Autumn excursion in France, especially for women – "Women in Burgundy: Life, Laughter, and the French Paradox” October 18 to 27, 2018 – includes two nights in Paris. Click HERE for details.
Today's French expression: partir en vrille
: to spin out of control, to go astray, to go south, to run amok, to go off the deep end
Click here to listen to "partir en vrille"
Après avoir dégusté un tout petit morceau de chocolat, elle est partie en vrille au centre commercial. After sampling a very little morsel of chocolate, she ran amok.
365 Days of French Expressions. Click here.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
by Kristi Espinasse
Last December in Denver, when Mom and I were kicked out of the marijuana dispensary I should have taken it as a warning. Instead, we waited for the rest of our motley crew (my husband, my sister, and her boyfriend)–those with proper IDs–to finish touring the "medicinal" pot shop. I never intended to eat any of it–that chocolate bar we were after–I was just going along with the adventure. But as my grandfather used to say, "when you're around trouble, you're in it!"
Next thing I knew there was this THC-laced candy bar hanging around. It was carefully zipped into our suitcase, lest one of my sister's sheepdogs found it. It ended up in our rental car (after the dogs figured out how to pick the locks on our bags), where I noticed it each time Jean-Marc drove us somewhere. The day after Christmas, on our way to the mall, I suddenly swallowed a piece….
It was tout minuscule–a half of a half of a morceau. It didn't really count and, besides, I wasn't feeling it. So I had another. Forty-five minutes later I was on a shopping spree that ended with a visit to a Tesla (voitures électriques sportives et de luxe) and a serious conversation with a loan officer for a cute little home in a seedy (but up and coming!) part of the city.
The chocolate must have gone to my head, or gone into effect, around the time we (for Jean-Marc had had a piece too) strolled through Macy's, where I bought my husband three new sweaters and a dress shirt. The shopping spree continued at a barber boutique, where I was now on a mission to buy my husband an "ecological" razor (no more plastic to end up in a landfill!). I quickly brushed past the low-cost gamme and raced right over to the top razor (which looked like a cool pocket knife!) and all of its pricy paraphernalia (like the leather ceinture used for sharpening it–who knew leather could sharpen steel. If only it could sharpen my senses!
Walking through the mall like a Sugar Mama, my husband trailing behind me with all his Macy's packages (and un razoir costing slightly less than my wedding band), I turned to watch Sugar Baby walk into the Tesla showroom. If the cannabis-infused chocolate had relaxed my grip on my wallet, it didn't completely shut off sound reasoning–besides, there wasn't enough fric in my bank account to continue pampering Sugar Baby.
But that's what loans are for! In the last scene of our regretful story, Sugar Mama and Sugar Baby are standing in a little brick home with my sister the realtor. We had called Heidi outside the Tesla shop after stumbling into a brightly lit home sales display there at the mall. Just like that, within the hour, we were teleported out of the shopping center–to a seedy (but trending!) Denver neighborhhood. My dear sister had no idea I was under the influence, or she would not have called up a loan officer for me.
Long story short, I failed the income part of the interview. My salary as a blogger might be able to fetch a loan for an RV–but it would not secure funds for a home in Denver–no matter how dilapidated the neighborhood. Speaking of dilapidated, by now my brain was returning to normal and this whole chaotic episode would soon be but a memory. A memory of losing my sobriety for a few hours in Colorado.
Every time I see my husband's platinum razor on the bathroom shelf, I am aggravated at the decision I made to swallow that tiny piece of chocolate, but my sister is quick to remind me of the bright side:
"I could be worse," Heidi sympathizes. "You could have bought a house!" And surely I'd have found a way, had the effects of that dumb chocolate lingered on.
Post Note: Cunning, baffling, powerful…
Some, in the field of sobriety, would consider it a relapse–my split-second decision to eat that drugged piece of chocolate. The thought is troubling, but ultimately, I shall have to wear my Big Girl Pants (or Sugar Mama pants, if you like) and decide for myself whether or not I may continue to say: I have 15 years of sobriety. (Or whether the truth, now, is: I have 3 months….)
Amicalement,
Kristi
Related story "So much for Anonymity"
FRENCH VOCABULARY
la voiture = car
la gamme = range of products
la ceinture = belt
un razoir = razor
le fric = cash
tout minuscule = teeny tiny
un morceau = a piece, a morsel
Safety razor (I should have gotten JM this one, or something similar! It would have saved the environment and my wallet!)
Embryolisse – the multi-purpose French face cream my daughter and I use–get the 2-pack here.
Eiffel Tower Peace Sign T-shirt, order here.
If you haven't read my book, please have a look at Words in a French Life: Lessons in Love and Language from the South of France
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
fifteen years and three months sounds good!
Thank you, John, for this wonderful thought–and the smile it brings!
Kristi, I agree with John! Fifteen years and trips mois (had to get some French practice in too!). Your story was illuminating, interesting, and humourous. Thank you for
sharing.
I think you should be proud of your 15 Years especially living with a wine maker! Your story about the marijuana chocolate should be a warning to everyone who uses except for medical reasons! Thank you for always being so honest!
That should read TROIS mois! Dratted auto correct!
I kept waiting for the April Fools kicker statement near the end… n’est-ce-pas?
Ah, this would have been a good April Fools! Maybe I can rework the truth into fiction next April 1st. Thanks, David 🙂
I am sure this is April Fool’s!
Thanks, Leslie. But it was, written this morning, April 3rd. I have been meaning to share the story for weeks.
So did I !
Kristi, we’ve seen the all too often effects of alcohol… from meanness to horrible displays of aggression, impairment leading to death behind and in front of the wheel and on and on. If overly generous behavior is the prevailing side-effect of marijuana, then the whole world could use a whopping dose of THC!
Kristi! What a story … like others, I was waiting for the the April Fool’s line, thinking I was late catching up here. Another great anecdote for your next book. 🙂
15 ++ years and a Manic episode! That’s all! Forgive
Yourself!
Love this story and also a big MERCI for reducing your plastic use! We are changing our lifestyles to to minimize the plastic we introduce to this beautiful planet we all share.
a cautionary tale! Thanks! <3
I got my husband one of those expensive razoirs, too–for Christmas. It does seem like an absurd expense, but he wanted one, and it may last a lifetime.
When you consider all the plastic razoirs our mecs are NOT going to buy over the ensuing years, it just might pencil out.Plus, they get to start the day by using a high-end product that (maybe?) makes them feel good about themselves.
Yep, rationalization is my middle name.
I too am firmly in the 15 years and 3 months camp. That you had a learning experience/ reminder during that span, does not by even one iota decrease the significance of that long time span. You should be very proud of your accomplishment.
I thought this just had to be a Poisson d’avril – but it appears not, and I’m horrified. Behaving like that in a drug-induced frenzy is anything but a joke. Not just for you, but for the people around you.
Dear Kristi,
I would say you were sabotaged by that little piece of chocolate! With no intent to let go of your amazing record, I would have to agree with the others…15 years and 3 months. Well done…so carry on!
Absolutely 15 years plus a “deviation” which always involves an adventure. And you most certainly had one that day. Soldier on – you have great inner strength.
Wow. Judgemental much? Go live in a glass house. Try walking in someone else’s shoes. I could go on and on. Sheesh.
I agree!
I would say 15 years and counting. How could you know how you would have been affected by such a tiny piece of chocolate. And as for the razor, well, remember it instead as a fun little shopping spree. I don’t think Heidi would have really let you buy a house would she? Spur of the moment. No.
Well sometimes we have to examine “cunning, baffling and powerful”. I would ask myself, (trying to practice rigorous honesty) “what were my motives?” eating that chocolate. The mind can say….down the road… remember last time it was fun. Facts are, for people like us, it’s a gateway drug. For 41 years I have been learning not to take life so seriously by taking my sobriety seriously. I’m a big fan have followed you for over 5 years.
Thank you for your fresh honesty!
I think it’s a funny story, and should not in any way affect or diminish your accomplishment of 15 years sobriety while surrounded by wine from dawn to dusk. I just want to know how you did it!
Don’t let any negativity come near you on this one.
Dear Kristi,
Three hours divided by 15 years, my head hurts thinking of the math and my calculators just blew up!!!
It was the day after Christmas, of course you went on a shopping spree!!!
I don’t understand who is supposed to be in the glass house, or walking in other people’s shoes. Dabbling with drugs, any drugs, is dangerous. Dangerous for your mind and your body, and fooling around with them is just asking for trouble (as I think people familiar with this site will know).
You get a pass.
A, I do not understand the last line of your latest comment, especially the part in brackets. I am concerned that readers who are new to my blog may be misled by your remark.
Like I always said,pot makes you stupid. Just try hanging out with people getting stoned and not partaking yourself. The conversation gets dumber and dumber. As far as medicinal use—hogwash. Medical science has come up with many better ways to control seizures and relieve pain. To all pot users—recreational or otherwise—I say use it if you want but stay off the roads. Traffic accidents in Colorado have skyrocketed since the new pot laws were enacted.
Well, we’re all human. Hopefully, writing this post has helped you put the episode in your rear view mirror. Thanks for sharing. That can’t have been easy. Chapeau!
Kristi, I am baffled by A’s trollish remarks too — and that parenthetical crack strikes me as very misplaced and misguided. Seems to me that A is probably projecing onto your particular scary experience a lot of pain NOT at all related to you, but to something within A’s own past experience that deserves our compassion. Your mature honesty and open-hearted account of an accidental misadventure models how we humans can wrangle small disasters and move on. Please, don’t be cast into defensiveness by another’s defensive fears. I wish for A that he/she may in time develop the insight and courage that flows from your sharing your buying spree with your online family. Easy Does It, always with love and hope.
💛
Yes to gateway drug, yes to increase in traffic accidents, yes to sobriety, yes to being kind to ourselves as we struggle with temptation and ignorance.
i doubt that would qualify as a ‘lapse’ since it is an entirely different substance! more of an ‘experimentation’ perhaps, and yes, my own experience with the ‘chocolat fort’ lead to a similar surprise! Might i advise ,if there is a next time, vape the ‘shatter’ of an indica strain…less psychoactive, more physical relaxation…the shopping spree becomes…a nap in the mall !
You write like a Russian troll, a virus worldwide online whose only purpose is to stir up merde. “A” like in anonymous and A**hole. Fitting. And shut your trap about marijuana and casting dispersion about our host. You have no basis for your “all drugs” idiocy. Sorry it’s devolved to this, Kristi. I think you should erase this section the and block the “A**” perpetrator.
And that icky troll just inspired me to contribute bucks to this beautiful blog. Thanks, troll!
LOL! Oh my your story opened the memory bank in my head which retrieved a very old memory of my first and last time eating marijuana brownies. I was 16. Myself and 4 girlfriends went on 3 day camping Bridal Shower trip. One day we had the marijuana laced brownies. While playing cards it kicked in and I didn’t feels so good, so went to lie down in my tent, and the next thing I knew it was night! It was a normal sized brownie too; 1 of 24 not huge. It knocked me out cold for 8 hours! I felt hungover for hours after that. I don’t ever want any food laced with marijuana again.
Smoking it never did that to me. Given the choice of a shopping spree or sleeping I think the next day I’d much prefer being knocked out. 🙂
I don’t think you fell off the wagon at all. They’re two different things. 15 yrs and 3 months works for me. 🙂
An unknowing action is not considered, in my book, a relapse. And the fact that you were very human for a few minutes just means, well, you ARE human.
Fifteen years are not over in a moment. Continue on your road and don’t look back, to quote Dylan. Forward if not straight, we used to say in the 60s, haha.
Coraggio.
IMHO you’re still safely on the wagon. After all, marijuana isn’t your drug of choice. We’re all human and one times we need a concrete reminder.
Hi Kristi,
I don’t think the pot laced chocolate counts against you, now if it was liquor filled, then maybe! 🙂
Give yourself a break!
15 years. 3 months. It’s all one day at a time. Thank you for your honesty. I think we have an instagram world, where everyone is trying to make their lives look glossy, but in reality it may be something else. It’s refreshing to read an honest blogger. You ate the chocolate, you recognized it and you’re honest that you slipped. Heidi is right, it could have been worse and thank goodness it wasn’t!
Our dear Kristi,
Once again, your honesty wraps itself around our hearts and! is nothing short of an inspiration.
I fully agree with all the other comments:15 years and 3 months is wonderful!
Please know we are proud of you for your record!
In our state they also have cannabais dispensaries,and it is worrisome that they sell those innocent looking chocolate bars with no warning of side effects.
Love
Natalia XO
Couldn’t agree more!
You’ve made me stop and think, Kristi. I guess the laced chocolate brownie that lives in my imagination would not be a good idea in reality! I’ve just passed a milestone, 10 years of sobriety. So I guess I’ll leave well enough alone. And yes, thank goodness you didn’t buy the house in Denver!
Susan
Kristi,
15 years and 3 months. At first I thought that you were going to say that the chocolate bar had liquor in it and you didn’t know it. People want to legalize pot but I disagree, just as your episode shows. It really can affect people and everyone differently. Congratulations on your courage to write about this and as your readers say 15 years and 3 months sober. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍+👍👍👍😎
Kathleen
Kristin, you ate the brownie bites for the brownie, not the MJ, like I would eat a spaghetti sauce cooked with red wine for the spaghetti sauce not because it had red wine cooked into it. I don’t count that as a relapse and neither should you worry this into a going back to square one and reaching for a new desire chip. Mindset matters. Now, if you had that brownie for the buzz and motivational shopping spree then you would have some soul searching to do. I say you confessed, you certainly are doing penance and don’t focus on it. That could cause more trouble and spew over into guilt which I do not believe you need. What is that, “ when the student is ready the teacher appears.” It was just a small lesson with a teensie tiny test and you passed. You might need to recall that some day so now you have the tools. Love you girl. You’re doing good! Bill W would be proud.
Jacquie
Intended to tell you about how I handle this. God saw a problem when I was born so he gave me an allergy to marijuana. An ugly one at that. I break out, I get sick smelling it. Imagine having to go into a hydroponic operation where hundreds of plants were growing before the sweet smelling plant was christened a medicinal necessity. I probably have to stay out of Colorado now, too. So, God saw me coming and thought he would just nip that temptation In the bud before I decided it was the most wonderful of all green vegetables. Yes, I am very grateful. Pretty sure I would have been one of the more vocal supporters.probably. 😊 Plus, it took me long enough to get to my first meeting.
j
I think 15 years……….3 months is the perfect way to say it.
I agree with some commenters who have pointed out that marijuana and alcohol are not the same thing. You still have a perfect record of sobriety where alcohol is concerned. The pot-laced brownies were a mistake. Sometimes we don’t know something is a mistake until we make it. If you deliberately chose to eat them, knowing the contents, that was, to say the least, bad judgment – but now you know to avoid them. I had a friend who dated a guy who used pot fairly often. She never mentioned that it knocked him out, but she said he became boring and apathetic.
As far as medical uses go, if there are any (I’ve heard it can help somehow with glaucoma), we should explore those, but otherwise, in my opinion, marijuana shouldn’t be available for “recreational” use. It has no positive attributes, and can be dangerous, especially if one is driving or handling machinery, etc.
I have heard that pot can help with cancer. When I had breast cancer a few years ago (thankfully, Stage 1, and as far as I know, cured), no one suggested I use pot. I’m not a smoker, and I would find marijuana nauseating; I’m glad I wasn’t told to use it. I still take tiny pills which are to help prevent recurrence, with no side effects.
Congratulations to the commenters who are also continuing with their sobriety. It is a difficult road. Remember to take it one day at a time, and to know that we are all pulling for you, wishing you “bon courage.”