Russian comfrey and letter of sympathy (with misspellings), reads Sir/Mam, I offer all my regrets for the loss of your chickens. I am sincerely and deeply sorry for the pain this has caused you…" (Read on, in today's story column.)
se rabaisser (seuh rah bay say)
: to humble oneself, to show humility or respect
Audio File: listen to Jean-Marc: Download MP3 or Wav
Je me suis rabaissée devant le potager, en visant mon plant préféré. Et puis, je l'ai arraché!
I lowered myself before the kitchen garden, and targeted my favorite plant. Next, I yanked it out!
At only $8 Exercises in French Phonetics is a great tool for improving your French.
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE… by Kristin Espinasse
I left Annie's whimsical garden with a bag of stinging nettles and a mission: to plant the medicinal orties and, secondly, to heal an open wound–celle de ma voisine.
The orties, no matter how menacing their bite, would be easy to manage; I needed only to wear gloves to transplant them. As for the pain we'd caused our other neighbor–I was not sure how to proceed… so I followed–hanging on as my body whisked forth my soul, over to the field just below.
There in my own jardin, I landed. Walking past the flowering consoude, with its ornamental purple bells, I knew instantly it was the one. I had just given a seedling to my friend Cari, keeping the mother comfrey–all decked out now in blossoms–for myself. Even then I knew I should have given the best away, and patiently waited for the seedling to grow into another purple-belled marvel. It wasn't too late this time around….
Se rabaisser (the French translation for "to humble yourself") literally means to bow down, and this I did before the royal purple bells of Symphytum x uplandicum–the noblest subject in my potager.
I knelt not as a worshiper before an idol; I met the ground as a broken heart falling in pieces! If the act was dramatic, it encompassed more than the sorrow for my neighbor's lost chickens, it carried with it the weight of other trespasses–both personal and universal. Isn't that what it feels like to be deeply sorry, or navrée? As though the weight of a world's sins rests on your guilty shoulders.
Kneeling there, the rocks below me drove their jagged edges into my skin. But I felt only the pain of shame as I searched for words.
"Please let there be understanding–and forgiveness. Please heal this pain."
There was nothing I could do to bring back the stolen chickens. And only God knows how hard I try to keep our dogs inside our property lines. The best I could do was to reach out to my neighbor: apologize, ask what I could give or do, and let her see the human face behind the unknown perpetrator.
As I stood there, now, on a foreign doorstep–my heart thumping in my throat, my arms holding out a potted plant its leaves going limp before my very eyes–my new neighbor studied me, her lips a straight line…..
(A suivre/To be continued here in Part 2 of story)
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Note: highlighted links within the story refer back to previous journal entries:
Annie's garden (including part one of today's story)
Kristi's garden (picture)
FRENCH VOCABULARY
celle de ma voisine = that (wound, blessure) of my neighbor
le jardin = garden
la consoude = comfrey
le potager = vegetable patch
navré(e) = deep sorrow, sadness for one's mistake
Plants are the best gift, no matter the occasion! An olive or peach tree, aloe or comfrey! They nourish, improve the air we breathe, and are often healing. A book about plants is the next best gift of all. I am offering one copy of Jane Goodall's latest: Seeds of Hope: Wisdom and Wonder from the World of Plants.
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P.S. I can't promise, so don't hold me to it–but if I manage to get a signed book on Monday night–when I go to see Jane Goodall speak in Aix!!–then I will include the signed copy in the giveaway. Otherwise the book will be shipped to you directly via Amazon.com. Good luck!
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The problem with saying you’re sorry, is that it is admitting you’ve done done something wrong, and in the USA, that means admitting liability, and we can’t afford that… Unfortunately, few people are willing to say “I’m sorry” for anything any more, which means no one is willing to accept personal responsibility for actions, though we are certainly quick to accept the credit when things turn out well. Thanks for letting us all know that you are willing to ring the doorbell of the person who has been hurt.
Joan L.
The problem with saying you’re sorry, is that it is admitting you’ve done done something wrong, and in the USA, that means admitting liability, and we can’t afford that… Unfortunately, few people are willing to say “I’m sorry” for anything any more, which means no one is willing to accept personal responsibility for actions, though we are certainly quick to accept the credit when things turn out well. Thanks for letting us all know that you are willing to ring the doorbell of the person who has been hurt.
Joan L.
I was lucky to see Jane in Arizona about 3 years ago. She was speaking about her Roots to Shoots program. Needless to say, she is one of the worlds wonders, a truly amazing person. I so enjoy your blog Kristin, so pure and real and from the heart. Plus, France has a special place in my life. Thank you for your work.
I was lucky to see Jane in Arizona about 3 years ago. She was speaking about her Roots to Shoots program. Needless to say, she is one of the worlds wonders, a truly amazing person. I so enjoy your blog Kristin, so pure and real and from the heart. Plus, France has a special place in my life. Thank you for your work.
I can tell you are truly sorry, and I agree with several other readers, the true apology is a change in the behavior that caused the hurt. I’ve always had dogs and learned long ago that not everyone loves them as I do, so I don’t let them in anyone else’s “space.” I hope you can “mend this fence” with your neighbor. Ill feelings with neighbors are not a good way to live.
I can tell you are truly sorry, and I agree with several other readers, the true apology is a change in the behavior that caused the hurt. I’ve always had dogs and learned long ago that not everyone loves them as I do, so I don’t let them in anyone else’s “space.” I hope you can “mend this fence” with your neighbor. Ill feelings with neighbors are not a good way to live.
Chere Kristin, I do hope the Russian comfrey will comfort your neighbor, that she will treasure it too, & forgive you. I agree with the commenter who suggested an electric fence. It would be a good solution to save your beloved dogs from being harmed themselves now they’ve become delinquents on the loose. Or a large dog pen area they come out of only leashed. Something must be done to keep them from more raiding & plundering in the neighborhood. They are your responsibility & care. I have had the honor of seeing & hearing Jane Goodall twice: in Florida & here in Asheville, NC. She is one of the greatest Citizens of the World. I know you will always cherish this event in Aix. Try to get 2 books–one to keep for yourself.
Chere Kristin, I do hope the Russian comfrey will comfort your neighbor, that she will treasure it too, & forgive you. I agree with the commenter who suggested an electric fence. It would be a good solution to save your beloved dogs from being harmed themselves now they’ve become delinquents on the loose. Or a large dog pen area they come out of only leashed. Something must be done to keep them from more raiding & plundering in the neighborhood. They are your responsibility & care. I have had the honor of seeing & hearing Jane Goodall twice: in Florida & here in Asheville, NC. She is one of the greatest Citizens of the World. I know you will always cherish this event in Aix. Try to get 2 books–one to keep for yourself.
Those naughty dogs might have led you to a new friend . . .
Those naughty dogs might have led you to a new friend . . .
I love reading your posts/blogs AND books. You are a true inspiration! I share newly acquired vocabulary words with my students of French; merci.
I admire your courage to deal so openly with all of life’s issues.
Martha New Haven, CT
I love reading your posts/blogs AND books. You are a true inspiration! I share newly acquired vocabulary words with my students of French; merci.
I admire your courage to deal so openly with all of life’s issues.
Martha New Haven, CT
Bonjour Kristin,
My mother had been a widow for 25 years, and lived alone in a large condominium complex. Outside her door grew three mature bushes. One bush died and was plucked out by the gardeners, but not replaced. The next spring, an apparent weed poked its’ head up out of the barren ground. My mother refused to pull it up, choosing instead to watch it mature, even guarding it with a miniature picket fence. As time passed, we realized that this bit of green was a Jack-In-The Pulpit wildflower. That, not very common plant, just happened to be my father’s favorite. What can I say? Mystery, miracle, or SEEDS OF HOPE? Nurture and love the gift of flowers you hold precious.
A bientôt!
Bonjour Kristin,
My mother had been a widow for 25 years, and lived alone in a large condominium complex. Outside her door grew three mature bushes. One bush died and was plucked out by the gardeners, but not replaced. The next spring, an apparent weed poked its’ head up out of the barren ground. My mother refused to pull it up, choosing instead to watch it mature, even guarding it with a miniature picket fence. As time passed, we realized that this bit of green was a Jack-In-The Pulpit wildflower. That, not very common plant, just happened to be my father’s favorite. What can I say? Mystery, miracle, or SEEDS OF HOPE? Nurture and love the gift of flowers you hold precious.
A bientôt!
Dear Kristn.,
Yes chickens and dogs are not the best of friends. We had chickens for years and our Golden Retriever ran with them for years and never ever bothered them. Then a couple of years ago we introduced 5 new ones to our flock but within a few weeks they began to disappear. Then one morning I witnessed our dog chasing one of them. She would not obey me and continued the chase, all the while I am screaming commands but to no avail. I finally got hold of her, put her in the house and when I calmed down I went out to garden and while digging about in my flower bed of Lavender and daisies I came upon a Chicken head just resting above the soil. My precious pooch had been killing my chickens and planting them in my garden. Now when we lived in Colorado the ranchers there took care of chicken killing dogs by tying the dead chicken around the dogs neck and after some time when the ranchers couldn’t stand the smell any longer they removed it and from what I have been told the dogs never bothered the chickens again. I couldn’t bring myself to do this so I just got rid of the chickens
Dear Kristn.,
Yes chickens and dogs are not the best of friends. We had chickens for years and our Golden Retriever ran with them for years and never ever bothered them. Then a couple of years ago we introduced 5 new ones to our flock but within a few weeks they began to disappear. Then one morning I witnessed our dog chasing one of them. She would not obey me and continued the chase, all the while I am screaming commands but to no avail. I finally got hold of her, put her in the house and when I calmed down I went out to garden and while digging about in my flower bed of Lavender and daisies I came upon a Chicken head just resting above the soil. My precious pooch had been killing my chickens and planting them in my garden. Now when we lived in Colorado the ranchers there took care of chicken killing dogs by tying the dead chicken around the dogs neck and after some time when the ranchers couldn’t stand the smell any longer they removed it and from what I have been told the dogs never bothered the chickens again. I couldn’t bring myself to do this so I just got rid of the chickens
Oh yes, I must say you are the kind of precious neighbor I want and I agree, a book is the best gift of all!!!
Oh yes, I must say you are the kind of precious neighbor I want and I agree, a book is the best gift of all!!!
Kristin, you say se rebaisser (with an e after the r)
but then the audio file shows
Je me suis rabaissée devant le potager, en visant mon plant préféré. Et puis, je l’ai arraché!
Should the audio file be je me suis rebaissée (with an e after the r, not an a)???
With curiosity …
Kristin, you say se rebaisser (with an e after the r)
but then the audio file shows
Je me suis rabaissée devant le potager, en visant mon plant préféré. Et puis, je l’ai arraché!
Should the audio file be je me suis rebaissée (with an e after the r, not an a)???
With curiosity …
anxiously waiting to see what the neighbor said. Jean Lillibridge
anxiously waiting to see what the neighbor said. Jean Lillibridge
I am in the process of building a chicken coop with an attached run. I have been interested in raising chickens for some time now and I’ve finally begun the process. I live down a private dirt road, without any neighboring dogs, but there are plenty of other predators; coyotes, raccoons, weasels and lots of feral cats. I have made sure to build the run strong and with plenty of room so that the chickens can be safely and comfortably confined. I can totally understand the anger and sorrow that your neighbors must feel, but it is also their responsibility to keep there pets safe. Enjoy Jane Goodall! She is someone that I truly admire.
I am in the process of building a chicken coop with an attached run. I have been interested in raising chickens for some time now and I’ve finally begun the process. I live down a private dirt road, without any neighboring dogs, but there are plenty of other predators; coyotes, raccoons, weasels and lots of feral cats. I have made sure to build the run strong and with plenty of room so that the chickens can be safely and comfortably confined. I can totally understand the anger and sorrow that your neighbors must feel, but it is also their responsibility to keep there pets safe. Enjoy Jane Goodall! She is someone that I truly admire.
Hi Kristin – thanks for sharing. This must not have been easy for you and I look forward to reading what your neighbor’s reaction to your apology was! I know you will enjoy meeting Jane Goodall. She is truly inspirational.
Hi Kristin – thanks for sharing. This must not have been easy for you and I look forward to reading what your neighbor’s reaction to your apology was! I know you will enjoy meeting Jane Goodall. She is truly inspirational.
I hope the apology was accepted. Are you going to compensate the neighbor for the loss of her livestock? If the chickens are part of her livelihood their loss means loss of money, just as someone’s out-of-control pet horse trampling down your vines would mean loss of money to you.
How about creating a fenced dog run on your property so that the dogs have some place to play unsupervised without the danger that they will trespass or destroy the property of others? Training, as many others have suggested, is obviously a basic dog-owner responsibility but it only goes so far. In the face of chickens or other animals to chase, instinct takes over.
I hope the apology was accepted. Are you going to compensate the neighbor for the loss of her livestock? If the chickens are part of her livelihood their loss means loss of money, just as someone’s out-of-control pet horse trampling down your vines would mean loss of money to you.
How about creating a fenced dog run on your property so that the dogs have some place to play unsupervised without the danger that they will trespass or destroy the property of others? Training, as many others have suggested, is obviously a basic dog-owner responsibility but it only goes so far. In the face of chickens or other animals to chase, instinct takes over.
“It is only when we can believe we are creating the soul that life has any meaning, but when we can believe it — and I do and always have — then there is nothing we do that is without meaning and nothing we suffer that does not hold the seed of creation in it.”
From May Sarton’s Journal of Solitude.
“It is only when we can believe we are creating the soul that life has any meaning, but when we can believe it — and I do and always have — then there is nothing we do that is without meaning and nothing we suffer that does not hold the seed of creation in it.”
From May Sarton’s Journal of Solitude.
How about buying them three new beautiful chickens??? Whatever they wish. Rhode Island Reds, Aruncanas…whatever will replace their chickens.
Were the chickens pets or for the pot?
Important.
I must say, too, that a dog trainer sounds like a good start, according to one of your reader’s comments.
How about buying them three new beautiful chickens??? Whatever they wish. Rhode Island Reds, Aruncanas…whatever will replace their chickens.
Were the chickens pets or for the pot?
Important.
I must say, too, that a dog trainer sounds like a good start, according to one of your reader’s comments.
Such grace, humility and courage you have, Kristin. I hope your neighbor responds in kind~
Such grace, humility and courage you have, Kristin. I hope your neighbor responds in kind~
Kristin,
I now have several of your books and have just recently begun following your blog. My hope is to retire in Aix en Provence in the next few years and your books and stories give me great inspiration! Hang in there!
Kristin,
I now have several of your books and have just recently begun following your blog. My hope is to retire in Aix en Provence in the next few years and your books and stories give me great inspiration! Hang in there!
I don’t know how you do it, but you manage to write about your feelings in such a completely honest way that it never sounds smug or phony or self-congratulatory. We feel what you feel, both pain and relief. What greater compliment could a writer receive?
Enjoy Jane Goodall. I’m sure she will be gracious enough to sign two books – especially if you let her know you will be sharing one with your readers.
I don’t know how you do it, but you manage to write about your feelings in such a completely honest way that it never sounds smug or phony or self-congratulatory. We feel what you feel, both pain and relief. What greater compliment could a writer receive?
Enjoy Jane Goodall. I’m sure she will be gracious enough to sign two books – especially if you let her know you will be sharing one with your readers.
I feel sorry for both you and your neighbor. You both have animals you love and when you lose one to death it does cause heart break. I hope there is forgiveness and then a plan set in motion so this accident can never happen again.
I feel sorry for both you and your neighbor. You both have animals you love and when you lose one to death it does cause heart break. I hope there is forgiveness and then a plan set in motion so this accident can never happen again.
I do hope your neighbour was able to quickly forgive and forget. I could feel my skin prickling while reading about the pain and guilt you felt while kneeling in your garden. You are such a genuine, beautiful person! I can’t imagine someone staying upset with you after an honest, humble apology. Looking forward to the next installment of the story!
I’m excited for you about the chance to see and listen to Jane Goodall. How wonderful that you don’t even need to take the train to Paris for the occasion, that she’s going to be closer to your home! I hope you will write about the experience. J. Goodall’s new book is on my long list of books to read soon.
I do hope your neighbour was able to quickly forgive and forget. I could feel my skin prickling while reading about the pain and guilt you felt while kneeling in your garden. You are such a genuine, beautiful person! I can’t imagine someone staying upset with you after an honest, humble apology. Looking forward to the next installment of the story!
I’m excited for you about the chance to see and listen to Jane Goodall. How wonderful that you don’t even need to take the train to Paris for the occasion, that she’s going to be closer to your home! I hope you will write about the experience. J. Goodall’s new book is on my long list of books to read soon.
Kristen – The past few days, reading some of the discordant comments concerning the dogs/chickens issue, I have wished for Jules’ cool, clear voice with her unique way of zeroing in on what needs to be said. Unfortunately, the very nature of your blog leaves you open to the sometimes negative comments of others, but you handle them with grace and sensitivity. Always trust your own judgment. How timely, the opportunity to hear Jane Goodall, one of the world’s experts on animal behavior and welfare! A bit of synchronicity there…
Kathryn in San Antonio
Kristen – The past few days, reading some of the discordant comments concerning the dogs/chickens issue, I have wished for Jules’ cool, clear voice with her unique way of zeroing in on what needs to be said. Unfortunately, the very nature of your blog leaves you open to the sometimes negative comments of others, but you handle them with grace and sensitivity. Always trust your own judgment. How timely, the opportunity to hear Jane Goodall, one of the world’s experts on animal behavior and welfare! A bit of synchronicity there…
Kathryn in San Antonio
Stepping up and doing the right thing–huzzah, may your tribe increase!
Mon plant préféré c’est le “Scarlet Runner Bean.” Tres jolie, et comestible aussi!
Stepping up and doing the right thing–huzzah, may your tribe increase!
Mon plant préféré c’est le “Scarlet Runner Bean.” Tres jolie, et comestible aussi!
I have refrained from commenting for awhile….but no more. Dogs and any bird are not a match made in heaven. And you have “bird dogs”. Wonderful dogs, that you and your family love very much. I know you also love all living things and are sensitive to all. I am sure what you have done to confine them better is adequate, but sometimes they can be escapees. Mine just jumped the 6′ fence or one of them dug under one side of the house and I caught her under the house attempting to dig out the other side! And, maybe, just maybe your neighbor should fence in her chickens….a large yard. You live in the country….are there foxes or raccoons or bobcats? They certainly are predators. i have several friends who live in the country and ALL of them have a fenced area for the chickens. I am sure your neighbor will understand and the two of you can work something out. One of the definitions for the word “neighbor” is “any person in need of one’s help or kindness”(after biblical use).
Now, as Jane Goodall’s book…if you get a signed copy….you keep it. i cannot think of anyone it would mean more to.
I have refrained from commenting for awhile….but no more. Dogs and any bird are not a match made in heaven. And you have “bird dogs”. Wonderful dogs, that you and your family love very much. I know you also love all living things and are sensitive to all. I am sure what you have done to confine them better is adequate, but sometimes they can be escapees. Mine just jumped the 6′ fence or one of them dug under one side of the house and I caught her under the house attempting to dig out the other side! And, maybe, just maybe your neighbor should fence in her chickens….a large yard. You live in the country….are there foxes or raccoons or bobcats? They certainly are predators. i have several friends who live in the country and ALL of them have a fenced area for the chickens. I am sure your neighbor will understand and the two of you can work something out. One of the definitions for the word “neighbor” is “any person in need of one’s help or kindness”(after biblical use).
Now, as Jane Goodall’s book…if you get a signed copy….you keep it. i cannot think of anyone it would mean more to.
Kristin,
I too am waiting for Part 2. An apology and the plant are good,but you should also reimburse them for the chickens. It would make for better neighbors and the dogs,unfortunately either need an electric fence or a larger fenced in area. I know that is it difficult because you thought that you were in a more countrified area, but I guess not.
When I was growing up, our dog (a Husky) got loose and attacked a neighbor’s chickens, but I don’t know if my parents reimbursed them or what. I hope so.
You don’t want them harming your dogs, so be proactive and do something now to proctect them.
Bon chance!
Kathleen
Kristin,
I too am waiting for Part 2. An apology and the plant are good,but you should also reimburse them for the chickens. It would make for better neighbors and the dogs,unfortunately either need an electric fence or a larger fenced in area. I know that is it difficult because you thought that you were in a more countrified area, but I guess not.
When I was growing up, our dog (a Husky) got loose and attacked a neighbor’s chickens, but I don’t know if my parents reimbursed them or what. I hope so.
You don’t want them harming your dogs, so be proactive and do something now to proctect them.
Bon chance!
Kathleen