A black-and-white photo for a change and some frissons in today's edition. (Picture taken five years ago in Brignoles)
le frisson (frih-sohn)
: shiver; shudder, thrill
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Je me demande si, comme moi, elle ressent des frissons en écoutant cette chanson?
I wonder whether, like me, she has chills listening to this song.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
As I drive my daughter to her friend's to stay the week, I try to put aside any feelings of sadness or annoyance or frustration. Just what am I feeling as she sits beside me–dans un monde à elle?
At once plugged in and tuned out, she is hearing the music but not hearing me. Not that I am talking.
No, I don't want to start nagging or manipulating. I don't want to say "Why do you put on earphones when you get into the car?" (nag) or "If only you would make an effort…"
Je prends sur moi. I cannot control my daughter but I can control my feelings. As I let go, I look over to the young lady beside me.
Her wheat-colored hair is now shoulder-length. I notice how the new cut, a "carré", makes her look 18… four years older. She is not wearing too much make-up. She does look lovely. She is a lovely young lady—even with earphones and wires sticking out of her ears.
I look past Jackie to the fluorescent yellow field that is speeding beside her, beyond the window. The colza is in bloom!
"Look!" I say, unable to control excitement.
"Quoi?" comes the deadpan response.
Too late. We've driven past the magnificent blooming field. Tant pis.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
"Nothing…"
I feel my daughter's irritation and my own prickly feelings are back.
It is a two-hour drive from our house in the Vaucluse to the friend's house in the Le Gard. I am borrowing my husband's car so that I can "profiter" from the GPS… only the onboard navigator does not seem to be working. Instead of a bold line indicating the chemin, there are many bold lines indicating many chemins. I begin to voice my frustration.
"Follow the road signs," Jackie suggests.
I know her down-to-earth suggestion is a reasonable one, but I've suddenly lost faith in non-technology.
My daughter takes off her earphones and connects her iPod to the stereo unit (how she's found the connection is beyond me. I still can't figure out where the station dial is—make that the button. Everything seems to have a button in this pushy new world).
"Ça t'embête?" Jackie asks. No, it doesn't bother me that she wants to connect her mp to the dashboard. At least we can listen to the music together—the added advantage being that I now have a live navigator:
"Follow that sign…" Jackie says.
"Thanks…"
"Straight on now…"
"Merci, ma fille!"I say, in my best impression of John Wayne-comes-to-France: May-YER-see-maah-FEE-YUH!
My girl laughs and the life inside of her is my joy… for a precious second. She returns to her technical world, lavishing all of her attention to one of two metal-and-wire devices: her iPod or her mobile phone, where she is busy texting friends.
When the song "One Cup of Coffee" comes on, I enjoy belting it out:
One cup of coffee, then I'll go…
One cup of coffee, then I'll go…
My daughter perks up. "Do you like Reggae?"
"It's not my favorite, but I don't mind a little of it."
Jackie laughs, only, once again our connection short-circuits… one of us is back to texting, the other is looking out the window wondering what this world is coming to? And where, amidst all of these wires and wireless connections will we meet again, my daughter and I?
"Tiens, you'll like this one," Jackie offers, unexpectedly.
As I hear the familiar lyrics, goosebumps begin to rise… Suddenly my skin is electrified. The first four words are delivered so slowly—yet my emotions burst open:
If—I—should—stay…
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way
I begin to wonder what the French word is for these goosebumps and whether my daughter is feeling them too? Does she understand the words, wishes that I wish for her?
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish to you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you love
"Là, elle va se gaver." Jackie warns me that Whitney is about to drive it home…
And I will always love you
I will always love you
Jackie and I listen to eternal truth as delivered by the late Whitney Houston, whose words transcend the virtual or technical world, they are on our skin and somewhere beneath, or within.
I have an urge to know whether or not my daughter is feeling these truths, as I am feeling them (I've got to know: does she feel goosebumps too?), only I do not want to bore her with sentimentality. I've got to let go, to live and let live—to let the generation gap do its thing as it did for the generations before me. We are just an ordinary mother and daughter facing an ordinary gap…
…and yet, something extraordinary is about to bridge that gap…. a universal truth—one that it is encapsulated inside each and every goosebump, or frisson. Only, in order for her to know that truth—she's got to feel it.
And just as grace would have it, I am spared of questioning my daughter… for her next remark is proof that Love is the universal truth governing every lively cell in her body:
"Maman," Jackie looks over at me."Est-ce que tu as des frissons aussi?"
When she was little… and I was big in her eyes.
dans un monde à elle = in a world of her own
je prends sur moi = I'll get a grip on myself
un carré = blunt cut, a bob
quoi? = what?
tant pis = too bad
qu'est-ce que c'est? = what is it?
profiter = to take advantage of
le chemin = road, way
ça t'embête? = does this bother you?
merci, ma fille = thanks, my girl
tiens = here
là, elle va se gaver = there, she's going to give it her all
Est-ce que tu as des frissons aussi? = Mom, do you have goosebumps too?
How to say cherished in French? (photo, above, taken several years later)
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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J’ai eu des frissons en lisant ta post. It was very powerful and beautiful. Merci!
J’ai eu des frissons en lisant ta post. It was very powerful and beautiful. Merci!
Beautiful sentiment, Kristi, and like Gina, J’avais aussi des frissons et aussi un peu d’eau dans les yeux! Years from now perhaps Jackie will reread these posts, which will give her goosebumps once again!
Beautiful sentiment, Kristi, and like Gina, J’avais aussi des frissons et aussi un peu d’eau dans les yeux! Years from now perhaps Jackie will reread these posts, which will give her goosebumps once again!
Thank you for this delightful glimpse into a parent’s evolving relationship with their teenager Kristin! It has struck a chord with me because last night I posted a story along the same lines about my 15 year old son Max on my blog…!
What a journey huh? No matter what culture we live in.
Thank you for this delightful glimpse into a parent’s evolving relationship with their teenager Kristin! It has struck a chord with me because last night I posted a story along the same lines about my 15 year old son Max on my blog…!
What a journey huh? No matter what culture we live in.
What a blessed moment. Always to be remembered and cherished. My daughter and I, also, had some precious connected time together this week–blessings.
Mary
What a blessed moment. Always to be remembered and cherished. My daughter and I, also, had some precious connected time together this week–blessings.
Mary
Thank you, Kristin, for this touching and masterfully crafted posting. Superb!
Thank you, Kristin, for this touching and masterfully crafted posting. Superb!
Nous utilizons ce mot en Anglais, don’t we!
Frisson – a thrill; a shudder
– a brief moment of intense emotional
excitement
Thanks again for sharing your wonderful family photos!
Love love love black & white photography.
Great way to start my day and work week!Bonne journee tout le monde! Mark
Nous utilizons ce mot en Anglais, don’t we!
Frisson – a thrill; a shudder
– a brief moment of intense emotional
excitement
Thanks again for sharing your wonderful family photos!
Love love love black & white photography.
Great way to start my day and work week!Bonne journee tout le monde! Mark
Tres belle…merci. How sweet and memorable.
Tres belle…merci. How sweet and memorable.
Very moving, very powerful, very touching. Loved today’s vignette…..Mother/daughter relationships: always fraught with something. Boys are so much easier!! What a wonderful “reward” you got from your beautiful daughter with her words indicating she has similar emotionality to you – I bet you were hugging yourself inside all day long, Kristi!
Very moving, very powerful, very touching. Loved today’s vignette…..Mother/daughter relationships: always fraught with something. Boys are so much easier!! What a wonderful “reward” you got from your beautiful daughter with her words indicating she has similar emotionality to you – I bet you were hugging yourself inside all day long, Kristi!
Love this Kristin!!!
Love this Kristin!!!
I love that picture of you and Jackie when she was a young girl. We’re back from Languedoc and noticed in Toulouse that everybody under 30 is “plugged in”, either to their iPod or cell phone – kind of sad in that it shuts off the human contact.
I love that picture of you and Jackie when she was a young girl. We’re back from Languedoc and noticed in Toulouse that everybody under 30 is “plugged in”, either to their iPod or cell phone – kind of sad in that it shuts off the human contact.
Les frissons when reading your story. Such sentimentality in the powerful kind of way. And what a universal tale of all mothers and daughters. It’s hard to make you believe that you’ll survive this period when you’re in the midst of it, but you will. That Dolly Parton song sends chills down my spine, no matter who’s singing it.
Les frissons when reading your story. Such sentimentality in the powerful kind of way. And what a universal tale of all mothers and daughters. It’s hard to make you believe that you’ll survive this period when you’re in the midst of it, but you will. That Dolly Parton song sends chills down my spine, no matter who’s singing it.
merci d’avoir partagé ce moment avec nous. moi, j’ai trois petits enfants et je peux imaginer un petit peu… c’est dur de les laisser grandir.
merci d’avoir partagé ce moment avec nous. moi, j’ai trois petits enfants et je peux imaginer un petit peu… c’est dur de les laisser grandir.
Lovely story and picture, Kristin. That special connection is rare now, but in a few years there will be many more such moments between you & Jackie. Ah, the colza! Such beauty. And the plugged-in problem I recall from a road-trip in the US west many years ago. We had to alert our young son to look up from his Tetris game to see wildlife in Yellowstone. Almost threw that Game Boy out the window!
Lovely story and picture, Kristin. That special connection is rare now, but in a few years there will be many more such moments between you & Jackie. Ah, the colza! Such beauty. And the plugged-in problem I recall from a road-trip in the US west many years ago. We had to alert our young son to look up from his Tetris game to see wildlife in Yellowstone. Almost threw that Game Boy out the window!
Sweet.
Sweet.
What a beautiful way you have with words. I felt transported back to when my daughter was that age. Nothing to be plugged into then, but still “tuned out”. I remember wondering if it would always be that way. Am happy to say NO. She is 36 now and one of my best friends. The one I can always count on. Merci.
What a beautiful way you have with words. I felt transported back to when my daughter was that age. Nothing to be plugged into then, but still “tuned out”. I remember wondering if it would always be that way. Am happy to say NO. She is 36 now and one of my best friends. The one I can always count on. Merci.
The colza and poppies blooming together..ah très jolie! Your photo of young Jackie and you brings back memories of the way my daughters would look at me … before they reached puberty. Letting go is très difficile, mais hopefully, one day she comes back not only as a daughter but also a friend. Today my older daughter turns 43, a wonderful person and friend..
The colza and poppies blooming together..ah très jolie! Your photo of young Jackie and you brings back memories of the way my daughters would look at me … before they reached puberty. Letting go is très difficile, mais hopefully, one day she comes back not only as a daughter but also a friend. Today my older daughter turns 43, a wonderful person and friend..
What a touching moment. I have des frissons aussi. Tears as I think of my own mother and how much I miss her. Hope your busy week is fu for all.
What a touching moment. I have des frissons aussi. Tears as I think of my own mother and how much I miss her. Hope your busy week is fu for all.
Tres belle!! It brings back memories of my daughter and I. Now I have granddaughters, Claire 7, and Emily 5, and I am big in their lives. Such love! Where does the time go. Cherish each day for what it brings. Thank you Kristin, for a beautiful post.
Tres belle!! It brings back memories of my daughter and I. Now I have granddaughters, Claire 7, and Emily 5, and I am big in their lives. Such love! Where does the time go. Cherish each day for what it brings. Thank you Kristin, for a beautiful post.
Kristin,
Never under estimate the love she feels for you….and never under estimate all the love, struggle and sacrifice you have given to and for her.
She sees it, she feels……the goosebumps are the proof.
Kristin,
Never under estimate the love she feels for you….and never under estimate all the love, struggle and sacrifice you have given to and for her.
She sees it, she feels……the goosebumps are the proof.
lovely story
lovely story
Be assured . Eventually they become best friends. My two are & they have experienced the same with their daughters too.
The GPSs have minds of their own methinks. Ours once tried to take us up a cart track whilst we were towing a caravan (trailer for you Americans !) Fortuantely I had a map as well & told it no way were we going up there !!
Do other people talk to their sat navs,I wonder??!
Be assured . Eventually they become best friends. My two are & they have experienced the same with their daughters too.
The GPSs have minds of their own methinks. Ours once tried to take us up a cart track whilst we were towing a caravan (trailer for you Americans !) Fortuantely I had a map as well & told it no way were we going up there !!
Do other people talk to their sat navs,I wonder??!
Kristi Darling,
Well, Yes! – I am filled with emotion and tears at this very moment. As a mother of two very talented and beautiful daughters I have found I must always walk the line regarding my attentions. When Heidi and Kristi were young I learned how important it was that each received the exactamo proof of my devotion. Somewhere along the way all of my good intentions fell beside the pathway as life interviened. I remember as a young mother sitting before the Christmas tree and looking back at my girls, their eyes were on each others pile of presents, calculating who was on top of this game of life. And so it goes – on and on. I am amazed at how the three of us have mellowed in the past 50 years…Heidi will be 50 on her next birthday! She still looks 17 to me and probably always will as the years slip by.
All of this to say I had an encounter with Heidi yesterday afternoon. Heidi’s entire life has changed dramatically in the past year after many many years of upheavel – but yesterday as I answered the phone, right after hearing the first few notes of Heidi’s voice I was filled with the same emotion and tears Kristi has just shared in her amazing story above. All of the lyrics were in the mist of her words to me, hidden below the message of the moment…I could hear the melody ring through – “I will always love you.” Heidi may have not said these words in the moment but they rang through loud and clear as she opened her heart to me and shared her place in time.
You must understand – Heidi is not Kristi – this took me years to catch on to, I guess I am one of those lost in the forest looking for the trees.
I just wanted to share this moment – also I guess you have all figured out when I comment to Kristi I am also speaking to all of our loved friends here in the comment box – that is why I forget who I am addressing as I ramble on with my thoughts. I guess you already know who I am, who am I to think you are seeing the highest version of myself when I break through the fear of commenting on Kristi’s blog.
Kristi Darling – this story from your heart is a true classic…and should be shared far and wide….I hope all of your friends will send it on to some great magazines for consideration….for a “Mother’s Day edition if not this year then maybe next.
We are all so very blessed by God – all of us in this moment as we celebrate that we are loved. To all of my friends out there:
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
XOXO
JULES
Kristi Darling,
Well, Yes! – I am filled with emotion and tears at this very moment. As a mother of two very talented and beautiful daughters I have found I must always walk the line regarding my attentions. When Heidi and Kristi were young I learned how important it was that each received the exactamo proof of my devotion. Somewhere along the way all of my good intentions fell beside the pathway as life interviened. I remember as a young mother sitting before the Christmas tree and looking back at my girls, their eyes were on each others pile of presents, calculating who was on top of this game of life. And so it goes – on and on. I am amazed at how the three of us have mellowed in the past 50 years…Heidi will be 50 on her next birthday! She still looks 17 to me and probably always will as the years slip by.
All of this to say I had an encounter with Heidi yesterday afternoon. Heidi’s entire life has changed dramatically in the past year after many many years of upheavel – but yesterday as I answered the phone, right after hearing the first few notes of Heidi’s voice I was filled with the same emotion and tears Kristi has just shared in her amazing story above. All of the lyrics were in the mist of her words to me, hidden below the message of the moment…I could hear the melody ring through – “I will always love you.” Heidi may have not said these words in the moment but they rang through loud and clear as she opened her heart to me and shared her place in time.
You must understand – Heidi is not Kristi – this took me years to catch on to, I guess I am one of those lost in the forest looking for the trees.
I just wanted to share this moment – also I guess you have all figured out when I comment to Kristi I am also speaking to all of our loved friends here in the comment box – that is why I forget who I am addressing as I ramble on with my thoughts. I guess you already know who I am, who am I to think you are seeing the highest version of myself when I break through the fear of commenting on Kristi’s blog.
Kristi Darling – this story from your heart is a true classic…and should be shared far and wide….I hope all of your friends will send it on to some great magazines for consideration….for a “Mother’s Day edition if not this year then maybe next.
We are all so very blessed by God – all of us in this moment as we celebrate that we are loved. To all of my friends out there:
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
XOXO
JULES
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, I LOVE this story!! lovelovelove, patti
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, I LOVE this story!! lovelovelove, patti
Masterful writing, Kristin. Sort of a “stream of consciousness.” Quite effective here, mixing spoken and unspoken thoughts with dialog. Capturing a parents feelings as a child matures into independence. I imagine a person not yet a parent could feel some of the multiple layers of emotions you express here.
Masterful writing, Kristin. Sort of a “stream of consciousness.” Quite effective here, mixing spoken and unspoken thoughts with dialog. Capturing a parents feelings as a child matures into independence. I imagine a person not yet a parent could feel some of the multiple layers of emotions you express here.
Great thoughts. I view these moments as practice for when they really go, being ‘gone’ while physically with us.
Great thoughts. I view these moments as practice for when they really go, being ‘gone’ while physically with us.