HOMMAGE
On Friday, near midnight, Frédéric Chollet passed away after a long illness. I learned the news in a message sent from South Africa:
“Fred est parti.”
Fred… he was the one who picked me up at the Marseille airport when I moved to France. I’ll never forget stepping off the plane in my cowboy boots, fresh from the Arizona desert—a sharp contrast to Fred’s elegant loafers and button-down shirt. He was the quintessential Frenchman, and Jean-Marc’s best friend.
“Jean-Marc is working late. He sent me to get you. He’ll be off soon,” Fred explained. “We can wait at my parents’.”
Fred’s parents, Marianne and Michel, would become a kind of blueprint family for us. Every Tuesday night we ate Marianne’s casseroles and later settled onto the facing couches in the salon for an after-dinner drink. Antoine, Fred’s younger brother, made me laugh with his broken English and charming antics. Close-knit, they were a model for Jean-Marc and me, who would soon tie the knot.
They later let us stay at their apartment in the Alps when Jean-Marc asked me to marry him, along the Guisane River. Not long afterward, Fred served as Jean-Marc’s témoin—his best man—at our wedding.
We would return time and again to the Alps, making so many good memories there with the family—and with Fred: rounds of belote at the dining room table, Marianne’s lasagna, and long summer evenings of pétanque in the mountain air. Fred’s péché mignon was chocolate, and there was usually a square or two in the kitchen cupboard.
I’ll never forget Fred driving us through the Alps to Italy, the car winding along a steep mountain road. I was six months pregnant with Max, and all those maternal hormones had kicked in.
“Fred!” I gasped from the back seat. “On n’est pas immortels!”
The phrase would become our clin d’œil. Fred would repeat it with a thick American accent, making me feel like I was still part of the circle—even if I didn’t attend every social gathering or join the jovial group of skiers.
After Max was born, Fred became his parrain, or godfather. During winter breaks chez les Chollet in Serre Chevalier, Fred taught our kids to ski. In the summer he taught them tennis. In the evenings, before all the adults gathered for a night out, he took them, along with his own children, Clémence and Matthieu, to jump on the Alpine trampoline or ride the thrilling go-carts.
Lovable, funny, elegant, and gifted with repartee, Fred had many admirers and lived a full life in his 57 years. As Maître Frédéric Chollet, he built a successful law career in Marseille. Later, he married Béné, with whom he shared many happy years—renovating, traveling, and entertaining friends.
His passion for sports led him, along with two friends, to create the Sport & Business Club. Over the years, the club hosted well-known figures including Bernard Tapie, Alain Prost, and Laure Manaudou. Fred was also involved with the association Sourire à la Vie, which supports children and teenagers fighting cancer.
When American boxer Marvelous Marvin Hagler was scheduled to speak, Fred called me. “We need an interpreter for the evening.” I was so touched by this thoughtful invitation at a time when we’d moved north, to an isolated vineyard. Fred had a way of remembering people—and including them.
Jean-Marc tried everything to make it home from South Africa to attend Fred’s funeral. Desperate, he booked a ticket through Dubai—but it was canceled because of the war.
“I’m relieved you won’t be on that plane,” I told him during a phone call while out for a walk. “Max and I will attend.”
After I hung up, I finally took the time to sit down on one of the benches I usually speed past. There, overlooking the Mediterranean, the sun glowed behind the clouds.
On n’est pas immortels… I remembered the words once more. No longer a frantic statement or an inside joke, they now formed a bridge from this bench to the clouds, the sun behind them, and the great mystery beyond.
Fred, wherever you are, you know the answer.
🎾🎾🎾
FRENCH VOCABULARY
Fred est parti = Fred has left / Fred has passed away
le témoin = best man
la belote = a popular French card game
la pétanque = a French bowling game similar to bocce
le péché mignon = a small guilty pleasure; a weakness for something one enjoys
On n’est pas immortels = we are not immortal
le clin d’œil = a knowing wink; an inside reference or shared joke
le parrain = godfather
chez les Chollet = at the Chollet family’s home
Maître = title used for a lawyer in France
🎾🎾🎾
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My sincerest condolences to you all. What a terrible shock this must be. I pray that happy memories and gratitude for time spent together will sustain you all as you grieve.
I am so sorry for your loss as a family. He was so young! Good friends and good memories are hard to replace. Keep them close to your heart. My condolences. Sue Shaffer
I’m so sorry Kristi and Family, and for all who loved him too. A very touching tribute. And not too late. This is about the part of us that does not pass away (our immortal heart!) xo
I am so sorry for this deep sadness. He sounds like an extraordinary person. May all your beautiful memories be a blessing to you and your family, his family and all who knew him.
Dear Kristi, my deepest condolences for the loss of this lovely man who was so integral to your life in France and all your family. Big hugs to Jean-Marc. I hope all the wonderful memories of Fred will comfort you.
Kristi, I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved friend, Fred. It’s so hard to let our angels go. I send you, Jean-Marc and all your family my sincere condolences.
I am so sorry for your loss of such a wonderful family friend. Thinking of you and yours, and sending you hugs from here.
Deepest condolences on the loss of your “ best man.” May your memories sustain you in the days ahead.
I’m sorry for your loss, so young.
You wrote a lovely tribute.
Elaine
Beautiful tribute. His spirit will be with you and your family always.
Dear Kristi,
My deepest condolences to your family on the loss of your dear friend, Fred. Your remembrance was lovely, a beautiful tribute to a life well-lived and now long remembered. So sorry for your loss, J-M.
Patty
Dear Kristi,
I am heart broken for your loss of Fred. Long-time friends of such generosity of spirit, love, and loyalty who are deeply integrated in your lives come along rarely. Condolences to Jean-Marc as he mourns his best friend.
Un vrai gentilhomme qui possedait un grand coeur et aimait partageait la joie de vivre. Il est parti bien trop tot….
I am so sorry for the passing of your dear friend and the grief you all are experiencing. Clearly Fred had great significance in your lives and will be remembered with deep gratitude for the blessing he was to you. May the God of all comfort be with you as you mourn and remember Fred’s life among you.
Kristi—so sorry for your loss. The photos depict so much love and joy. Thank you for posting this. We all need to see evidence of lives well lived and loved, especially now.
I am sad & I didn’t even know him. Way too young! Hope he didn’t suffer badly with the illness. So sorry for your loss. God bless & give you & all the ones who loved Fred peace.
Very sorry for your loss. A friendship like that is very special and you must have many good memories. Hugs to all of you.
Such a beautiful tribute.
A very moving tribute. Bien écrit!
It is so hard to lose those we love! And harder when they don’t live the proverbial three score and ten years, or a bit more. I hope Fred didn’t suffer much from his disease. But the “value” of a life is not in its length, but in its quality. Fred sounds like such a gem. When I think of people who have passed on, I remember Tennyson’s line: “‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
A beautiful tribute!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristi! He sounds like a wonderful man ❤️
Kristie, I am so sorry for your, Jean Marc’s and the family’s loss of such a beloved and important friend in all your lives. Loss is always sad and at such a young age is even more gut-wrenching. I know eternal love and happy memories will sustain each of your through this sad time. Hugs
So sorry for the loss of your dear Fred ❤️
Our dear Kristi ,
This is such a loving tribute that I’ m certain Fred ( and his family as well)would be honored to have had the privilege to be in each other’s lives as cherished friends.
What a gift God gave you!
We send our deepest sympathies for this loss .Made more sad because Fred was so young.
The pictures you shared are wonderful ,and absolutely keep his memory burning bright in your hearts.
Courage and strength mes cheres.
Arms around you tight.
Love
Natalia. Xo
C’est triste, cette histoire.
I am so sorry for your loss of a dear friend.
Dear Kristi,
Each and every comment from your many caring readers has been moving and beautiful, inspired by your incredible tribute. Yes, we do feel as though we knew Fred, and that is testament to the power of your remarkable words. I was especially moved by your closing thoughts.
Thank you for sharing with us this tender story. May Jean-Marc and all who loved Fred find peace.
Requiescat in pace Fred
Kristi
To have had a man like Fred in your life is such a blessing. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing your loving tribute to Fred.
Awful news, but a lovely tribute. True friendship, especially that which stretches over many years, even generations, is such a blessing. My condolences to you all.
A touching tribute to friendship. Savor each memory and it will bring you solace in your loss.
Oh, my, I am very sorry for the loss of your dear friend who has been in your lives for many years. He has been woven into your stories as well, as I recognize the mentions of the Alps and other places. Thank you for sharing this tribute to Fred with us. I am sending you and your family our deepest condolences.
Thank you for sharing your loving tribute to your friend Fred. I was truly touching. May your warm memories sustain you.
Feeling your deep love and respect for such an extraordinary human being… 🙏
Sending heartfelt sympathies to your family, his family, and all who had the absolute good fortune to have known him. May his legacy and subtle presence continue to delight you and give you peace.
Chere Madame………..votre commentaire de Fred etait tres touchant. Merci pour partargant avec nous. Jed
I am so sorry for the loss of your very special friend. Your memories you shared were very special and what a beautiful soul.
I am so sorry for your loss. What an amazing man!
Dear Kristi: I was so saddened to hear of the death of your dear Fred. He was so much more than a friend; he was an “influencer” (in today’s jargon). He provided you & your family with love, attentiveness, activity, laughter, guidance, respect. Your words do him justice; your hearts will hold him closely. I know he will be greatly missed. Ann
So sad for your loss. Fred sounds like he was an amazing friend, godfather and husband. Our prayers and thoughts are with you all.. Susan
Sincere Condolences on the loss of your life-long friend. Travel slowly through your grief. In time it will comfort you. Eileen Burns
What a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to a dear, wonderful friend. Thank you for sharing these stories with all of us. Am thinking of you all.
Kristi, what a lovely remembrance to celebrate the life of your dear friend, Fred. He will live on in the memories of every one of the lives he touched through the years. Your family was so fortunate to have had such a devoted friend. My condolences to you all, but to Jean-Marc especially, on the passing of his close friend. ❤️
Kristi,
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Fred seemed to be a unique and wonderful guy. I feel for you. My husband Didier’s best friend Ty died after a 3 week illness. He was also 57. It was all so sudden. Please know many people are thinking about you all and I hope Marc will be ok.
So very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. He was a beautiful person.
Many prayers for all who loved him.
Condolences for the loss of Fred.
Kristi
Thank you so much for opening your heart to us (you always do) with these special tender moments of your family’s friendship with Paul. A friend such as this is very rare. He will be always in all of your memories. You were blessed with a gift that will never be forgotten. I’m so sorry he is gone but you let us hear about him and I feel so honored that you shared with us.
Thank you for sharing Fred with us! But I must say…I was deeply moved by your words and the photos (!) of Fred. What a wonderful man he was and so good to you and Jean-Marc. You were blessed…
A simply beautiful tribute, Kristen. My sincere condolences on the loss of your dear friend.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to Fred! May he rest in wholeness and peace.