Une balançoire, or swing, in Paris to illustrate today's word….
une saute d'humeur
: mood swing
No dog is immune to a mood swing.
Aucun chien n'est à l'abri d'une saute d'humeur
(from the book Tout sur la psychologie d'un chien (All about Dog Psychology)
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
This past Tuesday, nervous about the aller-retour to the big city, I asked my daughter to drive us to visit Grannit (how my French kids spell "Granny"). My belle-mère is in the clinique de réadaptation again. Whereas two years ago I drove twice a week to Marseilles, for Grannit's previous convalescence, these days the thought of what could go wrong, in transit, steals what courage I have left.
Exiting the highway, there seemed to be an accident lurking around every corner. I began to react to "reckless" cars–and they were all reckless in my eyes.
"T'as vu celle-là! Did you see that one!"
"Yes, Mom. He was only merging."
"WATCH OUT! OH MY GOD!"
"Calme-toi, Maman!"
Gripping the handlebar above the passenger seat window, I apologize to my 20-year-old chauffeur for my overbearing behavior. I only had two cups of coffee, so caffeine wasn't to blame. Something else was shaking me up. I just couldn't identify what (update: it was only hormones. Only?).
According to French Cosmopolitan (a magazine I read in my 20s. Not in my 40s…or, now, days away from my 50th…), yes, according to Cosmo, during week two of a woman's cycle: "votre niveau de testostérone vous donne un coup de fouet sur le plan mental et physique…" (I thought that meant testosterone was whipping my mental state. Yes! I agreed! But it really means it was heightening it. Well, it was certainly heightening my anxiety. Turns out estrogen is the culprit there. To think I'll be 50 in a few days and I still haven't sorted out what hormones are and which does what. But I've known about mood swings ever since buying the book Potatoes Not Prozac).
WHERE ARE THE POTATOES??? OU SONT LES PATATES!!!!!
Smokey knows the feeling!
We eventually made it into the clinic, in time to wish Grannit a happy December 12th birthday. Grannit's eyes would not let me go, but we had to return home before rush hour (!!!).
Determined to be someone my daughter (and our dear Grannit!) can lean on again, I headed out with Smokey this morning to try to begin to master one area of my life (that of being master of my dog). It is a one-step forward, two back, undertaking, this dog walk of ours but we are gaining confidence. Nearing the end of our block, I heard the scraping sound of shears and a group of men cussing from behind the bushes. Their demeanor changed from gruff to polished when, one by one, the workers sent Smokey and me greetings through the leafy hedge that separated them from us. Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! said the men.
I ignored the dubious voice in my head and returned, one by one, every single one of the workers' hellos.
Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!
By the time I arrived at the beginning of the hedge one of the voices manifested in the form of a bearded man wearing a wool bonnet. He was walking towards a van with the words Les Jardins de L'Espérence written across the side. "Bonjour, Monsieur. Tell me about Les Jardins de L'Espérance," I ventured. I had a sense of what the answer would be and the man responded serendipitously: It was, he said, a kind of solidarity to put those in difficult situations back to work, as well as to help the handicapped. I had the urge to put all those Mr Bonjours to work on our half-trimmed hedge just down the block. And this time my instincts agreed, casually suggesting I wait until my husband returns… to make such a proposition.
Smokey and I walked on, one with a smile, the other, unusually calm-footed (or "-pawed"). Did you see that? I thought. Smokey did not act up when we passed by all those muffled bonjours! Tears were running down my face, not from sadness but from the cold wind. As I wiped them aside in front of the boulangerie two more friendly faces appeared in the form of strangers. Hervé and Francine stopped to inquire about Smokey's head collar, or "gentle leader", which looks like a muzzle.
Oh, non, I assured them, Smokey est très gentil! Yes, they could see that, they said, reaching to pet my golden retriever. But they cautioned that if a more aggressive dog challenged Smokey, my "muzzled" golden retriever would be defenseless! I thanked them for their conseil–but at this moment I was working on building back my courage–not feeding my fears. Besides, as goes dog-walking advice:
Too many cooks spoil the broth!
Trop de cuisiniers gâtent la sauce!
But what a friendly melting pot we'd met by venturing out this morning! Hervé and Francine waved goodbye, casually informing us that they often pass this way each day à la même heure. (They must have mistaken my watery eyes for tears!)
"Au plaisir. Looking forward to seeing you again," I said, bidding our new friends goodbye and heading home with my dog-in-training. I am so pleased with Smokey's progress…and, I admit, proud of my own, as well.
***
I leave you, Dear Reader, with all good wishes for the holidays. See you in 2018. And would you keep my mother-in-law–our "Grannit"–in your prayers? Let's all remember not to take anything for "Grannit"!
Amicalement,
Kristi
FRENCH VOCABULARY
aller-retour = round trip
clinique de réadaptation = rehabilitation center
un coup de fouet = a strong boost
à la même heure = at the same time
le conseil = advice
In case you missed it, please read Robert Camuto's article "How Bad Choices (and an old tractor) Killed a Winemaker's Dream". It does a good job summarizing why we sold our vineyard and moved on.
Meet Jean-Marc and our son Max in Portland! They will be pouring the very last US bottles of Mas des Brun and other delicious wines this week in Oregon! If you live nearby, don't miss seeing them.
For any questions, please call +33 6 65 21 35 92 or email Jean-Marc at jm.espinasse@gmail.com
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Remember…..just smile. A smile can tame those hormones. Glad to hear Smokey is doing better with the gentle leader. I remember telling people, no it was not a muzzle, and she could open her mouth just fine. It sure made a difference from being suddenly jerked in one direction or another. Perhaps he is getting used to meeting more people on the walks, voices behind hedges and just city life.
Dear Kristin, I remember my later 40’s early 50′ as a time of mood swings, and even more than one time of anxiety. I remember a trip to Provence (I’m an American) traveling with a male friend and being extremely nervous, nay, fearful, as he drove down the winding road from the top of Mt. Ventoux. I knew he was a very good driver but I was going through a visit with peri-menopause and not myself.
He, who is a very calm and laid-back fellow, eventually got upset with me.
However, my anxiety passed, and the rest of the trip was delightful. Your adopted Provence is truly beautiful. So, hang in there life will get easier.
Unfortunately, as we grow older, a full lifetime of experiences and knowledge accumulates to interfere with our common sense by sparking worry over the copious amounts of things that “could” feasibly go wrong. The best we can do is just what you’re doing… face those fears one step at a time and you’ll be very proud to find the new,fierce You in the process. Je vous souhaite, à toi et ta belle famille, un très Joyeux Noël. Et pour 2018, des joies simples, de belles perspectives et des horizons infinis.
Hi Kristin,
I’m glad you and Smokey are making progress; I have had a similar journey with one of my dogs. I have written to you previously about Alecia Evans and her Walk in Sync system. I urge you to visit her website, where you can see some videos of success. With this system, there are no steps backward, and the success is immediate and permanent. I live in Boulder, CO, and I have traveled every summer for the last four years to Amsterdam and Paris, with my two Shih Tzus. In Paris, we stay in apartments on busy streets in and around Hotel de Ville and Notre Dame. I attribute the Walk in Sync system for being able to successfully walk the dogs in crowded areas. Like you, I had to conquer my fear of walking my dogs after being attacked three separate times by aggressive dogs. Walk in Sync works!
I wish you Happy Holidays, and peaceful walks.
Susan Scott
Happy Christmas to you and all your family. May you be happy, may you be healthy and may you have a peaceful heart.
Regarding the hormone issue – keep breathing eventually they calm down.
Smokey evidently loves his walks so he probably doesn’t mind the gentle leader.
I guess that I never really got mood swings, but I sure got and still have hot flashes-difficult to deal with in the summer but welcomed many times in the winter. Good luck with your mood swings. 😎
Peri-Menopause/Menopause is different for every woman. Sometimes it is mild, sometimes it is fierce. Mood swings, sleeplessness, hot flashes and night sweats, anxiety, etc. Get your FSH levels measured. If your medical history allows for it, take some low-dosage hormone support. It can make all the difference in the world and also provide some benefits. You’ve had a lot of chaos in the last year. I was intensely suffering from menopause symptoms at the same time I was going through a divorce. Finally, a friend recommended her doctor who saved my life and my sanity. It is fine to accept medical support.
Hi Kristin,
I do home boarding for dogs (one at a time) and I have worked with lots of dogs. Rather than the gentle leader, I would like to suggest the “easy walk harness” It is a harness with a rotating ring on the chest side and dogs are not able to pull but learn to walk properly. Please read about it. I prefer it over the gentle leader. Doesn’t Smoky’s tongue get compromised with the muzzle? Anyway, my advice…the easy walk harness! I enjoy your blog and am a committed Francophile!
Merry Christmas and the best for 2018!
Susan
Sorry, I put an N on your name. My apologies!
Kristin – I am back in Paris for the first time in 13 years. As I walk the back streets of the Marais, I find joy in the broad swath of languages I hear and the food I smell and the faces I see. It makes me happy to hear those voices. French, Middle Eastern, Asian, German — and so many more. As an American, where it feels right now like the bottom is falling out, Paris feels vital and amazing. I can’t speak to the hormones, but I can relate to the mood swings. Today. In the rain. In Paris. I just smiled.
Our dear Kristi,
Once again,your wonderful post today so beautifully puts things into perspective;not only for this time of year but for each and every day, giving us cause to reflect on our blessings,our loved ones,and how to bring joy–if only by passing along a smile–to someone who needs it.
THANK YOU!
You and your loving family are always in our prayers,and now we are adding special extra ones for your dear belle mere.
Joyeux Noeland blessings always,most special ones for a most special lady on her 50th birthday!The best is still ahead!
Love
Natalia XO
Mon anniversaire est 12 Decembre aussi! Bonne anniversaire (un peu plus Tara) a votre belle-mere et bonne sante! Je suis aussi “Grammit” – j’adore ca!
Hi Kristi,
So happy you and Smokey are enjoying your walks. I hit the “double nickels” age! 😳 I haven’t been bothered too much by any changes. I do get teary eyed over things more easily now!
Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!
Joyeux Nöel
Eileen
OK, this is what works for me: closing my eyes when riding with my kids (just kidding, but almost!)
My best wishes for your belle mere’s speedy recovery, and please pass on to JM how moved I was by his clear eyed view of the steps that led to the loss of the vineyard. His self awareness and ability to look at his own mistakes (and correct his attitude) was touching and evidence of his psychological sophistication.
Wishing you and yours a happy holiday season, and may all your dreams come true in the new year. Maybe I’ll make it to Oregon when you’re there!
Jo
Joyeux Noël, Kristi! All will be well. Just keep walking Smokey and moving forward with your life
as its path reveals itself. I am a dedicated contemplative and find that much can be learned in
silence. We are all on our separate journeys and are called individually to become loving human
beings, each in his or her own special way. Change is constant and so we need to continually meet
the challenges of how to best adapt to our aging bodies and our changing environment. Best wishes
for a peaceful winter holiday.
Hell, I am a male and I NEVER want to drive a car again in France, or ANYWHERE IN EUROPE.
The reason: those little motorcycles that zoom in and out of traffic, even up onto the sidewalks.
And WE are supposed to look out for them?
Kristi, sending lots of love to your belle-mère and to you. I trust that all will be well. You and Smokey both deserve a hug and a bit pat on the back for the progress you have been making. Continue to focus on that progress, one day at a time, and everything else will settle into place at the right time.
P.S. As for wonky hormones, you are not alone in feeling confused. I’m trying to sort out my own similar woes.
Joyeuses Fêtes à toute la famille, Kristi!
Meilleurs voeux pour 2018 <3
Hi Kristi,
I agree that the chest harness works well, better than the gentle leader for my stubborn Wheaten terrier, Cleo. Even at 15,she has a mind of her own when it comes to walking! I wish you a happy birthday in advance! And, I empathize with your hormone issue. They go crazy for a while! I’ve heard that acupuncture can help:)
Bisous et meilleurs vœux pour l’annee 2018.
Judy
Courage, dear friend. I am here at 80 and even now I have days of weepy eyes (not wind) and need to remind myself of my many blessings. Good for YOU, and Smokey, too! Merry Christmas from Arizona, and all blessings in the New Year!
My dogs problem with the chest harness was irritation under front arms. So dogs build is a consideration. I like the gentle leader, but as I warned in an earlier comment,if the dog sits stubbornly, it can back out of harness. Again the British canny collar with top ring is the best I think.
Kristin I feel your pain with hormones. Bloating is my major issue. Forgetfulness is another. I don’t mind the hot flashes. Would take those over bloating any day. People say I’m more irritable. Isn’t perimenopause a joy!!!
Beautiful, wise words…
My father always loved your stories about your mother-in-law….Blessings and love to her. As for the hormones….There is a good reason that we refer to this time in a women’s life as “The Change”! This too shall pass, and your life will be better for it….Sending my love to you for the holidays….LOVE, Eileen XO
Joyeux Noel, Kristi — and to your family. Prayers for your Belle-Mere. Thank you for your entertaining and instructive posts. They are a treasure 🙂
Dear Kristi, Jean-Marc, Jacqui, Max & Smokey, we wish you & yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy New Year 2018. Thank-you for all your great blogs through-out the year. x x
OH, I LOVE PUNS. The highest form of humor, everyone says.
Now, if you wish to ask anything about hormones, I am at your service…
Bonne fete and a lovely holiday season for all of you.
I got so many crazy comments in Paris for our golden Crosby being “in a muzzle.” Despite the fact that they’re sold in the pet shops there, everyone thought it was a muzzle. It’s ridiculous to think he couldn’t defend himself–he can open his mouth!
I finally took to handing Croz a tennis ball to hold in his mouth while we walked. Everyone thought it was cute and usually didn’t even notice the leader.
Merry Christmas, Kristin.
Dearest Kristin, Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May all your dreams come true.
xoxo
Hi Kristi,
we live outside of Portland and love going in to Pastaworks/Providore. Since you said that Jean-Marc would be there with your wine, we stopped in to taste. We had tried to find the Mas des Bruns in the wine shop in La Ciotat in the summer of 2016, but they didn’t have any. It was nice to finally meet one of you since I have been reading your blog for a few years now. My 20 year old daughter was with me (she isn’t allowed to taste wine here unfortunately) and we met both Jean-Marc and Max. Thanks for the heads up. We now have a bottle of Mas des Bruns to share over the holidays. Have a great birthday. The 50s are the “Decade of Adventure” according to our friends. If you decide to travel more, check out SERVAS, an international organization promoting peace through visiting people in other places.
Thank you, Theresa. Delighted to know you and your daughter were able to make it to the tasting! And thanks for your words about the 50s. I am off to google the Servas info you shared!
***
Wishing everyone reading this message a joyful holiday celebration and a meaningful new year! ☀️💞😘
I am sorry to hear your belle-mère is in rehab like my mom. I will send her birthday wishes as she and I are FB friends.
Dear Kristi, Jean-Marc, Max and Jackie,
I know you will have an extraordinary Christmas this year It makes my heart warm to think of it. I enjoyed seeing and taking with Jean-Marc and Max. They are wonderful men , so interesting, open, earnest, full of life and joy. Like you. Happy, happy holiday’s from our family to yours.
I have not been able to read all of your posts during the last few months, so I am now catching up, from the most recent post backward. My compliments on the beautiful, evocative photograph of Smokey. He is glorious, playful dog who always has tugged on my heartstrings! Although I have not read other posts about his difficulties walking in La Ciotat, I imagine that for him, life in the city is very different from his life on the farm.
Best wishes regarding your mood swings. I had that problem when I was your age. Assuming that my mood swings were hormone-based, my primary care physician prescribed estrogen-replacement therapy for that problem. It did not help, and several years later, the results of a couple of simple blood tests (a TSH and a Free T4, done with on one blood draw) told another physician that I had an overactive thyroid. As soon as we dealt with the cause of that, my mood swings stopped. You may want to consider having your thyroid checked if that has not been done during the time you’ve had mood swings.