The sunflower that bloomed here in January. Today it reminds me of a search light, combing the sky above, looking for a starman….
TODAY'S WORD: se rendre compte
: to realize
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J’ai toujours pensé que j’étais un artiste intellectuel, je me rends compte aujourd’hui que, la moitié du temps, je n’ai aucune idée de ce que je suis en train de faire. Et plus je vieillis, moins je réfléchis à ce que je fais.
I'm terribly intuitive—I always thought I was intellectual about what I do, but I've come to the realisation that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing half the time. And the older I get, the less I think about what I am doing. -David Bowie.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
What More Can An Artist Strive For?
The best tribute one can give David Bowie is to continue on with their art or their art de vivre. For me, this means continuing to write today, whether the words come easily or not.
This morning I woke up thinking about the reader who shamed my dog and me, and about what kind of response I could give him. Sarcasm popped up as one in a million possibilities, until I remembered the words of Glennys.
I met Glennys in my first writing support group, found by chance after signing up for the internet in the late 90s. The group was called BIC HOK TAM, which stood for:
Butt In Chair
Hands on Keyboard
Typing Away Madly
The name of the group was beside the point. Mostly, the writers chatted. One day, I delurked and joined in! After several weeks I got to know their personalities, and was surprised to learn they'd already pieced together mine….
One day someone said something, I can't remember what, and I sat behind my screen, trying to come up with a witty response. The subject was banal enough (so banal I cannot remember it), but, eager to write something writerly (whatever that meant), I painstakingly formulated my response (probably reading and rereading it 17 times before hitting "post", at which point my heart would have thumped until someone responded).
That's when Glennys from Scottland popped up. I will never forget what she said: "Kristi, sarcasm does not suit you."
But it sure suited Glennys! Oh, how I enjoyed her retorts! (And now I am reminded of what the original thread must have been: another of Glenny's sarcastic insights. I must have been inspired to respond in like.)
Glenny's wouldn't have it. Instead, she took the opportunity to help me find my voice.
Though I still may be influenced by others, such influences are at the risk of not ringing true to readers. Speaking of which… Did I tell you about the reader who shamed my dog? I still have not responded to his comment. I will try to now–by saying what comes to heart, in the next instant, while typing this essay….
Dear (I can't remember your name),
And that, it seems, is the end of my letter! The fact is, "a good comeback" is found nowhere in my writing repertoire. So I will use what tools I have acquired so far, the biggest of which, is this:
La sensibilité.
Which brings us back to David Bowie: more than having sensitivity, through his work–through who he was–he brought out sensitivity in others. What more can an artist strive for?
This inspires a few more words for the man who shamed my dog:
Dear (I can't remember your name),
I sincerely do not mean any disrespect by addressing you in this way. The fact is, I cannot remember your name. Mysteriously, I can remember the name of the person who commented after you.
I'm signing off, now, to wonder why….
Amicalement,
Kristi
We can be heros, just for one day. -David Bowie
COMMENTS
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Dear Kristi,
I don’t understand at all why anyone would consider shaming your sweet Smokey – even on a bad day! Why….?
Tell him he’s not forced to read FWAD.
Greetings from a cold, but sunny Copenhagen.
The sunflower shows how nature can be beautiful even as its flowering finishes.
I don’t know who it was who shamed Smokey . A misery no doubt . We all love dear Smokey & long may he feature in your photos
Audrey x
One word: Brilliant!
wait…what??? One of your readers shamed Smokey??? I missed this comment. For the love, what is wrong with him??? I’m sensing he has more going on than just posting negative comments. Sarcasm is in my repertoire…let me at ‘im!!
OK! Lets use your repertoire =-)
I dont either, Jens.
Audrey, Love what you say about the Sunflower, and about Smokey, too.
Un mot: Merci!
Kristi,
No need to reply to the person who “shamed” you and Smokey.
Those who feel the need to shame others, have already shamed themselves.
There is no ‘splaining the active participation of doofuses, enrobed in their mean pettiness, who blather away on open forums like yours. Fortunately, like shooting stars, they blaze out in the twinkle of an eye (no disrespect to les étoiles!) while the beautiful open hearts buzz in and find lovely commom ground. I always snort and stomp and see red when some errant doofus posts here, but try to hold back my screeching ” HOW DARE YOU! foul dog?!” response. Your many followers feel quite protective of you, and while I know the best course is to ignore doofus drivel, it’s just so hard!! Ok, I think I made my tiny point, and worked in three solid references to “doofus,” a useful word for me today. Or have I turned into one?! Ha, ha! Love you, Kristi!
Kristi,
I, too, must have missed the poster who shamed Smokey. That poster must not have a life.
Smokey is wonderful, sweet, loving, gentle, and the list goes on and on and is greatly loved.
The photo of the sunflower brightens my day!
Kristi, just ignore the ignorant comments that you feel have shamed you and our adorable Smokey. The person who made that comment has a mean spirit and is not worthy
Of your attention.
Keep on with your delightful posts and stunning photography.
Kristi, I must have missed that comment too, but as others have said, only an angry, unhappy “doofus” — love that one, Patty — would say unkind things about our Smokey. Doofus probably isn’t lucky enough to have a loving dog. And why should he be? You know what a mother dog does to a naughty puppy? She just walks away and ignores him — often the best treatment. Keep brightening our days ma belle amie.
Kristi, thank you for sharing those words from David Bowie, and the photo of the gorgeous sunny sunflower in its mature glory. Your reply to Nobody is perfect. His/her opinion shouldn’t and doesn’t matter. I love the photo of you cuddling with dear Smokey and the serene smile on your face.
Salut Kristin,
The Arizona cowgirl response that you’ve used in past is an viable option, but may be overkill for “noname”
Herm
Indifference is the best revenge. That you can’t remember the poster’s name is perfect! Happiness and love are great, too, and I see so much of both in the photo of you and Smokey. No one can touch that!
Perfectly said. I feel utter confusion and sadness for anyone who could even think of shaming either Kristi or beautiful Mr. Smokey, both of whom bring so much happiness to so many around the world.
I can think of many times when I was having a bad day and a picture of them together (or just Smokey being Smokey) would bring a smile to my face.
Bisous to you Kristi! And Scratchies to Mr. Smoke-ah-doke-artichoke!
I missed that comment too, but as others have said, just ignore that kind of thing and save your energy for your insightful writing and wonderful photography and being a lovely mum and wife and beautiful owner of a precious dog. Thanks so much again for all your great posts and the photos which are so inspiring. Can I say again, you are like Bonnard with a camera, with your subject matter of family, garden, dogs, bowls of fruit etc. It is a privilege to enjoy them. xxx
I love pictures of you and your dog, Smokey! Keep them coming, please!
Who in the WORLD could shame a golden? Lemme at’im. Defenseless, beautiful, sweet dog. I love him more in each next picture.
Yes, you bring us sunshine, flowers, puppies, the love of family, sensitive quotes … all wrapped up with insightful, and sometimes humorous, words.
I think the first line Dear (I don’t remember your name) was a perfect retort.
And what a blessing to belong to a writing group that appreciates your voice and helps you find and keep it!
Amazing how many of us tuned that comment out! I’d like to think that I said to myself, “Well, somebody’s having a crabby day!” and let it go. Probably most of your readers did the same, as one of the things you’ve taught us is to be gentle and forgiving to others as well as ourselves.
Mara in snowy Wisconsin
I have always wondered why anyone would say nasty things on your blog or for that matter on anyone’s blog. Why, Why I wonder. Even if that person is having a bad day, does being mean make it any better. I think not. We will never know why people do the things they do.
xoxo
Hi from Minnesota, Kristi!
This incident brought to mind an episode of This American Life I heard about trolls who enjoy making others miserable. Perhaps listening may give you some insight, maybe even solace – I hope. You are not alone: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps
My very best to you and to beautiful, wonderful Smokey. I hope that soon you won’t even remember the insensitive internet jerk’s words. 🙂
Dogs, for the most part, give us unconditional love. Unconditiooal love is a gift……especially as life goes on and age creeps up. My lovely lab died a year ago, and she broke my heart……Lucy was amazing. Her side kick was my siamese cat, 16 years old, who keeps me company and reminds me of how unconditional love heals!!! It is sad that this person has not experienced the amazing love one gets from these amazing beings.
Was there ever a more complete artiste than David Bowie, the world is a much sadder place without him. RIP Ziggy
I did read the comment and thought “What a jerk”. And then out of curiosity I watched the video and thought “What a jerk”. I know it’s easier to give advice than to take it (and I am extremely thin skinned so this person’s comment, no matter how unjustified, would bother me for a long time) but truly, ignore this cretin. I agree, indifference trumps retort.
Writers are made, not born…and some of us are born to write…to turn a phrase….to analyze ad nauseum… to get the meaning just right. Famous authors, in interviews, often mention they write the book three times before the “leanness” of thought emerge as a polished piece. That is true of my experience as well. When a friend told me I could SIRI to dictate my emails and speed up the process…I wonder if that would also force me to be more succinct in my speecH. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Sarcasm, shaming, both are unkind, unloving and destructive to any relationship. That is why your response is perfect. If you can’t say anything nice or constructive, don’t say anything at all. Everyone has heard this, but it is so easily forgotten. You, better than most, know the power of your words. Hugs
… as for the man…’some things are best forgotten’! Judi Dunn, Tallahassee, Fl.
I used to belong to a group that read a small blue book, called One Day at a Time, and on page 114 is a sentence I will not forget. “Repugnant as it is in itself, sarcasm becomes even more distasteful when we find it comes from the Greek verb, ‘sarcazo’ which means “to tear flesh”. That hit me like a sledgehammer and I remind myself of this often. (Todays photo is the most beautiful sunflower I’ve ever seen. thanks.)
Hi Kristin,
I missed the comment shaming Smokey, but that shows you that I usually scan over the bad comments and just focus on the good and so should you! I think people are drawn to positive helpful comments. Don’t worry about it! I love the sunflower photo! So cheerful and warm looking on this cold day!
I like most of your other readers can not understand shaming anyone but Smokey really. I love your photos and as I have said before I live inFrance thru you . I love your blog!
Kristi, You’re taking the high road, as they say. Whatever that one comment was about Smokey, it came from a sad place- and not your place, so don’t claim it.
I am always inspired by your posts and so often you have tapped into something I am feeling as well-only you are able to put it into words. THank you.
And thanks for the beautiful sunflower- do you mind if I paint a watercolor from it? One of my favorite subjects and haven’t painted one this year.
You are so sweet. In my eyes (or is it my mind??) you write beautifully. I enjoy your postings so much
Your baking video, with Smokey in it, really brought to life for me your life in France in a way that the printed page just could not do. It also moved me to finally bake the yoghurt cake that I had read about on one of your previous blogs. The whole thing was a delightful experience: getting a further glimpse into your charming, dog-filled life, and baking and tasting the lovely cake. My family was happy, too!
I hope you and Smokey make more videos!
If someone wants to shame a dog, in this case , Smokey, then they just shouldn’t be reading your blog. Some people are just nasty and love to rag on people and animals.
We love Smokey and you, so try to forget the guy.
Boy, with the sunflowers in January and all of the other vegetation which is coming to life in in St Cyr, wish I was there instead in Connecticut where the temp is 28F.
I took great pleasure in responding to that jerk, telling him to go troll somewhere else. His condescending insults made me wonder if he had been listening to The Donald a bit too much? But even as I posted it, my heart raced, too. The internet has opened a door for people to be so insensitive in anonymous ways. It really brings out the nastiness in some people. And when I respond to that, I open myself up for more bullets coming my way. I have promised myself not to read the comments on most websites, they are too disturbing. This column should be safe from that, but alas, the trolls squeeze through the tiniest cracks and spew all over us. Listen to the loving people here and turn away from the ugly ones. And give that Smoke Bomb a huge hug and kiss. We love you both very much.
Please do paint it, Diane!
Thank you, Sheryl!
Thank you all so very much for your responses to this post. I am very touched by your support! Smokey is beside me, having turned in for the night. The sound of his snoring is one of my favorite things, and so are your comments!
Well, it is very clear how your readers feel about you and Mr. Smokey -oh – ke – doke – artichoke!!!! I love that name for him. He is so sweet and anyone who even thinks about shaming those who give unconditional love to we humans is a jerk. Give that beautiful Golden a hug for me and an extra tug on his ears from Yogi and Goldie. Humans are imperfect and we need each other to remind us how to better behave. Let’s hope the Jerk is reading today.
I somehow missed the comment about Smokey as well. But I don’t care about what he said any more than you care about remembering his name. I don’t understand why anyone says something just to be mean (and anonymous). Serious critique is one thing; trolling is another. You and that handsome golden stay just how you are. And I bet that troll has never once been a hero to anyone — not even for an hour.
PS I love the sunflower!!
Why or what could anyone say against your dog? Makes no sense.
KRISTIN, KRISTIN. YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH, OF MYSELF WHEN I WAS YOUNG. I WORE MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE, I WOULD CRY A LOT, EVERY LITTLE THING BOTHERED ME ETC. LET ME TELL YOU. I AM 84 AND LIFE IS FABUFUL. I CAN WALK INTO A ROOM AND NOT GIVE A **** WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT ME. I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS, I HAVE TO BEAT THEM OFF WITH A STICK. NOT SO, IN THE ” OLDEN” DAYS. I DO NOT CRY ANYMORE. I AM HAPPY AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. I CAN TELL, YOU FEEL SO DEEPLY, YOU ARE EASILY HURT. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY? I THINK WHEN YOU HAVE A FEW MORE YEARS, UNDER YOUR BELT, THINGS WILL SMOOTH OUT. YOU ARE PRECIOUS AND DARLING AND I LOVE YOU. AND SO DO THE MINIONS WHO READ YOUR COLUMN. SOOOOOO PRETTY, WITH THE HANDSOME HUSBAND AND PERFECT CHILDREN. YOU ARE SO LOVABLE, I THINK YOUR VULNERABILITY MAKES YOU SO, BUT YOU NEED TO ” TOUGHEN UP”. I LOVED ALL THE BLOGS TAKING UP FOR YOUR BELOVED DOG. WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY ANYTHING AGAINST A PRECIOUS PET? THERE ARE JUST A FEW CREEPS IN THIS WORLD, IGNORE THEM AND STEP OVER THEM IN THE GUTTER WHERE THEY LIVE. LIFE IS GOOD AND PEOPLE ARE MOSTLY,,, THE SAME. FRIENDS, JOY WOOD
Our dear Kristi,
If the picture of a beautiful sunflower reminds you of a searchlight,then please know that your gifted words and posts are so many times just exactly that for us,your fortunate readers,each of us on our own life paths,searching for the answers to questions we need to solve.
Your reply to Mr No Name was totally perfect;what a rude individual who really deserved none.
Dog (any animal) shamers seem to me to be on a potential path to animal abusers.(needless to say,they have a special place in hell).A report I recently read also drew a valid correlation between people who began as animal abusers and then progressed into people abusers.
Horrible!
I am too old to truly feel the magic of David Bowie.
But one thing for sure:I’d love to be a hero for a day… wow!make that for even 60 seconds!
Love
Natalia XO
What a frightening thought.
PS Please disregard that last line! It seemed to vanish into thin air after I wrote it and now I know where it went!!!!!
To put my stamp on all of the above messages, too– I am more of a cat person myself, but Smokey (and his dear mum, also) are two dogs I have fallen absolutely in love with, even though having never met them in person! I am appalled that someone would shame Sweet Smokes, or you– beautiful, talented, genuine, caring, affectionate, generous Kristin. I hope that his message has been deleted! As well it should have been!! There is no room on a genuinely open blog such as this for that kind of negativity! We are here to support one another, and that.is.it! So there!
Love ya, hon…
Just keep being YOU,
(and tell Smokey the same when he awakens!)
~Alisa
Kristi, I share these heartfelt supportive responses from the rest of the FanFamily. May their healing words help much as you seek to release that colossal eejit`s ignorant cruelty. How easily we HSP`s can fall prey to the viciousness of others, even strangers who sense our vulnerability.
Pity and prayer for toxic people help victims to detach. ‘Leave them to Heaven,’ as the saying goes. Ignore them utterly, if possible. Ruminating around our lingering resentment is said to be “like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.”
As a hypersensitive 12 Stepper, I confront my resentful feelings often. Bit by bit, I am learning that self-compassion and acceptance help me to blow off deliberate and inadvertent assaults on me and mine from others. Great when a bitter wound, like the rage I feel, goes POUFF! as a result.
May this burr in your fine good heart wither and fall away forever. We LOVE you, and are so endlessly grateful for you openness and eloquence. You are a treasure.