Next post goes out Thursday. "See you" then (or see you in Paris, on Tuesday afternoon!)
la bave (bav)
: drool, slobber, spit; slime
Sound File: listen to Jean-Marc: Download MP3 or Wav file
La bave du crapaud n'atteint pas la blanche colombe.
The spit of the toad doesn't reach the white dove.
(Sticks and stones may break my bones.)
A Day in a FRENCH Life… by Kristin Espinasse
I feel guilty switching hairdressers. The other lady was nice, and so calm you could hear a bobby pin drop in her salon tout vide. Last time I was there, I saw the second customer ever–the hairdresser's mom–who swept the floor as her hair dye dried the color of blood (no icky or spooky connotations intended: French women really seem to love this Ronald McDonald shade of red!).
No matter the somber atmosphere, I might have been a customer for life, turning a blind eye, each time, on the orange tracks my hairdresser left across my head. Parting my hair another way, I could hide the mistakes, but facts were facts: this woman had a bad aim and was color-blind!
My new hairdresser (recommended by a reader) is the bomb! In a red fishnet top and cheek-defining jeans, she keeps her salon interesting. As she paints my hair blonder she hums alongside the blaring radio and if she doesn't like the song she hums another one.
Yesterday's appointment was as amusing as any. Eva surprised me with a kiss on each cheek (on only my second visit) and an unusual amount of blinking….
"C'est la bave du grenouille. Frog spit," she explained. "A woman came by earlier and did a demonstration. It only took a couple of drops and voilà—nature's answer to botox!"
Just beyond Eva, another blinking woman greeted me. "I think it's working," Alex said. "Yes, my face feels tight! How does it look?"
The women studied each other, eyes a blinking. Oui, ça marche! they laughed, amused by the instant effect.
I settled into a salon chair and scrutinized my own face in the mirror. Beside my mouth I recognized a deep verticle line that comes from sleeping on my left side (it's just a pillow imprint, it'll go away. That's what I've been telling myself all along). Could frog spit erase that?
No! I wouldn't exploit a frog, ever! And even so, not for 159.99 a bottle! Besides, there were plenty of frogs in my back yard. Armed with a cotton swab, I needed only to chase them via leaps and bounds!
As my imagination subsided, I looked up to find the salon crowd scrutinizing their own faces in the mirror. A collective frown begged encouragment.
"Ah, but we have had our day!" Eva chirped. "It's the new generation's time to shine!" With that, she sent an affectionate clin d'oeil to the youngest customer: her 19-year-old niece, who had just begun modeling.
I sat admiring the lovely and si timide client, who reminded me of my cousin Audrey. Eva was right, and no amount of plastic or spit could aide in the jealous place-guarding. Time to give up our seats to a new crop of darlings!
But looking back into the mirror, my critical regard moved from my mouth to my eyes, where more wrinkles formed on either side. Raising my eyebrows the lines disappeared, only now my attention caught on my forehead, where a scar branded it like a side of beef!
"That was skin cancer." I said, pointing out la cicatrice.
Eva's eyes narrowed for a closer look and her voice grew soft. "Mince!" (Oh no!)
The fair-skinned redhead in the chair behind mine chimed in with more sympathy. "We all got too much sun in the 70s! Now I wear sunscreen everywhere!"
Suddenly the salon was achatter as each woman questionned her suspicious spots. But when my hairdresser's shirt flew up, I was at a loss for words!
Braless was the first thing that came to mind, followed by Man. I wish mine looked like that!
Obviously, I could not share the compliment with Eva, who, five years older than me–and over 50–looked amazing, naturally. And yet all those years of topless sunbathing had not gone without incident: I saw the familiar skin-colored nodule.
It might have been nothing, but just in case I urged Eva to see her dermatologist. She promised she would and returned to her fun-loving self in time to finish my balayage. As she worked, I couldn't help but think that while the sun may harm skin cells, it sure hadn't damaged this one's elasticity. Eva was looking good!
Driving home from the salon, I regretted not sharing the compliment with my hairdresser. Obsessive thinker I am, I spent the remaining journey coming up with witty delivery lines for how to tell Eva that she was the bomb, now and forever?!
Then it occured to me. I could have picked up the vial of frog spit and waved it, offering "You sure don't need any of this stuff, not THERE anyway!"
Yes, I could've said that, however simply, however absurdly. Or I can just hang low and chase frogs in my backyard–much less awkward, n'est-ce pas?
To read my skin cancer story, click here.
Selected Vocabulary
tout vide = entirely empty
ça marche = it works!
un clin d'oeil = wink
la cicatrice = scar
mince! = oh, no!
le balayage = highlighting
n'est-ce pas = isn't it?
Woman may do funny things as they age, like consider frog spit serum, but men wear funny things. Here's my husband's get up: unlaced steel-toe boots, pajama pants, a Harley Davidson jacket, a puffy-fronted baseball cap. But who am I to pick at him, when he's helping build this garden! Welcome, New Lemon Tree. We love you!
A row of leafy fava beans cheerily welcomes the new lemon tree. "Bienvenue!"
Anything that can't be eaten will soon leave this bed (bye-bye euphorbia. You are pretty, but carrots are pretty and delicious!)
See you in a week, with more photos and stories. Thank you so much for reading. Speaking of reading, I recently saw this book at Amazon. Looks like a good one! It's available on Kindle, click here.
"Finally a great book on what the Parisians are like and why"
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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DARLING KRISTI,
I haven´t even read your post yet – but I did just see the lemon tree. You have taken my breath away with this photo!!!!
XOXO
MOM
DARLING KRISTI,
I haven´t even read your post yet – but I did just see the lemon tree. You have taken my breath away with this photo!!!!
XOXO
MOM
Can I buy Domain Rouge Bleu vins in Atlanta GA??
Merci,
Letia
Can I buy Domain Rouge Bleu vins in Atlanta GA??
Merci,
Letia
Your garden is looking wonderful! Does the frog spit work on men??
Your garden is looking wonderful! Does the frog spit work on men??
Hi Kristin,
I need LOTS of frog spit. Love the lemon tree and Jean-Marc’s get up.
Hi Kristin,
I need LOTS of frog spit. Love the lemon tree and Jean-Marc’s get up.
Eileen, ouf! good to see your comment. I was beginning to regret writing this post. Too much frog spit and nudity? And written by such a prude! P.S. you do not need frog spit at all!
Eileen, ouf! good to see your comment. I was beginning to regret writing this post. Too much frog spit and nudity? And written by such a prude! P.S. you do not need frog spit at all!
Garden is shaping up! Oh, for a lemon tree in the Hudson Valley!! Fat chance. hmmmm: how would you say that in French? Kristin, help!
Garden is shaping up! Oh, for a lemon tree in the Hudson Valley!! Fat chance. hmmmm: how would you say that in French? Kristin, help!
Frog spit…Botox … We are all so vain! I wish that I had done more with my wrinkles when younger,but now it is too late,although I will look in the mirror and give my face a face lift and viola so much younger. Can’t afford the face lift or the Botox, although I do often think about it .
Kathleen
Frog spit…Botox … We are all so vain! I wish that I had done more with my wrinkles when younger,but now it is too late,although I will look in the mirror and give my face a face lift and viola so much younger. Can’t afford the face lift or the Botox, although I do often think about it .
Kathleen
Every woman needs a hairdresser like Eva. And some of us could use a little frog spit as well. But that lemon tree will give you joy that lasts much longer … Mother nature at her best!
Every woman needs a hairdresser like Eva. And some of us could use a little frog spit as well. But that lemon tree will give you joy that lasts much longer … Mother nature at her best!
Betsy, how about, for fat chance, *Quand les poules auraient les dents* ? (When pigs have teeth?) Here is wishing you will get your lemon tree!
Betsy, how about, for fat chance, *Quand les poules auraient les dents* ? (When pigs have teeth?) Here is wishing you will get your lemon tree!
Cynthia, LOL. Just saw your comment (I check these from my inbox). Thank you so much for introducing me to Eva! I owe you both a BIG lemonade when you get here!
Cynthia, LOL. Just saw your comment (I check these from my inbox). Thank you so much for introducing me to Eva! I owe you both a BIG lemonade when you get here!
I have had the chance to meet at least 5 of the commenters in this inbox — and none of you need frog spit! Kathleen, do not even think of it 🙂
I have had the chance to meet at least 5 of the commenters in this inbox — and none of you need frog spit! Kathleen, do not even think of it 🙂
Great post! Entertaining AND informative. Thanks!
Great post! Entertaining AND informative. Thanks!
That lemon tree is gorgeous!!! Sounds like an exciting day at the new hair salong! 🙂
That lemon tree is gorgeous!!! Sounds like an exciting day at the new hair salong! 🙂
I love the lemon tree……..so lucky. I have one but he has to go inside a lot due to the weather on the Oregon coast 🙁
What fun to have a hairlady like Eva. What an adventure…..
Finished your book — loved it! Did Amazon review & posted on Facebook! Thanks – it was great!
Stay well.
I love the lemon tree……..so lucky. I have one but he has to go inside a lot due to the weather on the Oregon coast 🙁
What fun to have a hairlady like Eva. What an adventure…..
Finished your book — loved it! Did Amazon review & posted on Facebook! Thanks – it was great!
Stay well.
I love your story…. and just like you, I spend hours after thinking of what I should have said and how I could make it right! Thanks for sharing…now I practice not to obsess 🙂
I love your story…. and just like you, I spend hours after thinking of what I should have said and how I could make it right! Thanks for sharing…now I practice not to obsess 🙂
Kristin, you always have been, and always will be, movie-star-beautiful. With or without wrinkles, it’s just in you.
And as usual, this post shows your inner spiritual beauty too. You’re always “obsessively” thinking about your neighbor and how to make THEM feel more comfortable.
Could there be a connection between inner and outer beauty? If so, you’re the proof.
Kristin, you always have been, and always will be, movie-star-beautiful. With or without wrinkles, it’s just in you.
And as usual, this post shows your inner spiritual beauty too. You’re always “obsessively” thinking about your neighbor and how to make THEM feel more comfortable.
Could there be a connection between inner and outer beauty? If so, you’re the proof.
Teresa, thank you so much!
Teresa, thank you so much!
Late in the day as usual. You may not even read this but I loved your story – we women can all appreciate wanting to look our best but I have come to the feeling that if I had no wrinkles then I would not have lived. but I did just cut a few bangs – just wisps – to help cover some of them up. Vanity! I would rather be old than dead. Have a great weekend.
Late in the day as usual. You may not even read this but I loved your story – we women can all appreciate wanting to look our best but I have come to the feeling that if I had no wrinkles then I would not have lived. but I did just cut a few bangs – just wisps – to help cover some of them up. Vanity! I would rather be old than dead. Have a great weekend.
Um, isn’t that “when hens have teeth”?
It’s great that you pointed out the skin cancer scar and used it to encourage other women to get checked. You may have saved a life!
Um, isn’t that “when hens have teeth”?
It’s great that you pointed out the skin cancer scar and used it to encourage other women to get checked. You may have saved a life!
Loved today’s post….felt like I was sitting in one of the chairs waiting for my turn with Eva. I have known for years that I have missed out on one of life’s pleasures by not having my hair trimmed at a beauty shop on a regular basis. I just snip a bit here and there on my wavy hair and hope for the best…..making more time for gardening and so forth. Bon week-end to all and best wishes for a perfect trip to Paris!
Loved today’s post….felt like I was sitting in one of the chairs waiting for my turn with Eva. I have known for years that I have missed out on one of life’s pleasures by not having my hair trimmed at a beauty shop on a regular basis. I just snip a bit here and there on my wavy hair and hope for the best…..making more time for gardening and so forth. Bon week-end to all and best wishes for a perfect trip to Paris!
Love the lemon tree! I wonder how one would
Do in Virginia??? With our crazy weather, I’m not
sure so great! I feel your pain with wrinkles.
I have one across my forehead from sleeping
As well. It takes awhile to calm down to minor
lines after I wake. I tried bangs in the last year,
but the natural wave of my hair really doesn’t
Like them. I’m back home from Florida tonight.
Waiting for me in the mailbox was your book.
I can’t wait to start reading!!!!
Take care, and don’t worry about any wrinkles;
You look great!!!!
Love the lemon tree! I wonder how one would
Do in Virginia??? With our crazy weather, I’m not
sure so great! I feel your pain with wrinkles.
I have one across my forehead from sleeping
As well. It takes awhile to calm down to minor
lines after I wake. I tried bangs in the last year,
but the natural wave of my hair really doesn’t
Like them. I’m back home from Florida tonight.
Waiting for me in the mailbox was your book.
I can’t wait to start reading!!!!
Take care, and don’t worry about any wrinkles;
You look great!!!!
Ps. Sorry about how post looks. I did it on cell.
Next time I will use the computer.
Ps. Sorry about how post looks. I did it on cell.
Next time I will use the computer.
Dear Kristin,
With all this talk of wrinkles, I am reminded of my mom, who had a leathery, weathered and wrinkled face after so many years (smoking and…) working with horses in the sun. For her the wrinkles were almost a rite of passage!
Her favorite t-shirt carried her spirit. It said , “I’d rather be over the hill than under it”. Cheers, Mom…
Enjoy your Paris trip and good luck with your presentation. I can only imagine that you will easily win over your audience!
Dear Kristin,
With all this talk of wrinkles, I am reminded of my mom, who had a leathery, weathered and wrinkled face after so many years (smoking and…) working with horses in the sun. For her the wrinkles were almost a rite of passage!
Her favorite t-shirt carried her spirit. It said , “I’d rather be over the hill than under it”. Cheers, Mom…
Enjoy your Paris trip and good luck with your presentation. I can only imagine that you will easily win over your audience!
You look wonderful and that scar is virtually invisible. You would never notice it. Have fun in Paris
Mary Higgins
You look wonderful and that scar is virtually invisible. You would never notice it. Have fun in Paris
Mary Higgins
Haha…first it was mother’s spit that solved everything and now it is frogs spit… wonderful thing this spit!!
PS. don’t worry ..my hubby went off to work the other day with his jeans, pink and maroon checked shirt, his favourite-years-old-never to-be-thrown-out steel capped builder’s boots and to top it all off.. a Nepalese multi-coloured hat! Just because he could! You gotta love ’em!! 🙂
Haha…first it was mother’s spit that solved everything and now it is frogs spit… wonderful thing this spit!!
PS. don’t worry ..my hubby went off to work the other day with his jeans, pink and maroon checked shirt, his favourite-years-old-never to-be-thrown-out steel capped builder’s boots and to top it all off.. a Nepalese multi-coloured hat! Just because he could! You gotta love ’em!! 🙂