The sea and coastline, or littoral, in La Ciotat, France
TODAY'S WORD: TRÉPIDANT
: frantic, hectic, chaotic, turbulent
: exciting, thrilling, exhilarating
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
Out on a morning walk with Izzy The Pocket Beagle, my mind jumps from thought to unrelated thought: Does organic milk have growth hormones? Do readers unsubscribe when I write about non-French-related topics? Is it time to rename my blog to better reflect the theme of my writing? What about an anti-depressant? Should I wash that gray right out of my hair?
So much mind talk! As I walk, I am aware of a high-level anxiety that has moved in lately. Is it that second cup of coffee? Or could it be hormonale? Though September is a little trépidant, what with la rentrée, there is nothing particularly stressful going on in my life. I'm just frustrated about goals that are not being reached on time (everything from home improvement to health). Struggling to get in my morning steps, tugging at Must Sniff Everything Izzy, yet another idea materializes, pushing aside all the other flotsam in my mind: Même effort. Même resultat.
Same effort. Same result.
Could it be that I am not really making enough of an effort when it comes right down to it? Argh! With that thought, my anxiety ramps up a notch…and I walk, and I walk! Rounding a corner we come to an abrupt halt when Izzy decides to pee in front of la boulangerie. I watch the deep golden puddle begin to trickle down the sidewalk, aware that no amount of effort could pick that up. This liquid mess is suddenly symbolic of Things Impossible to Handle. Things out of our control. Perhaps même effort = même résultat isn’t the only equation.
"Lord, I turn this ALL over to you. All of it. Everything from le pipi to the need to achieve. It is in your mighty hands. Amen."
Looking out over the golden-trickled boardwalk, I notice a woman d'un certain âge in the glittering turquoise bay. Wading waist-deep in the sea, she's wearing a large floppy hat and pushing a purple donut-shaped raft. Inside there's a scrawny Chihuahua. I am not sure what the lord has in mind with this lively image that followed my prayer, but now that I've settled down to describe it I think I might be that Chihuahua. And Lord, you know who you are. You are the one pushing this little purple boat, la paix qui dépasse toute compréhension.
* * *
Izzy in the blue fauteuil.
COMMENTS
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REMERCIEMENTS
Thanks in advance to readers considering sending in a blog donation for the first time. Your contribution will go a long way not only in backing this journal but also in encouraging me to keep this publication going. Your support means a lot, and I'm truly grateful. Amicalement, Kristi
FRENCH VOCABULARY
Click here to listen to Jean-Marc pronounce the French
le littoral = coastline
trépidant = hectic
hormonale = hormonal
la rentrée = back to school, back to work
même effort. même resultat = same effort. same result
la boulangerie = bakery
le pipi = pee
d'un certain âge = of a certain age
la paix qui dépasse toute compréhension = the peace that passes all understanding
From our coastline to yours, Morocco you are in our hearts. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the citizens of Morocco following the devastating earthquake last Friday, near Marrakech. We are saddened and sorry for the anguish and loss Moroccans are experiencing.
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Kristi-What an honest and heartfelt post. Hopefully you know how many of us feel those same feelings, for whatever reason. And thank you for the reminder that we can turn it all over to the One in charge. This life is beautiful in so many ways and it’s up to us to find it.
Big smile from that word picture of the chihuahua being pushed gently in the purple donut! But I do think God expects a little effort on our parts as well.
Thank you for the honest reflection! As a teacher, I find this sentence to be of strange comfort: “Though September is a little trépidant, what with la rentrée, there is nothing particularly stressful going on in my life.” Appreciate also your prayer. Reminds me of the serenity prayer.
Thank you, for sharing.
Love your site.
You described what happens to me.
Blessings,
Helga
Just saw this quote the other day… Very fitting for you dear friend!
“Anxiety is literally just conspiracy theories about yourself”
Love & hugs to you & yours!
What a great post. I can relate to it so much.
Nothing is really wrong, but nothing feels easy.
Everything feels overwhelming.
I love the link to your other post(Only for today).
And Amber,above, I am sending your phrase to my good friend and fellow conspiracy theorist.
Merci!
What a nice ending – Philippians 4:6-7. Relevant in my life currently – no other way to go!
I’ve been reading your posts for many years. I love your detailed descriptions of life in France, it gives a glimpse into a time & place, that has become larger than my imagination. Your struggles & joys are mine too. Even though I live In Oregon, USA our journey’s on this planet, aren’t so different. It’s the small details that are so alive, and intriguing.
I’ll read your blog, regardless of its name!
Blessings & Love
Share
Kristi, did you take the final photo accompanying the words about Morocco? The image is beautiful.
I love reading about whatever is going on in your life. Just like mine, life is all over the place!
I’ve just discovered “breath prayers”. A perfect combination of good deep breathing techniques for the body AND breathing in a verse of promise, comfort, encouragement or whatever for my soul.
A favorite is Ps 23: on the inhale, “The Lord is my shepherd “ and on the exhale, “I have all I need.”
Or, “Lord, I believe” on the inhale and “Lord, help my unbelief” on the exhale.
Whatever verse speaks to you can be used.
I learned so much reading “Breath as Prayer” by Jennifer Tucker.
Blessing to you,
Brenda
(Sorry this is so long…and I’m in East Tenn enjoying a gorgeous early fall day..if your Dad is reading)
Ok….I see from the above comments I am going to be the one who is taking a different approach. Stop beating yourself and thinking you are “less than” because you didn’t do or think of something differently. Try to drain your mind of all negative thoughts and tell yourself “I am going to enjoy the day” Not all days will be perfect or even close, but take each for what they are and wrap yourself around them. So Izzy peed….dogs do that If you had some drinking water on you for your walk you could have poured some on it,, but you didn’t and it isn’t the end of the world. Our days here are not forever, so take advantage of each one you have. Hugs
Our dear Kristi,
First thing to be certain of: your fortunate readers( beginning with me!) would NEVER unsubscribe to your wonderful blog, regardless of whatever topic you chose to write about !!!
Your honesty, your insights and your inspiration never fail to fill us with smiles,hugs,and reasons to see the silver lining surrounding every cloud, even on the grayest of days. And always, just when we need it most! What a gift this is!!
THANK YOU!!
And! Love the picture of Izzy. What a sweetie!!You two have very definitely bonded and become quite a formidable team!!
Blessings ma chere, to you and your beautiful family.
Love
Natalia XO
Dear Kristi,
Maybe the lesson was to put on a floppy hat and play with Izzy in the water rather than have your morning walk be a point of achievement. Perhaps viewing those times play would achieve even better health benefits?
xxx,
Karen
Dearest Kristi,
Maybe the lesson was to put on a floppy hat and play with Izzy in the water rather than have your morning walk be a point of achievement. Perhaps viewing those times as play would achieve even greater health benefits?
xxx,
Karen
Thank you so much, chère Natalia. Your loving words really touch me. ♥️♥️♥️
I love this perpective, Karen. I need to try it! I hear Izzy doesn’t like the water, but perhaps she will show us another way to play.
Perhaps one of your strengths as a blog writer is that you have critical thinking. But sometimes being critical can cause anxiety, especially if the criticism is self-directed. A trick that works for some (and me, at times) is to ask yourself what you might be feeling anxious about. Sometimes, a seemingly unrelated work pops into mind, which may be a clue.
As for me, I enjoy reading your blog for the very reason you named it originally: a French word a day. I still enjoy the small bits of French vocabulary that you include, regardless of topic.
My interpretation of your “vision” was that you were the woman in the water pushing your pocket beagle about. Perhaps you have been feeling a little “at sea” (Yes, a bad pun, but maybe a clue of sorts). Your blog has always suggested (to me, at least) that you do best when you feel a sense of purpose and direction. Pick something!
Joie, Thank you for your words:
“Take each for what they are and wrap yourself around them.”
Thank you, Ron! Your words mean a lot and I am touched by your message, which I have taken to heart.
Great idea, Brenda! Good to learn about breath prayers. Now to try them.
Bonne rentrée, Tim. So good to read your comment.
Thank you, Kathie. Yes, I did, in Oualidia, Morocco in 2009.
Dear, dear Kristi, My guess is that it is hormonale. Once you get past it, you too will feel as free as a bird once you become d’un certain age….Trust me! Been there, done that!…Older is better! Meanwhile, just try to ride it out. There will be joyful little signs everywhere, like the doggie on the raft. With much love, Eileen
Dear Kristi.
Your inspirational message has so raised my spirits. Our family has been struggling with the seemingly impossible lately and in that struggle I have been forgetting my real source of sustenance, faith. With your reminder I shall endeavor to reconnect with that ever underlying faith and… the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Your words bring such precious gifts to others.
Chère Kristi, thank you so much for your post today. I’m praying for God to give you His peace. Psalm 90:14 is one of my favorite verses from the Bible. It helps me to refocus and I hope it will do the same for you. ” Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” His unfailing love for me is what I cling to every day. God’s blessings to you and your family.
Chère Kristi, thank you so much for your post today. I’m praying for God to give you His peace. Psalm 90:14 is one of my favorite verses from the Bible. It helps me to refocus and I hope it will do the same for you. ” Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” His unfailing love for me is what I cling to every day. God’s blessings to you and your family.
Chère Kristi, thank you so much for your post today. I’m praying for God to give you His peace. Psalm 90:14 is one of my favorite verses from the Bible. It helps me to refocus and I hope it will do the same for you. ” Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” His unfailing love for me is what I cling to every day. God’s blessings to you and your family.
How often I’ve felt like this! (And usually it’s followed by guilt because I know I really have so much to be grateful for!) Then all it takes is some Divine Intervention to set my thoughts back on track, to once again find the joy and peace in every minute and every situation. Thanks for your post – it’s reassuring to know there are many who feel the same🌻
Hi Kristi. I don’t post very often, but I am a long-time loyal reader and will continue to be no matter what. I never get tired of your posts and love the wide range of topics you muse about — including those self-reflective ones. We all go through periods of worry, doubt and anxiety (what I also like to call ‘awfulizing’) — it is just part of the human experience. Sending hugs and gratitude from Colorado.
my good friend,
this is me, Jean,from Nice.
i write this comment here today so, many people will read it and hopefully contribute with me to the benefit we gain reading your newsletter.
as you write, you may not have much in the way of feed back, but for me, you do a great deal of good work. mind you, i am one eyed because i am from that part of the world.
but i am always interested to read your newsletter, to learn to know you a little bit better each week.
it seems to me that ever since i read your book (and recommended it to my students) “a French word a day”, i have known you and each week, i learn a bit more.
if my advice as some weight, do not stop.
keep in mind that your readers enjoy your thoughts, even if the bulk of them are silent.
jean.
This is late – do you read them after the day has passed? Really does not matter I am going to say it anyway. I will not leave your blog no matter what you write about because your life and experiences while unique to you and your family, include many universal experiences and we all relate in some way. Just read a book by a man who was diagnosed with polio at 9 months – yes months. And he is now in his 60’s and has lived a meaningful life with his wife of many years. If he can do it – we can all do it. Life is a gift and you have it – It took a while but every morning I chose happy and grateful. You are much smarter than I am so I know you can do it as well. You are not alone with these kinds of days. Hugs.
That post was heaven sent
Exactly what I needed as the business of September is flooding me.
Everything is everything
I will exchange le trépidant pour la paix de Dieu
This post resonates with so many. The world itself has become more and more unpredictable, it has become hard to put plans in place in so many venues. With a project or problem, I am often now stuck “do I turn right or do I turn left?” when a decade ago I would have just moved whatever it is forward. And I hate to put this in writing, but it becomes harder and harder to have plans and goals in place and have others help & respect them once a woman is over 50. The world does not respect older type women who still have goals. I had a dear friend in my horse show world say that when one is an older woman, unless you come with a lot of money to throw at things, people just don’t care as much as when you are young with aspirations. So know you are not alone. 6000 miles away, in a different scenario, the same feelings and thoughts are alive and well and interrupting many starry nights.