See those cacahuètes above the mushrooms and beside the lychees? More in the following story and lunch with Max and friends.
Today's Word: la cacahuète
: peanut
Peanuts also go by the name arachide, though Jean-Marc tells me cacahuètes (also spelled cacahouètes, which means cacao de terre) are the more popular term.
This cookbook, on my wishlist, is available in hardcover or on ebook or Kindle
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE, by Kristi Espinasse
The upside of three generations living under one toit is that when one family member is sore with you another is completely ignorant of your sins and is still your friend….
As I mope around the house this morning, doing chores to cleanse my soul, I've become aware of this lump in my throat. One thing that works it out (anxiety or unexpressed tears) is sitting down to write even if I'm not gonna tell you who I've unintentionally hurt! What matters is I'm compuncting, which is neither a word in French nor English, but it means you are feeling angoisse from guilt and mistakes you've made.
If mistakes aren't humbling enough, I was moved when my son and his friends wanted me to join them in the garden for lunch (I believe they invited Jules, too, but she's disappeared into her room…). Max went as far as to find me in my room, where I was shelling a factory's worth of peanuts and grinding them between my teeth (there is no greater anxiety relief than this peanut processing activity).
Come on, Mom! Everyone is asking for you! Max said. Hesitant (yet honored a group of young people wanted me at their table), I picked up my jar of nuts and extended it….before yanking it back.
Cacahuètes! Max shouted. Give them to me! The laughter and the tackling (Max pried them away, like a football) put a halt on my compuncting.
Le faux-poivrier or false peppercorn tree…and our Smokey
I wish I had taken a picture of the garden setting, notre basse-cour as Jean-Marc calls it (for the chickens running around)–a bucolic setting for this le déjeuner beneath the Mediterranean blue sky, full sun and warmth (en janvier!), the weeping pepper tree–and Max, Antoine, Zoé, Yann, and Mommy, as they now (jokingly) call me, having learned the story of an adolescent Max, who'd missed the cultural clue about teens calling their mom Mom in the States. How could he have known? Raised in France by an American maman who didn't let him in on the term. Ah well, he eventually figured it out.
And I will eventually figure it out too: what is said and what is not said. If only it were as simple as "Mommy"….
I have no idea how this story is coming across. I hope at the least you have learned a few more French words and, in so doing, we can all better express ourselves, in French, in English, whichever, whenever, pour le mieux.
FRENCH VOCABULARY
le toit = roof
l'angoisse = anxiety
la cacahuète= peanut
la basse-cour = farmyard
le déjeuner = lunch
en janvier = in January
la maman = mom
pour le mieux = for the best (possible outcome)
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A park here in La Ciotat–and a beautiful place to walk, think, and pray for serenity.
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Hi Kristi,
Reading your blog this morning after having my first sip of coffee and my eyes still not focused, I noticed the word on the peanut bag “arachides” and then my eyes went to the bowl and I thought, what a weird peanut shell…must be a French peanut. I’m from Georgia so I know about peanuts. LOL
Are those Lychees in the bowl?
Now go take your Mom out for a walk in the park at La Ciotat or a walk by the sea! A walk in nature soothes everything!
Eileen, those are indeed lychees. And thanks for the lovely suggestion. 💛
Hi Kristi, I really haven’t totally accepted this word for peanuts. The beginning of the word, first two syllables, always reminds me of working medical teams in rural Haiti and directing the ill towards the lab person to give “donations”! We are, always, making memories. Enjoy your time with young Max and not-so-young Jules under the same roof.
I love the whole version of Reinhold Niebuhr’s prayer, which follows the first part with this:
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen
I think snacking on a factory’s worth of peanuts is an excellent way to be “reasonably happy!”
I have a pet peeve with the French over ‘peanuts”: they insist that peanut butter is too rich and will make them fat. They will eat peanuts with an apero, but the minute they see it ground up, they insist it is fattening. I cannot convince them that there need be no other ingredents in it if one buys the natural peanut butter. Of course, this falls on deaf ears, all as they slather nutella on their bread, and gorge on fatty cheeses and desserts- but peanut butter still gets the blame!
Hopefully by the time you read this, the person you unintentionally hurt has understood, and all is well again. Perhaps you both had a little chat of explanations …
Bonne annee a toi et a toute ta famille ! I always thought the word for peanuts was cacahuetes, although I have heard arachide also…but think cacahuetes is cuter! We used to love to play with ” franglais” when I was younger ( much ) and would call them cacadry ( instead of cacawet…infantile, I know but it stuck)
And I agree, a nice long walk dans la nature is best for those pent up feelings of frustration. I wish I still had my ” Mom”, with whom I often had disagreements, not easy to deal with at the time, but then again, I never had to live with her as an adult…and then when they are gone, we forget all the bad and the good memories take over, at least most of the time!!
Bon courage, and thank goodness for fun, handsome sons!
Dear Kristi,
I have come to realize that a comment or action can become offensive because of the way it is perceived rather than the intent with which it is offered. We never know what issues others may be dealing with or what may trigger their issues. What we say can be internalized by the other person, mixed in with whatever is bothering them and then cause upset or anger. I have been stunned by reactions I have unintentionally caused. Sometimes talking it out helps, sometimes not. Communication is so important in relationships but oh so challenging…🤭
Thank you, Chris. This is so true and so helpful. 💛
Hurt, anger, guilt are just the pits!! And those pits can keep rolling around in my stomach like a big heavy bag of talking bowling balls asking the proverbial “why.” Feels so good when I’m finally able to roll one of those balls out and get a spare or maybe even a strike. So much relief to be back in tune with our loved ones! “Things do get better in the end, and if they haven’t yet, then it’s just not the end. Bonne courage! Hope you were able to enjoy Max’ warmth and his welcoming friends!
I have natural peanut butter on my toast every morning and, mainly, because I walk at least 5 kilometres every day I am thin and trim for an 84 year old. I,m 75 kilograms, 174 cm, so it abstotaly mystifying to me the French attitude to arachide.
The wonderful thing about family and true friends is their love of us out ways our glise stupide de la langue.
Love this whole story, Judi. Yes, *so much relief to be back in tune with our loved ones*. Thanks.
Your posts always bring back memories or life situations which take me to remembrance and reflection. Thank you for that!
It’s not just the French who have a deep antipathy to peanut butter (ugh!), many of us Brits absolutely loathe the stuff … but that’s by-the-by.
I certainly associate peanuts with cacahuetes rather than arachides – which sounds too close to “arachnids” (spiders / scorpions) for my liking.
Hugs to you and your mom – cannot say it better than has already been said – walk it out – Your love for each other is stronger than any misunderstanding.
Kristi, you are such a thoughtful, kind person but you beat yourself up too much. You do so much to make your family life work for everyone else. You count as well. Just my 2 cents.
I agree with Maryann, Kristi. You are such a lovely person who does so much for your family! Please be sure to make space for yourself to just be yourself. It sounds like Max and his friends recognise how fabulous you are, as do we, your loyal readers. P.S. I love les cacahuètes, but I have always thought that they are les arachides. I’m a bit confused.
It’s true… just walking in the Silence together, focusing on the top of your head, brings you beyond yourselves and into the Higher Self … where all is Peace.
Nothing to add other than THANK YOU to you, Kristi, for being you and for sharing yourself with us as you do, and YES! D’ACCORD with every response here — all spot on. Please, ‘Our Kristi’, do forgive yourself first, as then it’s easier to smooth ruffled feathers and let others’ hurts be their own to release!
The passage to Mum (not Mummy) was strangely difficult to start out on. Normal now, but difficult to stop calling oneself ‘Mummy’ in conversation initially, which caused some unintentional upset and embarrassment.
💛
So why the tears? I had better not run into whoever did that!!!!
I think it is so delightful that you never clued Max in on the American teen “no more Mommy” rule. My grown son David still calls me Mommy, semi-ironically, but also semi-genuinely.
💛
Bonjour Kristi
Je suis prof de francais et espagnol en Missouri dans les Etats-Unis. J’aime beaucoup lire tes articles et mes etudiantes de francais aussi, merci beaucoup! Combiens de fois tu ecris chaque mois? As tu d’information ce que les etudiantes pouvent parler/ecrire avec des etudiants en France? Mon etudiante Claire mange du ou de la “peanut butter” tous les jours! Comment on dit peanut butter en francais?
Merci beaucoup
Colleen Conway
Kristi
It’s delightful to read that there is an up-side to coexisting in a three generation family home. Years ago my own son came home to take his grandma to lunch and a movie.
She was happy to spend time with him. Some time later, he again invited her out for lunch, to which she replied, “and perhaps a movie too?”
Brenda in SF
I’m getting to this story late, but I just wanted to say that my kids are grown and spread far and their friends live all over the U.S., so no matter how you were feeling that day it was a blessed day to have a child and his friends in your home. It’s always a blessing to have the young people around. I hope you took everyone’s advice and went out to enjoy that beautiful weather and location.