It is raining this morning, here in St. Cyr-sur-Mer. Visibility is fuzzy–just like today's word (and our situation).
TODAY'S WORD: être dans le flou
: to be in limbo
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ECOUTEZ – Listen to Jean-Marc pronounce today's French word: Download soundfile
Depuis quelques temps, ne sachant pas là ou nous allons déménagés, nous sommes dans le flou.
For a while now, not knowing where we will move, we are in limbo.
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A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
We are in limbo. This state of "which way will we go and when–next month? Next year?" began when my husband said he needed to turn the page. This vineyard and his passionate pursuit of the grape was fini! Fatigue, discouragement, and bad decisions (according to Jean-Marc) had brought him to his knees.
The revelation came as a complete surprise to me. Having put down my anchor in this "land of milk and honey," I had lofty plans of my own: grow a Garden of Eden (if that was OK, i.e. non-offensive, to God), move Mom into her dream home (tree-house with wood stove and hammock), and one day see my grand kids run wild through the hills of grapes and avocados.
I know, I know, "Man plans. God laughs". Which reminds me….
Early on in what would become this Season of Limbo, I attempted to nail down the foggy ends of uncertainty (were there ends?). "Plan A" (if I remember correctly) was to move to the States … "Plan B" involved renting out our farmhouse. Plan C was a combination of A and B – and involved hitting the road in an RV.
After "C "I gave all the ideas a rest and we let ourselves flounder in the valleys and hills of Limboland. Do you know that place? That neither here nor there Waiting Zone? A never-land (you never touch ground!) where all your dreams and fears draw swords and taunt each other. Apart from watching Hope and Despair spar casually with your future, you can do very little when in limbo. Best to go forward with your duties.
One of my duties is to bring the French language to you. So this morning I looked up the French word for limbo (être dans le flou) and was intrigued by the definitions. Did you now "limbo" is that holding place we go to after we die, before we are assigned our forever resting places in heaven or hell? (That would describe the two forces still sparing, oh-so-casually, two paragraphs up!).
And, on the light side, limbo is a Caribbean dance in which people shimmy while passing beneath a low stick. The stick gets lower and lower as the dance wears on….
This morning Jean-Marc and I woke up under a stick so low one of us asked ourselves whether we should just lie in bed all day, being, as we were, pinned to the floor of incertitude. (Will our house sell this week?) Meantime the other one of us shimmied to the kitchen to make a second cup of coffee.
By the time I delivered that coffee to Jean-Marc we were both sitting up, ready to face another day. As my husband recorded the sound file for this post, using his smartphone, I fired up my computer, determined to set my energies on a constructive path. I am superstitious that way. I believe that if all forces are to come together for the good (the sale of our home), the good must start here–with good thoughts, good intentions–at the very least a good effort!
All this brings me back to Man Plans. God laughs. When will I ever learn the lesson? It is not solely by our efforts that we are rewarded. Good deeds don't guarantee reciprocity. We move on to a better place only by God's grace.
By the end of this week we may have received an offer on our home. I leave you with a picture I took on Friday, when we visited a possible "next place." I love how "place" rhymes with "grace"….
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Carving the gigot de sanglier our neighbor gave us. It was marinated in red wine, herbs, mustard and honey, then roasted in the oven for two hours, basted every half hour. As for the delicious apple tart, with orange peel confetti, you'll have to ask my mother-in-law how she made that.
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Dear Kristi and Jean-Marc,
Sometimes the hardest part of change is making the decision to do so…and you have done that! As long as there are options in carrying the change forward, you can determine what will work best for you.
The sale of your mas is probably key right now as that will give you freedom to move on. Pass the baton and start anew! A new location and a different house can bring a new vitality. (That house on your IG page with the balcony and gorgeous, captivating view was intriguing!)
What Kindred Spirit had to say about transition rather than limbo was very uplifting. Have faith, listen to your head and your heart and trust yourselves…
K and J-M, be circumspect as you contemplate moving to the states. We’ve elected a lunatic to be president and although you may think that Trump as president will have little direct impact on your respective lives, in fact that won’t be the case. J-M will be a foreigner, an alien. And a Frog to boot. He’ll endure more than the occasional insult. Trump want’s to disrupt the federal work force here. That’ll mean delays and bad service. It’ll mean a sharply polarized citizenry that’ll make life unpleasant. So, as you run through plans A, B, and C, be circumspect.
One other thing: I live on 55 rural, mostly wooded acres in northeastern PA (where we had a foot of blowing, drifting snow last night). I’ve had gardens all 9 years I’ve lived here. It’s an exceedingly lovely place. ANd it’s only 3.5 hours from NYC to which there is bus service from Scrnaton, PA, which is 50 minutes away. And it’s 18 minutes to Elk Mtn. Ski Area, which is why we moved here in 2007. But we is now just me, and I’m a cancer survivor for whom cold–it’s 13 farenheit outside now–is less appealing. And I have choices. Wanna buy my house?
Dear Kristi,
You and Jean-Marc already have the most important “elements” of life: a loving healthy family; many,many friends; intelligence along with talents and a sense of humor. You could truly lie in bed with that second cup of coffee and “count your blessings” ’til noontime! For these reasons, I know that the two of you with your family will soon be happily settled in a new place.
My very best wishes and encouragement.
A new venture. How intriguing. You are in a position as empty nesters to do something else, maybe with less stress, which can help MJ’s mental state. Bon chance.
Kathleen
Our dear Kristi,
Our arms are around you both,sending comfort and courage,and of course(!) prayers to ask God to help you stay strong till your path is revealed to you.
Thanksgiving is Thursday,and please know that we give constant thanks for your always beautiful words,inspiration, and presence in our lives.
THANK YOU!
Love
Natalia XO
Kristi, many of us have been in “purgatory” at one point or another in our lives. It is not easy and it is stressful. But I believe new seeds will sow themselves and a new life for you and your family will grow from the fruitful soil of your experiences. Take heart.
Dear Kristi, I am heartened, reading your missives, and seeing that others among your readers are also dans le flou. My retirement plans were moved up a year by a large layoff, and I must make changes.
I am trying to decide what to do- sell my home and move to a smaller one, sell, store my possessions and move to Europe (hmmm…), or sit tight.
Arr! I am feeling similar pain to many! Now I see I am definitely not alone in having this! Thanks to you and to your other readers.
And I wish you and Jean-Marc all possible happiness.
You will never regret doing all you can to make Jean-Marc happy. Wishing you both a glorious Thanksgiving and many more loving years together, wherever that may be.
Oh Sweetheart, Je suis dans le flou aussi……It’s good to know that we are in good company in the Land of Limbo….How I wish I could find a pearl of wisdom (or two) to send your way! Love to you both….Keep on keepin’ on! Eileen XO
Kristi,
Can you please post a link to real estate listing for your property?
Sheila
How about a plan D? Rent out your land/grapevines and keep the house. The vines will be worked and you can rent out parts of your house as a Gite. You get to keep your “garden of Eden”, Jean Marc stays close to his vines and you make a living at it….As you two move forward I wish you the best of luck!
Last week on the news they said France had it’s worst grape harvest ever. My heart goes out to you and everyone else who is facing uncertainty. It is hard to keep the faith, but it is important to keep going. I would love to share my story with you, but it would sound so “feeling sorry for myself” so I will tell you that I look for joy in the best things in my life and they help me ignore the rest.
Oh Kristi your post came like a bolt from the blue. From your blogs I thought Chief Grape was happy and content; now you must uproot yourselves again. I am so sorry for the anxiety this is causing you two. Male mid-life crisis, perhaps?
I hope, hope, hope the house sells soon, if that is your wish, and by that I mean you have decided on Plan A, B, or C and on a way to make a living.
I await your next blog with some anxiety myself!
Wishing you all the best, dear e-friend.
KRISTI,
I THINK THAT I WAS 87 WHEN I FIRST FOUND FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY. ON JANUARY SECOND I WILL BE NINETY TWO. THERE WAS SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO DURING THOSE YEARS. YOUR STORIES AND PICTURES WERE ENJOYED EVERY WEEK. THE TIME THAT PAULETTE AND I MET WITH YOU AT THE OLD VINEYARD WAS A HIGH POINT OF MY LIFE. I HAVE FELT THE SADNESS THAT YOU EXPRESSED IN YOUR MANY POSTINGS THESE PAST MONTHS. LIKE WAITING FOR A VERY BELOVED FRIEND PASS AWAY. AS I HAVE TOLD GRANDDAUGHTERS WHEN THINGS GOT ROUGH, “SHOULDERS BACK,CHEST OUT,HEAD HIGH AND SMILE”. YOU TWO POSESS THE QUALITIES THAT THIS WORLD NEEDS. GOD WILL LEND THAT HAND THAT YOU NEED AT THIS TIME.