An invitation to talk to strangers…in today's vocabulary-packed story.
parler de pluie et du beau temps
: to talk about the weather, to talk small talk, to shoot the breeze
synonyms: tailler une bavette, bavarder, commérer
365 Days of French Expressions: Learn one new French Expression per Day
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
"Bavardons"
I'm so glad I opened my mouth at the minimarket checkout line. "Can you imagine?" I say to my daughter, recounting how I met a new friend. "Had I quietly waited there I would have missed an incroyable coincidence!" I would have stood right beside a fellow American from Texas without ever suspecting she was anyone other than a local, a Ciotadenne.
Earlier, I was walking to my neighborhood supérette on a rainy day. It was the kind of pluie that falls like a continuous mist–so light you wonder why you are holding an umbrella over your head when the sky is a giant upturned bottle of Evian spray. Dewey as the morning grass, I entered our local convenience store. Il n y avait pas un chat! I collected some milk, some croquettes pour chien (items that were needed and added weight to my sac à dos, allowing me to feel like the adventurous pilgrim in Walk in a Relaxed Manner. After weeks of keeping to my New Year's resolution, I must have been truly "in a relaxed manner," for my thoughts tumbled right out of my mouth, there at the caisse, or cash register:
"It looks like nobody shops when it rains!" I said, looking around the empty store.
The owner smiled, "Il n y a que les anglaises qui sortent." Only English women go out in the rain…
"I'm from Arizona," I playfully corrected.
That's when I heard it…a distinct American accent. I turned to see a younger woman had just joined me in line. Long thick brown hair with les franges, her smile revealed a mouthful of pearly whites.
"Really? I am from Houston!" she said, after which everything dissolved into an excited swirl of vraiments–leaving the store owner visibly dizzy as his only customers livened up the checkout.
"Really? Do you live here? In la Ciotat? No! Really? How long?! Three years? I've been here 6 months. Your name is Christina? Really? Mine too (kind of) yes really!
The vraiments continued over coffee at my house and macaroons at Christina's a few days later …
Christina made both the macarons and the pear tart!
Your family is from Mexico?! Really? My mom and my son live in Mexico!!! (And on and on our conversation flowed.)
So the next time, I say to my daughter, who's still listening to my histoire assez étonnante, the next time you are standing in line feeling all shy or unsociable, take a risk and shoot the breeze! You just never know where it may lead….
FRENCH VOCABULARY
bavardons = to chat away
incroyable = unbelievable
ciotaden(ne) = one who lives in La Ciotat
la supérette = minimarket
la pluie = rain
il n y avait pas un chat! = there wasn't a soul in sight ("there wasn't a cat")
croquettes pour chien = dry dog food
les franges = bangs
le sac à dos = backpack
la caisse = cash register, checkout
vraiment = truly, actually, really
une histoire assez étonnanté = an amazing story
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Yes. These happy but unexpected moments are the best.
“Shoot the breeze” … I haven’t heard that phrase in a long time. It perfectly sums up small talk, doesn’t it? I am so prone to doing exactly what you did! This past summer some friends and I spent two weeks in Spain hiking the Camino and after several days one of them said to me, “don’t you ever meet a stranger?”. She obviously hadn’t traveled with me before …
Lucky you! Now you have a new friend! It reminds me of something I heard years ago – a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet.
Belle histoire, Kristi. One never knows what will happen when we open our minds and our mouths!
What is the French noun for small talk?
In 2005 I was in France when Hurricane Wilma hit Miami the day before I was to fly there. Pauvre moi had to stay in France an extra 2 days which lead to encounters that were life changing (another tale). On the day I finally flew out, as I stood in line in CDG for my flight to USA, a bag tipped against my leg. The owner apologized and we struck up a conversation that lead to a friendship that continues today. He even helped guide my father and I around Hawaii (where he lives) a year later, giving us an inside peek into places even the locals jealously wish to see. Always smile and speak and amazing things can happen.
When my children were little they would accompany me to the stores and errands and I would always make polite small talk with anyone I saw (perhaps I was just in need of adult company, or perhaps I am like my Dad who would talk to anyone!) and often my son would say “Mama, do you know that lady?” I would laugh and say, “I didn’t before, but I do now!” or “No, I was just being polite.” You never know who you will meet making small talk. The friend of my heart, Ana, is one I met at the park when she was searing for her son’s shoe and she was speaking Spanish and one of the few words I know is “Zapatos” so I asked her if she needed help finding shoes and she laughed and we started chatting and now we are very good friends! Keep being your friendly American self! ( I say that because at Quaker meeting one English lady told me she was becoming Texan because she was now speaking to complete strangers at the grocery store, something she never did in England!)
Such a small world 🌎
This is wonderful!! What an unexpected blessing. A new found friend is always exciting. I’m so glad you said something in the superette when you did! Thanks for sharing, this made me smile!!
*searching for her son’s shoe, not searing!
Chatting w/ stranger in grocery line or anywhere else is how most of us roll in Lafayette La. Such a small thing but makes me happy!!
I met and made more friends this way! I always smile and make a kind comment, and also ask people in front of me at the check-out line if I could tuck their tag inside, 🙂 I can’t stand tags that stick out.
I also give my daughter’s honey to new neighbors to welcome them.
Happy for YOU!! Both!
Kristin, I had an experience almost exactly like this, except I was in my home town and my new friend was from Africa. But as she stood behind me talking, I detected a French accent. The rest is history, and a beautiful one at that. We have been friends for years because I asked her a question while standing in a checkout line!!!
I love the phrase which translates to “there Wasn’t a cat.”
Me too. I didn’t know it in French, but it turns out to be like Italian, save that the Italian multiplies the felines by four: “Non ci sono quatto gatti”.
Oops, typo. Obviously “quattro”.
*Le papotage* may be one way to say it. Does anyone reading this know of another French noun for *small talk* ?
Years ago I met a woman on a walking tour
of London. She invited me back to her place for coffee. We became friends. She and her husband visited with us in the States later. Eventually both my daughter and husband returned to Enhland at separate times with me and met up with these friends. Now we are both widows, but keep in touch with email.
Love talking to people I don’t know! Never know when you may meet a kindred spirit!
As much as I loved France, it generally was a delight to come across someone “from home”. On the other hand there were too many occasions when I found myself embarrassed to be an American, given the behavior I observed among American tourists. And many here have the nerve to speak poorly of the French, whom I found to be friendly, patient with my language struggles, and eager to introduce me to their life!
I always start up conversations with people in grocery lines and other lines as well as in restaurants. When there are two of us, my husband and me, it isn’t quite as easy. But by doing this we have had dinner with new acquaintances many times. In Europe it is very easy to start conversations in restaurants because the tables are so close together, which is usually not true in the US. Although, we have a French Bistro, where the tables are extremely close and we always talk with the people next to us. As a matter of fact, the last couple, with whom we were talking, will be honeymooning in Paris and I am putting together some ideas of what to do, where to eat ,etc.
While in Mexico we made friends with a Canadian couple. We said hello while at the concierge’s and then while riding the transportation as we talked, we realized that we had a lot in common. We had dinner together for my birthday and many dinners afterwards and enjoyed each other’s company at the pool and on walks. They had a few mishaps and we became their guardian angels. We are back in Connecticut and they in Canada, but we will be seeing each other again. If found a guardian angel ornament and sent 2 of the ornaments to them to keep watch over them.
It is so much nicer talking with people in line than standing there like zombies. I am always complimenting people on the clothes or something about them. Women tend to to do that…..men not so much.
I’m soooo happy for you to have found a new friend! Considering the energy of your soul is captivating across oceans, I can imagine your vitality in person is magical!!
Bonjour, Kristin,
Badinage is another French word which means talk which is light-hearted. A few years ago after returning from a trip to France, I was taking a short walk around the neighborhood when I heard a woman speaking French to the dog she was walking. I said bonjour and we have been chatting, mostly in English, ever since!
I would suggest: banalites or commerage
Ah, Kristi, you beautifully prove the point in the value of extroverting! (Coming from someone who will talk to anyone, anyplace at any time.) ;o)
Beautiful (once again!)
The twists and turns of Life … IF your heart is open to it!
Loved learning from your readers the many ways to say ‘small talk’.
😊 🌈 🦋
Good to know this, Faye. My daughter is moving to Lafayette in July.
I did this just yesterday. A delightful young lady (40) in the wine department. I recommended some wine and the next thing we knew, 25 minutes had gone by and we shared all sorts of things. In France, Italy and Spain you see more of this…and I think we are starting to see more of it here in the states….anyway in California. It reinforces the goodness in people which the world needs right now.
and then the conversation continued in the check out line because the electricity went out in the storm and we were waiting for the computers to boot….in fact I noticed how several people started talking to one another.
Kristi….in my conversation with the young lady in the wine department, I mentioned you and your blog. Turns out both of us like to cook and have a little wine while preparing dinner. I related to her your story about “not insulting the salad” by drinking wine when you eat it.
Our dear Kristi,
Your story today is what Horace would call un picture poesis and what I would call wonderful!
You always inspire us to look for the good and bright in every situation,including the good and bright in others and ourselves.
Thanks to you,we are wrapped in hugs!
Love
Natalia XO
I chuckled at “she was becoming Texan because she was speaking to complete strangers”. I’m a Texan now living in a state where no one dos this. When people ask me if I miss Texas, I reply, ‘no, but I miss Texans’.
You nailed it, Kathleen – “Women tend to do that…..men not so much.” I love talking to random people in line and anywhere else; it’s fun, interesting, and connects us with humanity! And who knows where that random connection might lead. Quoting you again, “It is so much nicer talking with people in line than standing there like zombies!”
I like to think that “there are no coincidences,” Kristi. Your meeting with your new friend was meant to be; may you have a long and happy friendship!
I wonder if your new friend Christina has ever visited your friends at French Country Wines when she has been in Houston? Or ever purchased a bottle of Rouge Bleu…
I love these unplanned and wonderful encounters, even if they are just for the moment. When they lead to something more – it’s even more wonderful! So glad you had this experience!!! I think I talk to ‘strangers’ more easily when I am away from home, and especially in another country – maybe there’s a bit of security in being a bit anonymous. I don’t know why I don’t do it more at home, because an unplanned conversation, un bavardage, always makes me happy! So I think I’ll pay more attention to opportunities right in my own back yard!
Gasp! Would that by any chance have been a man named “David?” If so, I have joined in his company with our mutual French friend, Brigitte, and also with him and her parents. She is a yoga teacher in a Parisian suburb. What a small world if it is!
Try it! Maybe you could start a trend! LOL!
So true that men don’t initiate as much as women do. We lived near Paris for 5 years, and then moved to the Loire two years ago. We were having a first dinner at a restaurant in a cave. We ordered a kir cassis. The waiter said, “Avec creme?” We scratched our head and said, “Non.” Not realizing that a kir cassis is with creme de cassis, and having ordered kir cassis in the past, were never asked that question. So when we received a simple glass of sauvignon, we said, “Non, une kir cassis.” A man sitting across from us jumped to our rescue and explained….Problem solved. Then, our candle burned to the end, and the waiter brought us a new one, but it didn’t stay upright in it’s holder. Again, man jumped to help us. We exchanged a few other pleasantries, paid our bill, and left. About five minutes out on the road to home, I told my husband to stop the car, and turn around. I wanted to change contact info with the helpful, smiling man. My husband insisted that surely he had left the restaurant already. His favorite rendition of this petit histoire is that he knew the man was still there, because I didn’t return for 15 minutes. Said man told us later that he found it very bizarre that I returned, but was so happy that we did. He promptly invited us to a garden party the following weekend, and we get together regularly. He spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with us, leaving the 26TH. He has taken us to concerts, expositions, many good experiences with this dear friend.
Wonderful story, Anna. What a dear man! Glad you returned to the restaurant.
well, I’m a Texan and we are known for just taking up a conversation anytime, anywhere, and it’s such a lovely way to meet people from all over the place. How nice to have a new friend in Ciotat, one who cooks so well!!! Like you, darlin’.
Say hello to her from a fellow Texan from Houston.
How about “bavarder”?
How fun! Thanks for sharing your encounter with Christina!
Are you related to the Houston architect Dunaway? He was one of my professors at Rice many years ago. A very dear man.
Mervin
Carolyn, I couldn’t agree with you more. I have found that, if you make an effort to speak their language, the French will appreciate the try, and many will go out of their way to help you. As to American tourists, I have blushed over their behaviors many times.
What a wonderful encounter! Something similar happened to me a few days ago at my kids’ rugby game. I had been feeling a bit down and not at all in a sociable mood. I sat one the field, bored, watching my youngest son play his first real rugby game, when a woman next to me started making small talk. It turned out that not only are her son and mine in the same classroom, but we also share a Toronto connection, as that is where her husband is from and where they lived for eight years before moving back to NZ two years ago to live closer to her family. To think that at one time we lived in the same city and now met at the other side of the globe! I delight in such coincidences and am thankful for them.
Loved the story and the vocabulary. For me, it seems easier to connect with people (generally other english speakers) when traveling abroad, but there are so many opportunities at home. Hopefully, you have inspired me to do better.