A very short and (hopefully) funny story to ease you past the holiday rush. Enjoy. The regular edition will be back after Christmas. All best wishes to you however you may celebrate.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
Yesterday in church I noticed a young man (35ish?) glancing at me. Tall, with longish, rich brown hair, he was a new face at Sunday service. After a few more of his glances, perceived from the corner of my eye, I looked back at the stranger whose regard met mine, with a smile. I quickly returned to the songbook in my hands, my eyes now glued to Amazing Grace.
Before long, and a couple of he-stares later, my mind began to interpret things in a most colorful manner. Why did he keep looking over at me? Perhaps it was the new way in which I am wearing my hair, wavy and free? My thoughts continued along that (unusually confident) theme until I corraled them, in time to focus on the words of Grace Infinie.
Ô grâce infinie qui vint sauver
Un pêcheur tel que moi!
J'étais perdu, Il m'a trouvé,
J'étais aveugle, je vois.
Next we closed our hymnals, and I settled into my pew, to listen to the pastor read from John 6, and talk about the meaning behind the bread and grape juice we were about to consume. He spoke about how various churches interpreted the symbols differently (Ouf! I wasn't the only one interpreting things!).
Speaking of interpretations, Mr Glance, was at it again… This time, on seeing I was without my Bible, he handed me his own. Gosh, he was attentive and I did not know how to interpret this attention. But when after church the tall, dark gallant (can that be a noun?) walked up to me, I braced myself, preparing to flash my wedding ring! Instead, his words rang in my ears:
"Bonjour. I haven't seen you here before."
"Oh, yes. I'm new."
"What brings you to La Ciotat?" he smiled, but before I could answer he offered a guess: "…La retrait?"
Retirement???
(At this point in my story, I may as well type LA FIN, because it really was the end of any and all illusions. All those adoring looks, those attentive glances–were surely because I reminded him of his grand-mère!)
Mr Glance's question hung in the air and, not wanting to correct (and so embarrass him), I mumbled something about my husband bringing me to La Ciotat and hurried out of l'église. I was on my way to a special lunch to celebrate my birthday, which happened to be Le Jour J, or the very day!
(My 52nd and not my 65th–or whatever the age of retirement is here in France!!!)
On a positive note, over lunch my husband offered another possibility as a consolation: "Maybe he thought you were a rich American who came here for an early retirement?"
I'm not sure that explanation soothes my busted ego. But it does get my imagination going once again, and suddenly I see a beach, a faux pina colada, and suitcases of dollar bills–seagulls flying overhead and a gentle breeze. There, there now. Just let those words float away.
* * *
Dear Reader, when is the last time you were stung by a comment? I'll never forget the time I wore an ill-fitting dress and someone asked me when was the baby due? Tell us about an aggravating remark you once received, in the comment below. I could use a good laugh! Couldn't we all?
A little older. A little grayer. A little more thick-skinned. But no where near ready to retire! (Thanks, Mom, for the photo.)
At least not until I have finished my story.
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je l’amie!
Hi Kristi,
I LOVE this story and the photos of you and Jean Marc! Happy belated birthday too! I was at the supermarket the other day and the young man who bagged my groceries asked if I needed help out!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family!
OK, I will wake up now.
Many years ago I attended an office party to celebrate my friend’’s 40th birthday. The two of us were standing together drinking champagne, reminiscing about the many years we had known and appreciated each other. My friend’’s fairly new office receptionist, only in her early 20’s, was standing near us eavesdropping. At one point the young girl’s jaw dropped and she loudly exclaimed “Oh I can’t believe the two of you have known each other for so long. You look absolutely fantastic for being 60!”
Two photos that need no words! Joyeous Noel – and thereafter.
Eleanor, your friend in Faucon
One night I was having a drink with a friend and we were seated at the bar so that I faced into the rest of the bar. I noticed all the men’s faces turned toward me! I thought, “Wow! I must look good tonight!” Later I realized I was seated under the TV that was playing a basketball game. My ego boost went POOF!
Happiest of birthdays you youngster! My birthday was the day before your’s and yes, I turned 65😞
But, it’s all a state of mind, n’est ce pas😉
Oh, I love it! Thanks Maureen. 😂😂
Joyeux Anniversaire, chère Brenda. 🎉 And thanks for your wise words.
Je vous le dis tout de suite … si votre admirateur pensait “grand-mère” c’est seulement parce qu’il a un fétiche de grand-mère! Non, mais je vous aurais certainement admiré de loin, à l’église ou ailleurs!
And then, when you are in your early 80s and someone says, “Nooo, that’s impossible! I thought you were 65.”, the mistaken age feels like a kiss rather than a sting.
Thanks, Kristi, for your delightful and insightful stories which never fail to brighten my day!
At a neighborhood party, a man my own age asked me if he should help me walk home. I thought I looked younger than him!
Pssst – LA Fin…though will quickly add that for 35 years of speaking French, I still think ‘FIN’ should be un mot masculin. 🙂
The worst shot to my youth happened on our daughter’s 21st birthday. My husband was away on business and so I had do the honors solo. She wanted to go out to dinner and order her first legal drink. Our birthday girl sat between her 10 and 12 year old siblings, helping them with the menu. When the hibachi chef took our orders, he referred to me as “grandma”!!! Apparently the nincompoop thought she and our 17yr old son were their parents? And the restaurant was byob-unbeknownst to us. A disaster on so many fronts 🙁
Oh dear Kristi, age is just a number! Your beautiful maman is the perfect example … living proof. Joyeuses fêtes à toute la famille <3
Thanks, Rhonda. Off to fix it. 👌
Pour quelque raison nous sentons plus jeunes à l’esprit que nous voyons au miroir. Mais tu paraît très belles et jeune aux deux. Bonne anniversaire ma belle chérie! Joyeux Noël et bonne année à toi et toute la famille!!
Mille mercis, Andrew !
Oh, Teresa, I feel for you! Thanks for sharing.
I seems obvious to me Kristi …. he mistook you for Michelle Pfeiffer, the actress. He wondered whether you had retired early from acting as you had made your millions.
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. Hoping 2020 brings you peace and joy and thank you for sharing your life in France with all of us.
Love it. 😂 Thank you, Linda! 💞
Merci, Teresa!
Everyone truly loves his or her grandmother if they have been fortunate enough to have known her or even to have lived with her. So … to be reminded of someone’s grandmother (or mother) is a great compliment!
Happy Birthday! Many thanks for the lovely photos expressing love! My appreciation and thanks for all of your writings and sharing during the entire year. Best wishes for 2020!
Happy Birthday Kristin! I attended my 50th high school reunion this year and still loving my work, so just go with the flow. My philosophy (No, I’m not the originator of this, but I have adopted it): Growing older is not an option, but growing old is. And to that end, I wear a short sassy haircut with added red, or purple in places attend Zumba and shake my booty with the best of them and go on 8-10 mile hikes.
I was told at church “ wow! your weight really does fluctuate” and her husband told Me he was sorry to say this- but I just “looked so fat in my church clothes”! That couple was super blunt that day I guess… Also in the past, someone I loved very much said I had old lady boobies after my first child. You just don’t forget those things, but now I’m like you know, they are not Prince Charming lol
Thank you, Cynthia 💕
Definitely an inaccurate interpretation of the interest. You’re a beautiful woman – so J-M’s interpretation is far more likely. You are definitely far from the grandma image. But even so, I’m sure anyone would love to have a grandma as young and vibrant as you are. Don’t put yourself down.
Oui, “la fin” est feminin, tout comme la “retaite” avec un “e” a la fin. C’est merveilleux d’etre admiree, meme si c’est pour d’autres raisons de faire son propre cinema. Cet homme est tres intentionne, voulant t’aider a integrer la communaute.
peut etre aussi un nouveau client pour Jean Marc?
E & G from California with a house in Les Arcs where we met years ago.
I’m 58. Recently, my husband and I went to see a movie (I haven’t been to a movie theater in several years). After we ordered our tickets, the young man at the desk asked “Senior discount?” We immediately laughed heartily and I asked what the age for the senior rate was. It had never even occurred to me to think about it! I have prematurely all white hair, and I’m quite comfortable with it, because it’s been turning white since I was in my early thirties, but this is the first time anyone has asked about a senior discount! It truly was funny, and I’ve increasingly been noticing that a “number” doesn’t correspond to the way we feel about ourselves. I still feel like I’m at least ten years younger, but it’s nice to let humility reign and just let it roll off! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
I was dropping off a donation at Goodwill with my 2 year old daughter. While admittedly I was an older mom, there were plenty of moms my age having babies so it never seemed out of the ordinary. The gentleman accepting the donation looked at me and asked me if I was her grandmother… Uhh no – I am her mom. To be fair, I have really dark hair and she is really blonde. I said no – and I gave birth to her! He looked completely shocked. I am grateful every day that I was able to bring her into the world – even if I wasn’t 22 when I did!
So good to hear from you, Emmanuel. Bonjour to G! I still have the lovely bird she made me.
Be welll, be beautiful,be happy! Age IS just a number!
When in London I noticed signs in the Tube, suggesting people offer their seats to the incapacitated and elderly. I thought that was quite civilized and charming until people started insisting I take their seats!
When I was 47, I was involved with a local production of Fiddler on the Roof. An actor in the show as my director for several plays in the late 70’s. I sat next to him at the first meeting and said hello but he didn’t recognize me. I looked closely at him and he at me and his eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “How many years has it been???” Really brought me back to reality which is often a bit depressing! He died a few years after that so I guess I’m grateful that I’m still alive, no matter how I look!
This is such a good story! I can relate, at 58! I looked young for a long time (at least I *think* I did! ;-)) then 20-somethings here in Portland, OR, started calling me “ma’am” and packing my grocery bags lighter at the store–so I tell them they can be very heavy or I pack them myself now. Sheesh! Joyeux Noel et Bonne Annee! Merci pour von merveilleuses histoires!
Having slipped on my diet (encore!) I had someone remark to me that I looked better now that I had put some of my weight back on. Stuck with me and stung, even to this day.
Bon anniversaire, Joyeux Noel, et Bonne Annee
Lorraine
Our dear Kristi,
Am hoping your birthday was as wonderful as you are!!
And Christmas joys still ahead!!
Today’s wonderful post(and so darling pictures!!)just reached out to all of us.
When I was 40,I had just gotten through cancer…Feeling very vulnerable and down about how I looked.
My husband and I were at the airport,seeing someone off.He stepped away to help check in the bags when a colleague came over and said,(with all sincerity)”Your son is really a great guy!”My son?The only “kids we have had are of the four pawed variety!I replied(with just as much sincerity)”You mean my husband?The same great guy who is six years older than I am??” He of course felt like a buffoon but the damage was already done.My already nearly nonexistant ego was shot to smithereens.I went home and cried.
In a very bizarre way he gave me a good lesson:don’t shoot your mouth off without thinking first!!
Love
Natalia. Xo
Last year I was waiting for my husband after we’d had lunch at a restaurant. I struck up a conversation with a 40-something fellow just outside (I was 63 at the time). We chatted amiably about food and hiking for five minutes or so. I thought we were getting along famously. Then he said, Wow, I wish my mother were here. She’d really enjoy talking to you! It took me a minute to process what he meant.
And love continues to bloom at any age.
Kristi, you are still movie-star beautiful, and if you’re beautiful, men don’t care about age.
I know all of us reading are wrapping you in hugs, our dear Natalia! 💕💕 You are so right about the take-away lesson: careful not to shoot our mouths off.
Thanks Cate, for these examples. It is true how even gestures, as much as words, can reveal what others assume about our age!
At a theater design conference a colleague that I hadn’t seen in a long while came up while I was chatting with a mutual friend. Somehow the conversation came around to hair color. The colleague and I are both natural redheads. The friend complemented my hair and the colleague said ” I always wondered what color my hair would be when I got older”. Ouch!
💕💕
Thank you. So true!
LOVE the photos! Joyeaux Noel ❤️😍
“Weight” comments are always iffy. You look great reads as you didn’t look very good before. We are genetically predisposed to look like our grandparents someday, and diet and exercise can do only so much. I went to a weight loss program (that I won’t name) a long time ago, and when my weight started to fluctuate at a good number I hadn’t seen since my teens, the lady in charge told me I was wasting my time and money. I showed her: I went home and ate three chocolate cookies, and didn’t go back there for years. It was very discouraging.
Love, love, love your hair, Kristi! You still look fabulous at 52. Women can be desirable at any age – just look at Brigitte Macron!
Joyeux Noël and Bonne Année to you and your family.
Bonjour et Bonne Anniversaire, Kristin!
J’ai soixante-neuf ans et mes cheveux sont presque tous blancs. Néanmoins, de temps en temps, je reçois des regards des hommes. Donc, j’ai fait l’habitude à me demander s’il y’a une jolie jeune fille en arrière de moi. C’est comment je garde mon cœur. Même si j’ai un visage âgé, ma vie est belle!
Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année