Un oubli? No, I did not forget today's photo! I need to leave out pictures, this one time, in an attempt to solve a mystery: "The Vertical Letters Mystery"….
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TODAY'S WORD:
oublieux, oublieuse
: forgetful, oblivious
AUDIO: Listen to Jackie read today's example sentence:
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Qui est sujet à oublier, en particulier les bienfaits reçus : Il est oublieux, mais ce n'est pas méchanceté de sa part. (Larousse.com)
One who is subject to forgetfulness, especially in regards to benefits he or she has received: he is forgetful, but it's not spitefulness.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE… by Kristin Espinasse
The other day, while scrolling down my Facebook feed, an ad jumped right off the page! Usually I skip right over all the seamless Facebook marketing, having developed an eye for ads that are formatted to look like posts, but this particular "update" struck a personal chord: forgetfulness….
Come to think of it, it wasn't a Facebook ad at all. No–it was a post by a FB group I follow. Yes, that's it, "The Alzheimer's Association." I don't recall why I opted-in for Alzheimer updates, but I could surely trace it back, given a moment to reflect.
But back to my story: I saw the update–highlighting a film about a woman with young onset Alzheimer's. The film poster showed a beautiful woman who appears to be daydreaming (up to now a favorite past-time of mine). Though extremely intrigued and tempted to see the movie trailer, a mixture of superstition and paranoia begged the question: Did a middle-aged rêveuse really want to know more about "young onset" Alzheimer's?
Having been reared by a positive force of nature (Mom), I was taught early on a powerful truth: What you think is what you get….. But if one were truly atteint with young onset Alheimer's this "what you think is what you get" axiom would be no more than a moot point. For one has to consistently remember in order for the mind to forge a new reality.
Doubts aside, I began repeating the name of the film: Still Alice… Still Alice… Still Alice. Only, seconds later, having made it over to the Google box, the second-guessing began.
Just an unlucky coincidence, I thought, returning quickly to the Facebook update in time to re-memorize the film's title. Managing this time to type in the correct name, I landed on another clip–a completely different movie. A hilarious film starring the same beautiful actress! But after watching the talented Julia Moore I began to wonder, "Wasn't this movie clip supposed to be about Alzheimer's? But there wasn't one scene that had anything to do with the subject of forgetfulness!"
And then it came back to me: having searched in vain for the film, I'd clicked on something else. That's how I ended up here in the first place.
I never did find the full trailer to "Still Alice." But I did discover the book and instantly downloaded it on my iPad. You can download Still Alice, too, or enter today's book giveaway. Bonne chance!
GIVEAWAY
To win this tender, delicately humorous and informative book, tell me something you have heard about Alzheimer's–or share something you know personally about this disease. It could be a tip, a fact, a belief–anything that would expand our awareness of Alzheimer's.
"In Lisa Genova’s extraordinary New York Times bestselling novel, an accomplished woman slowly loses her thoughts and memories to Alzheimer’s disease—only to discover that each day brings a new way of living and loving." Download the book or enter the giveaway and win a copy.
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I have just finished caring for my father and his wife. I would say don’t ignore the signs, early intervention is best. Forgetfulness can be followed by paranoia and delusion. Be sure their affairs are in order, ie wills and powers of attorney for healthcare and financial. Talk to their healthcare provider. Had I known then what I know now, I would have acted sooner. Be aware they will resist help. The Alzheimers Assoc. website is a good resource and includes a list of the different types of dementias and their symptoms.
I have just finished caring for my father and his wife. I would say don’t ignore the signs, early intervention is best. Forgetfulness can be followed by paranoia and delusion. Be sure their affairs are in order, ie wills and powers of attorney for healthcare and financial. Talk to their healthcare provider. Had I known then what I know now, I would have acted sooner. Be aware they will resist help. The Alzheimers Assoc. website is a good resource and includes a list of the different types of dementias and their symptoms.
Fortunately my family has not been directly hit by Alzheimers…but I have an interest….I think that is depends on what part of the brain is affected first…a lady at church lost her memory of motion and couldn’t walk even though she could talk OK so that was obvious….a secretary at my husband’s work explained that her mom had the disease and kept a daily diary and became more and more vicious and vindictive and wrote things like “why don’t my kids invite me over for Thanksgiving” when you know that they did and even offered to drive her….Some people have different mental diseases that are akin to Alzheimers but are serious and have different symptoms. Interesting and I agree that the more information we have the better we are.
Fortunately my family has not been directly hit by Alzheimers…but I have an interest….I think that is depends on what part of the brain is affected first…a lady at church lost her memory of motion and couldn’t walk even though she could talk OK so that was obvious….a secretary at my husband’s work explained that her mom had the disease and kept a daily diary and became more and more vicious and vindictive and wrote things like “why don’t my kids invite me over for Thanksgiving” when you know that they did and even offered to drive her….Some people have different mental diseases that are akin to Alzheimers but are serious and have different symptoms. Interesting and I agree that the more information we have the better we are.
My Mother recently passed away from Lewey Body Alzheimers. I braced for what I thought would be a frightening and dark experience but it turned out to be one of the sweetest blessings for our family.
Through this two-year experience, My Mother and I came to know each other not just as Mother and Daughter, but as women and friends, and eventually, as Mother and Daughter in reversed rolls.
I found that I could understand my Mother in her later days when her thoughts were scrambled or lost because she generally spoke of the same issues. When she couldn’t find the right words I could figure out what she wanted to say and gently finished her sentences for her. I made sure that she was in agreement with my words before we went forward in our conversation. I would say, Since we are Catholic, I would say, “Saint Anthony please come ’round. My Mother’s thoughts are missing and can’t be found,” and most often my Mother would remember her thought and finish her sentence. It was touching to watch this.
I made a photo album with her children’s pictures and wrote their names and phone numbers next to each photo and put the album by her phone, next to her bed. I chose pictures that elicited memories of special, sweet times and pictures that showed my Mother with each of her friends and children, happy memories. We put a family photo collage outside her door so that she could find her way back to her room without too much stress.
I made sure my Mother had loving company or phone calls most days and came to Nursing Home sponsored events so that she wouldn’t feel abandoned. She told me this was especially important to her.
I let my Mother know that I was saying her prayers for her when she could no longer remember the words. I don’t think it was a coincidence that I could say a complete rosary on each leg of my journeys to see her. This seemed to meaan everything to her.
My Mother said she clearly knew we loved her and I let her know I was very clear that she loved me. When my Mother couldn’t remember her husband of 40 years’ name, I brought his photos out and reminded her of their best times together. I kept her updated on family events, always leaving the conversation affirming our love and respect for each other.
When my Mother became frightened, I listened carefully to her concerns. I put my arm around her and assured her all would work out … and it did. We always ended our visits with hugs and kisses and affirmations of love, as if it could be our last time together.
But the biggest gift for me was realizing that I had the most amazing woman for a Mother My Mother was not only the beautiful, sweet loving Mother I grew up with, but she was also courageous and gracious in the face of Alzheimer’s, the secret blessing.
My Mother recently passed away from Lewey Body Alzheimers. I braced for what I thought would be a frightening and dark experience but it turned out to be one of the sweetest blessings for our family.
Through this two-year experience, My Mother and I came to know each other not just as Mother and Daughter, but as women and friends, and eventually, as Mother and Daughter in reversed rolls.
I found that I could understand my Mother in her later days when her thoughts were scrambled or lost because she generally spoke of the same issues. When she couldn’t find the right words I could figure out what she wanted to say and gently finished her sentences for her. I made sure that she was in agreement with my words before we went forward in our conversation. I would say, Since we are Catholic, I would say, “Saint Anthony please come ’round. My Mother’s thoughts are missing and can’t be found,” and most often my Mother would remember her thought and finish her sentence. It was touching to watch this.
I made a photo album with her children’s pictures and wrote their names and phone numbers next to each photo and put the album by her phone, next to her bed. I chose pictures that elicited memories of special, sweet times and pictures that showed my Mother with each of her friends and children, happy memories. We put a family photo collage outside her door so that she could find her way back to her room without too much stress.
I made sure my Mother had loving company or phone calls most days and came to Nursing Home sponsored events so that she wouldn’t feel abandoned. She told me this was especially important to her.
I let my Mother know that I was saying her prayers for her when she could no longer remember the words. I don’t think it was a coincidence that I could say a complete rosary on each leg of my journeys to see her. This seemed to meaan everything to her.
My Mother said she clearly knew we loved her and I let her know I was very clear that she loved me. When my Mother couldn’t remember her husband of 40 years’ name, I brought his photos out and reminded her of their best times together. I kept her updated on family events, always leaving the conversation affirming our love and respect for each other.
When my Mother became frightened, I listened carefully to her concerns. I put my arm around her and assured her all would work out … and it did. We always ended our visits with hugs and kisses and affirmations of love, as if it could be our last time together.
But the biggest gift for me was realizing that I had the most amazing woman for a Mother My Mother was not only the beautiful, sweet loving Mother I grew up with, but she was also courageous and gracious in the face of Alzheimer’s, the secret blessing.
My Mother’s Alzheimer’ was correctly diagnosed as Lewey Body Alzheimer’s when we told the Doctor that my Mother’s handwriting had become microscopic. Apparently this is specific to Lewey Body.
My Mother’s Alzheimer’ was correctly diagnosed as Lewey Body Alzheimer’s when we told the Doctor that my Mother’s handwriting had become microscopic. Apparently this is specific to Lewey Body.
Our dear Kristi,
Another touching and beautiful post today(as always!)
You brought home such an important point about this terrible disease:fear.For both you and your family.And equally(if not more)important,education with exactly what we are dealing with.
As an older person,I find myself forgetful in many ways I did not before.I try to keep my body and mind active,but each time there i s a blank space in my memory bank,the fear of the unknown sneaks in like a thief.
Thank you for your inspiring words which shed so much light for us.Another reminder that the only fear we have to worry about is fear itself.
Love
Natalia. xo
Our dear Kristi,
Another touching and beautiful post today(as always!)
You brought home such an important point about this terrible disease:fear.For both you and your family.And equally(if not more)important,education with exactly what we are dealing with.
As an older person,I find myself forgetful in many ways I did not before.I try to keep my body and mind active,but each time there i s a blank space in my memory bank,the fear of the unknown sneaks in like a thief.
Thank you for your inspiring words which shed so much light for us.Another reminder that the only fear we have to worry about is fear itself.
Love
Natalia. xo
Coming from a farming community, I’ve noticed a connection to pesticides. Just my belief, but a reminder to be cautious!
We pray for a cure.!
Coming from a farming community, I’ve noticed a connection to pesticides. Just my belief, but a reminder to be cautious!
We pray for a cure.!
My mother died from Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) lat December. Fortunately, she never lost her sweet personality. She also never forgot who I was; perhaps because I was with her 24/7/365, but I continue to thank God for that blessing for both of us as it was a comfort for her, too.
I think what many misunderstand is that AD is more than forgetfulness of faces, places and events. I have heard people make comments such as “Oh, so and so is perfectly healthy except he has Alzheimer’s.” No one would say someone is perfectly healthy except they have cancer or Parkinson’s disease. Eventually, the brain no longer has the ability to send signals to the body and the patient is unable to swallow, walk, or breathe. My mother was confined to a hospital bed in her home for the last 7 months of her life. I cared for her with the help of our local Hospice.
What I would advice people to do when they visiting someone with Alzheimer’s or another dementia is not ask if that person remembers them, but rather reintroduce themselves along with how they know each other. My mother often spoke of friends and family, but in her mind she pictured them as younger. It makes sense then when patients don’t recognize a visitor. And, as Nick mentioned, if they don’t remember you, they still might like a nice chat with a nice visitor.
I am also connected to the Alzheimer’s Association group on LinkedIn. It is a good site for sharing information, too. One such resource I discovered there is http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com.
Other good books are “Another Name for Madness” by Marion Roach Smith and “Jan’s Story” by Barry Petersen (both journalists, so their personal stories are very well written). Smith’s was the first book I read that revealed the toll the disease takes on the caregiver as well. I often say, AD is like second hand smoke, it can wipe out the health of more than one person at a time.
Blessings to all and thanks, Kristin, for opening up this discussion.
My mother died from Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) lat December. Fortunately, she never lost her sweet personality. She also never forgot who I was; perhaps because I was with her 24/7/365, but I continue to thank God for that blessing for both of us as it was a comfort for her, too.
I think what many misunderstand is that AD is more than forgetfulness of faces, places and events. I have heard people make comments such as “Oh, so and so is perfectly healthy except he has Alzheimer’s.” No one would say someone is perfectly healthy except they have cancer or Parkinson’s disease. Eventually, the brain no longer has the ability to send signals to the body and the patient is unable to swallow, walk, or breathe. My mother was confined to a hospital bed in her home for the last 7 months of her life. I cared for her with the help of our local Hospice.
What I would advice people to do when they visiting someone with Alzheimer’s or another dementia is not ask if that person remembers them, but rather reintroduce themselves along with how they know each other. My mother often spoke of friends and family, but in her mind she pictured them as younger. It makes sense then when patients don’t recognize a visitor. And, as Nick mentioned, if they don’t remember you, they still might like a nice chat with a nice visitor.
I am also connected to the Alzheimer’s Association group on LinkedIn. It is a good site for sharing information, too. One such resource I discovered there is http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com.
Other good books are “Another Name for Madness” by Marion Roach Smith and “Jan’s Story” by Barry Petersen (both journalists, so their personal stories are very well written). Smith’s was the first book I read that revealed the toll the disease takes on the caregiver as well. I often say, AD is like second hand smoke, it can wipe out the health of more than one person at a time.
Blessings to all and thanks, Kristin, for opening up this discussion.
So many of your followers affected by this dreadful disease . My step -mum died from it & in my partner,s family he has three grandchildren who suffer from various forms of it .It is a charity deserving of donations . How wonderful if they can find a cure !
There is an interesting book ,now also a play in London’s West End,entitled “The Curious Incidence of the Dog in the Night” written by Mark Haddon It deals with Asperger’s Syndrome,( A high functioning Autism.
At my advanced age I take care to do the cryptic crossword to exercise the grey cells!
So many of your followers affected by this dreadful disease . My step -mum died from it & in my partner,s family he has three grandchildren who suffer from various forms of it .It is a charity deserving of donations . How wonderful if they can find a cure !
There is an interesting book ,now also a play in London’s West End,entitled “The Curious Incidence of the Dog in the Night” written by Mark Haddon It deals with Asperger’s Syndrome,( A high functioning Autism.
At my advanced age I take care to do the cryptic crossword to exercise the grey cells!
I too lost my Mamma to Alzheimer’s. Although any disease is terrible, this one is particularly cruel. I remember the Friday when my brother and I were just sitting and holding her hands, finding conversation difficult. I wanted so badly to have something to say to her, so I told her: “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and grant you His peace.” As I wept my way home, I respectfully asked Him if her state of being pleased Him. Jesus came and walked her in heaven just after lunch the following Saturday. Of course, I don’t know the extent of suffering a person has with this disease. I only know the extent other loved ones have observing the ‘slow crawl’ towards death. I was relieved when the Lord answered our prayers for complete healing for her that day.
Blessings as always, dear Kristi!
I too lost my Mamma to Alzheimer’s. Although any disease is terrible, this one is particularly cruel. I remember the Friday when my brother and I were just sitting and holding her hands, finding conversation difficult. I wanted so badly to have something to say to her, so I told her: “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and grant you His peace.” As I wept my way home, I respectfully asked Him if her state of being pleased Him. Jesus came and walked her in heaven just after lunch the following Saturday. Of course, I don’t know the extent of suffering a person has with this disease. I only know the extent other loved ones have observing the ‘slow crawl’ towards death. I was relieved when the Lord answered our prayers for complete healing for her that day.
Blessings as always, dear Kristi!
Kristin, It’s my speculation that your interest in Alzheimer updates
may have been prompted by the reader who made an appeal to
you for help in finding her mother who had wandered away from home. The suffering of that reader and her family likely touched your heart and made you want to search for ways to continue to ease their pain and sense of isolation, hence the need to share and find meaning and comfort in similar stories. It is a sure sign of kindness when you have the desire to lighten someone’s load. Joanne, Carmel=by-the-Sea.
Kristin, It’s my speculation that your interest in Alzheimer updates
may have been prompted by the reader who made an appeal to
you for help in finding her mother who had wandered away from home. The suffering of that reader and her family likely touched your heart and made you want to search for ways to continue to ease their pain and sense of isolation, hence the need to share and find meaning and comfort in similar stories. It is a sure sign of kindness when you have the desire to lighten someone’s load. Joanne, Carmel=by-the-Sea.
Here’s something I overheard accidentally just a couple of weeks ago: turmeric can help prevent Alzheimer’s. I haven’t had a chance to look this up, to confirm whether there have been many studies done on this particular benefit of eating turmeric. In any case, I will continue to sprinkle the orange powder on everything, just because I like it. 😉 Still Alice is actually on my ‘to read’ list!
Here’s something I overheard accidentally just a couple of weeks ago: turmeric can help prevent Alzheimer’s. I haven’t had a chance to look this up, to confirm whether there have been many studies done on this particular benefit of eating turmeric. In any case, I will continue to sprinkle the orange powder on everything, just because I like it. 😉 Still Alice is actually on my ‘to read’ list!
The e-mail was fine, and so is the sound file. But ‘word’ is not in the title today. Guess I liked it having a title, French word a day.
Alzheimer’s disease struck my sister-in-law in her early fifties, and the youngest of her six children were still at home. It pulls our whole extended family together, as her children respond in part by walking to raise funds for research each year, one walk up in Chicago and one where the youngest attend college, and another in their hometown. My younger brother is changing how he does everything with his wife and their children. It is amazing how she is watched by all of us at family gatherings, which tend to be large, always someone by her side.
Her children miss the full force of her personality the most. We savor her, not knowing what the future holds day by day.
Not sure if I will watch that movie.
The e-mail was fine, and so is the sound file. But ‘word’ is not in the title today. Guess I liked it having a title, French word a day.
Alzheimer’s disease struck my sister-in-law in her early fifties, and the youngest of her six children were still at home. It pulls our whole extended family together, as her children respond in part by walking to raise funds for research each year, one walk up in Chicago and one where the youngest attend college, and another in their hometown. My younger brother is changing how he does everything with his wife and their children. It is amazing how she is watched by all of us at family gatherings, which tend to be large, always someone by her side.
Her children miss the full force of her personality the most. We savor her, not knowing what the future holds day by day.
Not sure if I will watch that movie.
My mom suffered from dementia for the last year of her life, and it was heartbreaking. Each day she begged to go home, and it took us a long time to realize she was referring to her childhood home in Mississippi; a place and a people that no longer existed. When she passed away, we carried her ashes back to Mississippi and buried them in her parents’ grave (a single grave, both dying the same day and family not wanting them separated). Glad we could have her resting in her parents’ arms.
On a more cheery note, while recent memories disappear for Alzheimer’s victims, older ones remain. One of the most rewarding things for them and their care givers is playing old music. They enjoy so much hearing it, they generally remember all of the words, and they love dancing to the old tunes. Find some upbeat tunes from their youth and enjoy daily music therapy to make their days and your own more enjoyable.
My mom suffered from dementia for the last year of her life, and it was heartbreaking. Each day she begged to go home, and it took us a long time to realize she was referring to her childhood home in Mississippi; a place and a people that no longer existed. When she passed away, we carried her ashes back to Mississippi and buried them in her parents’ grave (a single grave, both dying the same day and family not wanting them separated). Glad we could have her resting in her parents’ arms.
On a more cheery note, while recent memories disappear for Alzheimer’s victims, older ones remain. One of the most rewarding things for them and their care givers is playing old music. They enjoy so much hearing it, they generally remember all of the words, and they love dancing to the old tunes. Find some upbeat tunes from their youth and enjoy daily music therapy to make their days and your own more enjoyable.
Kristin:
I heard Lisa Genova speak at the Savannah Book Festival a few years ago. She’s as inspiring a speaker as she is a writer. I would recommend any of her books to you.
Edie from Savannah
Kristin:
I heard Lisa Genova speak at the Savannah Book Festival a few years ago. She’s as inspiring a speaker as she is a writer. I would recommend any of her books to you.
Edie from Savannah
We have recently begun using essential oils. Frankincense is supposed to help with memory problems as well as asthma, arthritis, chronic pain and many other things. I started using it on my mother who does not have Alzheimer’s but does have severe memory problems and is is really helping. Also my brother with chronic pain has found it to be more helpful than any medications.
It was one of the gifts of the Three Kings, after all! There must be something really special about it!
We have recently begun using essential oils. Frankincense is supposed to help with memory problems as well as asthma, arthritis, chronic pain and many other things. I started using it on my mother who does not have Alzheimer’s but does have severe memory problems and is is really helping. Also my brother with chronic pain has found it to be more helpful than any medications.
It was one of the gifts of the Three Kings, after all! There must be something really special about it!
I’ll be honest: I just want to win the book, but I will comment that Alzheimer’s shares a horrid trait with many misunderstood illnesses, there is a terrible stigma. The people with this, and other “scary” diseases don’t need one more variable added to the mix.
Think of your beloved Smokey. People may fear or pity him because his tongue sticks out. My new dog is feared because he is big and black, but he is an absolute sweetheart.
I’ll be honest: I just want to win the book, but I will comment that Alzheimer’s shares a horrid trait with many misunderstood illnesses, there is a terrible stigma. The people with this, and other “scary” diseases don’t need one more variable added to the mix.
Think of your beloved Smokey. People may fear or pity him because his tongue sticks out. My new dog is feared because he is big and black, but he is an absolute sweetheart.
Thanks everyone for sharing today….
Joan L.
Thanks everyone for sharing today….
Joan L.
Thank you for sharing this as it has touched me deeply. I learned recently that a close personal friend has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. It was so sad to learn this – the person is extremely intelligent, very active, and has lived a very healthy life. My father had this, too, and it was so hard to see someone who had always been kind and loving become (because of the disease) mean, hurtful, and unaware of his actions.
Thank you for sharing this as it has touched me deeply. I learned recently that a close personal friend has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. It was so sad to learn this – the person is extremely intelligent, very active, and has lived a very healthy life. My father had this, too, and it was so hard to see someone who had always been kind and loving become (because of the disease) mean, hurtful, and unaware of his actions.
I found the link to the clip and watched it. Hope this works for you.
http://www.hitfix.com/in-contention/still-alice-stars-julianne-moore-kristen-stewart-validate-oscar-buzz-in-new-clip
I found the link to the clip and watched it. Hope this works for you.
http://www.hitfix.com/in-contention/still-alice-stars-julianne-moore-kristen-stewart-validate-oscar-buzz-in-new-clip
I do not know anyone who’s life hasn’t been touched by the horror of dementia/Alzheimer’s Disease. Some have been in their 70’s like my sisters-in-law and others have had the early onset type. This would include my first husband and the father of my 3 strong, beautiful and intelligent daughters. I had to leave after 21 years of being emotionally detached from him as to his infidelities and diminishing character and ethics. 5 years ago a dear friend who was the best man in our wedding emailed me that there was something wrong with Bill’s short term memory. I mentioned this to my daughters who were in complete denial that such a thing could be true. Yet true it was. He was married to wife #3 and living in Palm Beach while having an affair with another old friend who lived in Charleston, SC After he was finally divorced from #3 after many visits via auto from Florida to South Carolina (best man also lived in SC) he intended to move in with the Girlfriend. She was madly in love with him (?) but instead of taking him in, after several trips to Sheridan Wyoming where my middle daughter lived, she decided that she would leave him there for middle daughter to deal with. For 3 years he was a loose cannon and she could not deal with the truth of his condition and felt responsible for him. She had a husband and 2 teenaged children to take care of. In the time that her dad was demanding of her time and energy, he became more belligerent and abusive by the day. Her husband had been the manager of a working dude ranch in Saddlestring for 27 years and was suddenly fired without cause. She was in a state of undiagnosed Crohn’s Disease and would not go to the doctor. She was so busy taking care of her family and her father that she didn’t take care of herself. She had asked me to have the papers drawn up to gain power of attorney when she realized that he needed to be in a care facility. Her sudden death from a ruptured colon January a year ago was a shock and horror to all. She was the daughter of my heart.
After her funeral, that document became a joke as her husband was #2 and my other 2 daughters were next for the POA. He was so out of control that we had to sedate him before the funeral so that he would not make a scene. Frannie’s sisters were not emotional available to take control….so it fell to me. We had a family intervention at his neurologist’s office. The doctor wrote a letter saying that he was a danger to himself and others. Youngest daughter had already returned to work in CO as if she didn’t work, she wasn’t paid. Eldest daughter came down with the flu after the funeral and all of the stress of losing her sister and her dad in one fell swoop. I became his baby-sitter as the in-laws and widower blamed him for F’s death. After another week, V, the eldest and a friend took him to Denver to try to find a place in a Veterans Hospital, no one would take him as he was not in the “system”. Finally they found a Veterans Hospital in Rifle, CO who totally understood the desperate situation and admitted him. He is now in the system. Youngest daughter went to court to become his legal guardian and custodian God Bless her soul. She is single and has no children and is frankly the strongest one to deal with dear old dad. He has deteriorated rapidly in the last 18 months and is on medication for behavioral disorders, dementia, bi-polar disorder and anxiety. Just 2 days ago E. decided it wasn’t safe to take him out for a meal and so brought one in for him. He is unstable on his feet and has fallen once in the facility and has a parkinson’s like spastic right arm and cannot shave without an electric shaver as he was cutting himself with his traditional one. I have just finished reading “We Are Not Ourselves” by Matthew Thomas on this subject. I read the sample for “Still Alice” what a tragic disease that now seems epidemic in our society. Research dollars are not there and our current Congress failed to pass the funding for research this year to the NIH. I have lost my daughter and he is still alive. I will be seeing my son-in-law and two remaining daughters and grandchildren for a brief but necessary reunion in Boulder, CO. We are all driving to meet. My husband and I are in California. What a tragedy for so many people.
I do not know anyone who’s life hasn’t been touched by the horror of dementia/Alzheimer’s Disease. Some have been in their 70’s like my sisters-in-law and others have had the early onset type. This would include my first husband and the father of my 3 strong, beautiful and intelligent daughters. I had to leave after 21 years of being emotionally detached from him as to his infidelities and diminishing character and ethics. 5 years ago a dear friend who was the best man in our wedding emailed me that there was something wrong with Bill’s short term memory. I mentioned this to my daughters who were in complete denial that such a thing could be true. Yet true it was. He was married to wife #3 and living in Palm Beach while having an affair with another old friend who lived in Charleston, SC After he was finally divorced from #3 after many visits via auto from Florida to South Carolina (best man also lived in SC) he intended to move in with the Girlfriend. She was madly in love with him (?) but instead of taking him in, after several trips to Sheridan Wyoming where my middle daughter lived, she decided that she would leave him there for middle daughter to deal with. For 3 years he was a loose cannon and she could not deal with the truth of his condition and felt responsible for him. She had a husband and 2 teenaged children to take care of. In the time that her dad was demanding of her time and energy, he became more belligerent and abusive by the day. Her husband had been the manager of a working dude ranch in Saddlestring for 27 years and was suddenly fired without cause. She was in a state of undiagnosed Crohn’s Disease and would not go to the doctor. She was so busy taking care of her family and her father that she didn’t take care of herself. She had asked me to have the papers drawn up to gain power of attorney when she realized that he needed to be in a care facility. Her sudden death from a ruptured colon January a year ago was a shock and horror to all. She was the daughter of my heart.
After her funeral, that document became a joke as her husband was #2 and my other 2 daughters were next for the POA. He was so out of control that we had to sedate him before the funeral so that he would not make a scene. Frannie’s sisters were not emotional available to take control….so it fell to me. We had a family intervention at his neurologist’s office. The doctor wrote a letter saying that he was a danger to himself and others. Youngest daughter had already returned to work in CO as if she didn’t work, she wasn’t paid. Eldest daughter came down with the flu after the funeral and all of the stress of losing her sister and her dad in one fell swoop. I became his baby-sitter as the in-laws and widower blamed him for F’s death. After another week, V, the eldest and a friend took him to Denver to try to find a place in a Veterans Hospital, no one would take him as he was not in the “system”. Finally they found a Veterans Hospital in Rifle, CO who totally understood the desperate situation and admitted him. He is now in the system. Youngest daughter went to court to become his legal guardian and custodian God Bless her soul. She is single and has no children and is frankly the strongest one to deal with dear old dad. He has deteriorated rapidly in the last 18 months and is on medication for behavioral disorders, dementia, bi-polar disorder and anxiety. Just 2 days ago E. decided it wasn’t safe to take him out for a meal and so brought one in for him. He is unstable on his feet and has fallen once in the facility and has a parkinson’s like spastic right arm and cannot shave without an electric shaver as he was cutting himself with his traditional one. I have just finished reading “We Are Not Ourselves” by Matthew Thomas on this subject. I read the sample for “Still Alice” what a tragic disease that now seems epidemic in our society. Research dollars are not there and our current Congress failed to pass the funding for research this year to the NIH. I have lost my daughter and he is still alive. I will be seeing my son-in-law and two remaining daughters and grandchildren for a brief but necessary reunion in Boulder, CO. We are all driving to meet. My husband and I are in California. What a tragedy for so many people.
Pets can be such a comfort to those suffering from Alzheimer’s. Several years ago, my neighbor was caring for her mother who was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. One day I put my little dachshund on her mom’s lap, her mom began to pet her and the most blissful smile appeared on her face, a face that had been so blank until she began stroking my dog. My neighbor told me how much her mother had always loved dogs, and how wonderful it was to see my little dog give her mom such joy. Her mom and my little dog, LuLu, are both gone now, but I will always remember the smile that came across this woman’s face.
Pets can be such a comfort to those suffering from Alzheimer’s. Several years ago, my neighbor was caring for her mother who was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. One day I put my little dachshund on her mom’s lap, her mom began to pet her and the most blissful smile appeared on her face, a face that had been so blank until she began stroking my dog. My neighbor told me how much her mother had always loved dogs, and how wonderful it was to see my little dog give her mom such joy. Her mom and my little dog, LuLu, are both gone now, but I will always remember the smile that came across this woman’s face.
It is so ironic that this is your post today, because I have a story of forgetfulness. I commented on a post recently about my disappearing sunflower. It was found. I was the one who had moved it, not a bird, or a squirrel. (that was a bit far-fetched)My son went to use his smoker/grill, and found the bug laden sunflower in there. I had forgotten I put it there out of the rain. My memory used to be too good. In the last few years I have noticed a drastic decline. It scares me. I have to write down everything. So, this was a perfect post today. Any form of forgetfulness is not good; unless of course you are trying to forget something.
It is so ironic that this is your post today, because I have a story of forgetfulness. I commented on a post recently about my disappearing sunflower. It was found. I was the one who had moved it, not a bird, or a squirrel. (that was a bit far-fetched)My son went to use his smoker/grill, and found the bug laden sunflower in there. I had forgotten I put it there out of the rain. My memory used to be too good. In the last few years I have noticed a drastic decline. It scares me. I have to write down everything. So, this was a perfect post today. Any form of forgetfulness is not good; unless of course you are trying to forget something.
Hi Kristin,
Thank you for this post and an opportunity to comment as always!
A friend of mine was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s two years ago and it has been sad and frightening at times to see her decline. She still remembers me, a blessing for sure. She is such a lovely and kind woman! She continues to come to our quilt group and the group is committed to have her with us as long as possible. She still enjoys hand sewing and both she and her husband are appreciative of including her. It is also a respite for her husband as being a care giver full time can be overwhelming at times. As her husband said it has been a game changer!
My tip to others is to remember to include individuals and couples in activities as this disease can be terribly isolating not only for the individual but the care giver as well. I do that by including them in dinner parties and asking if they would like to join us for a play or concert or out to dinner. At some point, that will not be feasible, but for now it works!
Finally, I read Still Alice a couple of years ago and found it to be informative and revealing about Alzheimer’s. Today, in retrospect, I find it to be helpful in understanding what my friend is going through.
Hi Kristin,
Thank you for this post and an opportunity to comment as always!
A friend of mine was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s two years ago and it has been sad and frightening at times to see her decline. She still remembers me, a blessing for sure. She is such a lovely and kind woman! She continues to come to our quilt group and the group is committed to have her with us as long as possible. She still enjoys hand sewing and both she and her husband are appreciative of including her. It is also a respite for her husband as being a care giver full time can be overwhelming at times. As her husband said it has been a game changer!
My tip to others is to remember to include individuals and couples in activities as this disease can be terribly isolating not only for the individual but the care giver as well. I do that by including them in dinner parties and asking if they would like to join us for a play or concert or out to dinner. At some point, that will not be feasible, but for now it works!
Finally, I read Still Alice a couple of years ago and found it to be informative and revealing about Alzheimer’s. Today, in retrospect, I find it to be helpful in understanding what my friend is going through.
Clearly, you have touched upon a subject that effects many people, many lives, and is depressing to the max. I applaud you for it and hope that you, by doing this will raise
the bar for the awareness of Alzhemers disease and dementia as a huge issue for our society worldwide and something that needs to be researched and studied so that future
generations will be able to avoid and prevent the continuation of this plague.
Clearly, you have touched upon a subject that effects many people, many lives, and is depressing to the max. I applaud you for it and hope that you, by doing this will raise
the bar for the awareness of Alzhemers disease and dementia as a huge issue for our society worldwide and something that needs to be researched and studied so that future
generations will be able to avoid and prevent the continuation of this plague.
Hi Kristen,
My book club read “Still Alice.” It’s a good read and made for some very interesting discussion. I have been concerned about developing dementia as my mother had it due to untreated type 2 diabetes. I have learned that keeping healthy, fit and learning new things, such as learning French, is a good way to try to stave off developing dementia. Let’s all learn a word a day in French!
Hi Kristen,
My book club read “Still Alice.” It’s a good read and made for some very interesting discussion. I have been concerned about developing dementia as my mother had it due to untreated type 2 diabetes. I have learned that keeping healthy, fit and learning new things, such as learning French, is a good way to try to stave off developing dementia. Let’s all learn a word a day in French!