Photo (by Pascale Gauthier) of our wedding anniversary dinner, here at home.
AVOIR LES CROCS
: to have the munchies (a sudden desire to snack)
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE… by Kristin Espinasse
The following story was written in 2014…
On Friday night 45 of our closest friends came over for a sit-down dinner to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Jean-Marc and I weeded our front yard, dusted our window shutters (Spiderwebs? Really?), and rented tables and chairs from the Mairie.
Lesson no. 1: Etaler. (Spread out.)
As the guests arrived, I quickly saw what a bad idea it was for the boys to have set the hors-d'oeuvres table on an incline. Not wanting to question our son's 19-year old friends (who we hired to help)–and seeing their pride in their new jobs–I turned a blind eye and hoped for the best. And the guests did their best to cling together at the edge of the drinks table, with only one or two tumbling off the little hill every now and then.
Lesson no. 2: Impose-Toi! (Butt in!)
Because I'm jittery, Jean-Marc insisted he would take care of the party details. So when the hors d'oeuvres arrived–unassembled, in three giant ice buckets (were those tortillas for the spreads? If so which?)–my husband told me to leave it for the boys to work out. "If they have a question, they'll call Vava and Laurent (our friends/caterers)!"
Only, when Vava arrived for the party, she quietly pointed out the ratatouille (in dainty plates across the hors d'oeuvres table) was not for cocktail hour–it was for the main course.
Lesson no. 3: Fourchettes, pas cuillières! (Forks not spoons!)
Finally seated, Jean-Marc announced to our 45 guests it was time to pick up our plates and head to the banquet–where the lamb and accompaniments awaited us. Sort of….
We watched as the men at the fire pit handed over plates of roasted meat, but where was the ratatouille? Quick, grab it from the tables in the backyard and dart back to the buffet–scrape, scrape, scrape. Now where were the serving spoons?
Whoops, spoke to soon–I meant forks! Run back to the kitchen and get fourchettes so the guests will quit trying to fling the meat from platter to plate with the help of two slippery spoons!
Lesson 4: On Mange à Table! (We eat at the table!)
All calmed down now, with full tummies, I noticed how some of the guests were getting tipsy…. All those special cuvées Jean-Marc brought out–including a 1994 Chateauneuf-du-Pape (grapes we picked before our marriage) had not gone to waste!
Jean-Marc now stood swaying, eating his ice cream behind me as I sat sober as a splash of water, talking to old friends. But every now and then my arm flew up to swat at my husband–who was dripping bright red cassis sorbet as he leaned over me and my new dress!
Lesson 5: Commander un bon DJ. (Hire a good DJ.)
When an uncomfortably-long lull had us lingering at the dinner tables, I wondered Where has Jean-Marc disappeared to?
"He's fiddling with the sound system," someone explained. Finally, guests began trickling down to the boules court, where a dusty dance floor awaited.
And awaited… and awaited. The music just wasn't doing it, and it was either the fault of Jean-Marc's smartphone (some music system!) or the fact that all those "request songs" we'd asked our guests for made for lousy dance material.
My poor husband now stood swaying on the dance floor until two lit girls and a faithful old friend joined in. I could no longer stand staring from the sidelines with the audience; it was time to buck up, disengage from the gawkers, and join the offbeat dancers.
Jean-Marc reached out for me, grabbing my hand and twirling me around a few times, when I stopped to whisper in his ear: "No one wants to dance!" I murmured, so as not to utter my true thoughts: they think our party sucks!
"Well," he said–the sparkle in his eyes melting me inside–"then they'll all go home earlier." With that he laughed, a little tipsy, and twirled me around and around. I was charmed by Jean-Marc's words. He was clearly remembering my aversion to all-night parties. And he was telling me, in his own way, that he didn't have to party all night either… but could be happy twirling his sweetheart around and around… till the party poopers went home.
Though my husband's words encouraged me (the only real party pooper in the group), it was still painfully embarrassing to be dancing with the awkward quartet, before a group of gawkers (who were only feeling awkward themselves, given the beat just wasn't calling them forth)… So when the current song ended I wiggled my way, as discreetly as possible, off the dance floor and into the kitchen to check on things.
The counter tops were inch-deep with liquid from all the dirty wineglasses. I now had a perfect excuse to be absent from the doomed dance floor. If anyone questioned my disappearance, I could cite "the flood on the kitchen counter." But once the water was sopped up, back out to the dance floor I went.
You wouldn't believe the change of scene: disco fever had struck! The men and woman gyrated, twirled, and bucked back and forth across the dusty boules court. Dancing queens every one of them! Our friend Cyril (a former DJ) had thoughtfully taken over. Yahoo!
Lesson no. 5: La Nuit Blanche ne Tue Pas! (A sleepless night won't kill you!)
By 3:30 in the morning the dance floor was still going strong, but I was not. Worried about my neighbors, worried about my dogs (stranded on the balcony above us) and itching to call it a night, I watched nervously as the party carried on and on… right on into our kitchen.
Apparently our guests had an attack of the munchies! Plates of leftovers were pulled from the fridge. And the freezer was raided for leftover ice cream.
But like a biblical Martha, I busied myself in the kitchen, trying to scrape melted cheese from the wicker platter (19-year-old boys didn't put a plastic sheet down first). Frustrated and wondering when the party would end–by 5 am or 6 or 7 — noon?) I scraped at the braided bunch of cheesy wicker, finally shoving it aside.
Returning to the small crowd, I studied all the bright faces (5 or 6 friends remained). I noticed people enjoying life. Life was not some number. It wasn't "3 am" or two hours later, or the next day. Life was now, here for the taking. Why not grab it?
* * *
The next day my mother-in-law lost consciousness. I am quickly finishing this story so I can drive to Marseilles to sit by her bedside. What's important in life? I don't know, but I am learning.
* * *
I am beginning to think my husband is a much nicer person than I. For when–at that melt-down moment at 4:30 am–I said to him "They're still here!" He looked at me and, with a smile, he said, "they are having a good time at the party."
* * *
I am learning, from friends and my husband, that what's important in life is that we help others to have a good time at the party.
Thanks for your thoughts for my dear belle-mère. (Three years after writing this post, and my mother-in-law is doing very well.)
Jean-Marc, thank you for twenty years together. I have learned so much by your side.
EMBRYOLISSE cream – used by French grandmothers and makeup artists
FRENCH GOURMET ITEMS – including herbs, mustard, coffee, tisane, chocolate, cakes
FRENCH SHOPPING BAG – made and knit in France!
PARIS METRO CUFF – Unique bracelet with a map of the Paris metro!
WORDS IN A FRENCH LIFE: Lessons in Love and Language from the South of France
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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Thanks so much for the wonderful and honest post. I love the various moods — it is life! Congrats on 20 years —- as a former marriage counselor —-that is an accomplishment!
The best to your mom-in-law!
Loved the photos — stay well!
Thanks so much for the wonderful and honest post. I love the various moods — it is life! Congrats on 20 years —- as a former marriage counselor —-that is an accomplishment!
The best to your mom-in-law!
Loved the photos — stay well!
Our dear Kristi,
This is an absolutely beautiful post!Truly one of your best,and one that completely wraps itself around our hearts.
Congratulations on 20 wonderful years together!
God has graced you both and we rejoice with and for you.
Your dear belle mere is uppermost in our prayers.
Love
Natalia. xo
Our dear Kristi,
This is an absolutely beautiful post!Truly one of your best,and one that completely wraps itself around our hearts.
Congratulations on 20 wonderful years together!
God has graced you both and we rejoice with and for you.
Your dear belle mere is uppermost in our prayers.
Love
Natalia. xo
Happy anniversary to you and Jean-Marc Kristin!
I’m keeping your belle-mere in my thoughts and prayers. x
Happy anniversary to you and Jean-Marc Kristin!
I’m keeping your belle-mere in my thoughts and prayers. x
Prayers are with your belle-mere and with all of you.
Happy 20th to you and Jean-Marc!
I have been following your FWAD since the very beginning and I think this is one of my favorite posts. Thank you for all that you share with us.
Warm hugs!
Prayers are with your belle-mere and with all of you.
Happy 20th to you and Jean-Marc!
I have been following your FWAD since the very beginning and I think this is one of my favorite posts. Thank you for all that you share with us.
Warm hugs!
I have to laugh because the last thing I picture the French getting is the munchies!
Love this post, it’s one of my favorites of yours. It sounds like it was soooo much fun.
I have to laugh because the last thing I picture the French getting is the munchies!
Love this post, it’s one of my favorites of yours. It sounds like it was soooo much fun.
What a delightful post and celebration of your Anniversary! Congratulations to you both. Sending hearts full of comfort to your mother-in-law.
What a delightful post and celebration of your Anniversary! Congratulations to you both. Sending hearts full of comfort to your mother-in-law.
It looks beautiful! And sounds like a great success. Congratulations on your twenty years of a happy marriage!
It looks beautiful! And sounds like a great success. Congratulations on your twenty years of a happy marriage!
Happy anniversary, to you both! What a nice milestone to have reached and to have friends share the celebration . As always, thank you for sharing it with your readers as well.
Sending you and your family good thoughts and prayers for your mother in law.
Happy anniversary, to you both! What a nice milestone to have reached and to have friends share the celebration . As always, thank you for sharing it with your readers as well.
Sending you and your family good thoughts and prayers for your mother in law.
happy anniversary..how nice to have a party for your friends on your special day!..Not a fan of all night affairs either..but as your husband noted it was certainly an indication that they were having a good time and just did not want to call it quits.So it evidently was a great success.
happy anniversary..how nice to have a party for your friends on your special day!..Not a fan of all night affairs either..but as your husband noted it was certainly an indication that they were having a good time and just did not want to call it quits.So it evidently was a great success.
Happy Anniversary.
I hope your mother-in-law is much better. Prayers sent your way.
xoxo
Happy Anniversary.
I hope your mother-in-law is much better. Prayers sent your way.
xoxo
Your home, set for the celebration, looks magical. I would have loved to have been seated at one of those tables and been your alibi; laughing together into the morning light. I can so relate Kristi, for I am the same in these situations and my love has the cool, nonchalance of Jean-Marc — which does not always have a calming affect on me.
You so beautifully see past your own view to the grander picture. I love that about you. Many blessings for your love to continue to grow and congratulations on your anniversary.
Prayers and loving thoughts go out to your dear mother-in-law.
Your home, set for the celebration, looks magical. I would have loved to have been seated at one of those tables and been your alibi; laughing together into the morning light. I can so relate Kristi, for I am the same in these situations and my love has the cool, nonchalance of Jean-Marc — which does not always have a calming affect on me.
You so beautifully see past your own view to the grander picture. I love that about you. Many blessings for your love to continue to grow and congratulations on your anniversary.
Prayers and loving thoughts go out to your dear mother-in-law.
Happy anniversary! It sounds like a truly bonne fête! So often such celebrations are followed by a darker moment ~ my thoughts are with you and your family.
Happy anniversary! It sounds like a truly bonne fête! So often such celebrations are followed by a darker moment ~ my thoughts are with you and your family.
Ahh, how I love this, Kristin! I remember being in a similar situation a few years ago when I moved to Amsterdam. I was fearful that my Dutchie’s friends would stay until all hours of the night. Thank you for this reframe + new perspective. xoxo and all the best to ta belle-mère.
Ahh, how I love this, Kristin! I remember being in a similar situation a few years ago when I moved to Amsterdam. I was fearful that my Dutchie’s friends would stay until all hours of the night. Thank you for this reframe + new perspective. xoxo and all the best to ta belle-mère.
Congratulations!!! What a beautiful post – words, story and pictures. Prayers and best wishes for your mother-in-law and all the family.
Congratulations!!! What a beautiful post – words, story and pictures. Prayers and best wishes for your mother-in-law and all the family.
It’s hard to believe you and JM are celebrating 20 years. How wonderful. I certainly congratulate you for staying awake that long at the party. I know I would have caved. / Prayers for your precious belle mere that she will get better every day. Thank you for all the years you’ve shared your life with us.
It’s hard to believe you and JM are celebrating 20 years. How wonderful. I certainly congratulate you for staying awake that long at the party. I know I would have caved. / Prayers for your precious belle mere that she will get better every day. Thank you for all the years you’ve shared your life with us.
Happy Anniversary!! You are fortunate to have so many close friends. Thanks for your vivid descriptions and the wonderful photos. I do hope that Jean-Marc’s mother has improved by now; she is very dear to all of your family. My best wishes especially for her. Cynthia
Happy Anniversary!! You are fortunate to have so many close friends. Thanks for your vivid descriptions and the wonderful photos. I do hope that Jean-Marc’s mother has improved by now; she is very dear to all of your family. My best wishes especially for her. Cynthia
You are such a beacon of candour, courage and great-heartedness, Kristin! It’s a joy to see your responsiveness to the demands of hostessing for one who is NOT a party-person. Me too: I recall how much of my gumption grew from my sociable husband’s support and presence, and how lovely those memories are now when, without him, I do not ‘entertain’ like that anymore. Your home has become such a welcoming place that it’s no wonder your guests find joy there.
Prayers for your beloved Belle-Mere’s wellbeing, and for your own energies in your service to her health of body and spirit.
You are such a beacon of candour, courage and great-heartedness, Kristin! It’s a joy to see your responsiveness to the demands of hostessing for one who is NOT a party-person. Me too: I recall how much of my gumption grew from my sociable husband’s support and presence, and how lovely those memories are now when, without him, I do not ‘entertain’ like that anymore. Your home has become such a welcoming place that it’s no wonder your guests find joy there.
Prayers for your beloved Belle-Mere’s wellbeing, and for your own energies in your service to her health of body and spirit.
Dear Kristin and Jean Marc,
Congratulations! Twenty years and living life to the fullest! Best wishes to you both and healing wishes for your Belle-Mere!
Dear Kristin and Jean Marc,
Congratulations! Twenty years and living life to the fullest! Best wishes to you both and healing wishes for your Belle-Mere!
Kristin,
Congratulations! One of my most favorite post…darling photo of wedding..house looks fabulous!!
Kristin,
Congratulations! One of my most favorite post…darling photo of wedding..house looks fabulous!!
Hi Kristen
I laughed with sympathetic embarrassment at the story of the party as it began, and then with real enjoyment of the part coming to life. and as you saw others really enjoying your company and each others’, it brings home the understanding that love and connection are the true purpose of our lives. All at the part, including the 19year old waiters, will have fond memories to cherie. And what a beautiful photo of you and Jean Marc at your wedding.
Love and prayers for your Belle-Mere
Charlotte
Hi Kristen
I laughed with sympathetic embarrassment at the story of the party as it began, and then with real enjoyment of the part coming to life. and as you saw others really enjoying your company and each others’, it brings home the understanding that love and connection are the true purpose of our lives. All at the part, including the 19year old waiters, will have fond memories to cherie. And what a beautiful photo of you and Jean Marc at your wedding.
Love and prayers for your Belle-Mere
Charlotte
Félicitations sur vos 20 ans de mariage….merci beaucoup pour touts les posts !
M’y thoughts and prayers for your mother-In-law.
Félicitations sur vos 20 ans de mariage….merci beaucoup pour touts les posts !
M’y thoughts and prayers for your mother-In-law.
Such ups and downs
Life is a merry go round
May your belle mere recover to 100 per cent.
Love your pictures…what a gorgeous and inviting table setting!
Such ups and downs
Life is a merry go round
May your belle mere recover to 100 per cent.
Love your pictures…what a gorgeous and inviting table setting!
Dear Kristi, Your feelings during the party mirrored what I would have felt, and those of your husband mirrored what my husband’s would have been. I love, and will draw inspiration from, where you arrived at the end. And bravo not only for getting there but for being willing to jump in and have the party in the first place. Happy Anniversary!
Dear Kristi, Your feelings during the party mirrored what I would have felt, and those of your husband mirrored what my husband’s would have been. I love, and will draw inspiration from, where you arrived at the end. And bravo not only for getting there but for being willing to jump in and have the party in the first place. Happy Anniversary!
Thoughts of support, and prayers of comfort for you all, especially for your belle-mere.
And thank you for sharing your party with us, and your thoughts. It is all a step at a time, so be kind to yourself. xx
Thoughts of support, and prayers of comfort for you all, especially for your belle-mere.
And thank you for sharing your party with us, and your thoughts. It is all a step at a time, so be kind to yourself. xx
P.S. to my above comment: Best wishes and heartfelt prayers for your belle-mère’s rapid and complete recovery.
P.S. to my above comment: Best wishes and heartfelt prayers for your belle-mère’s rapid and complete recovery.