Thoughts about give and take, and our dogs latest adventure. Photo taken when Smokey was one.
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disjoncter (dee-zhohn-ktay)
: to crack up, to lose it, to come undone
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
Given a second chance, I would have stayed calm. "Ce n'est pas grave," I would have said, assuring the boys and myself it wasn't a problem– and that everything would work out comme d'habitude.
But when the dogs sneak off I come apart, no matter who's around.
It was Max and his friend Paul that were around, when yesterday, at noon, our golden retrievers saw a glitch in security (a front door left open)–and ran with it. Ils se sont échappés!
I was in the kitchen at the time, hunched over a scrambled egg sandwich. Unaware of the fugue, or runaway, I was hyperaware of my lunch's demise. Oh, no–two hungry boys! One scrambled egg sandwich!
The unexpected visitors enjoyed harassing me for a share of my lunch, but I talked Max and Paul into learning to make their own: Crack four eggs, add a bit of water, beat. Toast the bread….
Now we were seated at the table with three giant scrambled egg sandwiches. As garden-fresh tomatoes fell from the sides of the stuffed sandwiches, it was hard not to appreciate the bounty before us. "Would you like another onion, Max? Paul, take another pickle–no, really, that one's yours!"
(At this point in our pickled debauchery, the dogs were a ten-minute sprint from the house… and gaining distance…)
"Quel honneur de manger avec mes garçons aujourd'hui," I offered, never mind Paul wasn't related. Yes, it was truly a pleasure to have lunch with my son and his pote, or faithful side-kick. The boys are often funny and engaging and I like the way Paul pronounces my name (Kristi): Et comment vas-tu, Kwee-stee? he says. It is unusual for a teenager to be so personable with his friend's parents and I appreciate Paul's attention.
(Meantime, no attention is given to the dogs, who are believed to be dozing by the front door….)
The mood was so good, so carefree, that I remembered an idea I had for the young men. Though I didn't tell Paul about Max's summer job in the States (fingers crossed he'll be a counselor at a French camp), I could still share the back-up plan….
"How would you two like to work for yourselves this summer?" I told the boys about "Le Projet Foutas" or the "Beach Towel Idea", wherein I would order 500 foutas wholesale (I'd seen the colorful towels here) and the boys could then sell them on the beach, come July, when tourist season is in full swing!
"C'est interdit. It's against the law to sell on the beach, Paul said. "….But we could sell them at the marché de nuit!"
Paul told me about the popular nighttime farmers markets that come to life in summertime. Meantime, Max began to calculate…. and then question the merchandise…. "How will we know the quality?" the newbie seller wanted to know. That got Paul thinking about the middleman (me, the buyer) and the percentage I should be given. "We'll pay you back, and give you 25 percent for your trouble!"
It was rewarding to watch and to listen to the boys seize the business plan, adding their creativity to it. Proud and motivated I spent the next 10 minutes giving the boys sales pitches:
"First, set up an attractive stand…" (I told them about the ladder display I'd seen) "Then, when you get a bite, that is, an interested client, mention that the towels make wonderful take-home gifts for family and friends! Tell them of the various uses: the towels double as picnic blankets, make a great tablecloth… and an effective cache-misère (you can throw them over an unsightly chair or couch). Ca va cartonner! I cheered. You guys will hit the jackpot!
Just as I was patting myself on the back for the ingenious idea–one which guaranteed my coolness and favor in the boys' eyes, I glanced over at the front door. Where were the dogs?
Et là, j'ai disjoncté. And there, I lost it.
"MAX! The dogs got away!"
My 18-year-old jumped to his own defense. "Why weren't the dogs in their pen?" he questioned.
"Because I keep them in the house when everyone's gone. I didn't know you were coming home for lunch! Why didn't YOU pay attention."
I looked at the clock. A half-hour had passed since the dogs slipped off. All the while I had been giving my all–feeding the boys lunch as well as a lucrative sales plan that would make them future millionaires. This, after telling them how wonderful, intelligent, and capable they were. But when it was my turn for help, gone was the reciprocity!
Paul stood frozen as Max argued with me. "Mom, you get so stressed out for nothing. And the dogs always return!"
Putting Max's argument to a stop, I let go an earth-shattering roar. GET IN YOUR CAR AND FIND THOSE DOGS NOW!
For the next hour we searched on foot and by car–one of us willingly, the other grudgingly, so that when I was down by the road shouting Braise, Smokey, I could hear my son at the top of the hill threatening the same. BRAISE! SMOKEY!
"Max!" I shouted, when next we crossed paths. "If you call for the dogs that way, you'll just scare them away." But my suggestion was met with thundering resistance… and mother and son were off again, in a shouting match.
Occasionally I would look over at Paul, amazed that my arms and lips were flapping like this, in front of our guest. But I didn't care anymore. It seemed to me that the boys didn't care enough. Now came the bitterness. After giving so much what had I gotten in return? These kids didn't seem interested in my well-being at all!
"Paul has to go home now!" I shouted, finding the boys in front of the TV. After a scant search for the dogs, they'd given up.
"Max, if you are not going to continue searching, then you can vacuume the house. I don't have time to now–I'm busy looking for our dogs!"
To think, only one hour before, I was cheering the young men forward. Now, I was washing my hands of the Beach Towel Plan and the freeloading salesmen I'd thought to hire! They could find another backer! Why would I want to help someone who doesn't want to help me?
Being a parent is a thankless job! The very thought makes you angry and you lash out, feeling even worse than before. All alone now, you look up at what you once had, and all you see is an empty house, shutters flapping in the wind.
* * *
The dogs returned on their own, before sundown–just as Max said they would. My son was long gone by then. Je vais prendre l'air, he had said, after vacuuming the house.
But before Max left, he came peacefully to my room to ask for the necklace I had offered him. (The day before he had gone shopping with a girlfriend, and she had waited as he bought himself a new outfit).
"Here, Max," I said. "Next time you treat yourself, why not get your girlfriend a little something? Always think of others."
"I do always think of others," Max pointed out.
"It's true, you do–but next time think of what is heartening to others. Those dogs are important to me. In the future, whether you agree or not with my reaction, please honor it by helping me."
It isn't easy to find the words to get through to someone, especially those "someones" of another generation. I hope Max will never forget the necklace, and the symbolism behind it: It is by giving that we receive.
Comments
Corrections and comments and stories of your own are welcome here, in the comments.
French Vocabulary
Ce n'est pas grave = it's not a worry
comme d'habitude = as usual
ils se sont échappés = they got away
la fugue = run away
Quel honneur de manger avec mes garçons aujourd'hui =
What an honor to eat with my boys
le pote = buddy
le cache-misère = something used to hide something
ça va cartonner = you'll sell tons!
je vais prendre l'air = I'm going out for some fresh air
Paul and Max. Maybe you'll see them at the Provencal markets this summertime? I've had a change of heart and think I'll be their middleman, after all.
Audio File: Listen to the famous poem, in French, by St Francis of Assisi.
It is in giving that we receive. The last words of today's story were inspired by a famous prayer. It is the favorite of my friend Melanie, who recently passed away from ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease. You'll find a recording of the French version of this poem, following Melanie's story, here. (Our daughter, Jackie, has recited the poem:
http://french-word-a-day.typepad.com/motdujour/2013/09/reconfort.html
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Our dear, long-departed Golden Theo used to jump the picket fence and eat the food of our neighbor’s ancient dog and then hop back over before anybody saw him. He did get caught by the neighbor one day but I don’t think that stop his thieving ways. (It was amazing to see how he could just touch between two picket with his front paws and not get hooked by the points of the pickets.)
Our dear, long-departed Golden Theo used to jump the picket fence and eat the food of our neighbor’s ancient dog and then hop back over before anybody saw him. He did get caught by the neighbor one day but I don’t think that stop his thieving ways. (It was amazing to see how he could just touch between two picket with his front paws and not get hooked by the points of the pickets.)
Hi Kristin,
You love the dogs so much that you may have overreacted a bit. You did say that you live closer to traffic now, so you were worried they may get hit by a car. When we lived in Kitzingen, Germany years ago our Labrador, Boomer got out of the house and we lived right on a main street in the town. We lived in an old (ca. 1565) building and the front door and steps led directly to the sidewalk and main street. About a 5 minute walk away was the Main River and a park. I looked for awhile and finally just left the main front door propped open. We lived on the second floor. Around 10 pm Buster barked and I opened our door and he was soaking wet and muddy from having played in the river most of the day.
Hi Kristin,
You love the dogs so much that you may have overreacted a bit. You did say that you live closer to traffic now, so you were worried they may get hit by a car. When we lived in Kitzingen, Germany years ago our Labrador, Boomer got out of the house and we lived right on a main street in the town. We lived in an old (ca. 1565) building and the front door and steps led directly to the sidewalk and main street. About a 5 minute walk away was the Main River and a park. I looked for awhile and finally just left the main front door propped open. We lived on the second floor. Around 10 pm Buster barked and I opened our door and he was soaking wet and muddy from having played in the river most of the day.
MY DARLING KRISTI,
Once again I find myself taking a few minutes of solitude to reflect on you and how you touch me each post with your tender, entertaining, and heartfelt writing. After all of the chaos of the search for the dogs, I find it most amazing that you could still share one of your deepest feelings of mourning which still surrounds you each day as you return to the keyboard to share your life. Yes, I am still lifting up loving thoughts to your dear friend Melanie, thanks to you for pinching me to never forget your precious friend. I enjoyed seeing your post about Melanie once again this morning and hearing Jackie´s voice in all of its tenderness. I love you Honey – you are doing a fabulous job each time you open up and share your thoughts with all of us. It is always so refreshing to hear a true report on life.
XOXO
MOM
MY DARLING KRISTI,
Once again I find myself taking a few minutes of solitude to reflect on you and how you touch me each post with your tender, entertaining, and heartfelt writing. After all of the chaos of the search for the dogs, I find it most amazing that you could still share one of your deepest feelings of mourning which still surrounds you each day as you return to the keyboard to share your life. Yes, I am still lifting up loving thoughts to your dear friend Melanie, thanks to you for pinching me to never forget your precious friend. I enjoyed seeing your post about Melanie once again this morning and hearing Jackie´s voice in all of its tenderness. I love you Honey – you are doing a fabulous job each time you open up and share your thoughts with all of us. It is always so refreshing to hear a true report on life.
XOXO
MOM
Bill in St. Paul, Theo is a part of our community, here, and when you write about your dearly-departed his spirit comes galluping through the comments box. Dear, dear, Theo! You are in our hearts forever.
Eileen, you rock! I need to loosen up — but it would kill me if something happened to our dogs when I could have prevented it. That said, I was able to let go when I remembered that we cannot be in control of the universe.
Mom, you know just the words! As you can imagine, I wondered whether I should have taken the day off (worked on other things), rather than write about this. Thank you for your postivie response to the story.
Bill in St. Paul, Theo is a part of our community, here, and when you write about your dearly-departed his spirit comes galluping through the comments box. Dear, dear, Theo! You are in our hearts forever.
Eileen, you rock! I need to loosen up — but it would kill me if something happened to our dogs when I could have prevented it. That said, I was able to let go when I remembered that we cannot be in control of the universe.
Mom, you know just the words! As you can imagine, I wondered whether I should have taken the day off (worked on other things), rather than write about this. Thank you for your postivie response to the story.
I truly think your heart will be less “changeable” (your word) as you age. Wisdom truly does come as well as the ability to let some things go.
I truly think your heart will be less “changeable” (your word) as you age. Wisdom truly does come as well as the ability to let some things go.
For some of us, the more we love, the more we fear the loss. But if and when the loss does happen, we are richer for having loved. My heart is filled with the comforting memories of faithful dogs, noble horses and multiple other pets. Having shared your experience many times, I well understand the heart pounding, gut wrenching feelings that come after discovering our dogs have scampered away, ears flapping in the breeze as they speed toward momentary freedom.
Recently I have lost three friends to cancer, all three near the age of fifty, all moms and soon to be grandmothers. From each came such courage and faith…each reaching out to those of us who sobbed inwardly and smiled outwardly as we tried to offer support. Like Melanie, their lives were full of giving. While missing them terribly, there is such comfort in having known them and loved them.
As for Max, his thoughtfulness and kindness shown toward his grandmother (in a recent post) was most touching. It seems to speak of the kind of young man he is growing into.
Thank you, Kristen, for your gift in touching upon the poignant events and moments in life through your writings…and giving us reason to pause and
reflect.
Chris in Kansas
For some of us, the more we love, the more we fear the loss. But if and when the loss does happen, we are richer for having loved. My heart is filled with the comforting memories of faithful dogs, noble horses and multiple other pets. Having shared your experience many times, I well understand the heart pounding, gut wrenching feelings that come after discovering our dogs have scampered away, ears flapping in the breeze as they speed toward momentary freedom.
Recently I have lost three friends to cancer, all three near the age of fifty, all moms and soon to be grandmothers. From each came such courage and faith…each reaching out to those of us who sobbed inwardly and smiled outwardly as we tried to offer support. Like Melanie, their lives were full of giving. While missing them terribly, there is such comfort in having known them and loved them.
As for Max, his thoughtfulness and kindness shown toward his grandmother (in a recent post) was most touching. It seems to speak of the kind of young man he is growing into.
Thank you, Kristen, for your gift in touching upon the poignant events and moments in life through your writings…and giving us reason to pause and
reflect.
Chris in Kansas
Bonjour Kristen
Such a great story —- so many emotions packed into it —–it is so upsetting to even think of losing our beloved “people with fur”. I do see why you reacted like you did — it is scary! I don’t think you overreacted —– they were missing! Nothing worse than a too casual attitude — in a crisis. So happy everything turned out well. I do think Max is kind & sweet —- but he is also a typical young man, and not into panic modes.
Stay well — love the photos of the puppies!
Bonjour Kristen
Such a great story —- so many emotions packed into it —–it is so upsetting to even think of losing our beloved “people with fur”. I do see why you reacted like you did — it is scary! I don’t think you overreacted —– they were missing! Nothing worse than a too casual attitude — in a crisis. So happy everything turned out well. I do think Max is kind & sweet —- but he is also a typical young man, and not into panic modes.
Stay well — love the photos of the puppies!
Salut Kristin,
Great “end of the rope” story! Having raised three sons, I can relate to the situation. I’m sure all families can relate to your reaction. It’s normal and comes with the territory.
I recall a similar lost dog saga while you lived at the vineyard. I wrote a poem about the event and called it, “Lost Lady”. It became my most popular poem.
I’m glad the goldens got home safe and sound.
À bientôt
Salut Kristin,
Great “end of the rope” story! Having raised three sons, I can relate to the situation. I’m sure all families can relate to your reaction. It’s normal and comes with the territory.
I recall a similar lost dog saga while you lived at the vineyard. I wrote a poem about the event and called it, “Lost Lady”. It became my most popular poem.
I’m glad the goldens got home safe and sound.
À bientôt
Kristin, I would have become totally “disjoncter” with you! When you love a person or an animal so much, I feel that yours was a perfectly normal reaction.
Have you ever thought about putting an invisible fence just around your house? Braise and Smokey would have to wear collars during the day (or when you felt it necessary). They would quickly learn that the tingle they feel on their necks means not to go further away from the house. It’s just a thought. (Many of our neighbors have these “fences” who have large dogs. It’s nice to see the dogs cavorting on the front lawns but never going near the road.)
Bon week-end to all !
Kristin, I would have become totally “disjoncter” with you! When you love a person or an animal so much, I feel that yours was a perfectly normal reaction.
Have you ever thought about putting an invisible fence just around your house? Braise and Smokey would have to wear collars during the day (or when you felt it necessary). They would quickly learn that the tingle they feel on their necks means not to go further away from the house. It’s just a thought. (Many of our neighbors have these “fences” who have large dogs. It’s nice to see the dogs cavorting on the front lawns but never going near the road.)
Bon week-end to all !
YEA CYNTHIA!!!
It´s time for Kristi to insist on an electric fence!!! END OF PROBLEM.
XOXO
MOM
YEA CYNTHIA!!!
It´s time for Kristi to insist on an electric fence!!! END OF PROBLEM.
XOXO
MOM
Have you considered anger management?
Have you considered anger management?
Ah, isn’t that the way of raising teenagers. They show such consideration and empathy for others (such as Max and his grandmother) but it often seems to disappear when they cross the threshold at home. I remember how panicked I got when I turned around one day and noticed the gate was open and my dear Millie was gone. She loved to explore, but we lived near a very busy street. I scared out of my mind and ordering my husband around as we began the search. I knew she’d be following her nose and never even see the giant truck that surely would run her down. About ten minutes or so after I started running through the neighborhood calling for her, a car pulled up to my house. I could see my Millie in the back. These people lived a couple of streets over near the super-busy street. Luckily everyone knew my dogs because we lived on a corner near a local coffee shop and saw my Millie in the yard every day so these Good Samaritans brought her home. I’m glad all worked out well for you.
Ah, isn’t that the way of raising teenagers. They show such consideration and empathy for others (such as Max and his grandmother) but it often seems to disappear when they cross the threshold at home. I remember how panicked I got when I turned around one day and noticed the gate was open and my dear Millie was gone. She loved to explore, but we lived near a very busy street. I scared out of my mind and ordering my husband around as we began the search. I knew she’d be following her nose and never even see the giant truck that surely would run her down. About ten minutes or so after I started running through the neighborhood calling for her, a car pulled up to my house. I could see my Millie in the back. These people lived a couple of streets over near the super-busy street. Luckily everyone knew my dogs because we lived on a corner near a local coffee shop and saw my Millie in the yard every day so these Good Samaritans brought her home. I’m glad all worked out well for you.
Kristin,
Thank you so much for the St Francis recording. Jacky’s gentle voice has made it perfect, and joy to listen to.
Being a dog lover as well, I would have also been worried in your cituation with dogs escaped. And eventually would have probably resorted to some advanced dog training techniques (definitely not to electric fences). Which of course is not easy, time and lots of treats consuming but may be very effective and pacifying in the end.
Having a dog myself and vacationing with her in different parts of the world (some rather wild and remote places included) and teaching her a lot of obedience and border techniques (often visual) which she is not supposed to cross, makes me think that it may be possible to reinforce your point to dogs, and make it more effective than 🙂 to your son. Remembering how old he is 🙂 it may be simply more adequate. 🙂
..no offense, but teenagers ARE hard to train! 🙂
Best of luck, patience and LOVE with both — with dogs and with teens.
Kristin,
Thank you so much for the St Francis recording. Jacky’s gentle voice has made it perfect, and joy to listen to.
Being a dog lover as well, I would have also been worried in your cituation with dogs escaped. And eventually would have probably resorted to some advanced dog training techniques (definitely not to electric fences). Which of course is not easy, time and lots of treats consuming but may be very effective and pacifying in the end.
Having a dog myself and vacationing with her in different parts of the world (some rather wild and remote places included) and teaching her a lot of obedience and border techniques (often visual) which she is not supposed to cross, makes me think that it may be possible to reinforce your point to dogs, and make it more effective than 🙂 to your son. Remembering how old he is 🙂 it may be simply more adequate. 🙂
..no offense, but teenagers ARE hard to train! 🙂
Best of luck, patience and LOVE with both — with dogs and with teens.
Such a sweet picture 🙂 I remember when Smokey was that little!
Sandy
Such a sweet picture 🙂 I remember when Smokey was that little!
Sandy
Glad the dogs came back! I know that if my sons and I were in the same situation, I would react as you did, and they would react like Max. Must be a mother/son thing. They’d think I was overreacting. Still and all, they’re great sons, and I think Max is too from all you’ve written about him.
Sandy
Glad the dogs came back! I know that if my sons and I were in the same situation, I would react as you did, and they would react like Max. Must be a mother/son thing. They’d think I was overreacting. Still and all, they’re great sons, and I think Max is too from all you’ve written about him.
Sandy
I assume that everybody looses it when their dog(s) run away. I do. We love them like a part of the family and fear for their safety. The electric fence sounds like the appropriate resolution for the dogs. My niece installed one for their new puppy/dog and it works really well. Took minimal training for the dog. Never had children but have observed from friends and relatives that the teen years are the hardest. The dogs look so innocent and peaceful in their picture. Thanks for sharing.
I assume that everybody looses it when their dog(s) run away. I do. We love them like a part of the family and fear for their safety. The electric fence sounds like the appropriate resolution for the dogs. My niece installed one for their new puppy/dog and it works really well. Took minimal training for the dog. Never had children but have observed from friends and relatives that the teen years are the hardest. The dogs look so innocent and peaceful in their picture. Thanks for sharing.
My dogs used to get out all the time and I live in a small town 3 blocks from the main street. Depending on the dog they would either go to town or the beach or just roam. I had one that would be down two blocks and over 4 before I could bat an eye! She is the one I yelled to a tourist to grab her. He chased her for 5 blocks in town. I picked them up in the car and brought him back to his bride. They were on their honeymoon! I get it…..and Max will too. He is still just 18 and it does take boys longer to figure these things out!
For some reason I can’t post a comment on my computer…..this part does’t want to totally come through. Guess it is time to come into the next century and get a new one…..mine is almost 10.
My dogs used to get out all the time and I live in a small town 3 blocks from the main street. Depending on the dog they would either go to town or the beach or just roam. I had one that would be down two blocks and over 4 before I could bat an eye! She is the one I yelled to a tourist to grab her. He chased her for 5 blocks in town. I picked them up in the car and brought him back to his bride. They were on their honeymoon! I get it…..and Max will too. He is still just 18 and it does take boys longer to figure these things out!
For some reason I can’t post a comment on my computer…..this part does’t want to totally come through. Guess it is time to come into the next century and get a new one…..mine is almost 10.
I agree with the electric fence. Many people in the Northeast have them and they see to work. Then you wouldn’t have to worry and the dogs could have a good time outdoors without being caged. They need to run and exercise.
Max is a caring young man, but he is still the typical teen and guys don’t get as excited or emotional as women. I’m glad that things calmed down.
Relax…how about some yoga?
Kathleen
I agree with the electric fence. Many people in the Northeast have them and they see to work. Then you wouldn’t have to worry and the dogs could have a good time outdoors without being caged. They need to run and exercise.
Max is a caring young man, but he is still the typical teen and guys don’t get as excited or emotional as women. I’m glad that things calmed down.
Relax…how about some yoga?
Kathleen
We had German Shepherds for years. I and the first male failed the obedience classes. They never jumped the fence until one did in a thunderstorm (the summer after his mother died). Sad ending for him. On a brighter note, our bishop brought his German Shepherd to our parish (the cathedral) last Sunday for the blessing of the animals, and she lay beneath the pulpit during his sermon. Then she lay in front of the altar during Holy Communion. Never moved, never made a sound. I so sympathize with you in your reaction to the escapees. When Max has children, he will understand the concern of parents of both human and furry children. Great idea about the foutas.
We had German Shepherds for years. I and the first male failed the obedience classes. They never jumped the fence until one did in a thunderstorm (the summer after his mother died). Sad ending for him. On a brighter note, our bishop brought his German Shepherd to our parish (the cathedral) last Sunday for the blessing of the animals, and she lay beneath the pulpit during his sermon. Then she lay in front of the altar during Holy Communion. Never moved, never made a sound. I so sympathize with you in your reaction to the escapees. When Max has children, he will understand the concern of parents of both human and furry children. Great idea about the foutas.
This story reminds me of my little bichon frisé running out the door and I just could not catch up with her. I was telling myself if she was meant to get lost, I would never see her again. But then as I was feeling sad, I heard her noise outside the door, half an hour later. Quelle joie pour moi!
C’est POTE, avec un E pour “buddy”.
This story reminds me of my little bichon frisé running out the door and I just could not catch up with her. I was telling myself if she was meant to get lost, I would never see her again. But then as I was feeling sad, I heard her noise outside the door, half an hour later. Quelle joie pour moi!
C’est POTE, avec un E pour “buddy”.
Such an adorable picture of your precious “Goldens”!
It does seem to be true that children, no matter their age, tend to feel comfortable enough at home to give their parents a hard time while showing a more compassionate side elsewhere such as Max did with his grandmother.
I always felt complimented when other parents would say what a lovely daughter we have even when things were sometimes difficult at home.
Such an adorable picture of your precious “Goldens”!
It does seem to be true that children, no matter their age, tend to feel comfortable enough at home to give their parents a hard time while showing a more compassionate side elsewhere such as Max did with his grandmother.
I always felt complimented when other parents would say what a lovely daughter we have even when things were sometimes difficult at home.
Because “Pote” is my married surname, I cannot resist chipping in. I miss the francophone pal who liked to call me Ma Pote!
“Losing it” in a panic situation is a humbling experience for a mother approaching midlife, I know very well indeed. Luckily, teens can be at least as forgiving as they can seem dismissive of parental concerns! For us, a pet’s missing is as distressing as a teen’s extreme lateness getting home. And the pet cannot be scolded for failing to call!
Five years ago, my newly rescued senior Border Collie ‘Bosco’ slipped out late one night when someone left a door ajar after letting a cat in. Bosco was a newcomer, so his chances of coming home on his own were nil.
My son and I traipsed the snow-covered neighbourhood as the thick flakes fell on and on. We did not dare call loudly due to the late hour. I was frantic, and of course did not sleep a wink, going out again and again to see if I could find Bosco’s tracks in the newest layer of white fluff.
At 8:15 a.m., the phone rang. A woman coming to work at a nearby office had found him huddled in a sorry curled-up circle by the glass doors to the lobby, shivering and thirsty. Luckily, he trusted her.
She called the local Humane Society with his tag number, and soon we were tearfully reunited. Bosco already had arthritis in his hips, so that night did him no favours. It did cement his bond with us, thank goodness, so that we could give him lots of loving care till his life ended several months later — I’ve always wondered if he’d have survived longer if this adventure had not stressed him so much. The joy of finding him safe’n’sound is a healing memory that stays fresh.
Because “Pote” is my married surname, I cannot resist chipping in. I miss the francophone pal who liked to call me Ma Pote!
“Losing it” in a panic situation is a humbling experience for a mother approaching midlife, I know very well indeed. Luckily, teens can be at least as forgiving as they can seem dismissive of parental concerns! For us, a pet’s missing is as distressing as a teen’s extreme lateness getting home. And the pet cannot be scolded for failing to call!
Five years ago, my newly rescued senior Border Collie ‘Bosco’ slipped out late one night when someone left a door ajar after letting a cat in. Bosco was a newcomer, so his chances of coming home on his own were nil.
My son and I traipsed the snow-covered neighbourhood as the thick flakes fell on and on. We did not dare call loudly due to the late hour. I was frantic, and of course did not sleep a wink, going out again and again to see if I could find Bosco’s tracks in the newest layer of white fluff.
At 8:15 a.m., the phone rang. A woman coming to work at a nearby office had found him huddled in a sorry curled-up circle by the glass doors to the lobby, shivering and thirsty. Luckily, he trusted her.
She called the local Humane Society with his tag number, and soon we were tearfully reunited. Bosco already had arthritis in his hips, so that night did him no favours. It did cement his bond with us, thank goodness, so that we could give him lots of loving care till his life ended several months later — I’ve always wondered if he’d have survived longer if this adventure had not stressed him so much. The joy of finding him safe’n’sound is a healing memory that stays fresh.
We are celebrating the 4 month birthday of our first Golden Retriever!! I am already so attached that I assure you, I would be a basket case, too, if she got loose. We live very close to a very busy road, but have over 3 acres of woods and farm for her to play on. We solved the road issue by purchasing a radio collar with a transmitter. We have it set for maximum distance, so she has a 100 foot radius from the garage where the transmitter is housed and then she gets a warning tone. If she keeps going, she gets what the manufacturer terms as a “static correction”. This is the kindest possible way to keep a dog. We put it on the lowest setting to start and followed the directions for training. Our pup is now happy running all over the yard, but she won’t go near the road, or out into the deep woods (puppy-eating bears and coyotes). It has eliminated bored behaviors like digging, and tearing things up and allows her to freely interact with her other pet pals around the farm. I LOVE it!! We do keep an eye on her, given her young age, but she loves being allowed out to play with no leash or tie out.
It has worked so well we are considering getting light collars for the 3 cats. It is also portable, so when we go camping, it can go with us. Love this darn thing!!
As for Max. I am fiercely devoted to my cats. Dog man (hubby), was not into the cats at first, but we temporarily misplaced one last winter. I was beside myself and Hubby berated me JUST LIKE YOUR MAX did to you! I went to bed in a state, but woke up an hour or so later, only to find Hubby had sneaked out in his ratty slippers and jammies, because he couldn’t get to sleep until he found the poor cat!! Don’t let the tough facade fool you!! Story ended happily, Tigger came home with Hubby and all is well! I DO think we will get all the cats radio collars, though…..
We are celebrating the 4 month birthday of our first Golden Retriever!! I am already so attached that I assure you, I would be a basket case, too, if she got loose. We live very close to a very busy road, but have over 3 acres of woods and farm for her to play on. We solved the road issue by purchasing a radio collar with a transmitter. We have it set for maximum distance, so she has a 100 foot radius from the garage where the transmitter is housed and then she gets a warning tone. If she keeps going, she gets what the manufacturer terms as a “static correction”. This is the kindest possible way to keep a dog. We put it on the lowest setting to start and followed the directions for training. Our pup is now happy running all over the yard, but she won’t go near the road, or out into the deep woods (puppy-eating bears and coyotes). It has eliminated bored behaviors like digging, and tearing things up and allows her to freely interact with her other pet pals around the farm. I LOVE it!! We do keep an eye on her, given her young age, but she loves being allowed out to play with no leash or tie out.
It has worked so well we are considering getting light collars for the 3 cats. It is also portable, so when we go camping, it can go with us. Love this darn thing!!
As for Max. I am fiercely devoted to my cats. Dog man (hubby), was not into the cats at first, but we temporarily misplaced one last winter. I was beside myself and Hubby berated me JUST LIKE YOUR MAX did to you! I went to bed in a state, but woke up an hour or so later, only to find Hubby had sneaked out in his ratty slippers and jammies, because he couldn’t get to sleep until he found the poor cat!! Don’t let the tough facade fool you!! Story ended happily, Tigger came home with Hubby and all is well! I DO think we will get all the cats radio collars, though…..
Thank you for these caring comments and for relating to the story.
Holly K, Please share the name of the company that makes the collar/transmitters. I thought these systems required digging a line around the entire area. Thanks
Kitty, your words were exactly the theme I was aiming at when I set out to write the story. (You wrote:
Losing it in a panic situation is a humbling experience for a mother approaching midlife.)
Thank you for these caring comments and for relating to the story.
Holly K, Please share the name of the company that makes the collar/transmitters. I thought these systems required digging a line around the entire area. Thanks
Kitty, your words were exactly the theme I was aiming at when I set out to write the story. (You wrote:
Losing it in a panic situation is a humbling experience for a mother approaching midlife.)
Millie, many thanks for the correction. So helpful!
Millie, many thanks for the correction. So helpful!