From one 40-something to another, I think we both are getting better with age much like a grand cuvée. Bonne continuation!
Appelles-moi sur la ligne
Appelles-moi n’importe quand
Appelles-moi mon cheri
Appelles-moi on buverais du vin
Appelles-moi je t’ecouterai …..comme toujours
(Hope Blondie likes that version!)
Always always enjoy your posts!
Kay
I am a terrible listener, at least in MY view. Sometimes we do not know how well we listen until someone else tells us how helpful we have been or how good it was to have a friend lend an ear. I’ love to talk with you anytime, anywhere. I’m tabbing down, hoping that my greyed out space “Post” works.
Hi Kristin,
I would be honored and thrilled to receive a phone call from you. But would it be in English or French? Because I’m a much better listener in French, if you know what I mean (I don’t know the language well enough to be a good conversationalist!)
On the subject of listening, I like Steven Spielberg’s philosophy: “From a very young age, my parents taught me the most important lesson of my whole life: They taught me how to listen. They taught me how to listen to everyobody before I made up my own mind. When you listen, you learn. You absorb like a sponge-and your life becomes so much better than when you are just trying to be listened to all the time.”
Incroyable! Everyone is writing such fun and interesting things. I love all things français, and I would love to talk to you, but I just really love to enter contests…so I’m going to enter this one too…and probably the next. I have lots of ideas for prizes – how about a genuine head of french garlic…or a seed from the vineyard…or a little print of the best photo you’ve ever taken? The possibilities are sans fin.
Hi Kristin – I’ve only recently stared reading your blog but now I’m completely hooked!! I studied French for two years in high school then studied abroad in Perugia, Italy during college. I was always mixing French words into my Italian… 🙂
Now, my husband and I have our first trip to Paris booked for early May! I’m trying to brush up on my French b/f our adventure so speaking with you would be amazing!! I’m so excited for my first trip to France – I would really enjoy hearing your insights!!!
Thank you for your wonderful blog!!!
Rebecca
Houston, TX
I find that taking the time to listen can be a struggle at times, when there are so many other competing priorities (especially in the morning before getting the kids off to school!). I have three young boys and each morning I find myself making the conscious decision to stop and listen to what each one is saying. (As they all like to speak at once and over one another other the conscious decision to listen is necessary!). Best of Luck with the contest!
Wow! I would love to talk with you. In French or English? I have just begun your new book, and I am so enjoying it. I don’t know what it is about your writing, but it so often moves me to tears. I think that the honesty of your writing just strikes some kind of cord with me. Thank you so much for sharing. Frances in Napa, California, USA.
Have often thought it would be fun to chat with you as I read your wonderful blog. Now I am embarking on a new adventure of teaching English abroad ( no, it’s not just for college students anymore ). Of course I want to go to France, but the EU papers are going to be difficult to get. So I continue to fill my mind and heart with France and French daily via your blog, France magazine, books, films and whatever I can to keep my dream of living in France with two dachshunds a reality some day. I’m listening for your phone call!
WHEN ADDRESSED BY ANOTHER THAT WANTS TO ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION, RELAX AND MAKE THAT MOMENT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE. YOU MAY NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO HEAR OR SPEAK WITH THEM AGAIN. MAKE EYE CONTACT AND LET THEM KNOW THEY ARE WELCOME .
Since I’ve had the pleasure of une causette with you en Provence chez vous a couple of years ago (do you recall the dentist who had to undergo a root canal while in France?), consider this a non entry, but I must tell you that you are a delightful conversationalist, a great listener, and the easiest of people to chat with. As to thoughts on being a good listener–switch off the multi-task button, close the mouth, and open the mind!
I would LOVE to receive a phone call from you! It wouldn’t be hard for me to be a good listener at all. I have put you up on a pedestal for so long now, that I would be honored and tongue-tied just to know you were on the other end of the line. Love you! (~,~)
I love living in France. I even like French politics. But one thing that drives me mad, speaking of getting a word in edgewise, is French talk shows or programs with more than one person speaking. They all speak at the same time!! How can they expect to be understood? Don’t they realize how nerve-wracking (and unprofessional) it is to force people to listen to squabbling participants so concerned about getting a word in edgewise that they talk over the other participants?
My husband responds that the French are so smart and so mentally alert that they can juggle all these words/ideas in their heads with no difficulty. Maybe he’s right? And I certainly am learned to follow a wandering line of “conversation”…
Would be wonderful to talk to you!
Listening is an ART…in a world where everyone seems to want to ‘tell their story’, where we all talk at the same time, where our tweets and blogs have us spinning, it is really hard to find a good listener. i teach 7th grade grammar, vocabulary, writing and literature AND the fine art of listening. look at the person talking (not at the cell phone in your lap), lean in with good body language and don’t interrupt. . . oh, we have such a long way to go…it is good for good listeners that so many WANT to talk…
i enjoy the sharing of your life. i will be visiting my family near pau this summer and i have to listen to their whole body talk in order for me to understand them.
abientot
elizabeth
Lots of great advise here. For me, becoming a good listener was an unexpected benefit of being too shy to talk as a teenager and young adult. I think good listening includes giving 100% undistracted attention, showing respect, not thinking ahead to what you’re going to say and providing feedback for what you have heard. A good conversation is a poetic balance where each participant takes his turn at listening and talking.
It would be an honor to have a conversation with you, Kristin! What a special gift you are offering to the lucky winner!
I hope you and Jean-Marc are feeling better.
Don’t despair. You’re just becoming French! One of the true characteristics of being French is for everyone to speak at the same time and no one listening. I have seen this over and over with my French husband and his friends, his family members, and at parties. Everyone chatting away while no one is listening to each other. I used to find it annoying; now I find it quite humorous. So be happy – you are just integrating! Cynthia in the French Alps
oh, this would be far better than an old rusty cle! Kidding aside, it would be wonderful to talk with you. And I guess that is my answer to listening. One speaks WITH another….in other words, both speak and both listen. Take time to listen and take time to speak.That way both parties benefit. Listening really is an interesting concept. You can listen to another speak and take in their words and respond, or one can listen to the ocean, the wind, birds, the rain, trains and a multitude of other things that do not require that you respond.Although, I must admit that I talk with a blue jay that has decided to walk into my kitchen quite frequently. Mainly, I just tell her “out”. Sometimes she listens and other times flies up to the top of one of the kitchen chairs and just watches me. Oh dear, will we have to talk in French? I am a bit limited in putting sentences together properly.
Sweet dreams.
The best listeners use few words.
What a pleasure to see a photo of one of our favorite restaurants–Le Pied de Nez. My husband and I eat there each time we visit friends in nearby La Cardière d’Azur. The view from the terrace is magnifique and is the “lieu où se trouve les couverts préferés quand il fait beau”!
The phrase isn’t ‘edgewise’, it’s ‘edgeways’. As in, your voice can’t get round the edges of the conversation, you can’t creep in, you can’t get in edgeways, let alone any other ‘ways’!
Wow! So many postings! I never win anything, so I missed that part. I was writing to compliment you on your French, Kristin. C’est magnifique! Your r’s are so français, liaisons so parfaites, and pauses excellentes! Bravo. How many years would I have to live there to not sound American? Many years ago, at the University of Wisconsin, I had a dream that some day someone would take me for a native Française. Until I saw the rating scale for French fluency! The highest ranking was “Near native.” Then I realized that unless a person were raised in that country, how could they ever catch up on nursery rhymes, slang, gestures, movies, movie stars, history, geography, songs, books, le Bac, customs, holidays, etc. I could never begin to work a crossword puzzle from a country other than the U.S. I’ll always be an outsider to some extent. So…that is why I think you do a fantastic job as a wife and mother over there; and as an educator to the rest of us, your students, all over the world. Merci mille fois.
When listening to teenagers, grab a banana, peel it and keep one end of the banana in your mouth. And do not talk with banana in your mouth! If you don’t have a banana handy just pretend you do!
It was delightful to hear your voice (from 2/20 audio file). Hope you will do it more often.