"Let every belonging see the light" — an epiphany I had while packing up my Mom's paintings. (photo of my Mom taken in Roussillon, around 2010)
"faire des cartons"
: to pack boxes
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On fait des cartons mais, surtout, on se débarrasse de tout ce qui ne sert plus.
We are packing boxes but, especially, we are getting rid of what no longer serves.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
From here on out whatever we have in our home should be living! It doesn't have to have a heartbeat, but it should not be crammed under a bed, pushed to the back of a closet, or flung into the storage room–that horrible magnet for homeless items (and spiders and mice).
We have begun packing in anticipation for our move to La Ciotat. We've not yet signed the final papers, but we are so close we can taste it. Looking around our jam-packed cellier, I wonder if we can still taste what's in all those jars? Do I take the conserves with us? (Didn't I lug them here from the last move, 5 years ago? I lugged a lot of things here 5 years ago, and they haven't served since!).
Rule No 1, when you become hesitant during a packing session move on to another item. My eyes fix on my Mom's oil paintings. What are they doing in the storage room? OK. This morning you are going to gather all of Mama Jules's paintings and deal with them….
Mom's paintings are partout. In the guestroom, in the kitchen, in the entry–but mostly in the dusty storage area besides the pétanque court. I assign Jean-Marc the job of bringing all the toiles up to the house, and brace myself for the job I have been putting off for so long: Choosing which ones to keep.
The works are large and many of them are sticking together from the heat. A first wave of guilt sets in. Rule No 2: don't let emotions slow you down! I begin dusting off Mom's paintings, and soon realize the vacuum (with brush attachment) will work better. When the aspirateur runs out of charge, I remember an astuce from the artist herself….Taking the oil paintings outside, I lean them against a sturdy row of lavender and turn on the garden hose!
It's 32 degrees out (in the 80s) and the water feels good. But will it feel good to Mom's oil paintings? I just have to trust her (as I watch her, in my mind, cleaning all her artwork in her bikini–carefree and just a little bit destructrice. Focusing in on one of Mom's altered paintings, I now see how sabotage has its place in creation).
I leave Mom's oeuvres to dry in the sun, along with the laundry and all my pre-conceived notions. And when it's time to collect Mom's paintings and sort them by size, I have the chance to see her art for the first time in years.
Washing down those canvases a few droplets of water must have landed in my own eyes, clearing my vision in time to appreciate an artist's travail. I break Rule One and allow myself to linger on something I am supposed to be packing away….
By the way, in my new life I do not want to pack away anything!
"Everything in our next home will be alive!" I say to Jean-Marc, an innocent bystander who happens to be passing through during my epiphany. "Nothing should be stored away–dead in a corner, on a shelf, under the bed!"
"D'accord ma chérie," my husband says, pouring some ice tea before heading back out to pack up his wine cellar.
My eyes and my heart (Rule No. 2, broken!) pour over Mom's work. The dark jewel tones were never right for our farmhouse with its low ceilings and narrow rooms (preconceived notions!). Suddenly each painting is finding a home in our new place as I begin to picture this one in the kitchen, this one in our bedroom, this one in the entry….
A prolific painter at times, there are oil scenes on the back of boards, cardboard flaps, paper (Mom's even painted over the covers of magazines)…. Looking closely I see a story of our vineyard life. From the laundry line to Smokey bounding through the vines, Mom has documented everything!
Jean-Marc is back for more iced tea (it takes gallons of thé glacé to pack boxes during a heatwave!). "Why don't you organize a vernissage? You could sell some of your Mom's paintings.
Sell them? The panic I felt earlier over which ones to keep… took a funny new twist: which ones to part with? As I mull over that question, I will try to stick to a new golden rule when we move in to our new house: No more storage. Let every belonging see the light!
(And if you don't long for it, don't keep it.)
FRENCH VOCABULARY
faire des cartons = to pack boxes
le cellier = storeroom
partout = everywhere
la toile = painting (also cloth, linen canvas)
déstructrice = destructive
une astuce = handy tip, trick
un oeuvre = works (art)
un travail = work
d'accord, ma chérie = ok, my dear
le thé glace = iced tea
le vernissage = art exposition
T-Shirt I Don't Need Therapy I Just Need to Go to France
La Roche-Posay sunscreen – rated top by Consumer Reports
French Macaroons dish towels, whimsy for your kitchen
Harney & Sons black tea, Paris – change up your iced tea…
Some of Mom's painting are unfinished. "Just toss them all together and I will sand them down. It'll be a new canvas to work on!" Mom enthuses. (I'm glad I'm the one dealing with the artwork. Now to hide the sandpaper!)
Mom used Jean-Marc as her model for her "Tango" painting, below.
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I’ll be 73 in December and have been looking for someone to go with me to Paris, Provence and maybe other parts of France. It looks like we might be forming a group! I also have hesitations of traveling alone after losing my husband, my travel partner, two years ago. But, I haven’t lost my dream of going back to France again. I live in Southern California – if anyone is interested in a trip! Maybe Kristi can introduce us via email!
Kristi – love your packing with ruthless abandon! I so want to simplify and finding it difficult to even know where to start. A move just might light a fire under me! Good luck with your packing. I would be all crazy trying to decide which of the beautiful paintings to part with!!! They’re not ‘just paintings’ but they are Jules!
Diane,
I am in exactly the same boat as you are – with boxes and boxes of photos, as well as albums, and framed photos, a ton of travel books, a whole file cabinet of travel places/ideas. I’m trying to do something about it so my daughter doesn’t have to suffer this mess when I am no longer here, but, except for donating a few pairs of jeans, I have not been very successful. But, I do think about it every day, as I am still going through the paperwork that is necessary after a spouse passes away. It’s been almost two years and I keep thinking just one more name change on financial things and I’ll be done….. just haven’t qite gotten there yet. I know my blabbering doesn’t help, but know you are NOT alone!
Judi
I am just so happy for you and Jean-Marc. A new beginning is very exciting! I wrote some things above in a reply to some others (maybe even get to know them, through you). The best of luck in this daunting task of knowing what you want to take with you and what you want to say ‘good-bye’ to, and what things you can just ‘toss out’ (and wonder why you hadn’t done so before!). I so wish I could come to Ciotat and visit with you again. Our visit in Paris was wonderful, but too short a time! Maybe my dreams of returning to France will come true – I’m targeting 2018! Bises, Judi
A very interesting and relevant post. After 26 years in the same house, I realized I’ve maxed out the space, and need to do some serious paring (and I don’t have a cellier!) I do donate to charities – so, Kristin, maybe you can give away some items you no longer need, as well as some of your Mom’s paintings.
I don’t want to sound negative, and I certainly hope the move to La Ciotat will happen and will bring joy to your life. But — a few years ago, while unemployed, I did odd jobs to earn some cash. One of them was helping an older gentleman move, and I packed up many boxes. He had already arranged for a transfer to an independent-living place, smaller than his two-story house with basement, back porch, and garage. The deal fell through the day before settlement was scheduled. He never did move to the place where he’d reserved a space. So I’ll be praying that your papers will be signed and that all will be well.
Generally speaking, I find the hardest things to part with are those with sentimental value. I’ve saved items my son made, such as Christmas ornaments or some drawings. But except for a few exceptional ones, the school papers can go. And it’s easier for me to let go of things (say something that belonged to my mother at one time) if I either donate it to charity or a friend, and, sometimes, take a photo of it first.
Bonne chance!
Kristi,
I sent you a little donation, forgot to mention. Just wanted to make sure you got it… I haven’t used PayPal for many moons – their recap of the transaction seemed right…so hopefully it went through. Use the money to buy nails to hang whichever photos you decide to hang in your new house! Judi
I have the same dream at age 72, Joan! Isn’t it fun to dream and read Kristi’s beautiful columns!
Hi, Judi, Yes–I just saw your donation via Paypal and am sending a private message to you next 🙂 Many thanks!
I’ve just read this book as well. I, too, am bringing things out of hiding and storage to enjoy! If it’s packed away it’s “invisible” as the book says. Then I have to ask myself, why would I choose to keep it? If it has served me, I’m not using it….let it go and bless someone else instead of remaining hidden. This is a perfect project this time of year in Arizona. TOOO HOT to be outdoors. Feeling free!!! 🙂 Excited to see pics of the new house Kristi!!
Salute cher Kristin….l am also packing and moving to Santa Rosa, Ca. area from Oregon !!
To live closer to my son, also a painter like my dad and some how have been storing most of their art work……what to do with it all!! Determined finally to be a minimalist which is soooo liberating.
Hoping to have an art sale too, on the Santa Monica Pier Merry-go-Round where my dad worked as Harbor Master for many years. So, l too am picking out the ones to display and the ones to share with the world….not easy, as you know!
It was delightful to read your post which I can relate to strongly!
Bon chance and happy moving……whew!! xo Lorna
Chere Kristen,
I to am waiting to sign the last papers on selling my house, a big load off my shoulders.
I am taking all your advice on things to get rid of and things to keep. Much good and happiness on your move.
Thank you for your wonderful blog. I’ve been enjoying it for quite a while.
Fondly,
Faxine