For this coming Sunday: Happy Mother’s Day to all mamans, whether here in our homes or forever in our hearts.
TODAY’S WORD: la tendresse: tenderness, affection
PRONUNCIATION: [lah tahn-dress]
EXAMPLE SENTENCE:
Il y avait tant de tendresse dans le regard de ma mère que tout semblait soudain plus léger.
There was such tenderness in my mother’s gaze that everything suddenly felt lighter.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
If Love Was a Gaze
Mother’s Day is just around the corner—this Sunday in the US, and May 31st here in France. While I have yet to buy a gift for Mom, something more precious is coming…for both of us.
Yesterday afternoon, I returned to Mom’s studio with a bag full of médicaments. Ricci followed me in, hopping onto the bed to settle beside her, her soft, furry head resting on Mom’s side.
“Lunch will be ready soon!” I said, taking Mom’s hand. “And good news—we’ve got all your meds. The pharmacist refilled everything.”
That very day, April 27, her health insurance had, once again, reached l’échéance. In the coming weeks, we’ll be in a bit of administrative limbo, and that uncertainty adds to the wobbly road we’re on. But just for today, just for this moment, I am at peace.
Ricci now tended to Mom, licking the sleeves of her pajamas as if caring for her. Next, our furry nurse rolled around playfully. Meanwhile, I opened the curtains and placed the boxes of medication in the desk drawer for the nurses, carefully lining everything up in neat rows, when I heard Mom’s soft voice.
“You are so precious.”
Sensing Mom watching me, I stopped fussing with the supplies and turned around.
“You are just so adorable,” she repeated.
Me, adorable? Ma foi! Wasn’t I the rule-enforcing sergeant? The one saying, “Mom, you can’t eat lying down,” or “You need to put some socks on”? How many times had my free-spirited mom rolled her eyes at another sermon from buzzkill Kristi? The French have a perfect word for such killjoys: le rabat-joie—literally, one who brings down the joy. It’s often how I feel when “helping” Mom. In my imagination, Mom will forever be the exotic gypsy and I the straight-laced nerd.
But today, I wasn’t an ogre—I was adorable.
I went to sit beside her on the edge of the bed.
“Thank you, Mom,” I smiled, squeezing her hand. “I do my best. I know I can be snippy at times, but…” I paused. “You know how much I love you. You do, don’t you?”
“I do,” she smiled.
As Mom gazed at me, there was such tendresse in her expression that I felt awash in her love. For a moment, I saw myself the way she did—and everything brightened.
FRENCH VOCABULARY
la tendresse = tenderness, affection
l’échéance = deadline, expiration date
le médicament = medication
ma foi! = my goodness!
le sermon = lecture
le rabat-joie = killjoy; party-pooper
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What a lovely woman she is, your mum. And you can see where you get your beauty from!
Ah, Kristi…so lucky to have your mom still and at a phase where you can see each other with tenderness and acceptance. Je t’émbrasse fort! Jo Ellen
Words fail. And your maman…what a femme fatale, so talented, so beautiful. Passed it on, too….
What a wonderful tribute to your mom, who is so fabulous! A very happy Mother’s Day to Both of you.
What a beautiful, thoughtful post as always, and the photos are just wonderful.
My sister and I took care of our mom the last two years of her life, when she was confined to her bed and a wheelchair. I don’t regret a moment of that time. Take care.
Ophelia
lovely and obviously heartfelt feelings. BTW, a typo – “Ricci has had two liters before she came to live with us” – the word liters should be litters.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom!
Lovely photos of a happy life together. La famille super!
Kristi, you’re are a wonderful daughter and adorable! The photo of your mom through the years capture not only her spirits and beauty but so much love. How wonderful to have her with you and the family.
Happy Mother’s Day to you both.
Lovely pictures. Happy Mother’s Day!
HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY TO ALL!
Bonjour, adorable Kristi: What a warm, loving, testimonial to your mom & all moms. I sit here now with tears streaming as I remember my mom (more often with love & fondness than frustration & anger sometimes). But, yesterday, my nephew brought the ashes of my beloved sister & brother-in-law for us to remember them & keep them close. It’s never too late to say “I love you & miss you”. Amor et a biento. Ann
How absolutely beautiful you all are! There is nothing like Motherly love! Happy Mother’s Day to you and to your lovely Mom!!!! Thank you for sharing! Jackie
Our dear Kristi,
Bon Fete des Mamans to two of the most beautiful ladies I’m privileged to have in my life– of course,mes cheres, you and Jules! Your post and glorious pictures brought tears to my eyes. What a gift to have each other! And! Even more, to be so aware ,appreciative and grateful for these most gracious of blessings!
I so much miss Mama,going on 60 years now since her passing,but I see the light in both of your eyes, hear the love you have for each other,and I feel my beautiful Mother whispering those same words to me and wrapping me in her heavenly embrace as only a mother can bestow on her daughter.
Thank you from my heart for this gentle and ever lasting reminder that her essence,devotion and love is forever within me.
Arms so tight around you all
Love
Natalia xo
I love reading about your mother. I hope you write a book bout her!
Kristi, not only are you and your mother beautiful, but you are both an inspiration to me. My family and I lived in Paris for eight years, and we loved our vacations in Cassis. Tragically, my daughter is quite ill, and I am no longer able to leave her to travel to France, the other love of mine. I love your blog because it is a reminder of a part of my life. Thank you so much for opening up your world to us. I hasten to add Jules was a very talented artist!
What a wonderful post! I no longer have a mother, mother-in-law or grandmother but I hold their memories dear…and your Maman is just lovely and she loves dogs which is a terrific recommendation! Thank you for sharing your life and loves…especially that Ricci!
What a wonderful post! I always love seeing photos of Jules. I especially loved the one of you, Heidi, Jules and your grandmother. That wonderful smile you all have is what I find so encouraging and love to see. 🙂 Life goes by so quickly.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom! Loved seeing the photos of all of you, especially the ones with your mom.
Chère, Kristi,
C’est un hommage très, très émouvant que tu avais écrit. Ça me touche beaucoup. Merci mille fois pour tes photos, la vidéo, and l’histoire qui expriment la valeur de la tendresse et les soins dans ta vie en famille.
Dear Kristi, looking at your wonderful collection of ‘souvenirs’ I am conscious that the time we have with our mothers (and the time mothers have with their children) is a blessing. Although we see our mums enter the twilight years and sometimes becoming more frail an dependent, this too is a blessing because we have had our mothers with us for a long time. Your mum has aged so gracefully and your stories of faith and caring love are an inspiration to us all. Happy Mothers Day!
❤️
You are ALL adorable! Happy Mother’s Day to you all!
Happy Mother’s Day to Jules and to you, Kristi! What a gorgeous page – the words and the photographs. So sweet to see all of you over the years. I understand the difficulties of caretaking. Totally. The meds, the uncertainties, etc. I think of you and your mom almost every day as I care for my near-90 year old husband. Thanks so much for the beauty and the tendresse. xoxoxo
What a lovely, poignant story for Mother’s Day, Kristi. I’ve followed yours and Jules’ relationship for years now. You are able to let your readers feel as if we are there with you as you write of your daily, ordinary lives which are really extraordinary. There is so much love expressed in your words and activities. Thank you for sharing with us.
P.S. The picture of you and Jules on the bus in Puerto Vallarta brings back many good memories as Rich and I have spent many vacations in PV and riding the bus! Such fun.
Wonderful story and pictures. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing such a lovely tribute! Your mother is a goddess, so talented and beautiful. The love comes across so purely, her love for family, animal companions, friends; that love is in her warm and radiant smile, your smile, never-ending, always bringing joy in everything you do, in every moment, and beyond.
I am enjoying all these pictures of your vibrant mom through the years! Yes, as the others have said, the tenderness and love within your family is very evident and your stories are heartwarming. Now I’m enjoying Jackie’s writing as well, and hearing both mother/ daughter perspectives. Thanks to you both for sharing!
Somehow missed this post- hope you had a lovely Mother’s Day (or will have). You show your love for your mother by the care you give her on a daily basis. She is blessed to have you welcome her into your home and heart. It can be challenging to be a caregiver but you do it with grace and kindness. Thank you for sharing your photos of all of you through the years. I wish that kindness be returned to you a thousand fold.
Your Mom is a beautiful and exceptional woman worthy of a celebration.